New York City, New York

1867

One, two, three, four...

Nora was brushing through her long, thick hair as she sat at her dressing table. She thought that perhaps if her mind was preoccupied with the counting of the strokes, she could push the worries of Felix from her head.

However, it seemed that her brain was extraordinarily proficient at multitasking.

Eleven, twelve, thirteen...

The image of Felix sitting across the table from her at dinner kept flashing through Nora's mind. Her mother had asked the poor man question after question, and he had answered each one in good grace. There was no way that he would agree to spend an entire week here...was there?

Eighteen, nineteen, twenty...

A little thrill coursed through her at the thought of getting to see Felix on Christmas—of getting to spend her favorite day with her favorite person. Maybe if Felix stayed the week, Nora would actually get a chance to talk to him without her mother lurking around.

Twenty-six, twenty-seven...

She knew they needed to speak to each other. The last time Nora had seen Felix before today, she had barely been wearing any clothes, clad only in her thin chemise. She grew heated just thinking about it.

Nora had been in her bedchamber at her aunt and uncle's home in Hertford, hiding from the dinner party downstairs. She just hadn't been able to eat the damn soup anymore, not with the way that her eyes kept catching on Felix's.

If she was honest with herself, Nora knew she had panicked. Because it was at that moment, as she was sipping soup from her spoon, that Nora had realized that she loved him. Felix Graham.

The whole summer, her heart had been tugging her toward him, and then with one look at dinner, it stopped altogether. Beneath the devilish facade, Felix was the most caring and thoughtful person she had ever met. The hours they had spent together every day flashed by in a minute, and now Nora knew why.

She had tried to run away from it all, but Felix merely followed her, walking into the bedchamber as she'd been trying to pry that blasted dress off so she could breathe. All of the servants had been busy attending to dinner, and Nora hadn't wished to cause any more commotion than she already had. So without another immediate option, Nora had allowed Felix to unlace her dress...and then her stays.

She'd just wanted to take a deep breath.

Forty-five...

And then, in her fluster at being so close to him, Nora's undone clothes had fallen to the ground, forgotten.

Felix's gaze had turned dark then. She'd known the look, seen it on his face once or twice before in previous summers when he'd flirted with other women. But Nora couldn't be like those other women, who Felix would kiss and forget about.

So when he'd leaned in toward her that night, when he'd cupped her face in his hand, when he'd been about to brush his lips against hers, Nora ran again. And this time, she didn't stop...until reaching the shores of America.

Forty-one, forty-two, forty-three...

Cooper barked abruptly, causing Nora to drop her brush behind her. She swiveled to look for where it fell to.

"Cooper! You made me lose count," she scolded in the dog's general direction before bending to pick up her lost item.

Once she had retrieved it, Nora sat up. And screamed. "My lord!"

Felix was standing in the open doorway of her room, leaning against the wooden frame of it. The expression hovering on his face was giving her deja vu. Felix Graham, at her door. Her, dressed only in her chemise.

Similar to that night, Felix didn't wait for an invitation. He barged into the room, disregarding all the rules—all the forms of etiquette that Nora hated. He was holding a package, which he set down on a chair near the door before facing her.

"Why are you calling me that?" he asked, his eyes smoldering. His brows were furrowed slightly on his handsome face, and his usually neat hair was in disarray. He had dispensed of his waistcoat and cravat somewhere along the way, so now he was only wearing his white muslin shirt, open at the collar.

Nora hastened to straighten herself and crossed her hands around her waist as if to hide from him. She walked forward, stopping halfway between her dressing table and the door. "Sorry, it just carried over from dinner. I was trying so hard not to be informal in front of my parents."

His brows drew together further. "We speak informally in front of my parents."

"Yes, well, your parents understand."

"Understand what?"

"Us," Nora said, gesturing between them. "I wouldn't wish for my mother to get the wrong idea."

"Oh, I think she got the wrong idea," he said, stepping closer to her.

"You do?" Nora squeaked out. For goodness sake, she had never before made such an atrocious sound in her life. But Felix didn't seem to notice or care.

"Oh, yes. I think your mother got the idea that we are mere companions. And I certainly do not wish for that to be true."

