*

"I can't believe..."

"Yeah?"

"That we now live in this house."

Luhan slaps his own face, and it hurts.

"This is the key to the garage and the main house." Kyungsoo opens his palm out and the woman, who seems to be the cleaning and cooking lady, gives him the keys, "You can use everything in this mansion except for the masters bedroom."

"Y-you mean," Luhan stutters, his wide eyes wandering around the expanse of Chanyeol's mansion, "Even the cars at the garage and the swimming pool?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god, Kyungsoo!" Luhan fans himself, shaking his small boyfriend as he jumps, "We practically own this house now! Aaahhhhh!!! Thanks a lot, Chanyeol!"

Kyungsoo laughs, "Well, how about the kitchen? Can I use everything in there?"

"Of course. You now have the kitchen by yourself."

Hearing that sounds music to Kyungsoo's ears. Excitement and joy fill his heart by the thought of cooking in Chanyeol's kitchen and cleaning around the mansion. He can't wait to start already.

Meanwhile Luhan is already running around the house, meeting Jongin at the living room who's already having the time of his life playing VR game on the TV.

"Oh my fucking god, this is really cool!" Jongin cries while wearing the VR gear and punching like crazy in the air. "If only I knew Chanyeol wanted to give these to us, then we should've moved out a long time ago!"

"Excuse me, Chanyeol technically didn't give these to us, okay," Luhan puts chips inside his mouth as he plops himself on the couch. "Kyungsoo said he wanted us to look after Baekhyun for a while."

Jongin removes his gear, "Oh, right. About that. I'm still wondering why Chanyeol asked for that favor."

"I know right. For sure Baekhyun is now having a hard time," Luhan says.

"Yeah. Chanyeol could just come home with Baekhyun, though. They could live together like what they did before they went to New York," Kyungso says.

"Maybe he still has something to do."

Everybody turns to the new voice.

They see Sehun standing by the opened door with his luggage by his side.

"Hello everyone, I'm back," Sehun greets, grinning. "I'm your new roommate." He doesn't get a proper reply. "Hey, guys. Please welcome me warmly."

Luhan's eyes widen, Kyungsoo blinks, Jongin's drops the game equipments on the floor.

"S-since when were you back!? Why didn't you tell me you've arrived!" Jongin screams, giving Sehun a headlock. "Shit, did I hear that right? You're gonna live here with us!?"

Sehun rubs his nape, "Yeah... It happens to be like that."

"Oh my god, hi roommate!" Luhan chimes.

Kyungsoo takes Sehun's stuff like a housekeeper, "Welcome home, Sehun. I'll have to look through your luggage. You know, about the things we asked you to buy for us."

"Yeah. They're inside, just go get them yourselves."

Jongin waits for his boyfriend to disappear before he engages a private talk with Sehun.

"Wait, why are we alone right now in the bathroom again?" Sehun asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Tell me all the details," Jongin whispers, looking around the place, "About how you met Chanyeol and Baekhyun in New York. What exactly happened?"

"That's all in it, everything I told you in the chat," Sehun shrugs, "Chanyeol asked to meet me behind Baekhyun's back to tell you about taking care of this house. I also had a message to deliver to him. What do you still want to know?"

"No. That is not all. Dude, you lied to me," Jongin mutters, "You told me you were going to New York for your studies! But the truth is, you went there to see Chanyeol! My feelings were badly hurt, you know!"

"What, you felt like being cheated on?" Sehun laughs teasingly at Jongin pounding his chest. "I had to do that because I had no choice. I gave Baekhyun the envelope and my job there is now done."

"Envelope? What envelope are you talking about!?" Jongin asks, "I'm still fucking confused!"

"One more thing, I officially told Baekhyun about our relationship," Sehun zips his pants down and takes a piss, "You don't have to feel guilty anymore everytime we hang out. We're legal now."

"Finally, I'm so happy!" Jongin says, giving Sehun a bro-hug from behind, "You're now officially my best friend! Ahhhh!!!"

"Am I the only one who feels uncomfortable," Kyungsoo says, before closing Sehun's luggage full of unwashed underwears and dirty socks.

*

There's a round table in the middle.

And there's that white A4 envelope above it.

