Daddy

"What is that supposed to mean?" I shout at the doctor who's slowly backing away from me. The nurse is already halfway out the door, probably hurrying to call security.

Like that picket fence can hold the tsunami threatening to launch out of me.

Henry's holding me back while my mother stands by my side, trying to calm me down with soothing words. None of that is working. I just want to rip that man's head from his body and make him bleed.

The small, portable table which contained medical instruments is now on the floor. All of its contents splatter on the floor, sliding under the furniture.

How dare he tells me that my wife is not going to make it! How dare he approaches me with negative news!

"I'm sorry Mr. Pierre but I'm just telling you what the tests have shown me," he pushed the glasses further up his nose. His skin is as pale as fish dipped into a bowl of flour prior to frying.

"Redo them," I grit out. "I'm not accepting those."

The veins at my neck are so tense that I think any sudden movement can cause them to tear.

"Joseph, calm down," Henry hisses. He's using all of his strength to keep me from murdering this stupid doctor right now.

I've been paying for them to provide my wife with the best care for six months. They decide now, when we're almost there, is the best time to tell me that it was all in vain.

"We really did think she was going to pull through," the doctor's hands were shaking. His skinny face seems to have lost ten more pounds in a space of a second. His grey eyes are fill with fear and pity. "She's just not doing as well as we had hoped."

"I don't care about what you're telling me right now. I need my wife and child alive. I'm not leaving this hospital without the both of them. I don't need one, I need both of them."

He shakes his head and looks down at his folder for the hundred time. "I'm sorry, Mr. Pierre but your wife's brain activity is slowing down. I'm afraid there's not much we can do about that. We're only human not God. If this continues, there's a chance we might have to do an emergency C-section to get the baby out. That's all we can guarantee right now."

I watch bloody red takes over the white, sterile room. A dark shadow settles over the doctor who's gazing at the door. He's trying to get out of my way but my body is blocking his way. Henry tightens his hold on me but I manage to free myself from him.

With two long, predator-like strides, I come face-to-face to the man. His throat moves up and down, swallowing his fear. I don't have to be in his place to sympathize with him. A tall black man hovering over him with his eyes spitting fire, his veins standing on alert along all of his muscles, and his teeth baring like a lion ready to detach meat from bones.

I look scary, I know. I can see myself reflecting in his glasses. I can feel his terror rising with each step I take.

"Mr. Pierre," his feet touches a chair and he trips over it. His pen and clipboard falls on the floor. "You have to understand that we're doing everything science allows us to do. This is a hospital not a church. You can't expect us to work miracles."

"Joe," my mother's tender voice halts me in my hunt. My gaze drops to where her hand is touching me. "You have to calm down. You knew this was a possibility since day one."

I pull my wrist away from her and move towards Irene's bed. This is all becoming too real too fast. She's the same she has always been, sweet and calm. I can't believe I'm about to lose her.

I wipe my eyes before the tears that are forming can show themselves. Everything inside me is exploding. I hold on to the rail of her bed as I watch the line on the heart monitor moves up and down.

How did we get here? What could have I had done differently to prevent this faith from falling on her? Am I the one that brought this on her?

Yes, I'm the true culpable. I should be the one on that bed not her. All she has ever done wrong is being with me. If I had went in a different direction on that first day back for the spring semester, she might not be here. If I had not been so keen to make her mine, she might have had a brighter future. That single handed yes that lit up my world was her first step towards doom city.

The tragedy began on a cool morning. Both my mother and brother had accompanied me back to the campus. The latter was here against his will. He had spent the long drive here with his headphones on and his eyes glued to his phone. He never acknowledged either of us. That was fine by all of us, as long he was here instead of getting himself into trouble.

We were emptying the car when I caught a glimpse of brown hair flowing in the air. Immediately the candy apple aroma took over my senses. I nearly broke my brother's feet when I lost my grip on the box I was holding.

"What the hell, n***a?" He yelled.

I mumbled an apology but my eyes were scanning the campus, hoping to catch a longer glimpse of the beauty I just saw. And there she was, by a luxurious car parked under the only tree in the parking lot. The only shaded place in this lot. Her long tan legs stretching out in her shorts, her face glowing as she carried a box inside the building. Her friend followed close behind with a boy by her side carrying multiple boxes.

This girl bothered me on so many levels but she was really closed to Irene so I had to do my best to get on her good side. I had to cage my doubts about her and be grateful that she's in Irene's life. I had to stay positive and hope this friendship wasn't draining her.

On the plus side, it seemed like we were sharing building. My body warms up at the idea and all the endless possibilities it represent.

"Man, seriously?" Henry slapped my shoulder to bring me back to them.

My mom sported a teasing smile while Henry just rolled his eyes at me.

"I ain't trying to be here all week," he shifted from foot to foot like he didn't know how to stay still. "We gonna do this or Nawh?"

"Seriously boy, where did you learn English?" Mom said to me before turning to me. "Moving now, pretty girls later."

"I wasn't..."

"Yes, you were," she stopped me. "You went all lovey-dovey eyes on us. I don't even want to know what you were thinking about."

