The morning of our departure for NYC was filled with excitement, yet there was a bitter sweetness in the air. The trip was everything that I had ever wanted and it included a record deal with my band. But more importantly, there was a completeness that accompanied the dream; my family was back together and Seth was here.

I guess I didn't exactly realize how much I had missed Seth in the short amount of time I had been away. I had been so consumed with keeping my grades sky high and I'd counterbalanced that with family secrets and two surly boys who tugged at me like a dog would a new chew toy.

Seth wasn't complicated like Damian. He didn't have high school drama or family secrets that he clutched to his chest, hoping people never really saw the real side to him. Underneath the sex-god body and the accumulating tattoos, Seth was a normal guy. He was the oldest of five and his mom worked as a manager of the local Ridgemont's Groceries in town. His dad taught sixth grade and in his spare time, he coached a local basketball group for disabled boys and girls. Seth always went on Saturday mornings to help the kids practice, which is why we never had band stuff till later in the day.

Seth's one sister, Kimmy, who was my age and went to my school before the move, was probably the coolest girl I had ever met. She had long flowing black hair and a wickedly devious smile. She wasn't a follower and I admired her for not getting swept up in the typical high school crap that so many did. She was one of my closest friends and would always come to our shows. In return, I always attended her roller derby matches.

Kimmy, was one of the best jammers around. She could skate fast and dodge blockers. Her team was The Northfield Derby Darlins and I remember the day she tried out and passed. She was so excited that she rushed into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist and screaming in my ear. From that day forth, she was no longer Kimmy Carter, Seth's little sister, she was the vicious Hermione SLAYher.

Seth's family was an extension of my own family and after my mom died, I went to live with them briefly. However, all it took was a horrible social worker to pull me from my safe haven. Maybe it was for the best though, people saw how Seth and I looked at each other and living under the same roof only screamed one thing: the possibility of a teen pregnancy.

After my gear and bags were loaded, I ran upstairs to grab a few lingering things, running into Paxton along the way. When his hands gripped my arms, I felt a wave of fear course through my body. I didn't like how he touched me anymore and if I could have chewed my own arm off like a wolf stuck in a trap, I would have.

"Rushing off into the unknown with a walking bag of testosterone." It wasn't really a question that left his lips; it felt like more of a subtle interrogation.

"I'm leaving with my band for a few weeks, is there a problem?"

"Maybe." He looked at me with a coldness to his normally soft chocolate eyes.

"Maybe? I don't actually see a problem, Paxton."

"Well, the problem lies in that you're getting too comfortable with my brother and now a new player has entered the game. I think that maybe when you get back, a discussion is warranted about where you and I are going to go from here, and we are going to go somewhere."

Oh, you mean where I tell you to stick your gorgeous head up your own ass and never put your hands on me again, kind of discussion?

I desperately wanted to close the door on the sexier than nails Paxton Reever, but after seeing his sudden shift in demeanor, I figured being this close to a flight of stairs and saying something signaled dire trouble.

"Yeah, I think it would be great to discuss our future. When I get back, that is." I placed a soft kiss on his cheek, before hurrying up to my room.

........................

I missed being stuck in a van, people sandwiched between duffel bags, guitar cases and gear. I missed the smells of a van load of boys; their hair products, shower gels and the occasional whiff of smoke from Sims' cigarettes. It might sound weird to admit that I missed the even not so pleasant smells that came from a van full of boys, considering that Mosh wasn't a shower everyday kind of guy.

I missed the feeling of slapping my feet up on Seth's dashboard, the widow open and my hand out of it. I missed the feeling of the wind slapping against my palm as my hair flew back, probably into Mosh's face.

I missed the sound of Seth's tattooed fingers drumming on the steering wheel when his favorite songs would come on over the iPod. I missed hearing him sing along when his favorite Slipknot song, "Psychosocial" began playing.

Mosh was drumming on the back of my seat, with his sticks along to the song. Seated next to him, Mickey was singing along to the song in his guttural growl voice that was reserved for metal music. His blue curls rotated in circles along his head as he headbanged to the music. In true Sims fashion, he quietly tapped his foot on the back of Seth's seat, while he hung his cigarette out the window.

I missed my band, they were my heart.

It was moments such as these, that filled me with a sense of completeness. When my favorite Killswitch Engage song, "The Arms Of Sorrow" came on the playlist, I just allowed myself to get lost in the song, singing along to it and letting my fingers strum the chords on my invisible guitar. It was the kind of song which connected deep within my soul. While I was singing along, I caught a glimpse of Seth looking at me, smiling. I looked over and smiled at him mid chorus, and motioned for him to keep his eyes on the road.

