He mentioned Roman and I was already agreeing.

He took me to the coffee shop close by, which was a walk away and the only place I felt comfortable talking at. Thankfully he had an umbrella ready, so we didn't get wet. The coffee shop smelt like coffee, obviously, but the earthy colour theme with the dark floor, brown and creame white walls and a hint of orange here and there. The place screamed cozy and comfy, just what I liked.

He chose the booth at the back with a window seat, sitting opposite me. A waitress came by and we both seemed to order our own different hot beverages and nothing more. I took a good look at him and one thing came to mind. He looks just like Roman.

" You wanted to talk about Roman." I speak up, not wanting to drown in the silence.

" Yes, Roman hates me." I blink at him, surprised by what he just said. " You don't have to say anything to that, we both know that it's true.

" I don't know about that. "

"Okay then, you know that he doesn't want to see me or talk to me. He doesn't see me as his father."

I can't agree or deny this because Roman calls his father by his name. He just doesn't like to call him dad.

The waitress comes back with our orders, having added a free muffin.

"Thank you." I mumble to the waitress before she walks away again.

I turn to Mr O'Connor, who's already looking at me.

" Mr O'Connor -"

" Nick." He corrects .

" Nick. I still don't understand what you are trying to say here. What are we really talking about?" I finally ask, wanting a straight answer.

He shakes his cup a bit before taking a sip, then looks at me.

" I want to talk about your friendship with my son." I tense up, being reminded of what happened at the hospital.

" I'm not leaving Roman, if that's what you are here for." I say, looking at the table.

My heart is already racing, waiting for the same words he had hit me with, at the hospital, to be repeated to me again. He had said some hurtful things to me, all of them simply stating that I am no one to Roman and I mean nothing in his life.

" I don't want you to leave him." My head shoots up, my eyes widen in surprise, again.

" You don't?"

He nods.

" I remember you Hazel."

"W-what?" I ask in confusion.

" You were just a little girl then, oblivious to the world around you. You were his first friend. I remember the last day I saw Roman, you two fell asleep during a movie. I kissed Roman's forehead and just when I leaned back, our eyes met. You didn't say anything but outstretched your hand and gave me this." He says, digging in his coat pocket.

He pulls out something small and I realize that it is a small horse toy.

"You said bye bye Ni-Ni and then fell back to sleep. You couldn't say my name properly and you've only heard it maybe twice." He chuckles a bit.

" I don't remember." I say honestly.

"You were so small but until this day, you made a mark into his life. You've always been his bestfriend. I never realized this sooner and when I did, Roman had already said he didn't want to see me again. I don't blame him for that."

"He was just upset."

"He had a right to. Look Hazel, I don't want to involve you in what's happening between Roman and me, that would be unfair on my part, especially how I had treated you."

I turn away from him and look out the window.

"My behaviour towards you was unacceptable especially after what you'd gone through." My head snaps to him in surprise.

Does he know ?

And if he does, how ?

" I had you checked out."

" W-what?" I blink at him, taken aback by this information. " Why did you do that?"

" Everything that happened that night bothered me and all I could do, was look for a little more information on you. Once I realized who you were and how important you are to Roman, I felt ashamed. I acted like a bully Hazel, that was wrong of me. And I am sorry."

He apologised. Roman's father just apologised to me.

"O-okay." I stutter, not knowing what else to say.

"You aren't obligated to forgive me Hazel, what I did was both disgusting and humiliating. I bullied a little girl and that's wrong on so many levels."

"It's okay Mr O'Connor. Roman is alive and back to his old self. That's good enough for me." I say, drinking my coffee.

I feel him stare at me and still feeling a little nervous under his gaze, I focus my eyes on my cup. "You saved my son's life Hazel Grace, I will forever be grateful for that. Thank you."

" You don't need to thank me Mr O'Connor. If I had to do it all again, I would."

" I know you would. You fought for him, more then anyone ever could. More then I ever did."

"You got him out of trouble and helped his friend out. That meant something to him. He might not admit it but each time he gets into trouble, I think deep down he knows that you'll be there to save him somehow."

"That's quite a comforting thought." He says with a small smile.

My own small smile lifts on my face.

" I wasn't there for most of his life and not because I didn't want to. So much happened back then and he paid for that." He says, staring off into the distance. " He was innocent in all of this."

I frown at his words.

A message alert pops up on my phone and it's from Roman, telling me that he's on his way.

" He's on his way, I'm sorry but I should go." I say, already digging in my wallet for money to pay, but he says he's got it.

"Before you go Hazel, I want to say something and I would like for you to think carefully about it."