Nora felt her eyes grow wide, and she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Felix smirked a little at her expression, taking another step closer to her. Nora took a step back instinctively, so Felix stepped forward once more, but this time grabbed her wrist in the process, staying her movements.

"Your friend Mr. Rockwell says I need to be clearer, so I will do so," he said, his voice gravelly.

They were mere inches apart now, and Nora couldn't breathe. She hadn't been able to breathe that night in England, and she couldn't do it now. Luckily, listening to Felix's silky words required no breath.

"If you haven't figured it out in my many letters, Nora, I don't want to be your friend any longer. I want more."

"More?" Nora breathed.

"I don't want summers," Felix said, wrapping his other arm around her waist, tugging her slowly, gently, into him. Her front pressed against his hard chest.

"I take it you want winters, too? Since you are here and all," Nora said, glancing up at him. His eyes danced with mirth.

"Yes to winters," Felix said, chuckling. He lowered his head closer to her, and the mere virility of him and his proximity made Nora weak. "And all the other seasons, including those days where you can't quite tell what time of year it is. You know, when the weather fades to something new. I want it all, Nora."

"All?" Nora repeated, breathless. She knew she kept repeating him, but her own words were stuck in her throat. Nora was entranced by him, the way his eyes shone brightly in the lowly lit room. She still couldn't believe he was here, in her bedchamber in New York.

"Yes, all," Felix whispered across her mouth. "Are you going to run from me again?" 

"No." Nora whimpered the little word. She couldn't move even if she wanted to.

"Good. Because I want you, Nora. I want you forever."

"Forever is a long time," Nora muttered, not even thinking about the words she was saying before they came out of her mouth. Her lips hovered over his, and all she could think about is how they would feel pressed together.

"Not long enough," Felix breathed, and taking away Nora's dilemma, closed the distance between them in one fell swoop. He crushed his lips to hers, and Nora gasped, opening for him, readily kissing him back. His tongue stroked hers, and she groaned at the silky feeling. Nora might have fallen if it wasn't for Felix's strong arm around her waist, holding her to him tightly.

"Marry me," he gasped between kisses.

Nora heard the words, but they didn't register in her brain, which was far too preoccupied with the things Felix was doing with his mouth, his lips beginning to trail down her neck.

"I've wanted to kiss you since the moment you got into the carriage this summer," Felix murmured against her skin. "I don't know why I never realized it before, Nora."

"I felt the same," she admitted before Felix captured her mouth with his again. She groaned, and it vibrated between their lips.

Suddenly, Felix broke away and clutched Nora's face between his warm hands.

"Christ, you're beautiful," he said, his eyes roaming her face. "I fell so goddamn in love with you this summer. Or maybe I've always been in love with you—I honestly don't know. I don't know anything anymore, Nora. It's crazy madness that I'm here in New York, but that's the way I feel about you."

Something was happening to Nora's heart. She could feel it beating wildly, ready to burst at the seams from the words that Felix was passionately whispering. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off.

"Marry me, Nora."

He had said it twice now, she realized. Felix Graham had asked her to marry him twice. Nora supposed that warranted a response, but she had to ask her questions.

"Shouldn't you be marrying some debutante with a title behind her name and dowry? Shouldn't the nephew of the queen be looking for more than an American girl."

"No," Felix said succinctly. "I absolutely shouldn't be. I don't care about any of that, and neither do my parents or my aunt. They wanted me to come find you."

"Really?"

"Really. Now, will you marry me?"

Nora managed to nod before breathing excitedly, "Yes."

A huge grin spread across Felix's face, and he abruptly picked her up off the ground, swinging her legs into his arms. Nora let out a little scream of surprise, but he quickly covered his mouth over hers to match it.

"Shh," he reminded her.

Felix kissed her as he set her down atop her bed, his mouth traveling up her jawline to nip at her ear. His breath was hot, sending shivers across her skin, her hair standing on end. Felix's hands smoothed the gooseflesh as they slipped beneath the edge of her chemise and moved slowly up her legs.

"Felix," she sighed. Nora hadn't even realized she said his name until he whispered a reply in her ear.

"Yes, dear?"

"I love you," she confessed.

Nora heard Felix's intake of breath at her words and knew that even though she spoke quietly, he heard her. She continued, saying, "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you—"

"Later," Felix cut her off before stealing her lips again, kissing her with no regard for tenderness; he was taking her, taking all of her.

