Sakura didn't come home. 

And it was the most frustrating night Sasuke has ever spent after his homecoming. 

Sure, he'd spent sleepless nights because of his traumatizing nightmares, but nothing compared to the nagging feeling of knowing that he's hurt her again. He couldn't even close his eyes knowing that she's probably out there crying just because he can't give her what she needed- tell her what should have been said, again.

He remembers when she first confessed her love the time he decided to go rogue and leave. He remembers how much he thought about her when he first got to Orochimaru's hideout, and how much he forced himself to keep his shit together because romantic affiliations nor any bonds should not hinder his goals.

He remembers the time she cried her heart out to him again before he and Naruto went to have their final battle. He remembers how annoyed he was, because she kept tugging a part of him that made him question his own principles and beliefs. He remembers how he decided to put her under a strong genjutsu- to make her hate him as much as possible- because he just might yield and listen to her like he did in the forest of death if she doesnt keep her mouth shut.

He remembers all those times she made it clear she offers him an unconditional love, and how all those times he kept making excuses as to why he couldn't accept it. He remembers how much he knew yet denied wanting and needing her. How great he acted when he pretended he wasn't curious about her pink locks and mesmerized by her laugh and eyesmile; how delusional he was to think he can keep his feelings for her at bay since he was 12.

The ravenette squeezed his eyes shut.

Now he can let his feelings overflow. Now, he wants to allow it to consume him and yet... aside from thanking her and holding her near whenever he can, he frustratingly dont know how to express the real deal he feels.

He so badly want to acknowledge he loves her- tell her, and show her in the way he wanted to. He so badly want to marry her, to see her beautiful face in the altar and claim her as his wife. Ever since the night he saw her in his shirt, his clan's crest present at her back, all he wanted was to see her wear it everyday. All he wanted was to offer every bit of his remaining goodness to her.

But apparently trying to do so only hurt her again- because he fucking didn't know how to do it right. It was so frustrating, so depressing, because all he ever did was hurt her, again and again and again, even on the occasions that he didn't mean to.

Sasuke felt like this fact was eating him alive.

The fear of not being deserving of her then comes creeping in again as he questions himself if he should still propose.

If I do she might say yes, he closes his eyes anxiously- massaging his temples while he sips on his tea to calm himself and try to come up with a better plan. And if she does, I'm just going to hurt her again.

Fuck it.

No.

Kakashi's words rang in his head, and he reminded himself that Sakura is a strong, smart, independent kunoichi who can decide for herself. He has hurt her multiple times, that's true, but it's up for her to ponder and weigh how bad it is going to affect her answer to his wish.

His wish. He finally allowed himself to  wish. He was still well aware he didn't deserve her, but just her...

Just her, he thought almost too desperately. I would never ask for anything for myself ever again. Just her. Please, just her.

"Sasuke!" Naruto came barging in again, rattling the last Uchiha and dragging him out of his overthinking.

"Fuck it, dobe, what?!" He irritatingly asked.

The blonde then took a second to study his bestfriend before his confused face break into a wide grin. "Someone's pissed. What did Sakura-chan do?"

"She didn't come ho- how the hell did you know?" Sasuke apparently cannot control the volume of his voice now. His lack of sleep, frustrations, and anxiety were taking over, and Naruto managed to trigger them all out again.

"I know you well enough, teme. I've seen those frowns back when we're still genins and it's only during those times Sakura doesn't pay attention to you dattebayo."

"Shut up," the ravenette rolled his eyes. "Just, why are you here again anyway? Don't you have a wife to pester?"

"Hinata's still tired," Naruto smirked and Sasuke can only make a face of disgust at the sexual innuendo. "But the real reason why I came here was because I want to talk to you about your thoughts on Kaguya 'ttebayo."

The ravenette snaps his head at the mention of that particular name, regaining that focused and battle-ready composure he always has. Truthfully, apart from Sakura, he has been troubled by matters regarding the rabbit goddess too. It wasnt so bad to keep him awake at night, but it still ticks him off.

