Vanessa

"Matt hates me," I sobbed as I rinsed off a ceramic plate before gently setting it in the rack by the sink to dry. It was finally Christmas Break and Addison was standing there in the kitchen watching me do the dishes after dinnertime.

She hopped up onto the counter and pulled a nail file out of her purse, beginning to saw at a jagged fingernail. "V, is this like the time you said you two were getting married?"

I turned away from the sink to face her, placing my hands on my hips and narrowing my eyes. "No, Addison. It's not. He actually yelled at me and called me a bad friend." My lip began quivering at the memory of anger flashing in his steely eyes and I shuddered. He had never looked at me that way before and if I was being honest, I never wanted him to look at me that way again. It made me sick to think that my love could despise me like that. I was furious with myself for ruining any chances I may have had with him.

Grasping my hand with the other, I stared down at it and recalled how not even two days prior, Matt had held it. I didn't know what it meant but it made me wonder if maybe just maybe, there was the slightest of chances that he could feel something for me too. Then of course, I had opened my mouth like an idiot and blew all chances of that happening to smithereens.

Addison arched an eyebrow, looking up from her filing to study me. "He said that to you?" She shook her head as she glanced back down at her fingers, holding them out in front of her to inspect for any more flaws. "What is the matter with that boy," she muttered.

She slid her gaze back onto me, the frown on her lips the only imperfection on her beautiful face. "Why did he say that to you though?"

I shook out a handful of utensils before placing them in the dish drain as I bit my lip. "Well, you see, he kind of got mad at me because I told him that I didn't like everyone staring at me when we got out to his car the other day. Then he got really pissed because I ditched him for you and that's when he said I was a lousy friend."

Addison's mouth fell open as she stared at me, her emerald eyes wide. "Vanessa Jane," she scolded. "I love you to death and would do anything for you but you are completely wrong in this situation. Honestly, if I were Matt, I would be furious with you too."

I took a shrinking step back from the counter as she glared at me and I knew from years of being close to her that she was getting ready to unleash her poison tongue on me. "How selfish can you be," she spat out. "Your friend had people laughing at him as he stood there helplessly in front of his car with the word psychopath keyed into it and instead of being concerned for how that must have made him feel, you were worried that people might be looking at you?"

I took another step back, grabbing the steak knife with me that was lying on the counter next to her. "I...I...uh. That's not true," I stammered weakly. "I cared. I just didn't like the focus on me is all. Is that so wrong?"

She scoffed, curling her lip up at me in disgust. "Oh, and you think Matt was reveling in the attention? God, V. You are so self-absorbed. He has every right to feel hurt over what you did. Don't you think that maybe he needs your support right now instead of you unloading onto him about how the situation made you feel?"

My eyes begin to well up with tears as I dropped my head in my hands. "Why are you being so mean? You know how much I love him, Addie. I wasn't trying to cause him any pain. Honest."

She sighed as she slid off the counter and came over to me. Gently taking the knife from my hand, she held it up for me to see with a smirk on her face before tossing it onto the counter. "Really, V?" She wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. "Don't cry," she murmured. "I'll help you sort this whole mess out."

"What do I do, Addie?" I wailed as hot tears began to spill over my cheeks.

She shrugged as she smoothed down my hair. "Well for starters, you could apologize."

"I did," I exclaimed. "That's how I got myself into this situation in the first place." I wanted to scream and shake her by the shoulders, feeling like at this point, I was on the brink of becoming hysterical.

"Ok, shh," she said moving her hands down to rub my back. "Calm down. Matt cares about you, V. He's not going to stay angry forever."

I pulled away to wipe my nose with the sleeve of my hoodie as I sniffled. "I know," I whimpered. "But that's not why I'm so upset. I...I...think I blew it with him, Addie," I said, a fresh wave of tears coming out fast now. "He...hhl my han an I blw itttt," I sobbed.

Addison stroked my arm as she wiped the tears from my face. "Just take a deep breath, V," she said going through the motions of breathing in deeply and then exhaling as she encouraged me to follow along.

I took a deep breath as I looked into her eyes, trying to focus on anything except the massive avalanche that had just buried my love life under its massive weight.

"Now say that again," she said softly.

I took another breath, blowing it out slowly. "Matt held my hand and I blew it."

Addison perked up at this new piece of information. "Come again? Lover boy did what now?" She instantly narrowed her eyes at me. "Why wasn't I informed of this breakthrough immediately? You went into descriptive detail about that time he placed his hands on your shoulders to scooch by you in the kitchen but when the good stuff happens you go mute on me?" She shook her head. "Nuh-uh, I don't think so. Spill it, girl."

I shrugged as I resumed washing a glass cup. "There's not much to tell. He held my hand for like 30 minutes while we watched TV and never said a word about it or even why he did it. He just acted like it never happened."

Addison broke out into laughter, the abrupt sound nearly startling me into dropping the glass in the sink. "That boy is so weird and awkward. Those wolves really did a number on him when they raised him, huh? He actually doesn't know how to act around others, does he?"

I swatted her on the arm with the dish rag. "Leave him alone, Addie." I sighed. "Can't you just talk to him like you said you would? I could really use your help in fixing this, you know. I don't have a way with the boys like you do. Not even Josh Hut could stay mad at after you pantsed him for spilling soda on your boots. "

She pointed a finger at me. "Hey, those were Steve Maddens! Fall 2020 line. You can't find those anymore. It was well-deserved." She smiled as she reached into her purse and pulled out two bottles of nail polish in the colors of red and green, a glint in her eye. "I can't exactly pry for information from Matt if you're always hovering around him now can I?" A mischievous look crossed over her face. "Unless of course, you would rather that I ask him right in front of you, in which case I would be delighted to."

I gasped, my eyes widening. "You will do no such thing, Addison Miller." I squirted more soap onto the sponge, absentmindedly washing another glass. "Can you at least try and talk to him before Winter Formal?"

She glanced up from painting her pinky finger green, a smirk on her face. "Why? Do you plan on finally growing a pair and asking him if he does admit to liking you?"

I shrugged. "I might." Then nodding my head and suddenly feeling more confident in myself, I added, "Actually, yea, I think I will."

Addison burst out into laughter. "No, you won't. Don't lie to me, V. I'm your best friend."

I tossed my hair over my shoulder as I dried another plate. "I guess the only way to find out is if you talk to him," I replied, my voice casual. Ok, so maybe there was a big fat chance of that never happening but if it turned out that Matt did in fact have feelings for me then maybe that would be all the reassurance I needed to finally make a move on him.

Addison grabbed the towel from my hand, swatting me on the behind with it. "Fine but you, young lady are grounded this weekend so I can get some time alone with him."

I squealed at the idea that by this time next week, I may just find out what it was like to finally kiss Matt and be able to run my fingers through his hair. If luck was really on my side, I may even get to have the pleasure of calling him my boyfriend.

A/N Oops, I did it again. I accidentally made the chapter too long so surprise, you get half of it early.

Next update will hopefully still be 02/07. You guys, get excited because it's finally the Addie/Matt conversation that I've been teasing for a while now.