He reached over and took my left hand in his, intertwining our fingers, while he rubbed his calloused thumb over my knuckles. Suddenly, the song wasn't the only thing I was lost in. As I felt his hand on mine, I realized that my heart felt complete being with Seth. Of course, stolen moments were always interrupted. Mosh leaned into the front and successfully ruined the moment that Seth and I were inevitably sharing.

"Hey man, we need to pull over and feed the beast." He flashed a look at our hands coupled and then blushed slightly. "You know eat, get a room, whatever floats the boat." He flashed a wink in my direction and I returned the gesture with a really superb eye roll.

"Alright, next exit. Keep your pink panties on Mosh." Seth flashed him a smile, before his hand left mine and resumed its duty on the steering wheel.

"I know you have fantasies of seeing me in my pink knickers Seth, but at least buy me a pint first." Mosh's gnarly smile and wink combo were enough to have the rest of the van laughing.

"There isn't enough alcohol in the world that would make me want to see you in your grandma's knickers."

"You break my heart pretty boy. I'm crushed." Mosh feigned heartbreak, before slumping back into his seat.

"You two! Pretty soon people are going to think you guys are a couple. Couple of whats, I don't know." I flashed a smile to Seth, in the midst of laughing.

It felt good to be home, if home was a van with painted on flames and four guys who could use a little bit of a refresher course on the standard practices of using enough deodorant.

We pulled off the highway and soon we were smack dab in front of a fast food burger joint. The guys piled out of the back of the van and barreled into the joint. The patrons inside must have received quite a shock when they laid eyes on three tattooed hooligan looking guys running through that door like their asses were on fire.

I rummaged behind my seat for my black cross body bag, that was decorated with spiked rivets, in the process finding Mosh's secret stash of Mars bars. When I opened my door and stepped out of the passenger side of the van, Seth was perched up against the side waiting. He snaked his arm around me, pulling me close to him and placed his face in my hair.

"God, I missed the way you smell, it's like jasmine and honey. I was dying there Picks, you being gone was like the music in my room was on mute and I couldn't find the button to bring it to life." He looked down into my eyes, before running his hand down the length of my face. His nose grazed mine before he took my bottom lip into his mouth, wrapping his free hand around my waist and cupping the back of my neck with the other.

I realized at that moment, that while I had been confused about my feelings where boys were concerned, I was never confused with how I felt about Seth. He was the Jamison whiskey to my ginger ale, the tortilla chips to my salsa, the lock to my key, and the butter laced popcorn to my movie night. He was everything to me and I loved the crap out of him. The only problem was that I also loved Damian, but in an entirely different way.

Was it even possible to love two people simultaneously? Were hearts capable of having genuine feelings for two completely different people?

Seth and I had history and undeniable chemistry, but we had also agreed not to step into anything until I was eighteen, which wasn't until February. It had been a promise that we had made last year when a bout of unexpected kissing went a little too far and I wound up shirtless in his room, after a party where I'd had a little too much to drink. Needless to say, after his mom caught us and sat us down for the, I love you guys together but this is a tad illegal talk, she had asked us to institute the famous 18-pact.

The famous 18-pact stated, in his mother's exact words, that "Seth Carter and Talia Grey will not engage in any *que squeaky bed sounds* until she is in fact legally 18." There was nothing in the 18-pact that stated that we couldn't kiss, just no intimate sexual stuff; which was fine, because the truth was, I didn't think I was mature enough for that.

Seth also didn't do long distance relationships. He used to say it wasn't fair to either person; the whole longing for each other's touch, getting to the point where you're so lonely for the one you loved that you seek out companionship in the wrong places. The day I left Minnesota, Seth looked into my eyes and promised that there would be no girlfriends until I came back, but he couldn't promise there wouldn't be any hookups.

My promise to him was simple, we eventually had London. In whatever capacity we wound up being in: a couple, strictly bandmates, roommates, best friends; London was our time. Kissing Seth when he showed up to my dorm hall and now, was breaking our promise to each other to wait until the time was right and not get swept up in each other until then.

"Seth, I thought we had a deal about this, about us," I blurted out mid-kiss, while my lips were still pressed to his and my arms were dangerously snaking up the back of his t-shirt.

"Fuck the deal. I was miserable without you and I have you for the next week and change. We can go back to the deal afterwards, just give me my week. You'd be torturing me and I know you're too compassionate for torture."