He may have given himself time for romance- because how can he not when Sakura's making him want to love her every single day- but he will not dismiss the drive to protect what his brother cherished, and what the pinkette too, holds dear. Threats such as Kaguya cannot be simply dismissed after a sealing. After all, she caused numerous conflicts even before she came back to life.

"What about her?" Sasuke asked and Naruto sighed as he took his seat. Of course the ravenette still finds it amusing how his friend can make himself at home anywhere, but he decided to dismiss it due to the rare serious facade the future hokage holds at the moment.

"I just had a very very awful dream. Like, getting sucked into that big ugly tree." The blonde let his arms rest on his knees. "I'd like to think it was just a manifestation of trauma but... the Kaguya I saw from that dream seemed to be scared as she accumulate chakra urgently dattebayo. Kurama felt uneasy."

Sasuke didn't have to utter anything for Naruto to understand that he too felt uneasy. The peace they have today came with a great price, and uneasiness like this which could create even the most simple buzz on it is something they cannot tolerate.

So many people gave up their lives to achieve it. They had to ensure it will prevail at all costs.

"I have been thinking a lot about it lately. If she was already the most powerful being on this world, what did she need the chakra for?" Naruto continued which earned a nod from Sasuke.

"Same question. Some information is really missing," the ravenette sighs. "I guess I would have to leave soon."

The statement, albeit anticipated, still shocked the blond hero. "Leave?!" He asked. He knew Sasuke intended to investigate more about Kaguya for the sake of eliminating what could be a threat and knowing what should be unveiled, but the term 'leave' is just too much.

He just came back.

"I have to go and investigate," Sasuke said.

"I know that. But... you seem like you want to go far away for a long time again." Naruto tried to suppress a pout, but the ravenette knew exactly what he meant. "Your leaving moments suck 'ttebayo."

"No, I won't... leave for long. Brief solo missions until I get some clues, I guess. But I..."

At this Naruto's concerns ebbed away; his frown slowly turning into a grin without malice. It was his turn to find his bestfriend amusing. "You can't leave Sakura-chan, can you?"

"Not when things are still unclear." Sasuke sighed.

"What do you mean unclear? I thought you two are officially dating?"

"She knows I like her-"

"Everybody does, dattebayo."

"-but she doesn't understand the entirety of it. And I want her to know it."

"..."

"..."

"So you want to tell her you love her?"

"...hn," Sasuke looks away.

"And you... holy shit, you want marriage, don't you?"

"Just shut up, urusatonkachi."

"I support! Choji is right!" Naruto beamed as he happily stood to give his friend a thumbs up right in his face.

"Akimichi?" The ravenette raised a brow. He was sure the chubby man doesn't have anything to do with his problems.

"Yeah, uhm, nevermind." The blonde scratched his head and sat again. "But what are you waiting and sulking here for, teme? Go after her and do it already! You cant always expect her to do the first move, and she's been waiting for too long 'ttebayo."

"Hn." The last Uchiha knew that very well. 

"God, you're helpless. Even I managed to propose to Hinata!"

"You know very well how different Sakura and I are from you and your wife."

"I know that! You two had feelings for each other since we were genins so why the hell can't you still propose?!"

Again, Sasuke can only look away. He was both embarrassed and bemused to be talking about Sakura with Naruto yet again, but he knows this was better than his brooding earlier. If anything, it was only with Naruto he can be as transparent as he is with Sakura, so it was only from him he can get a little positive push.

The dobe shares his history and pain now, after all.

"I don't get it. You've always been confident about beating people up, but you're so shy when it comes to girls?!"

"Not girls," Sasuke clarified. Sakura wasn't just some girl. She never was.

