Exhaustion rippled through my body. I'd been pummeled against Westside's defense too many times at last night's football game. Didn't help they had some three-hundred-pound kid playing defensive lineman.

It had been a good game. We'd come out on top despite it all and two sacks against me. Barely. My teammates were still texting about the Hail Mary I'd thrown to Bart to win the game to keep us from going into overtime.

After going home, I'd sunk into my bed, too exhausted even to shower. I'd woken up in the middle of the night to shouts.

Dad stormed into my room at four in the morning. He was carrying his belt and loomed over me menacingly.

"Explain," he shoved his phone under my nose. "NOW!"

Blinking my bleary eyes, I read over the text messages on the screen between my parents.

My mind went blank. Visiting Mom right before a game had become a bit of a tradition for me. I'd missed part of practice with the coach's blessing.

Mom and I had talked about school and her brother's play. I'd mentioned that Uncle Anton was trying to get me interested in a college summer theater program. Apparently, Mom thought Dad should know about this tiny detail.

"We were talking about Uncle Anton," I said. "I wasn't serious, sir."

Dad grabbed my shoulder and hauled me out of bed. "Better not have been. I am not paying for some crack theater school. You need a good career like engineering or law like me."

"Dad," I said, wrenching my arm from his grasp. "I'm not going to school for theater. There's no need to yell. You'll wake the girls."

"That uncle of yours is filling your head with nonsense," Dad swore under his breath. "I should pull you from that stupid production of his. My tax dollars shouldn't pay his salary."

"If you pull me from that program, I have to give up football or shop class to take choir, art, or band to get a fine arts credit to graduate," I said.

We'd had this conversation before. Dad thought football was my best chance of getting into college, and he swore that shop would help me on my way to becoming an engineer. The school just didn't count shop as a fine art.

"I can call the school and get them to change," Dad said.

"It's a state requirement," I reminded him.

Dad scowled. "I'll lobby our congressmen."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He'd already done that. It was his way of "winning" this argument we'd had a dozen times in the past month.

It was too hard to go back to sleep after Dad left my room. All his yelling had woken Maddy, and she'd come into my room to curl up in my bed.

When I left my room at six am, nothing came out of the tap when I went to make coffee in the kitchen. That meant Dad turned the water off again as "punishment." It also was a great hint that we needed to get out of the house as soon as possible.

Lilly was already out of bed and dressed for the morning. She looked a little tired but awake enough. Maddy was following her like a lost puppy in unicorn pajamas.

"Get dressed," I said. "We're going out for donuts."

"Donuts?" Maddy smiled.

I had enough money. It was Dad's money. He wouldn't take that away from me if it made him look poor. Same with my Jeep.

Lilly looked knowingly at the bone-dry coffee pot in my hand but told Maddy to find some clothes. Once Maddy trotted up to her room, Lilly ran her good hand down her face.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Mom mentioned that theater program to Dad," I said.

Lilly's eyes went wide. "How did he take it?"

I shrugged. "He's done worse. The bulk of it is the water. We'll get donuts. Then we can drop Maddy off at her soccer game at eight and Mary at her friend's house."

"You smell," Lilly wrinkled her nose and backed away from me. "Why in the world didn't you shower after the game or even at school?"

"I was tired, and it's hard being around my happy teammates when our world is casually falling apart at the seams," I said. "It was stupid, I know. I'll shower at the theater."

"Rehearsal isn't until noon," Lilly said.

"We can be early," I said.

Lilly laughed sarcastically. "Cause that won't tip off Uncle Anton at all."

I sighed and glanced out the window at my jeep. Mary was sleeping in the passenger seat. "Can you get Mary out of my car?"

"Again?" Lilly blew out her cheeks.

She walked out the front door, bawling her one good fist. We both had to keep it together for the younger girls, but that didn't mean it was easy. I changed into cleaner clothes and packed more for rehearsal in my backpack.

When I returned downstairs, Maddy kicked her legs on a stool in her soccer uniform. She had a game this morning, followed by lunch and games with the team. It probably wasn't the best idea to feed my sister donuts before a big game, but I didn't really care. Sugar would distract her from our problems at home.

Lilly got Mary upstairs to dress and sank into a chair in the kitchen. I looked at the family calendar. Mary had a science project/ playdate at her friend Lena's house, taking up most of the day.

