I want to address something that's been weighing on my mind for a while.

You guys are all so perfect. And a lot of you have told me that I'm like that too.

But I swear I'm not.

I am sad and I am lonely, I'm a cracked, flawed vessel. I am the girl that wears a mask that you can't see through.

But I promise you: you are absolutely freaking perfect, and know that at least one person in this world realizes it, even if you don't.

x

____ nico di angelo _____

you were my moon, my sun, my stars. your arms around you made me feel like i was home... and i'm homesick now.

CRACKED PICTURE FRAMES littered his apartment in New Rome. Shattered remnants of what once was and what could've been, permeating his memory, branded onto his heart.

Hazel clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Nico, you loved her and she loved you. You were engaged to be married, for goodness' sake! She was practically Mrs. Nico di Angelo already!" She met his gaze - fragile, held together with the thinnest of threads - and she visibly softened. "What went wrong?"

A bitter laugh poured out of him, despair and anger flowing out of him in thin threads and moulding into something so dark that he simply had to laugh, laugh helplessly and hopelessly.

"There was always something wrong with our relationship, Haze. From the start, something was so fundamentally off. I tried, Hazel. I tried to fix it. But in the end, I just - I couldn't."

The carefully built walls that he had created around his heart threatened to come crashing down. 

He stood, abruptly, and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Hazel called out from behind him.

Away from myself.

He turned, at the door, and looked back.

Looked back into this home that he had never called home. Looked into this home that had been witness to a broken boy fleeing from the heart he had broken.

He turned, and gave Hazel an impossibly sad, sad smile that nearly broke Hazel's heart 

"Do you want to know what was wrong with us, Hazel?"

Before he slipped out, as sad and silent as a shadow itself, a ghost of a whisper crossed the room:

"It was me."

___

"NICO!" A voice cut him out of his reverie. The possessor of the voice walked up next to him, purple cape whipping in the wind, with her ever-present dogs at her sides.

"I need your help."

He gave her a look. "If it's helping clean the unicorn stables again, I'm not going to do it. Next time, send Percy. He has expertise in that sort of thing."

Her eyes regarded him wearily. "No, it's not that. It's a matter of more... serious import."

"What is it then, Reyna?" He tried not to sound so exasperated, but these days, the slightest things were fraying on his patience, grinding down on him.

"It's... Camp Half-Blood."

He waited, breath taut, as she gathered her composure.

"They're under attack."

At those words, he was falling, falling through darkness of doubt and dread. He managed to croak out, "How?"

The stern countenance of her face softened, almost imperceptibly. "It seems that Gaea kept a reserve force of monsters, led by Echidna. Now that she is dead, the demigods are weakened, and so Echidna has lead the monsters to Camp Half-Blood. They have had advance warning; the demigods are preparing. But..."

"But what?" Nico prompted her.

"Percy suspects that there is a spy inside the camp." Reyna finally said.

And in his mind's eye, Nico could see it. He could see a horde of monsters desecrating Camp Half-Blood and devouring everyone in it, he could see the campers trying to fight back but being hopelessly overwhelmed.

"What do we need to do?" he demanded, almost harshly.

She met his gaze steadily. "I am sending you and the Fifth Cohort over. I cannot send any more, in case there are monsters attacking here, at Camp Jupiter. Even this will be a strain on our resources."

"Fine. I'll shadow-travel there, then, and then your cohort can come after."

He turned to leave, but Reyna caught his arm. "Nico..."

"What?"

"Be careful." The careful mask that the praetor normally wore was gone, leaving her with an odd look of vulnerability. Despite everything, he still thought of her as an older sister. Still, seeing her so worried about his safety... it was still foreign to him, to have people that actually cared about him and his well-being.

"I will."

He turned away and melted into the shadows.

____

THERE WAS ONCE a time when he would've been glad to see Y/N, Hades, there was a time when he would've been downright ecstatic.

But now he felt the familiar squeezing of dread as he popped out of the shadows and bumped straight into her.

Something was different about her. Her hair was still beautiful and lustrous, her E/C eyes were still the same. Yet something was off about her. Maybe it was the set of her shoulders, the way she seemed to be carrying the world on her shoulders. Maybe it was the fact that her eyes were closed off, her face cold and expressionless. Maybe, just maybe, it was because she'd put her heart away to somewhere where no one could break it ever again.

____ y/n l/n____

it took an eternity of foolish words and bad decisions, but finally, i could pretend that i stopped loving you.

YOUR HEART STUTTERED and slowed to halt at the sight of him. Your brain screamed at you to run, to move, to do something, anything, but you were frozen to the ground at the sight of him.

Don't do this, your mind scolded yourself. Don't be that weepy, clingy ex who has no backbone of her own.