"Well then get your ass up there and get your girl, teme!" Contrary to his words, Naruto was humorously the one who got up from the sofa. "You're impossibly frustrating dattebayo. Kaguya can wait. Solve this first! Argh.."

For the first time, it was the blonde who walked out annoyed because the other half of their duo was being unreasonable.

***

Sakura's eyes were puffy from crying all night.

Thankfully, Ino was there to reassure her and make her laugh as much as she could, but she just couldn't get over what Sasuke said.

Or at least what she thought he said.

Sure, she could stand it when he says she's annoying. After all, he's cleared what he truly meant by it 2 months ago. But being disgusted by her?

That was... a lot to take in.

"Sasuke's here." Ino informed, one hand holding a cup of coffee while the other was on her hips. "He's looking for you. What do I tell him?"

The pinkette then panicked. He can't see her like this. She can't see him... like this. "Tell him I'm asleep, please. Tell him we stayed up all night last night."

"Like we didn't," the blonde rolled her eyes playfully. "I think you should talk to him though."

"Ino, you know I cant."

"You can. Punch him hard if he dares say any more lies about you not being pretty. It may have been the truth if he said you have a huge forehead but--"

"Ino!"

"Confronting is better than assuming what his vague vocab means, you know."

"Well it's not like he won't be vague this time if I do." Sakura insisted but her Yamanaka bestfriend was just as stubborn. They were rivals for a reason. "Oh don't worry. He looks like he wont be. He's stressed as hell!"

Stressed? The pinkette wondered and immediately found herself worrying. Indeed, Sasuke looked stressed since yesterday and she hasn't really given him the time to say what he wanted to say. That was a wrong move. She relied too much on her abilities to read him, forgetting just how unpredictable the last Uchiha still is, and disregarding the fact that he apparently needs more time to verbalize his thoughts than regular human beings.

He's more careful and more critical than anyone she's ever known.

"Fine," she sighed in defeat and started to get up from her bestfriend's bed. She just cant endure anything when it comes to the people she loves- especially when it comes to that young, stoic, impossibly handsome man. She had to face him and clear things today. "Thank you for your time and for letting me stay here, pig."

"Anytime, forehead." Ino smirked. "Tell Sasuke Sai and I are the only people allowed to insult you." 

"Yeah right," Sakura scoffed and proceeded to meet her 'boyfriend' at the entrance of the Yamanaka residence. She then took her time calming her insides as she gracefully come down the stairs. Every step was heavier than the previous one, and she mentally slapped herself for feeling that way.

She was used to Sasuke picking her up at the hospital, and it wasn't the first time she had to face him after a painful rejection. This was supposed to be nothing by now, and yet everything Sasuke does still affects her in different ways.

Just like how her name sounds different each time it rolls from his tongue with different tones.

"Sakura," he called when he saw her like how he used to, but this one was again different and special in its own. In that one word she felt his desperation, his plea, his wants, all rolled into a ball of snow sending shivers down her spine.

"Sasuke-kun," she forced a smile but kept her head hung low. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to come home. I also forgot to tell you I took a leave of absence today since Ino and I spent a little too-"

"Come with me," Sasuke interrupted her nonsensical blabs now, silently hoping she would finally stop avoiding his gaze and what he wanted to say. "Please."

It was funny how Sasuke's one word statements elicit so much attention and emotion from the pinkette. This was a rare moment to hear him say the word please, so Sakura could not help but look at his ever dazzling face in shock.

Damm right he's stressed, was the first coherent thought she had when she noticed the dark circles under his mixmatched eyes.  "Did you not sleep?" She asked, unable to stop herself from worrying too much.

"It looks like it wasn't just me." He gave a tired small smile, reserved only for her. "Come with me." He asked again, more softly and not tensed this time as he cupped her cheek with his lone hand.

"Where?"

"Just follow me." He said and walked away like nothing happened, fighting his blush because he realized he just showed too much affection in public.

As if Sakura wasn't as red as a tomato herself.

