I lay my head on my mother's lap, her hand patting my hair. It feels so nice and I just want to stay in this moment. I want to remain in my mother's comfort.

I've missed her and I've missed this feeling. Everything feels so calm with her close to me and I never want her, to seperate from me.

I never want to leave this place. I can breathe easily and I don't have to face the hurt anymore. I'm tired of hurting.

It pains to hurt.

" Can I stay here with you mom?" I ask.

" If you want to."

I smile at that.

But then Roman comes into mind and my smile slips off my face. I frown a bit.

" B-but what about Roman, I can't leave him."

She doesn't say anything.

" Mom?" I take my head off her lap and sit up, facing her.

She still looks so beautiful with her long dark hair, chocolaty brown eyes, moca skin and that smile. That smile that made everything feel like it would be okay. She looks so beautiful with the white dress on, both of us being surrounded by flowers, the sun shining down on us and just the sound of nature being alive.

" My little sunshine. Do you know why you are here right now?"

I shake my head no.

" You need to rest my dear." She says, touching my face. " You feel lost, pain, confusion and there is no peace."

" I know."

" You also need guidance and to not take everything upon your shoulders alone."

" I cant help but feel guilty all the time."

" Even when something is not your fault?" I look away.

" You have such a good heart my baby. You are the sunshine to people around you but now you need to start seeing it. You need to start believing that you deserve to smile and be happy. "

" It's so hard sometimes." I admit.

" I know but you have to. Alot has happened to you but you are still standing. You are stronger then you think and everyone knows that, even those who are threatened by you."

" Threatened by me?"

She nods with a soft smile.

" Your character Hazel and your nature, it attracts people to you. You are unique in your own way. You are honest and real. Some try fake that, just to gain attention but you don't."

" I wasn't so honest to Roman. That's why he left."

" Dear, you would have been honest to him whether it was sooner or later. You can't really hide anything from that one." She winks at me, making me chuckle.

" Now there is that smile I was looking for."

" I miss you mom, so much."

She pulls me into her arms and I sigh against her chest. My eyes close for a moment, feeling her kiss the top of my head.

" I don't think I know how to be strong anymore. It feels like I am in a whirlwind and I can't catch a grip of anything. I try to be positive and look ahead, but something comes my way. I try search for answers but I can't find any and Roman, oh gosh Roman, he had been so good to me but I can't help but feel like, I am messing everything up for him. I feel like I am some sort of distruction in his life and maybe -"

" Maybe if he didn't come back for you, then he would have been saved?" She finishes for me.

I nod.

" Okay, let me ask you this. If Roman at some point, thought you were a distruction in his life, would he have come back?"

I pull away to look at her.

" No, I dont think so."

" Then why do you even think that about yourself, in his life?"

" Because I keep getting him into some sort of trouble and he, he always has to save me. It must get tiring at some point. " I mumble the last part.

"If he were tired, he would have stopped bothering about you. But he is still here....."

"Sweetheart, you need to start seeing yourself as the positive in his life, even your family and friends. Everyone has a reason for why they stick around, in someone's life. You bring something to his life, something that has him not only sticking around but be committed and loyal to you. He values you but that wont be enough, if you don't value yourself."

My head hangs low, a tear slipping from my eyes.

" To have my eyes see this value of myself, it's not something to be easily done when I've hurt so much. I'm tired of hurting mamma..." I choke on my words, my chest starting to pain.

" I know honey, I know." She pulls me back into her arms.

She holds me for a little until I have calmed down again and stopped crying.

" Hazel, you've been hurt so much. This I know. But I did not raise a daughter who would easily give up on life. I raised not only a survivor but a warrior. Dont allow past hurts or any hurt, drain you of life.

Remember baby that you have choices, whether to live or to die. Whether to let all those who hurt you have power or you or hold the power. You have the choice to do something or be nothing. You have the choice to have happiness and joy, reign in your life or simply let go and be clouded by every bad memory and experience.

What happens next is your choice.

It's your choice and no one elses. No one can live your life for you. You need to think about you when you make this decision. "

" I hear you mama." I say.

" That's it honey." She tightens her arms around me, securing me in her warmth.

"Now, you should rest. But not too much."

What if I want to rest forever?

Can I make that choice then?

*******

... ROMAN'S POV...

" I can't believe I'm here right now?" I mumble.

Why of all places, did I come here? I definetly wasn't in my right senses that's for sure.

" No, you are here because you needed a place to vent. You might hate me but you know what, that doesn't matter to me because you are here. I'm glad that you are here."

" I can leave right now. I don't have to be here." I say, jumping off the couch.

"Then why don't you ?"

I see myself actually doing it, leaving but in actual reality, my feet are stuck. I can't leave and not because I don't want to, I just can't. I can't leave, I can't bloody walk out that door. In all honesty I'm afraid, that I once I do, I might do something really stupid.

I don't want to mess up again, not here and now when I've just gotten my Sweet back. I can't lose her over my stupid decisions, not her, not my life.

" He touched her, someone f*ckin' touched her !" I say, feeling my anger resurfacing again.

" I know. "

I clench my hands into fists and I can feel my body shaking. The images are vivid and are so raw that all I see is red.

" Aah!" I let out, my frustration sounding loud and clear as it echoes throughout the room.