Baekhyun sets his eyes intently at Chanyeol seated on the chair comfortably in front of him. He links his fingers together and perches them on the table like a detective ready for interrogation.

"Go ask anything," Chanyeol says, "I will honestly tell you everything."

It's the perfect situation. Based on how he is looking at him and how he is breathing, Baekhyun believes Chanyeol is finally going to reveal nothing but the truth to him. He badly wanted to hear this sound of sincerity in Chanyeol's voice, especially that moment before Sehun has left New York.

But right now, he doesn't know anymore.

Right now, he is unsure whether he still wants to hear what is happening around him, or just live without knowing anything like a great pretender.

Baekhyun crosses his arms over his chest and looks away nonchalantly.

And Chanyeol knows he's hesitating.

"Give me this," he picks up the envelope and attempts to unwind the string, but Baekhyun's hand is quick to prevent him from doing so, "I'm gonna open this now."

"No," Baekhyun firmly says with his eyes averted, "I don't want to."

Chanyeol lets go of the envelope, sighing. He massages his throbbing head and tries to focus his sight on Baekhyun's, engaging eye contact.

"Baekhyun, listen to me right now, okay? Look at me. This. This thing that you have here is a document from Korea that I'm going to---"

"La la la la la la---" Baekhyun immediately covers both of his ears with his hands and closes his eyes, childishly chanting lalala's to block Chanyeol's voice, "I can't hear you, la la la la la la la!!! No! Stop talking! I'm not gonna listen to you! La la la la la!!!"

Chanyeol then quits talking and explaining to the air. He stands up calmly and proceeds to the door of his room.

"Fine. Let's just do this the other day."

Seeing Chanyeol already leaving, Baekhyun panics a little and chases after him. He goes first to the door and shuts it close, before using his obviously smaller frame to block the doorknob.

He glares at Chanyeol. "And where do you think you're going?"

"I have to take a piss."

"Then take a piss in your fucking bathroom! Why the hell do you have to go outside!"

"Baekhyun, watch your language please," Chanyeol says, and he attempts to touch him on the head, but Baekhyun automatically hisses like a wild cat while still shooting him a sharp look.

Chanyeol steps back and returns to his seat obediently.

"Okay, I'm not leaving. I'll just sit here. Happy?"

It honestly annoys Baekhyun so much, Chanyeol's attitude right now.

It's like, he is so calm. He is actually very relaxed. He is cool about the situation as though it doesn't concern him a bit. There are no signs of him getting agitated neither feeling infuriated no matter how Baekhyun purposely appears stubborn in front of him. Chanyeol goes on with his life. He's smiling, for pete's sake, he's eating deliciously, he sleeps well at night. He's not getting angry and impatient like he's a new refreshed soul, and it fucking pisses Baekhyun off.

Why is he like this?

"Ah, I'm getting bored. Should I turn on the TV? What's that channel again? You watch that make up tutorial thingy."

Because to Baekhyun it sounds unfair. It feels so fucking frustrating not knowing everything and not having the courage to know anything in the first place.

He just wants Chanyeol to sympathize with him and relate to what he is feeling. His chest is burdened and heavy, he wants Chanyeol to be with his side, too. He wants Chanyeol to stop acting like everything is okay and be that Chanyeol that he used to.

"Who are you?" Baekhyun suddenly blurts out in the middle of the girl explaining how to do ombre lips using concealer and lip tint. Chanyeol, who is totally engrossed with the program, turns to look at him cluelessy.

"Huh?"

"Aren't you my owner?"

It takes a while before Chanyeol responds, "Right. Yes. I am."

"Why. Are you. Like this?" Baekhyun keeps his calm, but he needs to fight back the tears threatening to escape his eyes, "Answer me. Why are you like this?"

"Are you okay?" Chanyeol looks worriedly at him.

"Do I look like I'm okay!?" Baekhyun raises his voice at the end, "And please, Chanyeol sunbae, stop looking at me with, with those soft puppy eyes! It! It pisses me off! Argh! So frustrating!"

"I'm sorry."

"What," Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows, unsure whether he hears it wrongly, "Did you just say to me?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh my god," Baekhyun furiously hugs himself and does a shivering motion, "Oh my god, I feel goosebumps! Oh Lord, what is happening. Oh my god." He looks skeptically at Chanyeol. "Who the hell are you? What did you do to Chanyeol? Where's my Chanyeol sunbae!" He rubs his arms and trembles like a puppy. "Bring him back!"

