I kissed my best friend and I l-liked it. Oh my gosh, I'm so horrible.

" Hazel, open the door please!" Roman calls from the other side of the door as he knocks.

I don't answer, still trying to come into grips with what just happened downstairs.

" Come on baby please, open the door!"

He called me ' baby'. Oh my, I'm really dreaming right now.

" Hazel -"

" I kissed you Roman!....Oh my gosh I took advantage of my best friend!" I gasp as my words sink in.

" What the fu - no Hazel you did not. I kissed you first and you know what, I want to do it again!" My eyes widen at his admittance.

He would?.

A few seconds pass before I turn around and unlock the door, opening it slowly and nervously. I hear him come in and I don't dare look at him, until I close the door.

I quickly glance at him before adverting my eyes to the floor.

The room stays quiet and as time passes, my nerves heighten. I slide down the door, with my knees against my chest and head hung low.

" Hazel please look at me." I shake my head no.

I feel him sit down infront of me and that's when I peek at him.

" Did you mean it?"

" What?"

"That you would want to do it again?"

"Yeah." He nods.

I bring my legs down and sit upright, my eyes still not meeting his.

" I don't know what to say right now." I admit.

He comes closer, takes my hand and leans in , searching for my eyes and then says. " Well I have something to say, infact we need to talk. But first you need to cancel your plans. We need this - I need all your attention."

When our eyes meet again, I see desperation in them and I can't help but nod.

Relief washes over him.

He surprises me when he suddenly takes my shoes off, before rising to his feet and pulling me up with him. He takes my hand and leads me out of my room. While we head downstairs, so many thoughts swirl in mind.

I think about the fact that we kissed and Roman doesn't regret it. He said that he wants to do it again and now wants me to cancel my plans, because he wants us to talk. I want that too so there is an understanding between us.

I have so many questions and I can only get my answers now, through this conversation. So he's right, I need to cancel my plans with Jacob. Oh Jacob, I feel bad that I have to disappoint him right now but I need to do this. Roman wants this and I can't deny him.

Downstairs, I head on to my bag and take out my phone. I see two missed calls and a text message from him.

' Hey I'm here. I'll just wait for you.'

' Hey, sorry for the late reply but I will have to cancel. I can't go with you anymore. I'm sorry.' I respond.

A minute passes and then he answers.

' Oh, is something wrong, why did you change your mind?'

' My dad is here and there's some stuff we need to deal with right now. I'm sorry that I have to back out now, but this is important. '

' Okay, I get it. You'll be missing out though, but this is more important. I understand. Guess I'll see you tomorrow then.'

I send a smily face and a thank you before switching off my phone completely. My feet lead me towards the kitchen, once I hear shuffling in there. I stand at the doorway and watch Roman moving around, making tea.

Watching him, I no longer just see my best friend but the most attractive guy I've ever known, busy in the kitchen. I mean I've never been oblivious about his good looks, I've seen the many stares he gets when he walks on by.

I don't know if he pays attention to how much they stare at him, each time he enters the academy or when he is out in town. He is just downright goodlooking. He's got that mysterious bad boy vibe that girls dig and guys can't help but want to be in the presence of.

I've always just been his best friend but now that we kissed and I have had a taste of his lips against mine, I can't help but bite my lip and check him out. I don't know why at this moment, I wish for him to just turn around and come over here and kiss me again.

My eyes widen a bit when just as I thought, he suddenly stops what he's doing and turns around. His eyes trail up and down my figure before our eyes meet. He doesn't say anything but stalks towards me like I am his prey. My heart starts to race as he draws closer and when we are nearly chest to chest, he lightly cradles my face and leans in. To think this time, I would be prepared but when his lips make contact with mine, I feel my knees weaken and the hitch of my breath.

His lips linger on mine for a few minutes before he breaks the kiss, causing an involuntary whimper to slip out.

" You tremble in my arms when we are this close." He says.

I shyly hide my face in his chest, nervous to meet his eyes. He wraps an arm around my waist, where my skin is exposed and I jump slightly, when his fingers lightly tap on my skin. This time, I become aware of what he was saying, that I tremble to his touch.

"So cute." He mutters.

He kisses the top of my head before pulling back. I look up at him. He trails his knuckles along my cheek.

" What are you making?" I ask, my voice coming out into a whisper.

" Hot chocolate, I know how much it calms you down. " He says, before walking away to continue with what he was doing.

I follow him in and go on to take a seat on the barstool.

Watching him, I can't help but think about how much he knows and cares about me, but I feel like I have been missing out on something about him. Gosh, I've been selfish.

He soon finishes with making two cups of hot chocolate and hands me a cup.

" Thank you." A small smile touches his lips. He gestures for me to follow him and I do.

