Eliza

2007, Tenille's Thirteenth Birthday Party, Whistler, BC

"Okay," I say, putting the cake down in front of Tenille. "It's time to sing 'Happy Birthday' to the birthday girl!"

This year, for her thirteenth birthday, Tenille's party has a gold-and-pink theme: there are light-pink streamers hanging from the ceiling; gold balloons floating and rolling around on the floor; the cake even matches with its pink-lemonade flavour and gold sprinkles. It's a fancy party – something I'd never do myself – but I like it. It's simplistic, but also elegant.

Tenille groans, covering up her face as her mom walks in holding a camera. "Mom," she whines. "We don't need photos – we're not five anymore."

Leon, who is standing opposite to me, frowns. "Yes, we do, Ten. We need photos or else we're not going to be able to remember what this day was like."

"Thank you, Leon," Mrs. West says, shooting her daughter a lighthearted glare. "Now, everyone smile!"

Tenille, although she does roll her eyes, smiles and tugs me and Leon down so we each have a cheek pressing against hers. We look up at the camera, the glow of thirteen candles lighting up our faces, and make goofy faces. The flash goes off once, twice. For the third one, we change our faces back to normal smiles just to please Mrs. West.

Around us, the rest of our friends begin to sing happy birthday. Leon's also singing, a big smile on his face as he belts out the lyrics. Tenille and I exchange a glance. If there's one thing we hate, it is people singing this overrated song. I don't think there's anything more awkward than sitting in a crowded room with a birthday cake in front of you while people sing to you. Every time it happens to me, I feel like I should be doing something – maybe even singing along – but I'm too unsure of myself to make a decision. I also don't know what to do with my hands or where to look. I feel for Tenille right now.

When the song is over and Tenille has blown out the candles, the cake is sliced and served by Mrs. West. There are eight of us at the table: me, Tenille, Leon, Aaden, Nadia, Paden, Gabbie, and Talbot. The cake is delicious – moist with a little bit of acid to cut the sweetness – but I can only have a few bites before my stomach begins to feel sick. I've never been a big fan of sweets. So, while everyone is devouring their slices of cake, I push mine around with the fork. I want to eat the cake so I don't offend Mrs. West for putting in all this hard work, but I can't force myself to do it.

To my left, Leon nudges me. I look at him and begin to giggle. There's a smudge of icing on the corner of his mouth and his hair is extremely untidy, making him look like a bit of a clown. He gestures to my cake. "Are you gonna eat that?"

I shake my head. "I really like it, but the icing is too sweet for me. The only thing I can eat without getting a stomach ache are those cookies Mrs. West always makes." I pause, glancing down at Leon's empty plate. "Do you want it?"

"Sure," he shrugs.

I push the plate toward him and watch as he takes a huge bite of cake, icing, and gold sprinkles. With his untidy hair, his mouth full, and the smudge still present on his face, he looks a little crazy.

"Quit staring at me," he says through a mouthful. "It feels like you're judging me."

"I'm not judging you," I argue.

Leon scoops the last couple of bites up and stuffs his mouth full. After that, he picks up the plate and begins to lick it.

I raise my eyebrows.

"What?" he asks. "I don't want to waste any of Mrs. West's delicious food."

I slouch in my seat a little and laugh. "Whatever you say, Leon."

After we're finished with the cake and the plates have been discarded, we all head to the living room. I sit in front of the fireplace to warm up, thankful that someone has been stoking the fire. It's January and despite the warmth of the house, I'm still a little cold. Leon sits down beside me, bumping his shoulder against mine. "You're always cold," he teases.

I bump him back. "Shut up, Leon. It's winter. I'm allowed to be cold."

"I never said you weren't," he grins.

Whatever conversations are going on around us, I'm unaware of them. I'm too focused on Leon to care about anyone else. It's kind of selfish of me to do when Tenille is the birthday girl, but I can't help it. Since the beginning, it's been me and Leon. For some reason, I have to touch him. I have to be close to him. I know I'm too young to think about having a boyfriend or falling in love – my mom said so. I still reach out and tap his chin, though, admiring the heat and softness of his skin. As I do this, Mom's words echo in my head and I feel a little guilty, but I push those words away. Mom and Dad haven't been getting along lately and they've been neglecting me. So, screw whatever they have to say.

