The next few days were pretty laid back, I spent a lot of time with Seth and his siblings. His two twin brothers had left shortly after my arrival for winter hockey camp and Ellis was getting ready to leave later today for her grandparent's house. Kimmy had managed to drag me along to her roller derby practice. I was sitting on the bleacher style seating, just thumbing through songs on my phone, while I watched her team practice a series of whips and jump moves.

The sounds of their skates hitting the slick flooring on the circular tracks, caused intense shivers to course down my spine. A few new girls were struggling and every now and again they would stumble and fall to their knees. The girl, who I assumed was the new Captain, was standing over them talking with them. She didn't look too happy and had removed her helmet and was messing with her blonde pigtails. At one point she shook her tattooed finger at one of the girls, who was close to tears.

Kimmy hung back and was chatting with one of the team's blockers; I knew she was a blocker, because her helmet didn't have any markings on it. The other girl that stood with them, had a stripe on her helmet, which indicated that she was a pivot position. The blonde Captain hollered over to Kimmy, who put back on her red and blue helmet, with the stars on it and headed her way. She crouched down and was talking with one of the new girls, who simply nodded and headed over to the bleachers.

I felt someone come and sit down by me and when I looked over, Seth's fierce green eyes just looked into mine. He had ditched his leather jacket and was in a simple pair of faded skinny jeans, his black combat boots, and one of our band hoodies. He started to run his fingers through his wavy mohawk as a couple of the girls from the team, stopped what they were doing and started staring in his direction. A few were giggling and eyeing him up, like he was a thick and juicy steak in the meat department of the supermarket.

"Looks like the Seth Carter Fan Club has a membership base," I said with a raised eyebrow.

His mouth formed an 'o' shape, before he cracked a smile and just scooted closer to me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me into his side. "Maybe, but I prefer my exclusive club, it only has one member," he winked, as he leaned in to kiss my forehead.

"Hey, Seth," the blonde Captain said, as she headed in our direction.

"Hi, Rhoda, how's practice? I see you have a few new girls," he responded as he messed with his phone a bit.

"You know how it goes, especially when you have to break in newbies. Say, you wanna grab a drink after we are done here? A few of us girls are headed to Lenny's."

"Nah, sorry. I'm only here to pick up my sister and my girlfriend." The manner in which he said girlfriend, with extra emphasis, warmed my heart in a way. Seth wasn't exactly what I would call a playboy, but if he wanted it, there wasn't a shortage of it available. He was always honest with me in the past about hooking up, but the fact that he was serious about not doing it anymore, stirred something inside of me.

At a time in my life when I was filled with so many questions and subtle insecurities, it was refreshing to know that someone was keeping their promises to me and not easily letting me down. Sitting there while they chit chatted, I thought back to Paxton and how his actions only caused more insecurities to fester underneath my skin. His constant hot and cold moods only served to make me more confused about the things I had wanted. Damian on the other hand always had that normal grumpy attitude, but it was the fact that he had promised that he would always be there for me, yet the minute his family said boo, he ran. That was the kind of let down that I didn't need in my life anymore.

"Talia?" I looked over at Seth, who was speaking to me.

"Sorry, I spaced. What's up?

"I asked you if you wanted to go out to visit your mom today? The snow has cleared a tad, but it's supposed to storm tomorrow and throughout the week. I was thinking we could drop Kimmy off at Clark's house and then head to the market for some flowers. Mom's working and she said the florist just got some really nice stuff in this morning."

"Yeah, I'd actually like that. I still can't believe that Kimmy and Clark are an item," I commented, as I thought back to Clark Hershum, the school's shy, yet extremely hot resident bookworm. I knew that Kimmy had a crush on Clark for the longest time. She had it so bad for him, that she faked needing tutoring in Calculus, just so she could spend time with him last year; but he never seemed interested. He was always so focused on school, that it left little time for girls or other extra curricular activities.

Apparently, at the beginning of the year, Clark asked Kimmy if she would like to go to the back-to-school dance. She had text me all about the purple dress with a tule skirt that she had bought and how when he showed up, he was wearing a silver suit with a purple tie. She kept going on and on about how his short blonde hair was now getting longer and starting to swoop down onto his forehead and how the silver suit brought out the flecks of gold in his amber colored eyes. She told me about the awkward dinner at the local steakhouse, where he almost caught the sleeve of his suit on fire, as he reached over a candle to grab the pepper shaker. He had apparently been very nervous during the whole pre-dance dinner, but when they slow danced, he held her tight to his chest and told her how beautiful he always thought she was. She was a goner for Clark Hershum and all it took was one dance.