I march over to the closest wall and start hitting at it.

" Roman!"

I continue hitting it, letting everything I feel inside out.

" Hey, hey Roman stop!" I feel myself being dragged away from the wall.

I feel my body give way and slump against him, my breath coming out short and fast.

" You're angry, enranged even, I get that. You're frustrated, you want to do something, better yet kill. And not just anyone, that assh*le who did this to her. I get all of that, but we can't go back in time, you can't go back in time and undo things. It happened, it's already done."

I wrap my arms around my knees and start rocking back and forth, trying to breathe but I can't.

It's painful to breathe.

" It was my fault, I shouldn't have left her alone."

" No, it was not, it was not hers either but that psycho's. " He says, kneeling infront of me. " Look at me, look at me!"

I look at him.

" It is not your fault and I don't ever want to hear you blaming yourself ever again. "

A tear slips out and I quickly wipe it away, adverting my eyes to the floor.

" I kept on pushing and pushing for her to tell me the truth, I was too desperate for things to go back to normal. I was selfish to go so fast when she was still trying to deal with everything. I could have waited just a bit longer."

" You never imagined something like this happened but it did."

" Why do you keep on rubbing it in my face that it happened!" I glare at him.

" Because it did and I want you to face the reality. This is no time to fantasise and wish things didn't happen. It's not a dream but a part of her past. " He sighs. " Roman -"

I shrug off his arm.

" Don't touch me, j-just stay away from me."

" Sorry son but I am here to stay, whether you like it or not. I will not leave you." He says stubbornly.

" Why would you even try when you've done it before. "

Silence follows after that.

I sigh, bringing my hands onto my face.

' Do you think I'm easy?' Those words, her words ring in mind.

I would get so angry when she would ask me something like that. I used to never understand why she would suddenly ask me that.

My Sweet, she has been through so much. I wish I were there to help her back then.

" You still can." Nick says.

I can't believe I thought that out loud.

" You can help her by being there for her. She told you her biggest secret -"

" All because I bloody forced her to." I grumble.

He sighs. " It doesn't matter, what matters is the now. What do you do now?"

" And what do I f*ckin do huh ?.....I bloody walked out the door when she begged for me not to. How do I go back to face her, when I did the one thing I promised I would never do...I - I betrayed her." My words choke on the cry that slips out of me.

He quickly pulls me into his arms.

He literally holds me and never lets go. He lets me cry, he doesn't say a word or even judges me for crying. He just simply holds me.

I should pull away but I can't. It's impossible right now when I can honestly say, I need this. I need this more then ever. For just a moment, he is not the man I can't stand right now but my dad.

I can feel my tears making his shirt wet but he doesn't care. He keeps on holding me.

"You left, okay. Your reaction was understandable, I understand it because I did the same, when I heard about your mom and what she went through, as a child. " I tense up and he tightens his hold on me, as if he is afraid that I will pull away.

" What did you do?" I can't believe that I am asking this.

It's quite strange that we are entering the topic of my mother, without us arguing.

" I drove to the nearest bar, I remember drinking so much, trying to numb the pain but it just seemed useless. I ended up starting an unnecessary fight with one of the custormers and one thing led to another. Anyway, my point in this is that I was running away from something."

" What ?"

"Fear. I was scared of failing, failing to be what she truly needed. I was scared of losing control of my emotions if we ever mentioned it or something. And in this, I did the worst thing possible, I did all I could to make her forget and ended up rushing her healing process. I did it all wrong and that I ended up losing her all together."

I close my eyes, thinking about my Sweet. I can't get the look on her face out of my head, when she begged me to stay. She looked so vulnerable, so broken and in pain.

How can I fix it?

" I don't know where to start in fixing this. How do I fix what I caused?......I basically walked out on the love of my life, when she begged me to stay. How do I look her in the eye again?"

" You wait." I pull away and look at him, frowning in confusion.

" You have loved that girl since you were a little boy. You wont allow yourself to lose her again. You will do what you did all these years and you will wait. You will be by her side and be her rock. You will be by her side whether she is sad, happy, throwing a tantrum or if she simply wants to strangle you. You will be there."

An unexpected chuckle escapes me.

" That girl has been through the worst possible shit almost all her life. But she is still standing. She is stronger then most people think. Tougher then most men I've dealt with in the years. "

" Yeah, that's my girl." I say, full of pride. She has so much strength in her and she doesn't even know it.

" But though she might be strong, she needs you. I mean, come on man. You literally fought all of us to be here, to come back to her. " I roll my eyes, nodding in agreement. " Now you can't simply walk away anymore, you stay there and protect her. Listen to her and be there, let her know that her Romy will never leave her side."

I arch my brow at the nickname, Hazel usually calls me by.

" Hey, I might not have been there for most of your life but one thing I know is, she first called you Romy before she learnt your full name."

My lips curve into a small smile.

My cellphone suddenly rings and I pull it out from my jean pocket.

" Hey man." I say.

" Rome I'm at your place right now and I need you to come back asap." Colton says urgently.

I can sense concern in his tone and that makes me to jump to my feet.

" Talk to me man."

" It's Hazel. She's not waking up."

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

I thought I should give you guys a bit of Roman's pov.

I wanted to let you in on how they both feel and stuff.