I nod.

" What happened to you with that group of kids, should be taken seriously and something must be done about it."

My mouth opens and closes, words not coming out.

" If you would like me to, I can look into it." He says, leaning forward.

" I'm trying to distance myself from anymore trouble or drama, I'm sorry." I say, rising to my feet and taking my school bag.

"And I can understand that. You've been through way more then I can count, but that doesn't mean we should let injustice win." I nervously bite my lip, twiddling my fingers together.

" Mr O'Connor-"

"Don't stress about this. It's just a thought to go over, that's all." I nod.

Before I can leave, he gives me his umbrella and I thank him for that.

The rain hasn't stopped.

Returning back to where I usually wait for Roman, I notice his car already parked at the parking lot. I rush to it and once I get in and have settled in, with my seat belt on, I turn to him.

"Where were you, therapy has long finished."

" I popped by the coffee shop nearby, I was feeling a little cold."

He nods, accepting my answer.

" I'm sorry for not bringing you here earlier. Got detention."

" Colton already expained it to me."

"He should have told me earlier if he was giving you a lift." He mumbles with a frown.

"Is something wrong?"

"Nothing." He says, looking at me for a good 2 minutes, before starting the car and driving us out of there.

Roman puts on the heater and being comfortable yet a little tired, my eyes start to droop low until I can't fight sleep anymore. All too soon we arrive and he softly wakes me up, I don't give him too much trouble, resisting. He takes my bag and places it on his shoulder before taking my hand, locking the car and leading me to our apartment.

The bed calls for me the minute I enter inside and my feet lead me upstairs.

" Go and change, I'll make you some lunch and bring it up to you."

"Thank you." I mumble, half asleep and dragging myself to my room.

I finally reach my room and don't waste time in taking off my school uniform, grabbing the shirt that is on my bed and is quite big on me. The fact that it smells like Roman, just obviously tells me it's his. And I like it.

I'll wash and return it to him later.

My head hits the pillow and I'm minutes away from drowning into a slumber.

In the midst of getting lost in sleep, I feel the bed dip. " Hazel?"

"Hmm."

" You need to eat."

"Not now Romy, let me sleep please." I say, snuggling into the pillow.

He chuckles. "Okay Sweet. Sleep."

" Thank you."

" Roman?" I call him, my eyes still remaining closed.

"Yeah?"

" Stay with me for a bit."

" Okay." A lazy smile touches my lips as his fingers softly touch my hair.

The feeling is calming and comfortable.

"We can celebrate my birthday." I mumble.

I think I'm under influence of exhaustion to make sense of my words.

" Yeah?" He asks, surprised.

"Mmm, only if you talk to your dad." He grows tense and I feel it through his hand on my face.

But even then, I don't open my eyes until sleep surely blocks out my surroundings.

*********

I wake up to no sign of Roman anywhere. He's gone and I don't know where he went. It's in the early evening and I have no clue on his whereabout, he didn't even leave a note.

He must have been in some kind of hurry then.

Having the whole place to myself for a while, I decide on a nice long bath that takes 30 minutes, braid my hair into a long braid and still wear Roman's shirt because it's comfy, this time with a pair of pyjama shorts and knee length socks.

I take a blanket downstairs with me, preparing a bowl of popcorn, hot chocolate, adding with the lunch Roman made for me and I am good to go. A knock unfortunately comes through before my behind can touch the couch.

I sigh, heading over to answer the door.

My jaw drops when my eyes make contact with Aunt Karen.

" Aunt Karen, w-what are you doing here?"

"Is that any way to greet your family?" She quirks her brow.

"Oh sorry, please come in." I step aside and open the door wider, letting her in.

" Why am I always the last one to hear about what's happening in your life Hazel?...You moved and you didn't tell me!" She lets out after I close the door and turn to face her.

" H-how did you find out?"

"Is that all you're worried about?....You kept things from me Hazel."

" I'm sorry aunt Karen, that came out wrong. Uh alot has happened and things have been crazy , I'm still trying to find my feet on steady ground." I say, walking closer to her. " I-I've been going to therapy."

"What, therapy again?.......No, why would you need to talk to someone when you have me?"

"Aunty -"

"Who would think of even sending you there when we all know you aren't crazy. I would know, because I gave birth to you. My baby is not crazy!"

My eyes have grown wide an inch. I am taken aback by her reaction to this, I didn't think she would react like this.

"Aunt Karen calm down, it's okay. I'm okay with this, I don't mind -"

"Did someone force you into this?"

"What?- no. No one forced me."

