I didn't think I was nervous. I'd been playing sports and entering competitions since I was five. Then I stepped in line for the monologue contest, and my stomach lurched. Suddenly, Parker's coffee and hot chocolate weren't sitting too well.

Seven or so girls were in front of me, and another dozen stood behind me. Some of them were muttering under their breath. One or two clutched scripts like lifejackets.

"Nervous?" Rita asked me.

"Does it show?" I whispered.

"Nah," Rita said. "You look like you have your game face on."

Jules looked a particularly putrid shade of green. "It's not too late to quit, right?"

"Take a deep breath," Rita said. "In and out like Jamie showed us. We're all going to do fabulous. Pretend the judge is Anton."

Jules rolled their eyes. "It's bad enough the way this contest is organized."

The three of us were competing in the female character bracket. After we were cast, Anton explained that the contest had a bracket of monologues for female characters' monologues and male characters' monologues. The girl's bracket was mostly for Shakespeare's feminine characters like myself, as Rosalind and Jules playing Phoebe, but since we'd gender-swapped Jaques for our production, Rita was also in the female character bracket. 

Jack and Juan were in the male character bracket. I didn't envy them. I'd seen how many guys were headed into the other monologue tent on the way over here. At least Jules and Rita had a higher chance of proceeding into the next round in the female character bracket. 

"We're going to do great," I said, hoping if I faked confidence, it would flow naturally. 

I muttered Jamie's rhyme under my breath, focusing on the part that reminded us to all have fun. After repeating the rhyme the sixth time, I felt both silly and calm.

"What's so fun about a monologue contest?" The girl in front of me turned around.

She was short with a head of wavy brown hair streaked with red. Her blue shirt had a green lion and the logo for Florin High School.

Florin was about an hour north of Crestview High School. We played them in football once a year. They'd beaten us last year in the regional semifinals.

"It's just a rhyme," I said.

"You're like taking this way too seriously," the girl twirled one of her red streaks around her finger.

"I want to do my best," I said.

The girl flipped her hair. "Well, I guess some people have to try. I'm here to raise my English grade. My teacher said if I went to the contest, she'd make sure I made an A."

"Oh," I said. "What production are you doing?"

"This gender-swapped version of Julius Caesar," she said. "Our director says it's a very bold aim trying to flip genders in Ancient Rome. I'm Hanna Grace, by the way. What show are y'all doing?"

"I'm Shayna Porter," I said. "We're doing As You Like It."

"Isn't that the one from the movie Never Been Kissed?" Hanna Grace wrinkled her nose. "I'd much rather be doing a musical anyhow."

A tall, bony-looking woman walked out of the tent dressed in a suit. She frowned and looked at the line of hopefuls about to recite monologues.

"Come on in and take a seat," she said. "We're starting in two minutes."

The line filed into the tent quickly. I saw four rows of white folding chairs. Rita, Jules, and I found seats together on the second row and waited for everyone else.

"This seems drab," Jules said. "But at least it's not a stage."

"That's if you get selected in the top five," Rita said.

Jules swallowed. "Thanks for the reminder."

"You're going to do fine," I said. "All the world's a stage."

"Right," Jules still looked sick, but their breathing was steadier.

Hanna Grace leaned back from the seat in front of us and grinned. "Break a leg."

Jules muttered something about breaking legs under their breath that certainly didn't sound like they were wishing Hanna Grace good luck.

"You too," I said, trying to smooth things over as the woman in the suit walked to the front of the tent.

"If you are selected in the top five, you will perform on stage as a group sets up their scene," she said. "We'll announce the winners of the boys and girls monologue contest after the scenes are done and then tell you which three schools get to perform their entire play this afternoon."

"No pressure," Hanna Grace said a little too loudly.

"When I call your name, come up and begin your monologue until I ask you to stop," the judge continued. "We need to do this quickly. If, for some reason, the monologue slips your mind and you pause for more than six seconds or miss more than a few words, I'll ask you to stop. First up, Lenore Trevor from Shoal Cove High."

A mousy-haired girl made her way to the front of the room. She started one of the bemoaning Ophelia monologues from Hamlet. After Lenore came a lanky girl who recited one of Gertrude's pieces in such an overly dramatic fashion that it was cringe-worthy. Then came a short girl who stumbled through The Player Queen's speech so much that the judge clicked her tongue and stopped her.