Chanyeol laughs, "Do that again, do that again! You look so cute."

"Shit, I can't stand him like this," Baekhyun mutters to himself, distancing himself away from Chanyeol. He wants to cry in frustration and slap Chanyeol's face hard so that he would come back to his senses, "He feels like a totally different person. Is he drunk?"

"No, I'm not drunk. Come here," Chanyeol says, gesturing his fingers to Baekhyun standing on the very corner of the room, "Hey, I'm just kidding with you, okay? Come here."

Baekhyun fixes his stance and slits his eyes.

"Closer."

He steps closer.

"Even closer."

He takes another three steps.

"Still too far."

He walks closer.

Chanyeol tugs Baekhyun's wrist so that he is in standing in front of him now. Baekhyun refuses to look at him, he is still mad about everything and it's Chanyeol's fault. Even the hands holding his own won't make him feel any better. (Though they feel warm and make his heart flutter, but still.)

"Baekhyun."

"What."

"Look at me."

"I don't want to."

"Just just take things lightly. Don't stress yourself too much."

"How could you just say that..." Baekhyun mumbles softly under his breath, "How could you just say things like that... as if nothing is happening... like... like everything is alright, it's just so," he quickly wipes the first tear falling to his cheek, "it just feels so unfair... how can you just.... smile like this and act like this... You're supposed to be... not as relaxed as this... It's just so strange, Chanyeol sunbae..."

"Remember what you told me that time?" Chanyeol says, squeezing Baekhyun's hands. "What happened and what will happen doesn't matter? It is what we have been through? You told me that, right?"

"I did," Baekhyun mutters, "But still..."

"Look, Did I change for the better or for the worst?"

"For the better..."

"See? I may have changed over time but I'm still the person you've liked. I'm also that person who has hurt you in the past. But listen, I won't be that monster anymore. I can handle my own feelings, unless you do something to trigger that," Chanyeol shrugs, "I'm receiving help so you should help yourself, too."

"I don't understand what you're saying right now but you sound so mature and cool and sexy and smart," Baekhyun whispers, "And that makes me feel so childish three minutes ago..."

Baekhyun is rubbing his eyes with his fists which Chanyeol is prying away. He'll make them more puffy.

"So why don't you want to hear anything from me?" Chanyeol asks, "Don't you trust me?"

"I trust you but I'm still scared," Baekhyun says, "I'm scared that if I open that envelope, I will get to leave you..."

"We still have to part ways no matter what."

Hearing that, Baekhyun perks up and stares at Chanyeol.

"I KNEW IT!!!!" he yells, his sobbing intensifies as he bangs the table, "I fucking knew it! I'm not gonna leave! I'm staying here with you and that is final!"

"I'll open this envelope right now so calm down for a bit," Chanyeol sighs, getting the envelope and pulling its string open, "Now, listen."

Baekhyun closes his eyes, takes a very deep breath, and hugs Chanyeol extremely.

"Okay, I'm ready."

He can hear Chanyeol chuckle.

"You look like you're gonna sky-dive and jump from a plane without a parachute."

"I'm gonna die if you don't catch me so promise to save me," Baekhyun murmurs against Chanyeol's shirt.

"I'll hold your hand so we could die together."

Baekhyun kicks his balls. "It doesn't make any sense!"

"Shit, that fucking hurt!"

"Just please read me that goddamned letter!" Baekhyun screams.

Chanyeol clears his throat and unfolds the document.

He has seen this a couple of times.

He knows this was coming. He's not actually surprised.

"This is actually a good news."

"The only good news is me not leaving your side, Chanyeol sunbae."

Chanyeol smiles wistfully at that, "I guess it's a bad news, then."

"Give me that."

Baekhyun steals the paper himself and reads out loud. He clears his throat.

"Ehem! Greetings from *** University. This is to inform that student name [Byun Baekhyun] is hereby entitled with full scholarship granted by the government for having top-notched the CSAT held in academic year *** at Seoul, South Korea---"

Chanyeol grins, "Congratulations."

