The halls of the school felt hollow. I'd arranged with my coach to skip practice and work on catching up on what I missed in class before rejoining the team.

The coach's wife, Mrs. Willownbury, was hosting me in her home economics room two hours before school started. My stack of homework contained a few algebra worksheets, some physics, and about seventy pages of The Grapes of Wrath to read.

It wasn't enough time. Not even close. I was reasonably certain that I wouldn't bomb today's reading quiz as long as I could focus. If I could focus.

Teachers gave me pitying looks. Students murmured around me. My history teacher, Mr. Kugler, announced to the whole class that I could take all the time I needed to catch up.

No one was brave enough to say anything directly to my face. No one asked what happened. Plenty of whispers followed me around. Theories were swapped about my dad, sisters, and even my mom.

I'd managed for almost my entire high school career for people to overlook my mom's diagnosis. Occasionally, someone would ask how she was doing, but everyone seemed to forget she was in the hospital for the most part. No,w it seemed my classmates were betting on when she'd die and upturn more of my life.

During algebra, I got called to the front office. The principal wanted to remind me that he was doing his best to squash the rumors and that I shouldn't talk about anything that happened to me. His exact words were that he'd "hate for the school to be a place for rumor-mongering and bringing up more unpleasantness."

He tried to get me to see the guidance counselor. I told him I already had a therapist and would see her after school. It was only a half-lie. Ellie and I had scheduled another appointment for tomorrow.

The real nightmare started at lunch. With half the student body swarming over the cafeteria, it was a breeding ground for whispers and shouts. Attempting to avoid all the gossip, I decided to eat in my car.

That's how I found half the football team. They were all sitting around the parking lot, conspicuously gathered near my jeep.

"Jack," Chad called. "Where you been all day, man?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Trying to catch up after missing a few days."

"Coach was saying something about an injured throwing arm," Brandon said. "So, is that true?"

The graze on my arm from the bullet was already healing. I wasn't worried about it, and it wasn't on my throwing arm. I wondered who started that rumor and hoped it wasn't anyone I was close with.

"I'll be fine," I said. "I just came out here to escape the cafeteria."

"When are you coming back to the team?" Chad asked. "There's no way that Reeves will have a good throwing arm when we have to play in two weeks."

I took a deep and calming breath. "Coach wanted me to catch up on school. It's kind of perfect since it's an off-week for football."

The only thing left to worry about was the play this weekend. Assuming we could all even still go to the festival. I wasn't sure my uncle could handle it.

I unlocked my jeep and opened the trunk. The guys all stared at me as I pulled a book out and closed the trunk. Then I trudged back up to the school, praying they would take a hint.

Wandering out to the back of the gym, I hoped to find quiet. Either that or one of Carson's impromptu band rehearsals.

The band wasn't around, but I did find Carson bopping to music on his big headphones as he poured over a packet of lines. Sitting down next to him, it took him a few minutes to even notice I was there.

I dug into my sandwich and sighed. All the chaos in the world, and this is where I found myself, beside a childhood friend who didn't seem to care about all the troubles I was facing. It was kind of nice to be ignored.

"Saw the football team out by your car," he said when his song finished. "You feeling all right? You usually soak up attention easily."

It wasn't an insult. I was good at taking in praise and managing the school's social calendar. Right now, that just wasn't easy. If I heard one more person talk about prison or blood, I might throw up my lunch.

"It's not so easy when all the attention is on you for these reasons," I said. "Usually, people like me. Now they're just judging my family and me."

"Jack," Carson said. "I can't imagine what you're going through. We all want to be there for you. You need a place to crash where it doesn't feel like the walls are closing in, and I'll make up the couch in my game room. We can get you a meal away from the chaos. We're your friends, Jack."

Carson's promise was good. He'd make up a space for me to sleep like old times when we'd play Halo until dawn, just like when we were in elementary school.

I popped a chip in my mouth. "I don't want to be a burden."

Carson grinned. "Remember third grade? You stood by me when my grandmother passed away. When I cried at school, you were the one who told everyone to back off. You aren't a burden, dude. You're my friend."

I'd forgotten about that. Carson had a meltdown on the playground during recess when he saw the other kids playing soccer. His grandmother had taken him to soccer games since he was in diapers. I was the one who chased off the other boys to give Carson room to grieve.