"Believe it! They are apparently the school's new Kimye, they even have a ship name. It's something like Clarimmy," he laughed as he looked into my eyes. "What do you think our ship name would be?"

"Definitely, Salia." His eyes lit up at my comment and it looked like he was lost in thought about the fact that we had a relationship name. Just saying it out loud made the whole thing with Seth more real, more genuine. "Seth, we've always been Team Salia, we just upgraded slightly to a new version."

..........................

After dropping Kimmy off at her boyfriend's house, we headed over to Ridgemont's Groceries and Seth paid for a bouquet of Stargazer lilies and red tulips, with a hint of white baby's breath mixed in. It was exactly the kind of bouquet that my mom would come and pick out, if she were still alive. She used to buy red tulip bulbs from a gardening magazine each year and plant them in the small flower boxes outside of our bedroom windows. She used to call it our little piece of Holland, since we couldn't afford to take a real trip to see the gigantic sprawling fields of different colored tulips with the large windmills in the backdrop. Someday, I would venture to Holland and I would find the most colorful tulip field and just sit in it while playing my guitar, for her.

We made our way to the cemetery where my mother was buried, the chilly wind seeped through the small crack in the window next to me. I could feel it stinging the top of my eyebrow, but at that moment, I welcomed the pain, because it reminded me that unlike my mother, I was still alive.

That simple act of wind biting my skin served to remind me that life could be pain, but sometimes that pain served to remind us what we had to live for. When I looked over at Seth drumming his fingers on the steering wheel to "Shadow Moses," by Bring Me The Horizon, I realized that even though my heart was in severe pain, I had people to live for.

We parked the van and Seth hung back for a few minutes, to allow me to walk on ahead. I walked through the rows of headstones until I reached the row where she was buried. I didn't have enough money to buy her a headstone, so the library where she had worked, pitched in to buy her a small copper grave marker. I walked down the row, until I came to stand over the spot where she existed below, but the copper grave marker was gone. In its place was a beautiful headstone, with an intricately carved, slate grey weeping angel, cradling a black glossy marble heart. I stared in disbelief at what I was seeing.

Claire Audrey Grey

Jan 4, 1981- April 17, 2017

Beloved mother, daughter, and cherished friend

"There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved."- George Sand

Her favorite quote by French novelist Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin, who wrote under the pseudonym, George Sand, sat at the bottom of the headstone. If the quote was indeed factual, my mother had been loved and she had loved; therefore in her eyes, she had achieved the ultimate happiness.

I felt the tears stream down my icy cold cheeks, as I felt him come to stand next to me, the bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"Seth, who did this?" I inquired, as I looked over at him. He was shuffling his boot clad foot against the thin layer of snow underneath his feet. It dawned on me at that moment, as I turned to look into his eyes and knew instantly, I knew exactly who purchased the headstone.

"The ring and the headstone. Is this what you spent your signing bonus on?" I looked into those forest green eyes, trying to focus past the barrage of tears that were clouding my vision. He didn't answer right away, because he knew that he didn't need to.

"She was my family too, Talia. I couldn't leave her here without people knowing her story. All we are after we die is a story and hers was worth more than some dingy cheap copper plate with just her name on it. You're worth more than that. I'd do anything for you and I needed to do this."

I threw my arms around his neck and stretched on my tiptoes in order to place a soft kiss on his cold pink lips. He nestled his face in the crook of my neck and held me tight as I cried. I cried, because standing in my arms was a guy who always put others first. He could have done so many things with the money the record label gave him, but instead he spent it on his family; he spent his money on people he loved. I knew that Seth loved me, but until that moment, I never realized the magnitude with which he loved. Seth loved with all of his heart, unconditional, unwavering love. Seth loved with his soul.

He broke away and handed me the bouquet of flowers, before he walked up to my mom's grave and placed his hand on the top of the angel's head and closed his eyes, silently saying both his hellos and goodbyes to my mom. When he was finished, he ran his hand through his hair as he walked back over to the van. I looked back and saw that Kimmy had showed up and was standing, with her back pressed up to the side of the van, waiting.