The poor girl burst into tears and had to be helped back to her seat by the lanky girl. I wondered how much she'd practiced only to fail here at the competition.

I'd told Jack on the bus that I wasn't nervous. That was a lie now. I was beginning to regret that caffeine more and more. My stomach felt like it was filled with live bees.

The A Midsummer Night's Dream group was solid in all their monologues. The Tempest group had two students who were asked to stop because their nerves got the best of them, but they had one girl who performed one of Ariel's monologues perfectly. Then, the judge called up Rita.

"Wish me luck," Rita said and marched to the front of the tent with determination. "My name is Rita Finch. I'm from Crestview, and I'll be performing as Jaques from As You Like It."

Whether faked or not, Rita's confidence translated into her monologue elegantly. She'd managed to capture her character in a commanding but understated manner. Every eye in the room was drawn to her performance. Even the judge nodded when she finished, so I figured she must have done well.

Jules and I cheered while the rest of the girls clapped. I gave Rita a high five as she sat back down.

"You did so well," I whispered.

"Thanks," she said. "I was nervous."

"Couldn't tell," I said.

The judge made a few notes on her paper before referring to the names on her clipboard. "Juliet Evans."

Jules flinched at their deadname and got up. Usually, only substitutes and teachers on the first day called her Juliet since the school refused to update their records. They always gave anyone using it a withering stare and told them their preferred name. 

In her costume as Phoebe, Jules looked pale as they made their way to the front of the room. Their hands shook slightly before they took a deep breath. 

"My name is Jules Evans," they said, balling their quaking hands into fists at their sides. "I'm from Crestview, and I'll be performing as Phoebe from As You Like It."

Then, they took a deep breath and recited their monologue. While it wasn't as smooth as Rita's, they didn't miss a line. They let out a long breath and released their fists to let the blood flow back into their now chalk-white fingers when they were done.

Rita and I cheered, and Rita congratulated them as Jules sat down. The judge wrote a few things down and then consulted her list. "Shayna Christian-Porter."

So apparently, Anton had registered all of us under our legal names. I should have realized that when the judge called for Juliet. That meant Christian-Porter, the lovely name that reminded me of my parent's divorce, would be following me around all day. I tried not to let that shake me as I got out of my seat.

My legs carried me to the front of the room. I glanced down at my name tag. I hadn't looked at it earlier. Sure enough, my legal name, Shayna Christian-Porter, was printed under Hillard Shakespeare Festival and Crestview High School.

I wished Parker was here. Unfortunately, the only audience allowed for the monologue preliminary were the other contestants and the judge, a heavy-set woman with a bob, who was frowning at me. I hoped to all the stars there wasn't something caught in my curls.

Standing here, I realized I needed to start. Watching all these girls stare at me was a little awkward. If Parker could accept our full name, for the time being, I could too.

I took a deep breath. "My name is Shayna Christian-Porter. I am from Crestview, and I will be performing as Rosalind from As You Like It."

Then, I stuck my pose as Rosalind, addressed the audience, and started my monologue.

It seemed to be both the longest and shortest moment of my life. I couldn't tell anyone how I did. Later, Rita and Jules confirmed it was one of my best runs, and based on the other students' applause, I assumed I'd done all right.

Once I was back in my chair, and Jules was patting me on the back, I still couldn't remember more than the blank stare of the judge. My panicked brain regurgitated the monologue from some recess of my brain and returned me to my seat.

The Othello, Romeo and Juliet, and The Taming of the Shrew groups passed in a blur afterward. Jules and Rita practically had to guide me back to the tent where the rest of the cast waited.

"How'd you do?" Jack asked me.

"Probably horrible," I said. "I don't remember. Is it bad I don't really remember the performance?"

"You did great," Rita reassured me.

"I'm sure you're too hard on yourself," Jack said. "Juan did the best in our group, I think. There were a lot of good and hard monologues in the boys' tent. I doubt I made it in the top five."

"She did great," Rita said. "Hugh is waiting on the posting. He said he'd text me the results."

We moved the rest of the set pieces into the holding position for our single scene. Then we waited. According to Anton, we were the second group performing. That meant we had to be ready at 9:45 to go right after Kirby Academy's scene from A Midsummer Night's Dream.

"I got it," Rita said. "Wow, they announced the order you'll be going between groups. This is going to be interesting."

As Rita handed me the phone, my hand shook, and I read the listing.