"That was a long time ago," I said.

Carson smiled. "And in ten years, this will have been a long time ago, too. A lot of people owe you, Jack. The rumors will die down. We have your back."

The door behind us opened, and Kai walked out. He sat down beside us and opened a thermos of spicy noodles.

"Did you hear?" He asked.

Carson shook his head. "No, man. No rumors out here."

Did I mention that Carson was an amazing best friend? He understood exactly what I needed without me having to tell him.

Kai frowned. "It isn't about Jack."

"Then what is it?" I asked.

"Shayna ditched the cheerleaders," Kai said. "There was a big blowout yesterday. I heard she was eating alone, but I couldn't find her."

Looking at my sandwich, I sighed. "I don't really want to talk about Shayna right now either."

"She was with you at the hospital, right?" Carson looked at me. "So, how much does she still hate you?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. It was a complicated answer. I didn't know. Shayna hadn't shown any animosity towards me at the hospital, just worry and support. It was weird.

"Not sure," I said. "And I don't much like the idea of her being sorry for me either."

"Well, Shayna sure told the whole cheer squad to shut up about you," Kai said. "Which, as you can guess, sparked more gossip. Half the school is under the impression the two of you buried the hatchet and started dating."

"Trust me," I said. "Dating her would be impossible, as she's seen fit to tell me repeatedly."

"Just be good to her, Jack," Kai said. "She's gone through a lot on her own."

"I know," I said. "Parker saw fit to remind me of that when he was here."

Shayna's brother had come to the hospital for his sister. Parker arrived before she'd gotten back from the theater, and I had to tell him what went down. He'd listened and watched me cry.

It was good to see Parker. I'd always looked up to him like the older brother I never had. He'd been the oldest kid on my flag football team growing up, and he took the time to convince the coach to make me quarterback and taught me a better technique to throw the ball. 

We talked for a good while, and he didn't judge me, unlike his sister. He never did. Then we got the news that my sister had gotten out of surgery, and we wouldn't know the results until she woke up.

Parker had told me that Shayna might have been nice to me now, but she had her reasons for not liking me. Reasons that I realize now were my fault.

What seemed like a million years ago, Parker told me his parents were getting divorced, and I had to step up and be a leader on our flag football team. I'd told one of my teammates in confidence about Parker's challenge for me to step up as a leader on the team.

Over the next week, everyone seemed to know about Parker and Shayna's parents' divorce. However, I'd never assumed it was a secret, much less that it was me who let it loose.

"So you know the reason she hates you?" Kai asked.

I nodded. "I told Hudson Motes that Parker asked me to step up in leadership on our flag football team because Parker would be having a rough time because of his parent's divorce. Apparently, Hudson started the rumors at school, and Shayna felt humiliated."

"Weren't we all... I don't know..." Carson paused, "ten years old?"

"I assumed Parker and Shayna told other people," I said. "But hearing Parker's side, I understand why she thought it was all my fault. Parker didn't know I told Hudson."

"I don't miss that guy," Kai said. "He was always trying to be the leader of the kids in our neighborhood. It was annoying."

Hudson had moved away right before high school. We hadn't been close, but he'd been popular. Kai had lived down the street from the guy.

"Hudson had a broken home if I remember," Carson said. "He might have thought divorce was normal. Wasn't his father on like his third wife at the time? I wouldn't shift all the blame."

It still was my fault. I'd shared something I should have realized was said to me in confidence, making the girl I'd been crushing on since the first grade hate me.

"At the end of the day, it really was my fault," I said. "She has every right to hate me."

"Not so sure she does anymore, buddy," Kai said. "I think there's hope."

I'd see her after school at tomorrow's rehearsal. I could text her, but I didn't want to bring more of my problems to her. There was already too much weight on her shoulders.

Uncle Anton and I had to go down to Mr. Chance's office and discuss the issues and charges against my father after school. Jamie would make sure that the rehearsal today without Anton ran smoothly.

"The bell is about to ring," Carson said. "Hang in there, Jack. I'm rooting for you."

I gathered up my things, and Kai, Carson, and I walked back into the school to face the stormy sea of rumors and gossip.