"You have a lot of faith in me. I'm pretty ruthless." I laughed as I squeezed my fingers into his bare tattooed skin.

"Yeah, I saw. I should have guessed you'd have the whole male population of Meeds Hollow eating out of the palm of your hand in no time. I know I always was." He thrust me closer to his chest as he let out a groan when my hands drifted around to his sides. "Damn, ok I need a cigarette before this goes any farther."

"You need to quit smoking. I'll tell you what, I won't kiss you anymore unless you quit the sticks entirely. I hate the taste of it on my lips anyways, it's like licking a public ashtray that a million people have spit in." I looked at him with my best, I'm serious face.

Seth laughed as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his vape pen, sucking on it and blowing out a large cloud of white smoke that had a hint of a fruity smell. Seth was an animal for vape liquids that tasted like that fruity circular cereal that you would always buy as a kid. At least most kids bought it, my mom was a penny pincher so we always bought generic cereal from the broke section of the supermarket. You know, the cereal that doesn't even come in a box, just a bag.

I never complained, because I knew how hard my mom worked to provide. My mom grew her own vegetables in her large garden and clipped coupons on Sundays, so she could shop the deals later that evening. I may not have had designer clothes or fancy cereal, but I had all the love I could ask for. I had every shred of respect that my mom could give me and she let me have my freedom. I didn't even have a curfew, because we had trust.

When Seth came into the picture he insisted on meeting my mom. The band and him, came by my house for dinner one Sunday night and my mom made her world-famous pot roast with vegetables. Seth charmed my mom the minute she met him. She didn't see a guy with tattoos and snake bite piercings, which thank god he got rid of those, they always snagged on my hair when he would sneak a smell. She didn't see a guy who had we engaged in anything, it would have been criminal. She saw just Seth.

She saw Seth Carter, who always drove me home after band practice and gigs. She saw the guy, who was always five feet away at all times when we were at any function, especially if alcohol was involved. I guess she saw how he felt about me, even before I did. I think she even knew I was in love with Seth before today, when I was really admitting it to myself, finally.

"I'll tell you what, keep kissing me and I promise by your birthday, I'll even quit this." He jiggled the vape pen in his hand, before taking another long suck on it. He pushed it back into his pocket and threw his arm around my shoulder, leading me into the burger place. The guys were already seated at a large booth and all the eyes in the room were uncomfortably on them.

Yep, everyone in that place was probably convinced that we were there to burn it to the ground.

"Go sit, I'll grab your lunch, since I know you like an open book." Seth headed to the counter as I went over and slid in the booth next to Mickey, who was sipping on his Coke and drumming his fingers on the smooth table top.

When he felt me next to him, he smiled and said, "Took you guys long enough. Food would have been eaten by the time you were done sucking face."

I slapped his arm and laughed, "He was vaping and we both know how long it takes him to shut up. Talk, talk, talk. I couldn't get him in here faster." I did a little movement with my hand, that signaled a mouth talking, causing Mickey to laugh out loud.

Had I not cut that kiss off, we would have burned this town down.

Dear Town. You can thank me later. Sincerely, Talia.

..........................

The drive to NYC wasn't brutal, just long and by the time we reached the hotel, I was ready for a bath and a mini coma. The place the studio put us up in was nice, nothing fancy, but not a rat's nest. I was never the kind of girl that needed fancy things, fast cars, or trust funds. I just needed my mom, my friends, and my guitar; and if I had those things, I felt like I was a millionaire. Since I didn't have my mom anymore, family and my guitar became my two necessities.

"Excuse me sir, but I think there has been a problem with the rooms. The studio only booked two under the name Carter and currently we are full." The lady behind the check-in desk was frantically searching for the reserved third room, which Seth had a confirmation would be available for me.

"I've got an email. It says three rooms, which would have two guys per and a single for her." He motioned to where I was standing back with the band and our luggage carts, which held all our bags and instruments.

"Yes, I see where it was reserved, but something must have happened, because the studio was only billed for two rooms. I can order a cot for a room, but one of you gentlemen is going to have to bunk with her." I could see Seth was highly irritated at the desk, his fist was balled up at his side and he was running his other hand through his hair.

I walked over and placed my hand on his tense arm and his head shot down to look at me, "Seth, it's fine. I'll just have to share with one of you guys."

I heard Mosh pipe up back by the suitcases, "Yeah, Picks can room with meeeeee!" He wiggled his eyebrows and then burst into laughter, until Seth shot him an I'm going to murder you look.

