That's the ideal meeting...once upon a time, only once, unexpectedly, then never again.

– Helen Oyeyemi

It is seven and I'm sitting in a café in this wintery cold evening. It is all colder since I've just been dumped. Well, not exactly now. I was dumped eight months back and this has increased my count of failed relationships to four, which I think for a twenty-six-year-old woman is pretty high. And to add to that, only one of them lasted for three years. The other three were all short-lived romances, and I was cheated in one.

I was cheated in my longest relationship, too.

It was heart-breaking.

Like, have you fallen in love with someone and thought okay, this is it, this is the person I'm going to marry because everything about this relationship seems perfect, as if nothing can go wrong and it is meant to last? I thought exactly the same when I was with Peter, that he was the one for me, the man I would get married to. But what I never realised was that maybe that's not what Peter felt and thought – for him, I was the biggest source of his insecurities and a sight of envy. When we met, I was almost twenty-three, about to graduate Law student who already had a pre-placement offer from a reputed firm I had earlier interned with. I had my life sorted. He didn't. He was twenty-five, three years my senior, yet was unable to land a job. He was an architect but due to his low GPA and lack of experience, the only job interviews he could land were for start-ups or menial job positions which wouldn't even pay him well. Though, this didn't matter to us when we began to go out, it hit us with full force in a couple of years.

Two years into the relationship and I knew Peter was the one for me – I was in Paradise. I had a well-paying job, a family who was proud of me, a place of my own, and most importantly, a boyfriend who loved me like crazy...or so I thought.

It was some time around my 25th birthday that I started noticing the changes in his behaviour. He would always be in a cranky mood and it would take only a slightest silly trivial issue for him to get all mad and angry which wouldn't even resolve for hours, and sometimes for days. He even would pick fights with my family members, particularly my mother, whenever she tried to bring up his career and advice him to take his work more seriously than he usually did. I didn't like his attitude toward my mother – I loved her and as my boyfriend, I wanted him to respect her which he failed to do on several occasions. He would further get catty with my younger siblings and get annoyed whenever I gave them extra pocket money, as if I wasn't the one earning it all and it was his money I was giving away.

Even after almost three years of our relationship, he couldn't manage to stick to one job and kept moving places. It was difficult for him, I knew, but I honestly don't think he tried. I mean yes, I am an ambitious woman and I'm career driven, so I could see through his lousy excuses. But as they say, when you love someone, you turn a blind eye to everything they do. And so I ignored all his flaws and mistakes, till it became too hard to avoid anymore.

One of my friends, who hardly liked Peter, once informed me that she had seen my boyfriend with someone in a rather intimate fashion. Of course, I didn't believe her. I knew Peter was a flawed person, but he wouldn't cheat on me. He loved me, didn't he? But I was wrong. He did cheat on me, with someone who I can never blame because if the problem lied with the man I put my faith in, how can I hold the woman at fault? It even made sense as to why he skipped my 25th birthday which mattered a big deal to me as I have been promoted from an intern to a junior associate. He should've been there, but he used the pretext of work to leave me stranded on a day I wanted to share my happiness with him.

I don't know what came over me, but I remember calling him after crying the whole day and finally confronting him about everything that I've been hearing about him through my and his friends. One person could lie, but if each one of them had more or less the same story to tell, then maybe there was a problem. And it lied with Peter.

We fought.
We yelled.
We cursed.
We cried.
We broke up.
Just like that.

Although, it was more like I was dumped, he had already begun dating Sandra, the woman my friends and his friends have spotted him with on several occasions. It mattered hardly a bit to me, because by then, I was done with this thing called love and men. Four failed relationships and only broken heart to heal, I don't think running after men would yield anything.
So, I gave up.
Love.
Relationships.
And my dreams to have a happy family.

"Excuse me, miss."
A soothing voice breaks my chain of thoughts (more like my mental rant) as I look up to find a man hovering over my table, looking at me with a tiny smile. It makes me a little self-conscious...he's handsome.

"Yes?" I answer, my eyes unconsciously gazing at his manly facial features. Wait, didn't I just say few minutes back that I've given up on men? No, I can't be falling for this man. No! But he's so good-looking! Damn, you Clare Lauren, for once don't fall flat for a handsome man! I mean c'mon, what good have men even done for you? No, no!

"Excuse me?"

"Err...yes?"

"Would you mind if I take a seat on this table? Umm...as you can see, the café's almost full. So, will it be okay if I sit here?" this God of a man asks me, in a manner so polite that must be foreign to Peter, who in our very first meeting was just sloppy in his manners. I guess I was drunk when I was with him. And yes, I should be happy that I dodged a bullet. "Miss?"

"Ah...sure." I answer. Jeez, I need to stop talking to myself. It's kind of embarrassing...actually, completely.

He settles across me, it's a table for two. I don't know what it is about him, but I honestly can't take my eyes off of him. He's dressed smartly, a pair of dark pants with a white shirt and a beige blazer, he seems like a guy from some MNC who can never honestly leave work. He even has a Bluetooth tucked on his right ear, busy guy must he be. And attractive. Did I tell you all he has this cute aura around him of a happy little child? No, I'm not saying he's like a child, but he has that cuteness and he's sexy. What a lethal combo! And I should really stop gazing at him! I just hope he doesn't notice because if he does, I'll seem like a creep which I'm not, I assure you. I just...I'm just appreciating his out-of-the-world looks. And no, I'm not someone who goes after only looks. It's just that...he's the first man I've met who has such manly, well defined appearance and he's charming. Okay, I should shut up.

