- hey guys today we're watching the liberal propaganda film about a gay muslim called aladdin

- guy: ok so I was like-
person: *crying*
guy: uh dude why are you crying
person, still crying: my dog got ran over
guy: oh alright well shut up. so anyway i-

- two guys on a couch
guy #2: dude are you filming me? come on, dude, stop!
guy #1 & 2: laugh
guy #2, stuffing a dead body into his trunk: hey dude so, ARE YOU FILMING ME? stOP fIlMiNg mE!1!!1

- stepmother: Cinderella why do you want to go to the ball
Cinderella: bc stepmother, ball is life

- teenager: hey mum wanna make a vine
mum: fuck u little bitch boy. bitch boy.  lil bitch. baby fucker

- guy: made a goal to lose fifteen pounds by the end of the month but that's not happening so I uh sawed my arm off a little weird but it's kind of cool

- kid, fishing: aw man the fish got off
grandpa: probably cause God's angry
kid: angry at what
grandpa: gay marriage
kid: u see this is why i don't go fishing with u grandpa

- guy: he doesn't deserve you. if he doesn't treat you right, you're gone
girl: im gone
guy: now go chop his dick off

- girl: if the what are those vines exists in the mcu does that mean the ass slapping Spiderman vine exists as well
girl #2:
girl #2: get out of my fucking house elizabeth

- ask my friends and they'll tell u I'm the nicest but not if ur in motherfreakin isis

- photographer: ok say cheese
person: uh actually im vegan so i can't really
photographer: oh my God
person: uh haha soy

- person: what are you gonna be for Halloween
person #2: im going to be a FUCKING LADYBUG
person: dAMN RIGHT U ARE FRANK

- so tammy and i have great news and let's just say she's going to be vaping for two now

- guy: yo lady y'all got lemonade
waiter: no sir we wash our hands and dishes with lemonade

- it's my little russian lady. blease blease get me some beats