Nora promptly wrapped her arms around Felix, tugging him closer to her, so that it was almost as though they were one. His hands were suddenly everywhere: in her hair, gripping her hips, pushing her chemise up and out of the way. She mimicked his movements, wanting to touch him as well. Nora grabbed at his shirt, slipping her fingers between the buttons and listening as she heard them pop off. Felix groaned when her hand spread itself against his bare chest.

"You don't know how much I wanted to rip this thing off you that night," Nora heard Felix mumble as he undid the small tie that was holding her bodice together.

"I do," Nora said, gasping as he nipped at her collarbone. "That's why I ran."

Felix instantly paused, pulling back to look at her sharply.

"What?"

Nora hesitated, still breathing heavily. It took a moment for her brain to catch up with her racing heart.

"I thought you were just looking for one night in the sheets, and I knew if that happened..." She trailed off, unsure of how to relay what she wished to say. "I knew if that happened, I never would have recovered. Because I knew I loved you, Felix."

Felix leaned back on his haunches, running his hand through his hair. His chest rose and fell heavily. "I would never have treated you that way, Nora." The hurt was evident in his eyes. "I would never ruin an innocent woman and then leave them."

She shook her head. "I know, and I'm sorry. I was just...I was just scared, Felix. Scared of my feelings for you. I did not think we could be together."

"Don't be scared, darling." Felix leaned toward her again to run his fingers through her long, unbound hair.

Nora pushed herself up, facing Felix. "I'm not anymore," Nora said, her confidence growing with every look Felix passed her. She gripped both of her hands on the hem of her chemise and flung it over her head. It was a cloud of white, and then when it floated away to the floor, Nora was left looking at Felix.

His eyes darkened dangerously as he took her in. Reveling in it, Nora leaned back on her elbows.

"Nora," he choked.

"Just kiss me, Felix."

A smirk shot across his face, and then Felix flattened Nora to the bed. But he didn't kiss her. His lips hovered above hers, teasing her with their nearness until Nora gave in, closing the distance between them herself this time.

She felt his smile beneath her mouth and her own lips tugging upward in a grin as she kissed him repeatedly.

"I've had a part of you for so long, and now I want all of you, Felix," she breathed between them.

At her words, Felix emitted a low growl before trailing his lips down her body, paying close attention to the way that Nora reacted to his touch, stopping to lick and suck and nip where she wanted it the most.

"All of me?" he repeated, looking up. His eyes were partly covered by his disheveled hair, and he looked the proper rake. Her rake.

She nodded, a smile playing on her lips.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she groaned and pulled on his shirt, urging him—well, she wasn't sure what she was urging him to do, but she wanted more. More of everything. Felix's head popped up, looking at her, examining her face. Within seconds, he had stripped off his clothes and laid himself over her carefully, their skin meeting in tantalizing sweetness.

One of his hands came to cup her cheek, and the other followed the length of her body, dipping between her legs. Nora let out a gasp at the feeling of being touched so intimately.

"I want you, Nora." Felix traced a finger over her most sensitive flesh, sending little pulses of heat and please through Nora's body.  She'd never experienced anything like the way he was making feel right now. 

Felix's eyes connected with hers. He was seeking permission, but Nora felt like she had given it a dozen times over. She had wished for this moment for an aching number of nights, and she'd had enough of waiting.

"Goddamnit, Felix," she swore, squirming beneath his touch. "I said, yes." The last word came out as a moan.

He smirked, continuing to caress her softly. "I love you."

Nora whimpered. Everything inside her was tightening, and she felt like she was going to burst out of her skin. But then suddenly, Felix's touch disappeared. "I—"

She was cut off by the feeling of something more...demanding pressing into her. 

"Oh." Her mouth popped open in surprise. She shouldn't be surprised. She had asked it, after all. 

Felix's brows pulled together, and his voice was tight as he asked, "Nora?" 

After wiggling beneath him, growing accustomed to the presence of his hard, hot body, Nora flicked her gaze to his waiting one. "Do not stop."

He didn't look away from her as he pushed all the way in. And then Nora felt it. The feeling of Felix everywhere. The feeling of his love, at last.

"Oh, god," she muttered, throwing her head back in surprise of the sensations, twinging at first and then...a sweet tightening.

