Brace yourself because this is sort of a long, tragic chapter.

Keep Calm And Go Into The Woods

Chapter 7

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May 30, 1990- Wednesday

I did something awful and Jason's never going to forgive me.

On Thursday, I dreaded how long the school day loitered because I wanted to prove to Father that I'm capable of leading the pack and after the search that night, he might have a little more faith in me.

Before I went to sleep on Tuesday, I asked Mother for a refill of the pills the doctor gave me to suppress my "other side." When she gave me the case I asked, "Why are the pills blue? They've always been yellow."

"Well because of your little outburst about a week ago, your doctor provided me one that will decrease the likelihood of history repeating," Mother explained.

"I hope this helps during the full moon. Thanks." With that, I rushed to my room and took one of the pills and fell into a dreamless sleep.

For the entire week, I felt myself snapping at more people than I usually do and getting frustrated easily. I guessed that is was the coming of the full moon that shifted my attitude to the people around me. I also got the same daydream of a girl shrieking in agony about ten times a day.

When the time came for me to join the group of people that were also searching tonight, I quickly walked to my room and grabbed the bottle of blue pills. I popped in two pills instead of one so I can be steadier tonight. I felt a surge of energy run through my veins and shrugged it off as the medicine working like it should.

I was about to head out when my phone vibrated on my nightstand. I sighed and walked over to see that Jason was calling. I immediately picked up and heard Jason shaking and repeating that his little sister had been kidnapped and he was distraught and afraid. All I want to do was be there for him but then Father mind-linked me saying that everyone was waiting for me. I reassured Jason and informed him that I was going to be there.

Turns out I got my hopes up too much because the entire night was boring. There were about sixty of us out there in the woods and we were spread out into groups of fifteen. I rushed to complete my sections so I could go to Jason but, Father kept assigning me other areas. Two hours later, Father and I were the only ones still outside searching. 

At that point, I was extremely irritated and complained through the mind-link, "Father, I told you, Jason needs me and you are making me go over areas we covered already."

"As an Alpha, you are always the last inside and you search everywhere in case someone missed anything," he stated. I groaned and he gave in. "Okay Nina, just check the south-east region and then you may go. I'll be inside and don't take too long."

I groaned again but followed his instructions. As I searched deeper into the woods, I heard a vague cry. I walk towards the sound and as it became louder, I felt myself becoming anxious and angry. When I feel that I'm about to shift to my other side, I think of anything that makes me gleeful or calm. It used to be food and water but now it's Jason. Jason's smile, laugh, and touch was what I focused on but it didn't help.

I had fully shifted and there was a helpless toddler tied to a tree in front of me. Jason's sister.

The next thing I remember was a bloody body beneath me and my hands soaked in the same blood. I was petrified at the sight and froze for a split moment before falling to my knees and sobbing. I glanced at the shredded body and thought of how distressed Jason would be when he found out what I had done.

"You horrid monster!" I scolded myself. "What have you done!"

"Nina?" I heard Jason say softly.

"Jason?" I replied and looked around me.

"Oh my! Nina what did you do!" Jason's voice boomed in my head.

"I'm sorry!" I sobbed. "I didn't do it. I didn't mean to do it. I'm so, so, so, so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I cried into my hands. When I didn't hear anything, I looked around and saw that I was alone. I looked back at the dead child and whispered, "What have I done?"

"Nina?" Father asked which made me jump. I turned around and saw Father, Mother, Ottis, Arcturus ghastly staring at me.

"It's all in my head. It's all in my head. It's all in my head," I repeated.

"Nina, did you kill that child?" Mother asked.

I glanced down at my hands that were stained maroon and then at the motionless body behind me. I focused my attention back to my parents and answered, "I snapped. I didn't do it. I would never kill my mate's sister. You have to believe me, Mother. I didn't do it," I cried.

She ran to me and held me as I cried into her shoulders. "I know you didn't do it, honey, now let's get you cleaned up."

"What about-"

"Your father and brothers will take care of that," Mother answered.

I followed her into the pack house where we received curious looks but ignored them and headed up to my room that I don't let anyone go into. Mother looked at me and instructed, "Don't tell anyone about what happened tonight. If anyone asks, you fought an aggressive rogue that trespassed into the pack."

I nodded my head in agreement. Mother turned around and I shut the door leaving a bloody imprint on it. I walked to my bathroom and stared at my reflection. My eyes were red from crying, my face, hair, hands, and clothes were red from the blood. I looked like a monster. I was a monster. 

After crying on the floor for an extra thirty minutes, I stepped into the bath, soaked my body in the warm water and cried for another hour. I stepped out of the bath when I realized that my skin had transformed to the look of a prune. I sunk into my bed, placed my head on my flat pillow and grabbed my phone. I flipped it open to see Jason's five voice messages in my voicebank.

I pressed the center button to listen to the first one. "Nina, where are you? It's been thirty minutes since you told me that you were coming. I know you live in the woods and it's a little far but please hurry."

I let out an unsteady breath and listened to the second message. "One hour. It's been one hour and she's still lost. The entire neighborhood is searching for her and I'm very worried. Where are you, Nina? I need you right now."

Tears slipped out of my eyes and slid down to my ears. I pushed the button again to hear the third message. "I tried to be patient but it's been two hours. Two hours Nina. Where are you? You haven't replied to any of my calls. Do you even care?"

"I do Jason," I answered as if he could hear me. I sighed and listened to the fourth message. "They found her Nina. After three hours, but she's dead. My sister's dead. My parents are torn and the neighborhood is very noisy. With the sirens, crying, and chatter, I can't possibly wrap my head around the fact that I lost my sister. I don't recognize her that much. She's covered in claw marks but I recognize her brown, curly hair and purple neon shoes."

"I'm sorry Jason. I'm so sorry," I said as I stared at the phone. I finally got the courage to listened to the last message. "I got cut off but they said she wandered off and got clawed out by some vicious animal. I don't believe them. I bet people would notice a five-year-old wandering in the middle of the night. It doesn't matter. The point is that she's dead and you never came. I really needed you and you never showed up. If you're coming, just turn around because I don't think I care if you come or not anymore."

I cried even more until I felt my eyes begin to shut. 

"You horrid monster!" Jason screamed at me. "What have you done!"

"Jason," I began to say.

"Oh my! Nina what did you do!" Jason's voice boomed in my head.

"I'm sorry!" I sobbed. "I didn't do it. I didn't mean to do it. I'm so, so, so, so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I cried into my hands. 

Jason held his dead sister in his arms and asked me with hatred in his eyes, "What have you done?"

I woke up from my nightmare and stare at the ceiling of my room. My eyes burned from the tears my body was shaking against the bed. I slowly closed my eyes and cried myself back to sleep.

~N

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I cried as I wrote this chapter. Who else cried?

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