"---and that he/she shall not waive this exclusive opportunity. If so, he/she shall pay a fine of 5,000,000 won for not being able to report on the exact date attached herewith---"

"It's two months from now," Chanyeol interrupts.

"Furthermore, the scholar shall be granted 600,000 won of educational assistance per semester for his/her chosen bachelor program with any major given that he/she maintains a general weighted average not lower than 1.50 in all subjects undertaken---"

"You barely got a 1.25," Chanyeol interrupts again.

"Stamp and signature by the scholar is officially needed on this document together with his/her presence at the class orientation as a verification of agreement. Signed by President Kim Inchul, PhD, on November ***. End of document."

Silence fills the air.

"So."

"So?"

"Can you lend me 5 million won," Baekhyun says.

"No, I can't do that."

"But why? You just told me you could buy a supermall for me," Baekhyun says, "You could even buy me a car and buy me a house. You could buy me everything I want in this world... You're rich, you're practically a billionaire's son... Five million won is not even a pinch of your money... I will work hard to pay for it, just please lend me the money..."

Baekhyun may be saying this with a blank expression on his face but he's already crying, tears won't stop falling on his eyes. There's a painful clench in his heart as he sobs in front of Chanyeol, and the male has to hold him for him not to fall on the floor.

"Baekhyun, it's not that I can't lend you that amount," Chanyeol says, "It's just that, I won't do it."

"But why? You just exactly told me, let's go back to Seoul, right!? I was so excited to come home with you when you told me that!" Baekhyun says, shaking Chanyeol with all his might, "I'm not gonna leave this place if you're not coming with me! It's either we go back to Seoul together, or I'm staying here with you in New York for the rest of my life!"

Chanyeol laughs.

"What, why are you laughing," Baekhyun cries even harder, "It's not the right time to smile! You broke your promise! You lied to me!"

"Hearing you say those words makes me happy," Chanyeol says, "The fact that you want to be with me for the rest of your life makes me greedy. Ah, I wish time would fly so soon."

"You didn't mean 'let's go back' that way... You made me hope for nothing... You wanted me to go back alone..."

Chanyeol wipes his tears away.

"Baekhyun. This is the least thing that I can do. When you get back to Seoul, I made sure everything is prepared for you. The house, your own car, the money. You won't also be living alone. You could be with Sehun and our friends back home."

"Oh, so that was why you asked to meet him behind my back," Baekhyun says in a sarcastic tone, "You're already planning to send me away!"

"No, no, no! I'm not planning to send you away!" Chanyeol defends himself. "I'm doing this for your sake."

"But I don't want them," Baekhyun sobs, "I don't need them, Chanyeol sunbae. I only want you in my life and I don't care about those things. I just want to be where you are."

"Well, I fucking care about those things," Chanyeol says, releasing a deep sigh, "Baekhyun, look at us." He points at himself, then at Baekhyun. "We're not like what we were back when we were younger where we only think of school and sex. I told you before, love alone won't let you live."

Baekhyun knows Chanyeol is right and it fucking hurts so much.

"But I'm not yet ready... I will never be ready to be far away from you... You're practically my life and my reason, and without you I just can't imagine how I'm gonna turn out to be! I want to stay here ONLY with you, Chanyeol sunbae!" Baekhyun screams. "I'm willing to abandon everything and anything just for the sake of being with you! That is how much I love you! I won't accept that scholarship, it's not what I want!"

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol holds him on the shoulders, "Did you even ask what I wanted?"

At that, Baekhyun freezes.

"Have you ever asked me what I want?"

Baekhyun doesn't speak.

"I want you to accept this scholarship and get back to Seoul," Chanyeol says.

Baekhyun looks at him.

"I will do what you want only if you come back to Seoul with me."

Chanyeol shakes his head.

"I can't come with you... I need to stay here until I get things done and until the right time comes. After that, I promise to come to you and be with you until then."

"What things? What do you need to do that is more important than I am?"

Chanyeol avoids eye contact, "I can't tell you right now."

"You always hide things from me. Why can't I know everything!?" Baekhyun says, "Do I look like a thing to you, still? Don't my feelings matter to you?"

"Some things are beautiful when kept hidden... Your feelings always matter to me, Baekhyun. That is why I'm doing this."