"I know," Henry wiggled his eyebrows as his eyes shifted from me and a group of girls passing by.

My mother's hand went flying and landed on the back of his head. I was expecting this.

"You're a child. So are you," she pointed her finger at me.

"Yes, ma'am," I muffled a laugh as I went for another box.

I entered the building with every hair on my body erected. My senses became sensible to any movement, any sound. I kept my head straight ahead, trying to act nonchalant. I didn't want anyone to notice how nervous I was. I was walking inside the same building the girl of my dream was living in. I was the picture of nervousness and happiness covered up by careful steps and impossible self-control.

"Joseph!" I recognized the angelic voice coming from right in front of me.

My eyes were still watching the floor when a pair of pure white sneakers appeared in my view. Slowly, I trailed my gaze up her body. My temperature rose as my gaze moved up. She had an outfit fitted for angel. All white everywhere, her creamy skin glowed brighter than ever. The long locks of hair contrasted perfectly with everything.

Someone behind me coughed louder than necessary. The elevator doors started to close. She quickly pull out her hands to stop them.

"Aren't you coming in?" she asked.

God, I loved that voice. Even if I had spent the entire break hearing it through the phone every day, the real thing was beyond comparison. It was everything that was good in this world and the next. It was like sitting in a cloud in heaven while someone handfed you pizza and fried chicken. They might have been poison but who cares? It's heaven and nothing bad ever happens there.

"Aren't you coming out?" I asked.

"Yes," Carmen said. She openly glared at me, not bothered to mask her dislike.

"I think I forgot something upstairs," Irene told her. "You can go out without me. I'll catch up with you in a few."

She threw her head back and stomped pass me. "You've got to be kidding me," she groaned as her shoulders slammed into mine. She continued to walk without a glance back.

"What's wrong with her?" Mom whispered in my ears.

"Don't nobody ever know what's wrong with them females," Henry said to her, loud enough for the entire floor to hear.

"Stop embarrassing your brother," she hissed at him when a couple of heads turned our way.

I slid inside the elevator, "Hi."

Her delicious smell elevated inside the tight space. The tension in my muscles strained as I struggled to keep my grip on the box instead of trying to touch the flawless skin besides me.

"Hi," she replied while backing up to make space for my mother and my brother.

They both got in, my brother's eyes on his phone's screen and my mother's shifting from Irene and me.

"Hi," she said. She stood by me with an expectant look in her face.

"Mom, this is Irene. Irene, this is my mother," I introduced them.

Irene offered her hand while my mother went in for a kiss on the cheeks. I watched the ladies struggle to find the right way to conclude the introduction. They were both switching at the same time until they awkwardly held on to each other's hands while their cheeks touched.

"And that's my brother," I motioned towards Henry who was leaning on the elevator's corner.

"Hi," Irene said to him.

"'Sup, shawty?" He said while holding his fingers up in the peace sign.

Yep, that boy needed a beating.

The elevator dinged and opened up to a group of girls giggling.

"It was nice to meet you all," Irene said as she made a move in the opposite direction.

I reluctantly walked to my door so I could get rid of the weight in my arms.

"She's nice," mom said when we were at a safe distance away from her.

I pulled out my keys to unlock the door and my eyes caught her doing the same thing a few doors down.

"Nice, bod too," Henry commented. I heard mom's exhausted sigh behind me as I stuck my keys inside the knob.

When Irene disappeared inside the room, something hit me. I wanted to protect her from any guys that might be like my father but how could I do that when she wasn't mine to begin with? How could I prevent someone from breaking her heart and rob her of her sweetness when I didn't have any rights to her? I had to make her mine. I had to do it now before someone more daring recognized her rarity.

I opened the door and dropped the box on the first furniture in my reach and headed out the door.

"Where are you going?" Mom called out.

"I'll be back real quick," I ran down the hall and halted in front of the door I just saw her unlock.

I straightened myself, rolled my shoulders back, and cracked my knuckles like I was going to war. It was kind of a war, a war for love.

With my heart digging out of my chest, I knocked on the door.

You can do this, Joe!

My breath caught in my throat when her face emerged from behind the door. Her long brown hair had fallen over the right side of her face, hiding one perfect emerald eye. Her slender fingers rose up to push it behind her ear.

"Joseph," she said simply. Just hearing my name on her mouth made me want to pull her to me and proclaim her mine to everyone nearby.

Her lips were smiling at me, keeping my gaze captive on them. I licked mine, burying the feeling clawing at me to kiss her.

"Do you want to go out with me?" I blurred in one quick sentence before I could coward away. "A real date this time."

I waited in an impossible silence. I felt my soul shake in sorrow when her smile dimmed. My heart was using herculean force to pound in my chest. I was afraid it was loud enough for people in the deep undiscovered parts of the Amazon forest to mistake it for the beating of a drum and dance to it.

No one will never know that in the seconds it took for her to respond that I died. I had died and went to hell to be tormented by an immortal life without her.

"Yes," she said. And in that moment she had sealed the first party of her rolling destiny with me. The destiny that ended with her in a hospital bed and the possibility of never holding the baby she had fought so hard to gain.