In the living room I place my cup down, take off my leather jacket before sitting down and tugging my feet under me. He too joins me. At first it is silent and I don't want it to be. It'll just make me nervous if we continue being in silence.

" I don't know where to start." I mumble, breaking the silence.

" Let me start, I need your eyes on me when we talk."

" I'm feeling shy right now Roman O'Connor, don't pressure me." I grumble.

He chuckles and I look at him, giving him a pout.

" Sweet please don't look at me like that. It just makes me want to kiss you again." He groans.

As fast as the pout came, it disappears and I blink at him.

" Roman, you kissed me." I point out.

" I know."

" And I kissed you back."

" Mm-hmm." He nods.

" I uh liked it." I admit, my face warming up.

His eyes light up.

" Me too." He says, a grin forming.

" But we are best friends." I point out, making his grin to slip off his face.

My lips part when his hands touch my shoulders and leans closer, his face having gone all serious all of a sudden.

" Hazel Grace listen to me and listen to me well. That kiss was not a mistake, I didn't make a mistake because I wanted to. And damn baby I loved every moment of it." I swear that my face heats up more, if that is even possible. Thank god for my dark skin or else I would have been red as a tomato right now.

" I don't just want to be your best friend any more. I want to kiss you whenever I want, hold you, touch you and shout out to the whole world that you are mine. I want to take you out and spoil you rotten, I want all of your attention and time, and whenever we are outside, I want all those f*ckers to wish they had you and that they are unlucky to have missed their chance to even speak to you. Because from now on, no bastard is coming near what's mine." He grits out the last words.

He says this with so much truth and emotion that I believe him. I believe him because I know when he is telling the truth.

" I have feelings for you Hazel Grace, believe me I do." He says desperately.

" I believe you." I say, taking his hand and bringing it up to my face, where I place a kiss on his palm.

A tear slips out and he is quick to wipe it away. " I believe it Roman, I can feel it in my heart of hearts that you do. I know when you tell me the truth and right now, you are."

A gasp slips out when he suddenly pulls me into his arms.

" I've always longed for this moment since I was a little boy." I pull back and look at him.

" You have?"

"Yeah, so bad. " I place his palm against my cheek and simply close my eyes.

I can feel him watch me.

He has feelings for me, deep deep feelings that are incomparable to others. This is all new for me but it feels good. I feel comfortable and I want to drown in this good feeling.

" Hazel?"

" Hmm?"

" How are you feeling. Tell me, honestly." My eyes flutter open and I look at him.

" Honestly, I can't forget that we are best friends."

" And I never want you to."

" But I can't deny that I like this, you and me like this. I feel comfortable yet nervous and have flutters in my stomach for being this close to you. I don't want to be anywhere right now but to be in your arms. And I wouldn't mind if you kissed me right now." I say shyly.

He doesn't even need to be told twice when he tilts my chin up and kisses me. I feel myself sigh and fall into the kiss, drowning in that feeling again. He is such a great kisser and his kisses are addictive.

I release a low moan when he pulls back, giving me a peck or two before looking at me. When my eyes flutter open, I find him smirking at me.

I roll my eyes with my cheeks warming up. " Stop." I swat his arm before reaching for my cup of coco.

He doesn't say anything but just stares at me.

" Roman stop, stop looking at me like that."

" I can't help myself." He shrugs." You're just adorable."

I roll my eyes at him, failing to suppress my grin. I hide this behind the cup as I drink my hot chocolate.

" Roman, were you mad at me earlier?"

" We'll talk okay, just not tonight please."

" Okay." I nod. " But what do you want to do right now, I mean I'm no longer going out." I remind him.

" How about we watch a movie?"

" Okay let me just go and change into something more comfortable, I'll be right back." I tell him, placing my cup down and rising to my feet.

" You can take something from my closet."

" Slow down cowboy. Maybe later."

"But you already had worn one of my shirts."

" Because I was lazy to look for something to wear and besides, it was right infront of me." I argue my case.

" Aren't you lazy now?!" I chuckle, shaking my head as I walk past him, heading for my room.

" Nice ass!" He calls after me.

" Shut up O'Connor!" I respond, my facing warming up.

I hear him laughing at me when I rush up the stairs, trying to get to my room and hide there for a moment as I calm myself down.

Roman is in some kind of teasing mood right now. He just likes to embarass me.

As I look into my closet, I find myself stuck. I feel nervous now to go back downstairs, I can't go down there wearing just about anything. Yes we are bestfriends but tonight, things have slightly changed between us. He isn't just my best friend, he has feelings for me.

Gosh, Roman has feelings for me. He has felt this way since we were kids and he makes my heart to flutter. This feeling and being so close to him, it felt so natural and good. I don't even know if it is a good thing or something to worry about?

I don't want to rush this, we cant. It's just too precious and valuable.

" Someone's lost in thought." I snap out of my thoughts and glance to the door, where he stands, watching me.