You squared her shoulders. "Nico, hello. How are you?"

His cheeks flushed just the lightest tinge of pink. "I - I'm okay, I guess. I'm back here because of Echidna; Reyna sent - she sent me to help. I - erm, the Fifth Cohort's coming soon behind me."

"That's great. Thanks for coming, I guess."

"Wouldn't miss it." He rocked forwards and backwards on the balls of his feet; finally, you decided to put him out of his misery.

"I've got to go help with the war preparations, but I'll see you later?"

He nodded, once, solemnly. 

You let yourself say the most truthful words you've said since the beginning of the conversation.

"I've missed you, Nico."

You took off running, sprinting as fast as you could until your lungs were aching and your legs were burning and you were away from him, because you thought maybe if you ran fast enough, you could escape your thoughts.Maybe if you ran fast enough, you could hide the truth to yourself:

You still loved him.

___

HONESTLY, YOU WEREN'T sure how you'd gotten to this point. 

You wanted to cry and scream and kick and generally behave in the manner of an arrogant toddler, but you reminded yourself that you were stronger than this. You were a demigod, daughter of G/P. You had been part of the Prophecy of Eight (shhh I changed it, don't tell anyone), you were strong.

Nonetheless, it was a struggle to keep your voice level as you faced the angry son of Hades. 

"Maybe," he snarled, clearly infuriated, "maybe I wasn't good enough for you, Y/N! Maybe I thought you could do better than me! Maybe I was just trying to do what was right and what was best for you!"

You voice, by contrast, was ice-cold. "And maybe, Nico, maybe I wanted to make the decision for myself. I can decide who I love, Nico - " You broke off. "This is a child's argument, Nico. I cannot believe that this is what we're arguing about right now - we can talk about this later."

Grabbing you W/O/C, you left the Big House, leaving all the stunned councilors behind.

You'd been asked there because you had a good overview of everything that had been going on in preparation, and thus, that information was crucial to battle.

But as you left, you realized that there was one destination left in your mind.

You grabbed a plastic baggie of ambrosia that you kept in you backpack, just in case. Squeezing the grip of your familiar W/O/C, you were filled with a sense of purpose and refilled determination.

"Y/N! Y/N!" Clarissa, an adorable three-year-old daughter of Apollo, ran up to you. You had taken the girl under your wing, and she loved you. "Where are you going, Y/N?"

You bent down to her and ruffled her hair. "I'm gonna go make all the bad monsters go away, Clary."

She frowned. "Shouldn't you take Mis-ter Nico with you, then, Y/N? He's gonna be real scared if he can't find you."

Your heart hurt, remembering all those times you and Nico had gone out hunting together. "No, Clary. I gotta do this one alone. But hey, you wanna help me?"

Her eyes lit up and she nodded vigorously. 

"Don't tell anyone where I'm going, 'kay? This has to be a sneaky mission." You held a finger up to your lips. "Shhh."

"Shhh." she repeated, then giggled. Caught by a new thought, she tugged the hem of your orange t-shirt. "When are you gonna be back?"

"Soon as I can, I promise."

"Mkay!" She started to dance away.

"Wait! Clary!" you called out.

She turned, tilting her head to the side inquisitively. 

The words came out of you in a rush. "I love you, okay?"

She grinned, her chubby face lighting up in joy. "I love you too, N/N!"

You chuckled a little bit. Ruffling her hair, you said, "You'd better get going, kiddo. Don't want the harpies to get ya!" You tickled her sides, which made her squeal with laughter. 

She ran off, calling behind her, "See you later, Y/N!"

"See you later..." you whispered to the setting sun and the tiny, radiant figure that ran underneath it. 

Okay. This will be completed soon. This is gonna be a two-parter, so there's that.

Oh my goodness, I haven't updated in such a long time, I swear!

I'm sorry.

Anyways, love you all, hope you forgive me. 

Oh gosh I just read this over again and it sucks, forgive me.

OK. So, I was thinking of actually starting a full-blown fanfic. What do you guys think? I have the plot for it, here's what would be the synopsis/general details:

Title: Once Upon A Time (no this is not a crossover)

Synopsis:

ONCE UPON A TIME an angel fell in love with a demon,

ONCE UPON A TIME an angel fell from heaven for his sister.

ONCE UPON A TIME a siren refused to sing,

ONCE UPON A TIME  a boy wanted a voice of his own.

ONCE UPON A TIME a girl was brought back from the dead,

ONCE UPON A TIME a boy was inches away from it.

ONCE UPON A TIME a boy was forced to break his own heart,

ONCE UPON A TIME a girl shut hers away. 

once upon a time the one thing that was distant as the stars was a happy ending.

____

Yay or Nay?

Please comment, if would mean a LOT!

xx

Cali