To distract myself, I turn around to see the crowd in this café. Well, he's right, the café's completely full. It's bustling with people who doesn't seem to realise that this old Boho café cannot accommodate more people than it already has. Maybe, they're here for the very same reason that I'm here for – to escape for a while, from everything that doesn't seem to be doing any good to anyone of us. I'm not sure if I can really explain this to you in words, but there's something about this café, which has stood the test of time by surviving for last 70 years...it makes you feel better, no matter how difficult and rough life has been on you. It does that for me every single time I've come here, be it after my break ups or the failures that I've seen quite regularly in life. I mean, yes, I'm in a good place but I've had my share of failures and I'm not ashamed of them either. It's just that, sometimes I don't like being reminded of them when I want to feel proud of myself for everything I have withstood and still emerged strong – be it at work or in my love life. I guess life really isn't fair to anyone, isn't it?

"Do you like this book?" I hear my co-guest ask. I've brought a copy of French Lieutenant's Woman by John Fowles since it was the only book I felt like reading today. It's a good read and I hate men...well, at least all the boys I've loved before. "I've read it a few years back, it was...an amusing read."

"It indeed is. Sarah is badass."

"She is, although, I kind of didn't like her treatment of Charles."

"Well, I don't think I can agree with you completely...but yeah, it was a little cold."

"A little? Okay."

"Which is your favourite ending in this novel? You know I really love the idea of multiple endings, though, it can be a little jarring for the readers at first."

"I see. My favourite ending was the 3rd one. I really like the way Sarah handled the situation, it was quite unlikely of her time."

"I thought you didn't like her."

"I didn't say I don't like her, I do and the last ending suits her badass personality. It's just that I wanted Charles to get some sort of solace, at least a little."

"Oh."

"By the way, I'm Robin Kim," he introduces himself, his lips curled into a smile. Did you hear that, it sounded like something fell to the floor? Oh, it was me. I fell flat for this man. "And you, Miss Sarah Woodruff?"

"Well, I so wished I was Sarah, but I'm not. I'm Clare Lauren. Nice to meet you, Mr. Kim."

"Pleasure's all mine."

"So, what do you do for a living?"

"Umm, I'm an ex-serviceman, currently working in corporate. You?"

"Oh, well, I'm a junior associate in K&M Law Firm."

"Nice. So...."

And so, we talk. For hours. In this café. Over multiple cups of latté and chocolates brownies and lemon tarts. From books to movies to music, I don't know what all we talked about. We just clicked together and I'm happy we did because as we talk, I kind of start to feel better than I did when I came to this café today. I don't know how, but being here, talking with this man, I feel lighter and positive. Am I falling in love again? No, no. I'm kidding. But he seems like a great guy.

While discussing about our favourite books, he told me that he used to serve with Marine Corps and was a commissioned officer. But because he could no longer deal with the stress of his job and the trauma he had suffered, he chose to leave it for good after 14 years of service (which means he's at least 10 years my senior). However, he still finds it difficult to settle back into civilian life of a corporate guy that he has chosen. The transition from military life to civilian life is difficult for him, even after a long year. He's struggling, just like me. For some reason, I find that comforting, that I'm not alone. That he is like me. You know right that misery in unity is kind of a thing, like when you know someone is suffering too, it somehow makes you feel better. As humans, we always try to find ways to lessen our pain, our suffering, and maybe, to have someone who's suffering just as we are, is nothing short of a relief. I guess maybe that's why he chose to come here today...and I'm glad.

I absolutely have no idea for how long we talked. I only can guess it from the now empty streets outside that it's already late and that I should go home. Well, it is late. It's almost midnight.

"I think I should go now. It's already midnight," I say as I start collecting my stuff that I haven't really bothered to care for the last few hours. I honestly do not want to leave, but I'll have to since every good thing has to come to an end. I wish this wouldn't. I like Robin, he's a pretty engaging conversationalist...at least, with me.

"Should I walk you to your car...it's quite late," he offers politely. I'm not sure if I should accept his offer. I mean I like him and all but letting him escort me to my car in that dimly lit parking lot at this time...of course, I'll accept it. He's an ex-serviceman, I think I can trust him. I kinda don't want to get my car alone. Yes, I'm a feminist and I'm all women's right. But the truth is, I still need a man's privilege to safeguard myself. And between the choice of staying alive under his privilege or dying while trying to get my right on street, I'll go for the former because we all know the ground reality. I don't want to die like this.

We walk quietly to my car, a little awkward now as we no longer seem to have words between the two of us to discuss. I wish we had, because this silence is perplexing after what we've shared. Yeah, yeah, we just talked for hours because we like similar things. But, it's still special for me because never in my life have I ever been able to have a conversation with a man where I didn't feel like I was being mansplained, instead, he listened. Everything that I had to say. And respected my opinion. Is he even real?

"Will it be alright if I were to ask for your contact number? I really enjoyed our discussion today, maybe we can have a follow-up in future," I say as we reach my car, a little hesitant because I'm not sure if he'll be okay with us exchanging our phone numbers. See, it happens many a times that you find someone and absolutely enjoy conversing with them for the time you're together, but that necessarily doesn't translate into anything more than that. Sometimes, it's only a one time thing. However, the regret of not taking the risk is anyway more distressing. The worst he can do is turn down my request and never meet me again, like as if we'll ever run into each other again.

"Sure, I was about to ask you the same," he answers, scratching the back of his neck. Is he just as fiddly as me? Maybe.

We exchange our contact details and say adios. I wonder if I'll ever contact him or if he'll contact me first, but whatever it is, today was a good day. And I think, it'll be on my mind for quite some days or until we meet again.