Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love.

- George Eliot

Spring passed. And Summer. And Autumn. And Winter.

It is Spring again. It's been over a year since that ill-fated incident. I haven't completely forgotten it, but I think I have begun to. The time that I have spent apart Noah, has given me a much-needed opportunity to introspect the cracks in our relationship that led to our breakup. It has also made me realise emotional cheating isn't as simple as I had believed it to be. It is far more complex with layers, which over the one year has slowly lessened the anguish I'd been living with. I have also learned it is natural for a person in a long-term relationship to get swayed or tempted, and not all of these temptations end with cheating. Of course, no one is justifying infidelity. But a relationship is complicated and cannot be seen in terms of black and white. I won't say everything was Noah's fault back then, maybe, I was at fault, too, for a few things. And perhaps why, it has brought me to forgive Noah.

Not a day goes without a text from him. Officially, we're still not a couple. However, that does not mean Noah has given up on trying to win me back. Initially, I had wanted him to leave me alone, but as time passed, it only helped to restore my trust in him and slowly progress towards rebuilding our crushed relationship. The tension between us has faded to a great degree, and I think maybe I'm ready to take him back.

It is Sunday, and someone has rung my doorbell. Noah. I know already it's him because it's a ritual for him to bring me flowers every Sunday. Earlier, I wouldn't even open my door for him which gradually progressed to greeting to conversing a couple of minutes to asking about the week to finally having breakfast together. We've come a long way to this from being almost estranged.

"So, are you going out with someone?" Noah asked as he helps me set the table for us. Like I said, we aren't officially back together but that doesn't imply I would date someone else. Is he crazy? Probably.

"Um...yes." I say to tease him.

"Huh? Who?" he blurts out almost a second after I spoke. He's flustered instantly.

"Someone I've known for a long time."

"Anyone I know?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Take a guess."

He immediately gets to work. It's amusing to see him mentally list out all the boys I had been friends with for many years and cross out the ones he knows are not my type. As far as I know him, I'm pretty certain he won't add his name to this list. He still is guilty for what happened between us and there have been several instance where he cries his pain out when the regret becomes to heavy to carry. I cry with him because he still is my best friend and the only man I've loved my whole life. Not a day goes when I don't wish us to move beyond the past. Yes, I'm ready to forgive him. And I want to do it today. It ain't easy to watch him suffer, he has suffered enough. For a mistake that he committed, I cannot punish him for his entire life because he has given me countless good memories, too. For all the love he has shared with me, I don't think letting his one mistake ruin us is a wise choice.

"I can't think of anyone, to be very honest. I mean I know there are few guys you've been friends a over a decade, but none of them seem to fit your type. So, I guess it's probably someone I don't know."

"Think harder than. You know this person really well, in fact, you know him quite intimately."

I push him to wonder more, hoping he would catch my hint. But being the little dimwitted kid, he doesn't get the hint and I think I should show this poor boy some mercy now.

"Wait, I'll show you his face." I say as I tap on the picture gallery on my phone. "Here, here. This is the guy I'm in love with since I figured out what love is."

It is his childhood picture.

Noah looks at me, puzzled. I know what he is thinking, but I don't trust words to do their job effectively. I move to stand near the window. The city is quite visible from here. And so is Noah, who looks cute with a pout on his face as he tries to decipher what has just materialised here. I try to stifle my giggle, but my body refuses to be my ally.

"Are you taking me back?"

"How long can I keep myself away from you?"

"Are you sure you want us to have another shot?"

"Yes."

"Is this real?"

"Yes."

"I love you, Claire."

"I love you, too, Noah."

And we kiss, like we have never kissed ever before. It is magical, crazy, passionate, hungry, and wild. It is satisfying. It marks our new beginning, which after the long separation seems like paradise to me. Perhaps, for us to find each other again, the distance was needed.

"Before I lost you, I never knew I'd lose a part of myself with you if we ever separated. When it happened, I tried all that I could to find that missing part in every place I could look for it, I never succeeded. And now that we're together, I've found that missing part. It was you, and always will be. My love and my best friend. I love you."