"You have some icing on your chin," I tease.

Something flickers in his eyes. "No, I don't."

A grin splits my face. "Fine. You got me – your face is clean."

"Oi!"

Leon and I both look over at Paden. He's a red-haired kid with pale, freckled skin. He moved here from Scotland a couple of years ago and I'm still not used to his funny vocabulary and accent.

"What?" Leon asks.

"We want to play Truth or Dare," Gabbie replies. "Are you two in?" She tosses her black hair over her shoulder and leans forward, resting her chin on her fist as she waits for a reply.

Leon and I exchange a glance as nervousness spikes in the depths of my stomach. I've never played Truth or Dare before and I've heard some bad things about it.

"We don't have to," Leon whispers. "We can watch."

I glance around the crowd. I know my friends would never try to peer pressure me into doing something, but I don't want to disappoint them by ruining the fun. "Sure," I reply, pushing my anxiety away. "We'll play – it sounds like fun."

"Awesome," Tenille smiles "I'll go first."

The first half-hour of the game goes by at a decent pace. Stupid, meaningless questions are asked and, after embarrassing hesitation, are answered. As for dares, it's pretty much light and breezy fun stuff people get dared to do. Leon is dared to talk in a British accent for the next three rounds. Aaden has to eat a spoonful of ketchup. Nadia has to let the person on her left draw on her face with a washable marker. Gabbie spins an imaginary hula hoop around her waist for three minutes while singing a song I've never heard. Paden has to open a bag of Swedish Berries with nothing but his teeth. Finally, Talbot has to let Tenille put makeup on him.

"Eliza and Tenille still haven't been dared to do anything," Aaden points out.

Talbot glances at me and then Tenille, his gaudy makeup sparkling under the dim lighting. "I guess it's my turn, eh?"

I swallow thickly. While I'm quite social and can handle large crowds, I don't like the spotlight being on me when there's a chance I'll be making a fool out of myself. As I'm staring at Talbot, I feel Leon's hand wrap around mine. I glance at him and he shoots me a reassuring smile.

For several seconds, Talbot thinks about who he's going to dare next. "I'm going to choose Eliza," he finally says, turning to me.

"Okay," I reply.

Tapping his chin, Talbot grins at me and says, "Eliza, I dare you to kiss Leon."

I blink, gaping at Talbot. "But...But Leon is my best friend. I can't kiss my best friend."

"Liz," Leon murmurs. "It's just a dare."

Biting my lip, I take his words into account. Really, he has a point. It's not like the kiss means anything, right? We're just doing a dare so we don't have to go outside and roll in the snow for being too chicken. Kissing him would be the logical thing to do. But if it is, then why do I keep questioning it? Why does it feel different with Leon?

He gives me a lopsided smile and leans forward, leaving enough space between our faces for me to make the final decision. My heart begins to beat rapidly against my chest. I don't know if I can do this – even if it is just a dare. A kiss is still a kiss.

"Come on," Nadia whines. "Let's get this over with. I want to watch a movie."

"Shut up, Nadia," Tenille says.

Ignoring them, I take a deep breath and quickly press my lips to Leon. I mean for it to be a simple peck on the lips, but as soon as I feel his lips against mine, I freeze in place. I don't know what I was expecting. I do know, though, that I wasn't expecting his lips to be so soft and warm. But what really sets me off is that Leon is kissing me back as if he wanted this to happen. As if he was looking forward to it.

Before things can escalate, I pull back.

For a moment, Leon looks dazed and confused. My cheeks begin to burn as I look down at my hands. I've never kissed anyone before and I think Leon is realizing just how terrible of a kisser I am. I briefly close my eyes, internally groaning. He must wish that we never had to do this stupid dare. Maybe I should have declined the dare and gone outside to roll in the snow instead.

"I, um," Leon says, standing up. "I'm going to get some water."

While the rest of the group shrugs off his statement, I question it. I'm worried that I upset him. Or worse, disappointed him. I touch my fingers to my lips as I stare after him. He exits the living room, pausing when he reaches the entrance to the kitchen. He glances over his shoulder at me, and when I meet his gaze, I see millions of emotions in his eyes.

I press the tips of my fingers harder against my lips, butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

Everything is always so different with Leon and I think I'm beginning to understand why.