"Well, I don't want beautiful things! I only want you even if you're the worst!"

Baekhyun clenches his fist. His mind goes blank for a second as he only wants to hear one answer.

Yes. I will come back home with you.

But why can't Chanyeol say that?

"You should go back to Seoul with me or else." Baekhyun's face goes blank. "I'm gonna kill myself."

He knocks over a vase so that it breaks, before picking up a pointed shard. He bravely points it at his wrist.

"I can slit my wrist right now and bleed to death."

Chanyeol's eyes flicker into something akin to fear and anger. He gives Baekhyun that familiar heavy gaze.

"I'm not scared to kill myself in front of you," Baekhyun mutters, he's really out of his mind, "If that is the only way you could come back to Seoul with me, then I won't hesitate to do it."

Chanyeol steps closer.

"Don't you dare, Byun Baekhyun. Put that away."

"Make me."

Chanyeol breathes, seriously trying to calm the beast inside him.

"I said. Put that away."

Baekhyun steps back. "No."

He starts to line the pointed edge on his left wrist, until he is closing his eyes to endure the pain when blood starts to ooze out. Chanyeol suddenly grabs his hand to stop him, slamming him against the wall. He throws the shard away and pins Baekhyun in place. Stuff on the table fall on the floor with Chanyeol caging Baekhyun on the corner, and the loud noise startle the maids outside.

"Stop!!! Listen to me, Baekhyun!"

"No!!! Get away from me!"

Baekhyun vigorously struggles underneath Chanyeol's strong confines, and he manages to blindly reach for a thick book to throw it at him. He ignores the fresh blood on his wrist and how it fucking aches.

The maids outside are going berserk as they bang on the locked door. A maid is getting the keys to Chanyeol's room while three others listen outside to the noises and thuds, together with Chanyeol and Baekhyun screaming profanities at each other.

"I don't need you stopping me if you have no plans on coming back home with me in the first place! Just leave me alone!!!"

"You are fucking out of your mind!!! Calm the fuck down and stop struggling!"

Chanyeol gets hit on the face so he forcefully grabs Baekhyun's arms to tame him down. Baekhyun won't stop budging and squirming while he still screams at Chanyeol, and the piercing sound of his intense yells accompanied by the loud thuds on the door make Chanyeol lose his temper.

He slaps Baekhyun's face and grabs him harshly by the neck.

"FUCK, I SAID STOP!!!"

Sungjin is disturbed by the distracting loud noises, and when he comes out of his study room, he sees maids in front of Chanyeol's room acting hysterically.

"Oh my god! They're fighting inside! I'm scared! We should stop them!"

"Why is she taking so long to get the keys!"

"Call Mrs. Park right now before anything bad happens!"

Baekhyun falls silent.

The tears from his eyes dribble down on Chanyeol's hand wrapped around tightly on his neck.

He can see right through his eyes.

Chanyeol is a minute close to squeezing his neck to death.

"Chanyeol! Baekhyun!"

The door opens at that exact moment, and the maids run to get to Baekhyun. Meanwhile Youngmi and Sungjin come to get their son by hugging him away and distancing him from Baekhyun.

"Get Baekhyun out of here," Mr. Park tells the maids who are immediately right on their feet to help a fazed and coughing Baekhyun to stand up. They take Baekhyun outside the room, far from Chanyeol's sight.

Baekhyun takes one last glance at Chanyeol who refuses to face him.

"Are you okay, son? Are you hurt somewhere?" Youngmi asks like a concerned mother as he checks out Chanyeol's cheek. Her eyes widen when she sees a tiny scratch on Chanyeol's jaw. "Oh my god! Did Baekhyun do this to you!? How dare him!"

"Don't touch me," Chanyeol says, swatting her hand away from his face, before turning around to leave. He enters the bathroom and locks the door with a heavy thud.

Opening the faucet to let the water block the voice of his father telling him to go visit Doctor Phillip, he stares at his reflection on the mirror.

There's a small cut on his jaw.

He scrambles through the cabinet and pops out two blue and gray pills from a white bottle. He lowers his head and heaves, clenching his eyes shut as he puts the drug inside his mouth, swallowing them whole.

It's still burning at the back of his hand--- the wetness of Baekhyun's tears.

*

To be continued.