"Don't tell me you miss me already." I tease him.

" Actually I do." He pushes off the wall and comes closer.

" Really Roman?......I haven't been gone for more than 5 minutes."

" 5 minutes too long." He mumbles, pulling me by my waist where both our chests touch. " Sweet, we've been seperated for too long. Those years were never the same without you. To have you even turn your back, honestly speaking, I can even feel my heart racing in panic that I wont see your beautiful face again." He looks so vulnerable as he speaks.

" Roman, I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here with you. " I tell him.

He leans in for a peck on the lips before kissing my forehead.

" Can you believe that I couldn't stop smiling downstairs?"

" Oh and why's that?" He literally just stares, making me shy again.

" R-Roman, stop, you're staring again." I breathe out.

" Gosh, you're so beautiful." I blink up at him, my words getting stuck in my throat.

" Thank you." My lips let out before I can think about it.

A sweet smile takes over his face before he kisses my forehead, letting his lips linger against my skin. " I should get the popcorn ready." He says before walking away.

I turn back to face the closet, letting out a breath. I touch my cheeks with my hands, feeling how hot they are and wish they would cool down already.

Gosh, if I blush so much now, what will happen when I go back downstairs and we talk?

I run my eyes along my clothes, still searching for something to wear.

' I'll just wear pj's. Roman will like me in anything that I decide to wear, even simple pjs.'

I finally change out of my clothes and go on to wash off my make - up, before heading back downstairs. I walk into a cute sight in the living room, the coffee table is covered with a white table cloth and there are rose patels splattered around the food, a candle is situated in the center of the coffee table.

A smile lifts on my face and my heart swells at the gesture. It is so cute.

I gasp in surprise when arms wrap around me, pulling me to a chest. His warm breaths trickles down on my skin and makes me shudder.

" You're so sneaky, do you know that?" I say, turning in his arms. "You didn't have to go through all this trouble Roman, I wouldn't have minded if we just ate popcorn."

He shakes his head in protest. " Nope, my girl deserves so much more. " He tugs a strand of hair behind my ear as he says this.

"Yours huh?" I raise my brow.

" Mine." He says, giving me a peck. " Come on." He leads me to the couch.

" I never thought you'd turn out to be a master chef." I comment as I dig into my food.

" You'd be surprised that I found a liking to it, I thought why not learn a few things for me and my Sweet."

" You know, I've never heard you just talk about yourself, you've always mentioned me and you in everything. It makes me feel bad that once upon a time, I did all I could to try and forget you. " I look away, guilt sneaking up on me.

" No, no. Don't do that Hazel Grace. Don't go thinking about things that will put a frown on your beautiful face. We should not go back in time and visit memories that will make us feel bad, okay?"

"Okay. " I nod.

"Good, now lets quickly eat because I wanna cuddle."

" Oh, so you're the cuddling type. Good to know." I say, pointing my finger at him.

" I've always been baby, you just never asked?"

There he goes again, calling me ' baby' . He doesn't know it yet but it causes a flip to my heart.

********

The sound of my alarm wakes me up and I reach out my hand to switch it off, but it stops ringing before I stop it. My eyes flutter open and Roman is the first I see.

He is laying on his side and resting his head on his propped up arm. He is just staring at me and my cheeks flush at the thought of him, watching me sleep. I turn my head to face away from him.

" Don't hide your face from me Hazel Grace." He scolds lightly.

" How could you even want to watch me sleep?...... There's nothing interesting here."

" First of all I can and I want to. Secondly, I have my own reasons for doing it and lastly, I want to see your face. So look at me."

" It's too early and I haven't even washed my face." I protest.

" I don't care."

"Let me atleast go and brush my teeth." I bargain.

"First look at me." He is so stubborn.

I sigh before turning to face him.

His eyes look over my face as if putting every inch of my face, into memory. His eyes soften and a tender smile lifts on his face, his fingers comb through my hair.

He continues looking at me for a few more minutes before saying. "Okay, I'm done. You can go now."

There is satisfaction in his tone, it's so clear.

He is acting so strange this morning.

I give him a ' really ' look before moving out of bed and stretching my arms. My top rises up abit, exposing my stomach and that's when I feel a strong gaze on me. I glance at him and sure enough he is staring, more like his eyes focused on my exposed skin.

" See something you like?" I ask, wiggling my brows teasingly.

" Yep, come here baby." He opens up his arms.

" Nope or else I will never get out of this room." I say as I rush out of my room.

" Come back Hazel !" He calls after me.

" Not a chance O'Connor!" I respond, giggling.

I get to the bathroom and do my morning routine. When I look myself in the mirror, I try find what Roman had been looking at so much. I find nothing but the ordinary on my face.

I shrug, giving up trying to find it. I leave the bathroom and go back to my room, gasping in surprise when I'm suddenly pulled to a chest.