I placed the flowers in the small bronze vase which was inserted into the ground, next to her headstone. I pulled out the insert and walked over to a nearby water fountain and filled it with a small amount of water, before placing it back into the ground. I just sat there on the cold ground for what seemed like forever, my legs crossed in front of me, just trying to think up all the things I wanted to say to her. Every time I opened my mouth, the words just froze to my tongue. I didn't know how to express to her all the feelings I had when I thought about her and her death. I hung my head and felt the tears well up again, threatening to spill across my cheeks like overfilled storm drains during hurricane season.

I felt Kimmy's small hand clasp my shoulder as she sat down on the ground next to me. She pulled down her black beanie over her long black hair and smiled at me.

"I don't know what to say. How do I sit here and tell her everything that I'm thinking?"

"You don't. You don't need to tell her anything, Talia, she knows exactly how you feel and everything you think and do. I'm not going to sit here and tell you crap like, she's out there watching over you, but I do think that when she died, she left nothing unfinished. I know that sounds weird, but she knew exactly how much you loved her and she knew that one day you would have everything that life could offer you. I doubt that she died with any regrets. The only regret she would have is seeing you broken like this and not being able to fix you." Kimmy was always a very straight shooter in how she approached things. She was a very black and white person, who didn't mind telling you exactly how it was; there was no candy coating that happened when Kimmy Carter opened her mouth.

I had to admit, at that moment, I didn't need candy coated reassurances. I needed someone to slap me in the face with a dose of reality. My mom was gone and was never coming back. I couldn't live my life letting her death break me over and over again, never giving me enough space or time to cement the falling pieces back together. I needed to grieve, but not dwell. I needed to allow myself to heal.

"I don't think she would be too pleased with the direction my life is taking right now." I hung my head and swirled my finger in the thin layer of snow, creating shapes.

"You mean the stupid crap with those boys who make you feel like boo boo constantly? Ehhh, she'd probably laugh at the situation, but she'd for sure slap the crap out of you for allowing boys to tug at her heart like that. I know I don't have much room to talk, seeing as I'm rooting for my brother in the end, but whatever is going on with your family and theirs is just an excuse for them to play you against each other."

"What do you mean, an excuse?" I inquired.

"Well, you constantly say how one boy is all hot and cold, then the other is affectionate, but tells you that you belong to his brother. Well, that's a load of crap, frankly. If Damian Reever really loved you, then he would be with you regardless of what his brother or father thinks. I think he's using this whole family rivalry thing as an excuse to not allow you to get too close to him. He's using all this mythology mumbo jumbo as a shield in order to protect himself from heartbreak." Kimmy had a point, if Damian really loved me, then it wouldn't matter if his family approved or not. We both had something to lose in the name of love, except I was the only one that was ever willing to sacrifice.

"You have a point. I guess it's for the best though. Had they not done what they did, then I wouldn't have realized how I really felt about Seth."

"My brother loves you, Talia, and I'm not just saying that because he's my brother. I'd throw him to the wolves, if it meant that I would get the bigger room," she stopped to laugh at the thought of sacrificing her brother for a larger bedroom. "I will say though, he'd never do what those boys have done to you. You're a part of our family, just like your mom was. Seth would step out in front of a moving vehicle for you, he wouldn't sit and mess with your heart and he would never hurt the people you cared about. From the stuff you've told me, the Reevers wouldn't be that kind."

I sat there and listened to her observations about the Reevers and I asked myself if what she was saying was in fact true. I knew that Paxton would never put himself in harm's way for my safety, but I was also starting to think that neither would Damian.

I was simply a pawn.... An insignificant pawn in the Reever's plan all along.

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A/N: Hey Guys!

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please don't forget to vote and/or comment.

Ugh... I'm not sure what to write here, except to say it again, Seth is amazeballs. He spent his money on a headstone for Talia's mom *cries*

I also love Kimmy Carter! She is like the rational, no holding back, honest best friend. I think Talia needed to hear this stuff, so she can make the right choice about who to choose in the end. I also decided (I might have mentioned this, but I don't remember) that I would cast Megan Fox as Kimmy (young Megan, like in the movie Jennifer's Body young)

Next chapter!!! BIG THINGS!!! NO spoilers though :)

<3 Amina