someone: omg i love valentines day! it's the best day of the year! everyone has a significant other and my partner and i are going to rub our happy lovey dovey asses in your face! L O V V EEEEE

me: screencapped 📸 👏 and emailed 📬📤to my lawyer 🤓🤓. She will have filed charges 📒😤 by tomorrow 🌞afternoon . By law We must allow you 48 ⏰😴hours to remove 🙅🙅the 😡offending material😡. If not🙄, you will be charged 😱😭with defamation of character😵, libel😩, and criminal mischief😤, all misdemeanors😳😳😳. You will face a judge🏦 trial.
Don't think you won't🔍👏be 🔍👏found 🔍👏either. That email with the cap also includes your Dox😱, which will 🙅not🙅be shared publicly☠️. I've also forwarded 📤this material to the local 😈FBI😈 field office. They take ☠️death threats☠️😱 🤔VERY seriously🤔. Especially when your uncle is a ⬆️⬆️high ranking 🔪Homicide Detective🔫 with good friends 👌👩‍❤️‍👩in the 🚧FBI🚧the 🇺🇸US Marshals 🇺🇸Office, and the 💣NSA💣