Daddy

I pull out the keys out of the ignition and lean back on the seat's plump cushion. The night sounds are louder now that the car's soft purring has stop.

A howl hoots inside a tuff of leaves. A dog barks in the distance, the light breeze of the night detaches a leaf from the palm tree, making it slide down the front window until it rests on the hood of the car.

Our house stands surrounded by an overgrown lawn, withered flowers which Irene had personally planted during the first month we had moved here. Weeds have taken over everything, slowly crawling up the blue painted walls.

This is our first house, our pride, our home – but in the last few months it has become the ultimate haunted house for kids to execute dares on Halloween. It's so out of place in the neighborhood where the grass is cut weekly, the walls painted three times a year, and seasonal decorations put up promptly.

Darkness pools out of every corner of the house, daring me to break my promise. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm not supposed to walk in there and sleep tightly in our comforting bed while my other half lies on a hospital bed.

I promised myself I would wait for her. Every day, I send my brother up here to get my work clothes so that I don't come face-to-face with what my present is supposed to be like – the white picket fence and two point five kids. It was all so close but flinched away from us.

I open the car's door, the breeze chilling my face, and sniff out the peaceful air Irene and I had chased for so long. Now, it's tickling my face, ruffling my hair, and mocking me.

I cast a glance at the wooden door. I'm not supposed to be here. I need to wait so we can walk up the driveway and turn that lock together. We need to go in together because that is how we left it.

My hands slide inside my suit's pocket as I close my tired eyes, remembering the first day the building blocks for this house were placed in our lives.

It was our graduation day. It was the day meant to reward our four years of stress over finals, projects, and roommates with poor hygiene. It was also the day society expected us to start helping the economy with whatever degree we had just earned, the day that determined who we were going to be for the rest of our lives.

For me, it was the day that was to determine whether I was going to be who I truly wanted to be – Irene's husband.

The proposal. It was about that time. I was finally going to ask her to stay by my side till the day my body becomes one with the earth.

If I was to say that I was anxious, that would be an understatement. Sweat was pouring out of every part of my body that was capable of producing sweat. I was on my fourth shirt and it was already dripping. I untied the tie to allow more air into my tight lungs. My heart was jumping in place as my muscles constricted with each passing seconds.

I thought guys who were nervous before their proposal were simply insecure. If you were going to ask her to marry you that meant you were certain she loved you right? Who in their right mind would propose to someone who they knew didn't reciprocate their feelings?

Well, I was wrong. Even knowing she loved me didn't dissipate my anxiety. There were so many reasons a girl could reject a guy other than not being in love with him. There was money, family, geographic incompatibility, fear of setting down, fear of marriage, the urge to travel the world, etc. There were so many of them that just thinking about it made me hyperventilate.

"Still about to pass out?" My brother slapped my shoulder, pausing my nervousness for a quick second.

It had been a little over a year since the accident and it still weirded me out to see my brother not enveloped from head to toe by low pants and large hoodies. He had learned his lesson but getting the lifestyle out of him was taking longer than anyone of us liked. Just last week we caught him trying to sneak out to go smoke with his old friends – the same ones who left him on the cold pavement, bleeding out until a stranger called an ambulance.

He was getting better though, that was all we needed. Seeing him in a dark suit – not tucked in – was all I needed to know that I was not going to lose my brother to the streets. Even his grammar was getting more proper.

"I'll be fine."

"You sure you wanna do this?" He brought out the engagement ring nested inside the small pouch in her palms. "You haven't ask yet so you can still make a run for it."

"Stop bothering your brother." My mother came up behind us, slipping inside the room in her snow white dress and her natural black hair puffing out in a bun. I think that was the third time I had seen my mother's hair in my entire life. She readjusted my tie, her eyes gleamed with pride as she placed the cap on my head. "You're going to make the best husband the world has ever known."

"Man, so much disappointment gonna follow that high expectation. The guy doesn't even have enough gut to pop the question yet."

"Boy," her hands joined her hips. "Did I ask for your thoughts? Get in the car, we're going to be late."

"Can never have no fun with them women," he said under his breath as he passed me to get outside.

"He's going to be fine," I told her when I saw the worry edged in her face. It wasn't going to ease her concern but I wanted to reassure her that she wasn't doing anything wrong.

"I can't believe how close we had come to lose him," she croaked. "I don't know how I would have lived with myself. And your poor father, not even getting his second chance."

My jaw tightened at the mention of that man but I said nothing. I held her in my arms and waited for her tears to dry. Bashing the man, bringing all of his wrongs in the light will not change anything. It never did.

Regardless of my numerous objections, my mother had agreed to copay his rents for a while and helping him out with the other bills the best she could. Did we get a thanks for that? Hell no, just him disappearing on us after he had manage to pull some money under us then reappearing as soon as he was done blowing it.

"Look at me destroying your big day." She dapped the corners of her eyes with a light pink handkerchief. "Irene's going to be here any minutes."

Reluctantly, I let go of her. I wanted to just run to her and let her large body guard me from the cruel world. One last time, I wanted to believe that my mother's arms were the only shield I needed and that I could rely on her help for any obstacle I encountered. I knew that as soon as I was handed that degree, I no longer had the privileges of a child nor a student. I was another grown human being who needed to play his part in the world development and pick himself up by himself.

That was why I was going to ask Irene to stick with me. As long as we were together the world was never going to be on our shoulders but rather in our palms.

I hid the box inside my pants' pockets right before my queen, hopefully-soon-to-be-wife, walked in. The black jewelry in her brown hair complimented the black graduation gown we were proudly strutting.