Where did she get that crazy thought?

" You know what, I'm calling your father, he needs to explain to me what he was thinking -" she starts digging into her bag, probably looking for her phone.

" Aunty no."

" No Hazel, I need to know why -"

" Aunty please!" I quickly touch her arm, stopping her.

She releases a harsh breath, pushing back her hair. She's not taking these news so well, I wonder what she would think if I told her the whole story.

" Aunt Karen please sit down and I'll explain everything."

She looks at me for a moment before taking a seat.

"Would you like anything to drink?" She shakes her head no.

" I just need you to tell me everything and don't leave anything out."

I sigh, taking a seat next to her.

" Well for starters, I broke up with Danny."

" What?" She gasps.

"He cheated on me with a girl I know."

Her brows pull together and I sigh, knowing that I will have to retell the whole story again. I take my time in doing so, surprisingly not shedding a tear or the feeling to cry never coming. Yes, the feeling of pain, hurt and betrayal still gnaws at me but to not cry, now that is an achievement on its own.

I think I've cried enough now.

I watch my aunt take in everything I've just told her in. Most of the time she would let out a gasp, mumble words out of shock or even cover her mouth or touch her chest.

I felt bad for having kept all of this from her but with how crazy things have been, I just didn't have time to even think of calling her. I feel guilty about this.

"Oh my baby." She pulls me in for a hug. " I'm so sorry, I never thought this would happen to you."

" Yeah me too, but it did and now all I want to do, is forget." I mumble, pulling back to look at her. "At first I couldn't sleep or make sense out of anything. I felt confused and lost."

" Oh you never have to feel like that ever again, not when I am here. I'm here sweetheart, you know that. You can call me anytime, day or night and I'll be there." She says seriously, her eyes telling me that she means what she says.

" I know." I say.

" Alot has been happening since that night and at one point, I thought I would lose Roman like how I lost my mom or Sofia."

" We are all here, you never have to feel alone ever again. "

" I know, I just - lately I've been missing mom alot, I don't know." I mumble, rising to my feet and staring off into the distance.

I turn to face her after a minutes of silence. "Maybe it's because her anniversary is coming up in a few months. And when I think about what you did for her, sacrificing yourself - "

"No, not sacrifice Hazel." She quickly rises on her feet, standing infront of me. "Not a part of what I did, felt like a sacrifice. It was a miracle, my own little miracle." She touches my face, a smile appearing on her face. 'I knew you were mine '

"W-what?" I ask, not sure if I heard right.

"Doing what I did was not a mistake. You brought light and happiness to our family, when everything had seemed so dark. " I smile at her. " You brought light into my life."

"Aunt Karen, can I ask you something?"

"Sure honey." We take a seat back down and she takes my hands, nodding for me to go ahead.

"Didn't you ever think of maybe getting married, having kids of your own- you know settling down?"

She pulls away and her eyes drop to her lap.

" Aunt Karen ?" Something is wrong.

" I was pregnant once." My heart stops for a minute. " I was so young and didn't know better. But I knew that I would try take care of him or her, unfortunately I lost the baby."

I gasp, my eyes wide and my chest pains for her.

" I'm sorry aunt Karen. You must have gone through alot and at times, you must think about your baby right?"

" I've healed from that loss now."

" And you agreed to give birth to me, for your own sister, even after the loss. Many wouldn't be able to do it but you did. You are a remarkable woman aunt Karen and my mom and dad, they are greatful for that. I am too."

She looks at me with watery eyes.

" But what made you agree to do this?...... I've never really asked and now after you told me, what happened to you. I'm curious to know."

" For my sister's happiness. She wanted a baby so desperately. It felt like the most natural decision I guess."

I nod, accepting her answer.

" Hazel." She takes my hands. " I want you to know that I have no regrets to giving birth to you. You are my lucky charm, my blessing and to me, you are like my daughter."

She pulls me in for a hug, her hand caressing my hair. " To me, you are the most important, my precious gift from God and I will never let anyone or anything, try hurt you or take you away from me. They would have to kill me first." I tense up when I hear her say this.

" Aunt Karen, don't say stuff like that. You're scaring me." I say, pulling back.

" I'm sorry." She says, kissing my hands. " I just want you to know how much I love you."

" I know you do. Now, can we talk about something else, something less serious and sentimental?" I say, teasing her.

She nods and I relax.

"So you moved in with Roman?" She asks, looking around.

"Uh, yeah."

" But you could have told me you know, you would have been staying with me instead."

