Alyssa

"How could I let this happen?" I whisper to myself as I make my way to the hallway

I saw and felt every emotion he was feeling when he stood in the doorway, and I feel ashamed because I know I'm the reason why.

It pains me to know that I hurt him when I promised I wouldn't, and it's seems like I'm breaking all of my promises, and in my opinion, I don't think I'm the one to blame.

I played dirty to escape, and he played along just to make me seem like the villain.

It was a trap, and my dumb ass fell for it thinking I was the one who was trapping him.

And now I'm paying for it.

"Xavier!" I call out hoping he'd pop out somewhere

I already know he isn't going to take me back because he's still hurting from his last relationship, and all I did was bring him more heartache.

"I didn't mean it!" I add hoping that would get anyone's attention

"You didn't?" I hear someone ask from behind me

I turn around in desperation, but once I notice who it is, my jaw slacken and the time slows down.

"Why did you do it then?" He asks stepping towards me

"You have me hostage! Did you really think I would gladly stay here?!" I ask feeling frustrated at his idiotic questions

"I mean, you gave me all the signs that you wanted me just as much as I wanted you." He grits out with a smirk making my blood boil

"I was playing you De'André." I spit making his smirk fall and jaw clench

A smirk of my own creeps across my lips, and I can't help but feel more than happy to finally get it off my chest.

He isn't the only one who can manipulate minds.

"Well it doesn't matter, you still lost lover boy, and that's all I care about." He deadpans making my heart beat faster

"What the hell did he ever do to you?! All he ever did is be your backbone whenever you fuck up and be there for you!" I scream making him flare his nostrils and walk up to me and grab my chin harshly

"He isn't the man you think he is." He grits making me scoff

"And you are?" I ask making his harsh and cold look soften for just a second

"No, but I'm better." He replies making me cock my head to the side

"How? He hasn't tricked me into kissing or loving him. He hasn't done anything to physically or mentally harm me, and guess what De'André? You have." I respond tight lipped

"We all have our reasons Ms. Henderson." He says nonchalantly while shrugging

"What are yours?" I question stepping back

I can't get too close to him anymore. For myself and for Xavier.

I owe him and myself that, and I still can't believe I even let this get this far.

This is supposed to end with me being back in Xavier's arms, and now I'm in my own trying to regather myself.

It's too much to handle, and I slowly feel my sanity escaping me, yet I try to hold on to see what his answer is.

"Have you ever tried to be exactly like your parents? To show them that you're good enough? To show them that you're worthy of being called their child?" He asks making my jaw slack from shock

That is not what I was expecting.

"What do you mean?" I ask flabbergasted

"Tell me Alyssa. Have you ever had to pretend like you loved everything your parents did just to be seen as something they loved?" He presses coming closer to me

I nod my head, but then whisper 'no', because I've never had to prove myself to my parents.

Sure I made mistakes when I was younger, but they never doubted me after that.

But now I see that it's not that easy for other people.

Even though these men are a few years older than me, I feel as if they've been through far worse.

And I can't help but feel that the only thing I'm doing is adding to the built up tension.

"Exactly. So how do you think I feel?" He questions pursing his lips while walking up to me

I raise my hands up to stop him from coming any closer, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me closer.

"I asked you a question Alyssa." He purrs into my ear causing me to shiver

"I - I don't know." I answer truthfully

I didn't know what, and still don't know what he's going through, but now everything is out of whack because when he was gone it was only Xavier who made me feel the way I do now.

I feels like I owe him my best effort in becoming his girlfriend because his last one cheated on him with De'André.

But now I think I see why his ex made that decision.

They're both exactly the same.