"No, fuck... Ok, I can do this, we can do this. I'll share." I could hear the nervousness in his voice. We had slept next to each other before, but it wasn't in a room with a door that automatically locked to the outside world. Let's hope temptation didn't get the best of us this trip.

Once we had our room keys and Mosh and Mickey were done doing their rendition of Titanic, where Mosh would jump on the luggage cart and Mickey would push him down the hall while they hummed Celine Dion, we made our way in to deposit the gear. The room I was in had two really nice queen-sized beds and a pretty decent view. It had a reasonable minibar, but there was no way in hell I was touching that. That crap bankrupted you at the end of your stay and I was perfectly capable of walking my butt to a store and buying a chocolate bar for a buck.

I threw my bag down on the bed closest to the window and Seth hurriedly deposited his stuff heading out to meet the rest of the guys downstairs in the bar area. Since I wasn't of age, room service would be my ticket to sustenance for the evening. I took my time in the bathroom, washing the gunk of a long drive off of me and then changed into my oversized Black Flag t-shirt and sleeping shorts. I threw my wet hair up into a messy bun and pulled the in-room menu over to the bed.

With a personal sized pepperoni pizza and a Coke on order and quickly up to the room, I thumbed through the hotel television, realizing that their current selection of movies were ones I had already seen a hundred times. Apparently, television wasn't on my menu for the evening. It had been a few hours since Seth left for the bar, so I decided that I felt like playing a bit before bed.

I pulled out my acoustic from its cradle and sat on the edge of the bed. I tuned and started playing Social Distortion's "Reach For The Sky," my fingers picking the strings during the intro, while I held the pick in my mouth. Halfway through the song, I heard the keycard in the slot of the door and he entered my space and my moment.

He wasn't drunk, which was a good thing, but I saw his eyes and the desire that were in them. He always got that look when I played. Usually, we weren't in such an intimate setting; usually it was one that was easily fixed by shifting the conversation or a few kisses. I hoped a few kisses would solve it tonight.

He pulled up a chair in front of where I sat and just watched me sing and play. When I was done he bent to his side and opened up his own acoustic guitar case, pulling his old guitar from its case.

"I absolutely love to hear you sing, Picks. It feels like it has been forever since we played together." He tuned his guitar, giving me a really sexy smirk while he adjusted each peg.

"What did you have in mind, Seth?"

"If I Ever Leave This World Alive, on 3..... 2..... 1." When he made his request out loud, I knew why he did it almost immediately.

We once had a conversation about a bunch of future what ifs. You know the kind of talk where someone says what if one day we fell in love, what song would I sing you? What if one day we got married, what song would we dance to? What if I died, what song would you sing me at my funeral? The answer to all those questions was simple in Seth's mind; Flogging Molly's "If I Ever Leave This World Alive," was the answer to all his hypothetical what ifs.

Somehow, in that hotel room, in that city, all those hypothetical what ifs were now his way of saying he no longer wanted hypotheticals.

D...............

D...............

G.....................D

G............................D

..............A....................

........Bm..............G

I sang and Seth played alongside me, staring into my eyes the whole time. His beautifully green eyes burned holes into my soul and filled those holes with a sense of completeness. I searched his face, memorizing each detail about him at that moment. The way his hair was falling into his eyes, the way his lips were slightly apart, the tension of his muscular arms as his hands played, and the intensity in his eyes like this was the last moment he had left on this planet.

"So when in doubt just call my name

Just before you go insane"

Those were the words that ended it for Seth. Those simple words, once they left my lips they erased any hypothetical what ifs that may have clung to the air around us. There was no longer promises meant to be broken. Those simple words and what they brought out of Seth, told me that he was mine and had always been.

I couldn't even finish playing the song before he had dropped his guitar on the ground and was liberating me from mine.

I didn't even have a chance to breathe.

I only had the brief moment before he slammed his lips onto mine.

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A/N: Hey Guys!

Hope you liked the chapter, don't forget to click the star and leave comments :)

So... Um.... Yeah....Not a whole lot to say, except I'm a little worried that the 18-pact may be headed out the door next chapter... We will see.

Thoughts on Seth? I wanted to give you guys a little background on who he was outside of his music badassery. Seth is actually my favorite character to write because he's so complex underneath the sheen of rocker bad boy.

Thoughts on their relationship? Are you Team Salia?

<3 until next time ;)

Here is Seth and Talia's what if song, if you're interested.

https://youtu.be/3klqa1_T6_o