Lilly and I strived to fill our schedules and Maddy and Mary's activities. I had football and theater. Lilly used to have volleyball, which she replaced with theater and copious amounts of girls' nights on the weekends. Mary did scouts and dance and had art classes on Sundays. Maddy did dance, soccer, and voice lessons.

Mom used to ferry around the girls before she had to be hospitalized full-time. Lilly was a few months out from getting her driver's license. Dad was already bragging about the cute little Volkswagen he would buy her for her sweet sixteen.

Once everyone was dressed and piled in my jeep, I drove to Sweetie Mimi's Donut and Creamery. They served Mom's two favorite foods there: donuts and ice cream.

I ordered a dozen glazed donuts and a chocolate maple log in honor of Mom. Maddy laughed and threw chunks of sugar at Mary as I ate a glazed donut.

As we waited, I flipped open my phone. There was a text from Mom like there was every morning. Just a simple smiley face.

"Let's make a video for Mom," I said. "To show her the donut we got her."

Mary smiled for the first time that morning. She loved being behind a camera. I handed her my phone while she framed the perfect shot. Maddy made goofy faces and stuck her fingers behind Lilly to give her bunny ears.

"Three, two, one," Mary said.

"Hi, Mommy!" Maddy said, holding up the chocolate maple log. "We got you a donut."

"Mimi's isn't the same without you," Lilly said. "Jack is terrible at ordering for everyone. I mean, look at these plain donuts. He didn't even care I wanted a latte."

I shoved my sister playfully. "We miss you, Mom. And we love you."

"Get well soon," Mary chimed in.

My grin nearly faltered before Mary shut off the camera, and I sent the video to Mom. Lilly and I knew, but Dad, in his one moment of humanity, asked us not to tell Mary and Maddy that Mom didn't have much time left.

I tried to smile as I dropped Maddy off at her soccer game and Mary at Lena's house. The movement was uncomfortable. Once they were gone, Lilly let out a huff.

"You okay?" She asked.

"I just wish..." I trailed off. I'll drop you off at Sully's down the street from the theater. I doubt Uncle Anton packed a lunch, and we'll want something to eat in a bit. I'll shower, and we can put this whole mess behind us."

"You're deflecting," Lilly said.

Running was easy. Pain wasn't something I liked to wallow in or think about. Lilly liked to process it and talk about her issues. I was the opposite.

"I want ham, and you know what Uncle Anton likes," I said, pulling into Sully's parking lot.

Lilly just shook her head. "Fine."

She got out of the car, and I drove down the street to the theater. She could walk the half block and still be over an hour early to rehearsal.

Uncle Anton's beat-up red suburban was in the parking lot. I walked into the theater. My uncle stood center stage with at least a dozen papers in his hands.

When he saw me, he said, "You're here early again. Where's Lilly?"

"I sent her to buy us some sandwiches down the street," I said. "Roast beef for her, ham for me, and cold-cut turkey for you, old man."

"And Mary and Maddy?" He looked back down at his papers.

I sighed. "Mary's at a playdate, and Maddy's got a soccer game."

Anton stepped down off the stage. He set his mess of papers on his director's table. He picked up his script copy, and I saw a jumble of highlighting and notes.

His eyes were serious as he looked at me. "How is my sister?"

"Mom's last diagnosis was between two to three weeks," I said. "The doctor said yesterday that she might go sooner. Dad was upset about that."

"He's worse than she is," Uncle Anton shook his head. "And you're okay, too?"

He looked me up and down as if searching for bodily harm. I'd healed up from my encounter with Juan well enough, and Dad hadn't laid a hand on me since.

"I'm fine," I reassured him. "We're fine. It's all good."

"Jack Garrison, I've known you since you were born," Uncle Anton crossed his arms, "Don't lie to me."

"Even if she gets well..." I curbed that thought because the truth was, she wouldn't get better. "It doesn't change what he did. What he does..."

"Jack..." Uncle Anton moved forward as if to hug me.

I stepped backward. "I came to clean up Uncle Anton. Lilly probably should, too, after rehearsal. I'm going to shower."

Before he could ask any more questions, I made my way backstage to be alone. Uncle Anton couldn't help me. I had to be the man my father couldn't. The one who held everything together.

Entering the bathroom, I let the door slam behind me. I pulled open the shower curtain and pounded my fist against the wall. Mom was closer to death every day. Dad was getting worse, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

The spray from the shower nozzle sounded like an overpressured fire hose, and it was just loud enough to hide my sob. My tears mingled with the water as I worked hard to rebuild myself before I could be torn down once again.