" No it's okay, I wouldn't expect you to just pack up and move down here. Besides, I'm almost done with school. "

" But still, I would rather you stay with me - maybe you can after Winterbreak."

" W-what?" Is she serious?

" I want you to come stay with me Hazel. I think it's the most logical thing. I mean Roman might have a girlfriend -"

" He doesn't have a girlfriend." I say so strongly that it surprises the both of us.

"What if he had one and wanted to bring her here or, wanted to throw a party. What then?"

" I would never stand in Roman's way." I jump of the couch, feeling a little upset over this conversation.

She sighs." Hazel - ," her cellphone rings, cutting her off.

I watch her take it out and look at the screen, but she doesn't answer.

" I should go." She sighs, getting up.

I don't say anything but stare at her.

" Don't be mad at me Hazel. I'm just pointing out things you need to consider, if you were to stay here a little longer. You can't hold him back."

My lips part in shock. 'How can she say something like that to me or even think it?

" I should go." She repeats, coming closer to probably give me a hug but I take a step back.

She sighs. " I'll see you and we can have this conversation again."

No, I don't think so.

" I love you." She says before leaving.

Sometimes I don't understand aunt Karen, especially when she gets like this.

I shake my head and try push back thoughts of what just happened. Looking at the coffee table, that still has my food displayed on it, I take my cup of tea and head to the kitchen, deciding to make another.

Roman is still not back and him not letting me know whether he's coming back soon or not, it's making me worry. He should have just left a note.

I hear the door opening and closing, I sigh in relief knowing he's back.

Maybe now he can tell me where he had gone.

I leave what I was just doing and go on to meet Roman, only to stop in my tracks by the kitchen doorway when I see the troubled look on his face.

"Hey."

He doesn't say anything but takes a seat on the couch.

Please dont tell me that he's in yet another mood.

" I was just about to make you something to eat."

" I'm not hungry." He mumbles, cutting me off.

He takes the remote control and switches on the tv, starting to flick on channels.

Okay, he's definetly in a mood. But what could have been the cause now?

" I woke up and you weren't here."

" I had somewhere to be."

" You could have left a note, telling me that."

" I forgot." He almost bites out the words, his tone letting me know that he is irritated, bothered or just both.

I bite at my lip, refraining from asking what the problem is.

I've suddenly lost my appetite.

Not wanting the sudden tension in the room to be a big downer to my mood, I leave him alone, mumbling a ' goodnight' as I head up to my room.

And guess what, he didn't even say anything back.

I lock my door and get in under the covers, laying staring up at the ceiling. I think about my day today. I had quite a number of conversations one can spend time thinking over. Beverley, Colton and Mr O'Connor, in their own way wanted a start over. I can't believe all this happened in one day.

The talk with Beverley made me understand that admitting that she was wrong and seeing that, can be quite hard for her. To even come and apologise, that was big of her and to understand that she, making that first move, would make all the difference, it made me listen to her.

As for Colton, I don't believe he is a bad guy. He just happened to not be as nice to me. Talking about Roman and to receive that kind of information about him, to learn of what he'd been through, it makes me want to be there for him more. I missed out on parts of his life that he can't get back.

Roman's dad on the other hand was full of remorse. To learn that he knew of me when I was small, was quite surprising. Yet what he proposed, took me aback that's for sure.

He wants to help me.

Speaking of help, aunt Karen thought she was helping with the suggestion to move in with her. I thought her little difference with Roman was over already, but I get the sense that it's still there. Deep down it still is.

I learnt devasting news too, her losing her baby when she was younger. I can't imagine the pain she had to go through, not to mention the amount of strength and willingness to be the surrogate mother, for her sister. She really is a strong and selfless woman.

Her reaction to me going to therapy was both a little strange and shocking. I would think any family member or parent , would be relieved to know that their child is going to therapy. Why would she think someone was forcing me and even claim that I am not crazy?

That was weird and it doesn't make any sense.

I can't believe that I am letting myself even consider what she suggested. Me moving in with her. I mean what if one day, Roman does have a girlfriend unexpectedly, because you never know how things can change in a day, week or month.

What if that were to happen?..

Wouldn't I be in the way?

The light knock on my door interrupts my thoughts. I look at it but make no move out of my bed.

This time something holds me back from getting off my bed and opening the door for him. I can't let him in tonight and I can't see him. I don't know why but I can't.

I roll over and turn my back to the door. He knocks two more times before it all goes silent.

And then, I close my eyes.

**********************************

Wonder what could have put Roman into a mood again?

He seems to be moody these days.

And aunt Karen.......Hmm?😑😑😑😑