There was no possible way to stop her. They were all aware of that. There was no holding her back, no way to talk her out of it. No slowing her down or telling her to take a deep breath and think for a second. No telling her no. She was determined to do this, determined to find Shang before Shredder did. Because if Shredder got to him before she'd had a chance to tell him what was going on...

Madi didn't want to think about that. That was a worry for another time.

She didn't pack up much.

All she would take with her on this journey would be a few pictures including the newest one from her mother, the burnt baby blanket, some non-perishable food items, a few bottles of water, her two beautiful twin kamas, a spare black kunoichi outfit, and her t-phone. Not a lot, but it would last her through the plane ride there and the first day or two. Until she could trade her American money for Japanese currency and buy food there.

She was recounting all of her non-perishable protein bars when there was a knock on her bedroom door. She didn't turn around to face the person in the doorway, just stopped what she was doing, closed her eyes, and sighed a deep, painful sigh.

Madi wasn't in the mood for good-byes. She'd just gotten over the first hellos. A little more than twenty-four hours. That's how long she'd lasted. A little over a day. And she was already being pulled into action, into another heart-breaking farewell. She hadn't even slept in her bed yet, and she was already leaving again for who-knew how long. It wasn't that she didn't want to go, she was determined to find her lost family before the enemy did. But to be going again so soon...

"There's no point in trying to talk me out of it." She spoke to the person in the doorway, not even sure who she was addressing yet. Her back was still facing them, her hands gripping a protein bar tightly in her fingers. "I'm going. And I'm going alone. He's my brother." If she'd known any better, she would've felt like she was convincing herself that more than the individual at her threshold. "I can't let Shredder get to him first." She shoved the protein bar into her bag.

There was a long silence. It wasn't awkward. It was depressed and lonely and anything but pleasant. Like sitting a funereal, how everyone is grieving over the same thing and everyone knows that no words can change what happened. The silence was understanding. But not awkward.

Then they were gone, soundless, like a ghost in the wind. She never heard them leave, but their presence behind her disappeared subtly. It was so quick and quiet and sudden. Madi didn't even know who it had been. 

When she turned around and saw the doorway empty of life, she started doubting that anyone had even been there in the first place.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The first plane headed for Japan wasn't due to leave for a few hours, giving Madi some time to double-check her packed items, think a bit, triple-check her packed items again, worry about the trip ahead of her, check her stuff once more. It was stressful and she found herself wishing to be back in that secluded oasis with Splinter, if only for a few more minutes of peace.

"Madi?" She heard a knock at her door and recognized the uneasy voice of Mikey standing on the other side of the barrier. "Can I come in?" She looked at the clock hanging on her wall and saw that, officially, she had little more than two hours before she'd leave the lair and head for the airport. More than enough time to have a conversation with her pizza buddy.

Her hand wrapped around the doorknob and she pulled the large piece of wood open. She didn't frown or scowl at the sight of him. He wasn't who she was mad at, after all. Mikey didn't deserve her scorn- her mother did for keeping such a secret from herself. So Madi smiled sadly and nodded her head for the turtle to enter her room. He did so and sat down on the side of her bed. A moment of silence passed between them after the girl shut the door and leaned her back against the wall.

"So..." Mikey sighed, his eyes on the floor. "Japan."

"Yep." She sighed back in reply. It didn't take too long to notice her friend was on the brink of tears. "But I'll be back soon-"

"That's what you said last time." He sniffled, eyes still locked on the rug. "You missed Christmas. And New Year's. And Valentine's Day. We didn't know if you'd ever come back." She sat down beside him and stared at the floor as well. She couldn't image how hard it had been for him, for them. Separation was never a fun thing. Especially when you have no contact what so ever and don't know whether the other person is alive or not. Along with Raph being in a coma for most of the time? It must've been a nightmare for the poor guy.

"Mikey-"

"And now you're just leaving again. You haven't even been here a full week, not even three days, and you're already off on some new adventure while the rest of us stay behind and wonder whether or not you'll live through it. Whether or not we'll live through it." The orange-masked turtle lifted his head and she saw the tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. A small gasp escaped her lips and her heart began to ache at the fact that she'd made one of her best friends cry. The most innocent of them all. "You don't know how bad it was when you guys left." He snuffled and wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his green hand.

"But Splinter's back now. You have him again-"

"That's not what I meant!" He got to his feet and faced her. "We were friends!"

"Mikey," She could feel her heart being ripped from her chest as she tried to do some damage control. "We still are. And friends keep each other safe. We need someone to investigate what's going on in Japan and I don't want you to get hurt."

"What happens when you come home in a body-bag?" He snarled. Madi couldn't believe it. He actually snarled at her. Mikey, the fun-loving, goofy trickster of the group was furious for once. And his fury was directed at herself. She couldn't help but be shocked on multiple levels. "Or a crate in a bunch of tiny pieces? What happens to us then? What happens to April? Jacob? What happens to Donnie? Your mother? Me? Raph?"

"What happens is you guys live another day and are grateful that no one else is coming home in pieces, either." Madi got to her feet as well, towering over the smaller turtle though they were nearly the same height. "This is my fight. Between me and my father. My sister. My brother, if I don't get to him first. Do you know what it's like to have to fight a family member, knowing that it could be to the death and you're not sure which one of you will be the last one standing?" Her voice was low now, almost a growl. "I've been at war with my blood-family since I could walk. You will never understand that. So please, let me keep my real family safe." Her hand rested on his shoulder and her expression softened. "If I lost you guys, any of you, I would never be able to live with myself."

"But we can't live without you."

"Yes, you can. You've been doing it for the last few months."

"That wasn't living. That was suffering."