"Darling, look at me," he urged, watching her intently as she obeyed. The expression on his face was different than Nora had ever seen, and he moved tenderly, slowly. Every movement was done with desperate love. Felix continued that way until it was too difficult for either of them to keep at that pace.

They needed faster, deeper. They needed longer, harder. Nora didn't understand it. Her body arched beneath Felix's instinctively. She flexed her hips against his, trying to find...something. 

And then Nora found it, and somehow Felix had known the exact moment. Because he covered her mouth with his, drinking in the cries she hadn't been able to hold back.  Within seconds, Felix was moaning into her mouth, too. 

After their shaking had subsided, he collapsed onto her side and, with a slow grin, said, "I don't want one night in the sheets with you, Nora. I want every night."

Nora was too sated and blissful to do much more than chuckle.

"And morning," Felix added.

She looked at him with a lazy smile.

His hooded eyes traced the lines of her face. "Maybe afternoon, as well."

Nora gently kissed his lips before wrapping herself in a blanket and crossing the room. Her legs felt wobbly, like jelly, but she only wanted to grab the letter she had written from her desk.

"Here," she said, bringing it back to him.

"What's this?" he asked. He started to unfold the note.

"I was going to send it to you, but you got here before I could." She settled back down on the bed next to him, warm in his embrace.

Felix began to read the note, quietly to himself.

"Dear Felix,

I must amend my previous message. I think I should be allowed, since you have done such before, too.

I do want to see you. I desperately want to see you, Felix. It is a desperation that I do not understand, and that scares me. It scares me like that night back in Hertford, when I ran from you. And now I do not know what to do if I should see you again, even though I very much want to. See you, that is. And so there is nothing that you have done wrong, Felix. Only what I have done to myself. And to you. And I am sorry about that. I would like to fix it, however. Would you be able to travel to New York to visit? I am not sure my mother will allow me to go to Boston, but I should very much like your company this Christmas.

Yours always,

Nora"

Felix bit his lip, staring at the note for a moment before swooping down to kiss Nora soundly.

His warmth was then ripped away from her as he walked—unashamedly naked—to pick up the package that he had brought into the room earlier. She had completely forgotten about it.

"I have something for you too," he said, handing her the box and sitting back on the bed.

There was a nicely tied bow on around the box, and Nora gingerly took one end of the ribbon between her fingers before pulling. It unwrapped easily, and when she pulled the top of the box off, gasped.

"Felix, these are amazing," she said in awe.

"I figured you might need more than one ornament to decorate your tree," he murmured, before wrapping her within the folds of his arms from behind. "And look..." He lifted one of the seven porcelain decorations out of the box to reveal all of Nora's letters nestled at the bottom.

"Come here," she said, grabbing the arm that was around her and pulling him toward the window. Felix snatched one of the blankets off the bed, and when they got to the glass pane, he wrapped it around the both of them.

Nora was about to point out the glass ornament that she had hung from the window when she realized there were swirling, white flakes in the background.

"Felix, it's snowing!"

She spun around, gaping at him excitedly. He glanced outside momentarily, but then his eyes came back to rest on her face. "It's beautiful."

Nora swiveled back toward the window, enjoying the first moments of winter's snow as it covered the rooftops of New York in a pretty dusting. She could feel the smile in Felix's voice when he murmured in her ear from behind. "And I was wondering where that ornament was when I didn't see it on your tree."

"I wanted to keep it up here because it has something special inside it. But now that there are more, I will move it to the tree." Nora carefully plucked the ornament from where it was hanging, showing Felix how she had discovered that the hollowed insides were perfect for hiding secret notes—letters from the man she loved.

"Well, aren't you clever?" Felix chuckled.

She began to take the letters out of the ornament, but Felix stayed her movements. "Don't," he said, kissing her cheek. "There's no better place for my heart than hanging on your Christmas tree."

Nora couldn't help but smile.

"But what about my letters? Shouldn't they be on your Christmas tree, then?" She inquired, teasing him.

He laughed in her ear, which was the effect she had been looking for. "My Christmas tree is rather far from here. Perhaps we could share this year?"

"And every year after?" Nora asked quietly, glancing back at him.

"Definitely," Felix replied with a resolute grin, and they turned to watch the snowfall.