"Goodmorning." He says, looking down at me.

"Morning." He leans down to nuzzle our noses against each other, before he kisses my forehead.

"We should probably get ready for school." I say.

" Well I was thinking that maybe we could skip today. "

" Skip?"

" Yeah, you know stay in and cuddle, spend time together. "

" We have a whole weekend together Roman." I try reason.

" I know but it wouldn't hurt if we could start the weekend early." He leans down to kiss me, capturing me in his kisses.

" Okay." I nod without thinking twice, feeling dizzy from the kiss he has just given me. " You're so bad."

" I know." He says against my lips.

And he sounds so smug about it.

" You know what this means right?" He asks as he leans back.

" What?" I ask curiously.

" No phones or communication to the outside world. Just you and me alone."

" Scary." I mumble, teasing him.

" Hey, I'm fun to be around!" He gasps dramatically.

" Sure you are." I reply sarcastically.

He narrows his eyes at me and before I know it, he picks me up, leaving me with no choice but to wrap my legs and arms around him.

" Really Roman?!" I breathe out.

He chuckles, leaning his head back so we are looking at each other.

"Was this really necessary?"

" Yes, I did say that I wanted to hold you whenever I want. Can you blame me for wanting you to be with me at all times?" He blinks up at me innocently, making me feel spechless.

I can't look away from him when he is looking so cute right now. It might be a trick but I still can't look away from him.

I realize once he has sat us down, that he was distracting me from paying attention to our current sitting position. I'm straddling his lap and that makes me blush so hard, I hide my face in his shoulder.

" Let go of me Roman." I say, still not looking up at him.

"Nope."

" But we need to talk."

" We can talk right now." He stubbornly says.

I lean back and look at him.

" We really need to talk."

His eyes search my own and when he sees that I am serious, he loosens his hold on me and I get off his lap, sitting next to him.

" You never told me why you were in such a mood these past couple of days." I start.

He sighs, knowing that he can't get out of this conversation again.

" I was mad."

" At me?"

" A bit. I wanted so bad for you to finally take notice and not look elsewhere. When I saw you talking to Jacob and how you two were just getting along, I felt both panicked and heartbroken, that I might lose you again. I was frustrated that you couldn't see me right infront of you." He shakes his head as if being taken back to the time he felt like that.

" I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He kisses my hand. " I'm just relieved that you never went out on that date with him."

" I'm glad you stopped me. You finally opened up and let me know what it is that has been stored in this heart of yours." I say, placing my hand where his heart beats.

" I was more frustrated and mad at myself, for giving so much time and space for someone to even think they have a chance with you. It's time they learnt that you are Roman Joel O'Connor's girl. "

" Aah, he said his full name. It's a Miracle!" I gasp dramatically, earning a flicker on my nose.

" That was by mistake." He defends himself.

" Sure." I roll my eyes.

He grins at me, while playing with the ends of my hair.

" Can I just say something?"

He nods giving me his full attention.

" Like I said last night that this is all new to me, I didn't expect last night to turn out the way it did and I don't regret it. I just -"

" Just what?"

" This, what is happening between us, I don't take it lightly. That's why I wouldn't want us to rush or go too slow, but to do things on our own pace. This is not just something we are trying out but it is important, precious and holds value. You are not just anyone to me Roman and that's why I want this to work. I want to get used to what's happening between us and find my own feet into it. I just would like us to let everything flow on its own. I - I don't know if I am making any sense." I say nervously.

" Hazel." He touches my face. "This, what's happening now is the start of something new, a start of forever. You are it for me Hazel and I'm not saying this to put pressure on your view and feelings to this relationship. I am all in baby, 100%. We can go in any pace you want, slow, fast or medium." I let out a small laugh and he smiles at that.

" You are all that matters, your feelings and everything Hazel. You tell me how you are feeling, you be honest with me and never feel scared. I'm here and I'm never going anywhere."

I launch myself in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. " Thank you." I breathe out.

He chuckles, wrapping his arms around me. He kisses my head.

" Hazel Grace, do you honestly think I would get mad and not understand?... You are my Sweet, I understand you. Besides, why would I try and mess this up, why would I try and mess up my life long dream turned into reality, when I have waited so long for this?.... Only a fool would want to mess this up and babygirl, I'm not a fool."

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

I think we can all sigh in relief because she didn't run away again.

I think it's good to be honest with each other and let each other know, about where one stands and their feelings.

I think we all need to keep in mind that it hasn't been long since Hazel got out of a relationship, but it doesnt lessen any feelings she has for Roman. She doesn't want to mislead either him or her, but go steady.

This is her Rome, she cant lose him.

And for Roman, aww...a dream come true for him. He understands his Sweet, so no worries.

I hope you have enjoyed this chapter.

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