"Hey handsome." I tensed when her arms circled my hips, a few inches lower would give my whole scheme away. "What's wrong?"

I kissed the frown between her brows, smoothing the skin back to its flawless structure. "Nothing. Let's go get our degrees."

"I'm so excited," she squealed as I grabbed my graduation gown and followed her out the motel room.

This motel was getting rich off the students. Ninety percent of its occupants the previous night had been my graduating class. We had no other choice since most of our homes were hours away but the ceremony was in the early morning.

"I'm going to be a college graduate then in two more months I will be a teacher in my own classroom."

Yeah, that. She was leaving me alone to crawl the ladders of the medical field. No amount of words and promises would make her change her mind. She wanted to be a teacher and was set on being one. I saw her set her acceptance letter in fire. She was not going with me so the ring laid inside my pocket was my last chance at keeping the sun in my life. Dark days were going to follow if her response was not a positive one.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Her soft voice instantly lightened the dark mood that was choking me.

"Yeah."

"Then why are you sweating? And going thirty miles over the speed limit?"

"Oh sh..." My feet pushed down, making the car screech to a stop in the middle of the road.

The car behind me honked my ears off before he continued pass us. I released my hold in the steering wheel and took in a deep breath to calm my erratic nerves. It was not every day that someone's entire life was going to be handed to him – from his job to his spouse. The nerves in my hands were jiggling in both excitement and fear. My whole body was practically working in adrenaline.

"Well that was..." She released a gasp loud enough to fill the entire car and make my heart start pumping harder.

When I faced her, she was gawking at something next to my seat. I knew what it was before I dropped my gaze in its direction. I could feel the sudden emptiness in my pocket.

"Please tell me that's a necklace." Her eyes pleaded with me, moisture aligning at the corners while her lips trembled.

That was nowhere near the type of reaction I wanted. A line of vehicles moved past us, some drivers honked and others cursed. I turned off the car.

I was considering calling the whole thing off. I could have just said that a friend asked me to hold it for him while he gathered enough courage to ask his girlfriend to marry him. Only this friend was my own self. I thought I had a couple more hours to gather my thoughts and reasons why she had to marry me.

Now all I had was myself, a ring, and a dead brain.

"My mother wanted me to wait until after the graduation so we could have double the celebration in one night." I retrieved the black box between the cracks it had managed to fall in. "And also my brother wanted to immortalize me going down on one knee for future not-so-honorable purposes."

She smiled tightly and turned to look at the landscape – the palm trees swaying in the soft breeze, the colorful tropical flowers spreading their petals, and the lizards bathing in the warm Florida sun. "So I had no say in how this was supposed to happen."

"Well, it's kind of awkward to ask someone how they want to be proposed to."

"Ummm." She continued to stare out the window, her face relaxed, and her shoulders rested on the seat as if she wanted to be outside instead of listening to me. Her chest rising and falling in quick successions was the only indication that she wasn't unaffected by the subject.

"Irene, look at me," I demanded. I needed eye contact to be sure I was making the right decision. I needed to be certain she wanted this as bad as I did. That she wasn't afraid to venture in an unknown adventure for a lifetime with me.

I inhaled my last uncertain breath and asked the burning question. "Will you marry me?"

That was the second longest second of my life.

A bright smile preceded the answer that applied permanent glue to sunshine in my life. "Yes."

I was wrong. I didn't have two things to worry about today. Irene's answer was the last puzzle piece I needed to complete my life, a college degree was decoration to beautify the perfectly imperfect life I had just booked myself.

We nearly missed the ceremony, arriving a good twenty minutes late. As if I cared about pretty speeches made by peasants when the queen walked in by my side.

The wedding was rushed to make sure we were already one by the time we had to go earn a living in the world for our family. The piece of paper the court gave us wasn't what solidify our union but hearing each other's vows and hearing the other one accepting the promise to stay despite everything.

And the privilege of watching Irene glide down the aisle covered in white and bliss.

The only thing I would change about my indescribable summer wedding with the woman of my dreams is the presence of her parents. If I had my way, I would have went to their almighty palace and dragged their too proud bottoms to the church. Irene didn't want to send them an invitation – the prideful gene was not so lost in her– but I did.

It was against everything I believed in to go behind my fiancée's back but I had to try. I wanted her to have family witnessing the beginning of the rest of her life. I wanted to give her the perfect dream wedding experience from dress shopping with her mother and bachelorette party with her best friend to being walked down the aisle in her father's arms.

I tried calling them but came up empty. She had a second cousin who showed up at the end of the ceremony. That was about it for her biological family. However, she had a new family and I knew we were all going to stick together.

I was grateful for Carmen. Despite my strong rooted dislike for her, she was in the church to support Irene. That was the only good thing she had ever done that I was aware of.

An annoying buzzing disturbing the calmness of the night brings me back to the present, away from a warm and happy Irene. My heart skips a beat when my mother's face appears in the phone's screen. She was the one who fought to get me back here. She wanted me to get a good night sleep so there's no way she's calling for a less than life-threatening event.

"Joe, you have to come." She rushes as soon as I pick up the call, her voice roughened by panic and fear.

"What happened?" I ask but I'm already backing the car out of the driveway in the direction of the hospital.

"I'm sorry. They said they have to take the baby out now. They said it's time." 

____

The good news: It's double the Joseph. 

The bad news: The crucial hour is here, Will she or will she not survive? And the book only has five more chapters to go.