***

It was a long, long walk and an unending series of leaps before Sasuke halted and stood to face the most beautiful view Sakura has ever seen.

For some people who didn't sleep, it was a very good thing they were trained well to go as far as the borders of the land of fire anytime of the day. The pinkette also thanked the heavens she managed to file a leave before Sasuke picked her up, because there was no way they'd be back to Konoha on time unless they use the last Uchiha's portals.

Not that any of her concerns matter right now.

Standing in front of the sea, she felt at peace and in content. The pangs of insecurities slowly ebbed away, and completely disappeared when Sasuke looked at her in the eyes like she was more beautiful than the view in front of them.

Like she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

He didn't speak, as expected. But his eyes held so much words she cannot determine. She saw their history flash through it without needing him to activate his sharingan. She saw acceptance, adoration, gratefulness- love.

Sasuke may have been unpredictable, but there was no way she's reading him wrong this time. The ravenette may have never been good with words, and his vague series of hn's and aa's may be frequently misinterpreted, but his eyes never lie when they meet with her jade orbs.

His eyes can tell.

"Sakura," he called again.

"I know," she nodded and smiled. Perhaps she cried up all night for nothing, but being here at this very moment, she can say it's all worth it.

"No you don't." Sasuke, however, doesn't believe she's seen everything he wanted to convey. Their eye-talk has been effective since time immemorial, but this time, the last Uchiha knew what he needed to do. He knew he needed to speak, and it's the perfect time to execute what he just practiced telling her.

"Huh?"

"There's...a lot I wanna tell you." The ravenette focused his attention to the sea once again, trying his best to calm his breathing and choose his next words carefully. "The truth about Itachi, my memories of my parents. My real... sentiments. About us, about that night, about... family."

Sakura looked at her lover with concern and understanding. She can feel her eyes dampening immediately as different thoughts passed through her overactive brain. She remembered when Sasuke said he wanted to try, and now she's seeing him do it with all his heart and soul. She knew opening up is the hardest for him, and she was thankful for the minimum realities he shared with her ever since they were kids.

But now... it seems like he was unveiling the parts of him he concealed even to himself. To think he'd tell her about his family, about Itachi. That was big enough. To know that she's part of the depths of Sasuke's thoughts, sentiments, and most treasured aspects... Sakura can only feel her tears threatening to fall any moment.

"Sasuke-kun..." she murmured, ready to listen, accept, and offer any comfort she may be able to.

The ravenette understood this and found the strength to go on. "I--"

"Forgive me for the interruption but Hokage-sama wants to speak with you two as soon as possible." A male voice suddenly popped out of nowhere, and Sasuke finally understood why he preferred cats over dogs.

Of all the times he had to see Pakkun again, it was at this particular moment he decided to show up.

"Oh, uhm, hey, Pakkun." Sakura greeted, aware of Sasuke's gradually darkening aura. "Did he tell you the reason why?"

"No. He says it's top secret, and only his most trusted pupils can know about it." The dog said. "Personally."

"Oh, okay." Sakura made her self smile wider. No, at least it's not a fake one this time. It was rather a reassuring one because she knew if didn't, it would not be surprising if Sasuke blows a fire release into the sky to create a storm that matches his mood. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke. Maybe next time, okay?"

That fucking next time again. Are you haunting me, Itachi?

"It seems urgent," Sakura sheepishly smiled.

"It better be," The last Uchiha gritted his teeth so bad, not blurting out the threatening parts of the sentence he wanted to say as he followed Sakura back into Konoha.

Because if this is another sick attempt to teach me how to have sex, I will make sure Kakashi will never experience having one himself through his own chidori.

________________________________________________________

So sorry for the late update! Things came up and all but THANK YOU FOR 1K READS!!!!

This means so much to me because I never thought people would actually read my works.

Anyhows I promise in the name of Sasusaku to update tomorrow too!

Goodnight~ :)