I looked over my left shoulder and saw it was D.O.

As he got of my shoulder I hugged him really tight and cried on his chest. He cried with me and stroke my head while saying that everything is going to be alright.

I broke the hug, sat next to him and just stared at the TV.

While I was staring at the TV I said in a shaky voice:"I cant't believe that really happened. Why do always these people die I love?"

D.O just sighed in sadness.

He got a text message and said that it was his manager. He stroke my shoulder and said that he was sorry for what happened. He gave me a little kiss on the cheek and said that everything is going to be okay.

I was shocked that he kissed me, but I didn't care. I just nodded but my eyes still didn't leave the TV out of sight.

As I heard how he closed the door I ran up to my room took my Macbook and sat down on my bed.

I looked for a place I could stay for a while. After a while I decided to go back to the US but to Miami. I wanted to go there because no one knows me there and I don't have to learn a new language.

It was like already 2am and I still was up. I just couldn't sleep. She was like my mother, because she just cared so much for me and not like my real mom.

I booked me a flight and even rented me a little apartment, which I could afford.

I have to sell this house, because it is very expensive. I am just going to leave a letter on the table for everyone.

I am not going to tell them where I am going, because I don't want that anyone follows me.

After all I got really tired and went sleeping.

The next morning I stood up at like 1pm, because yesterday I went late to bed.

I made myself some Ramen and went to pack my stuff.

I went to the cellar and found some boxes.
"Just perfect! I don't even have to buy some and these are just the perfect size, not to large and not to small."

I went back upstaires and packed some of my stuff.

There were many boxes full of my stuff. For example: All fan mails/ letters, then their gifts for us but now for me, and so on.

After I was done with all the little things (pictures, gifts, ....)
I took out my suitcase which was under my bed.

I put all my clothes in my suitcase, but 2 outfits I let on my bed.
The first outfit was for the funeral

and the other outfit was for my flight.

The day went by of just friends coming over and saying they were sorry.

Day of the funeral:
So today was the day. I stood up at 8am because the funeral was at 11am. As I woke up I went to my bathroom to get myself ready. I looked in the mirror and got a shock. I looked so terrible, because I cried myself to sleep these 2 nights.

My eyes were all swollen. For that moment I just ignored it and brushed my teeth.

I went downstaires and just ate cereals, because I wasn't that hungry.

After 5 minutes I was done with eating and I quickly washed the dishes and ran upstaires.

In my room I looked on my phone and saw that it was already 9:30 am. I put on my dress and my jewellery.

I did my make up and covered my swollen eyes surprisingly well.

As I was done with everything, I took my phone and went on my social media after so many years.

Looking through Instagram J saw many of my fans wrote that they were sorry.

It really touched me, because they still cared about me, eventough I was so unsocial after my members died.

It was 10 am so I decided to drive to the funeral. When I arrived there were so many people already there.

I stepped out of my car and as Iwas walking up to the crowd, most of the people turned to me and smiled with a little heart-warming smile.

I smiled back, eventough it was really hard for me.

The funeral lasted 2 hours.

After the funeral I went home, because I had to get dressed and write a note to my friends.

10 minutes of driving I arrived my house. I went inside and ran right away to my room to get dressed.

The clothes from the funeral I put them in my suitcase.

After I did it in my suitcase I took one box by another and put them in my living room.

After like 2 hours going up and down. I had finally all boxes and all my stuff in the living room.

So after all boxes were downstaires I had to sit down, because I was done from going up and down.

10 minutes after sitting on the couch I stood up and called the head manager o the SM Entertainment and asked if he could send me a staff to come with a truck and help me transport all my things to the airport.

After another like 10 minutes, there was knock on my door. I ran up and opened it. As I opened the door. There was no staff member, but EXO.

"Shit, what am I going to do now?!",I thought to myself.
"Okay, relax (Y/N), just ... aghhh... shit.. shit.... what should I do?!?!"

Suho then said with a smile on his face:"Hey (Y/N), can we come in?"

I just nodded, because that is not okay to just close the door or to not let them in.

As we were walking to the living room, they saw the boxes and DO asked:"(Y/N), what is that? Why are so many boxes and suitcases here?"

I looked down on the floor and felt that a tear was running down my nose. I answered:"Well as you guys can see I will move out and just take a break of being an Idol and all that. I need time for myself."

As I looked up all of them had a shocked expression on their faces.

Chanyeol then said:"Wha...wha...what?? Why? Please don't go I will miss you so much and by the way where are.you even going??"

I nodded and said:"Well, to answer your why question. I will go, because I can'r take it anymore. All of the people I loved died and I don't want to loose more friends I love. And the last question I won't tell you."

Xiumin then spoke up:"Why won't you tell us?"

"Well if I will tell you where I am going, I am sure that you will come.to that place and try to convince me to come back. Guys I just wanted to say, that I am 100% sure, that I will come back to Korea, when I am feeling better again.", I said.

"Wait, wait, wait a moment! So you said when you feel better again. Ok that can take like 10 000 years. Maybe you will come back to Korea when we are old.", Baekhyun said.

Just as I wanted to sit don on the couch it knocked on my door and it was finally a staff member.

I opened it and I bowed and greeted him. He did the same. I made place for him, to come step inside and to help me get my things into the truck.

The man came inside and he already took the first box and started to walk to his truck.

I wanted to help him but all the EXO members were standing infront of me, so that I can't reach to the boxes.

I did some puppy eyes and it glady worked.

As I took another one Chayneol grabbed the other side of the box and he didn't want to give it to me.

I pulled and he pulled so I let out the box and he crashed into his members.

I laughed and quickly took the box out of his grip.

After like an hour they had to leave. As they were about to step out of my house I quickly ran up to them and said:"Wait guys. Before you leave I have to say something to Sehun."

They all turned around and were curious, what I will say.

"So Sehun, because all of your members have a car I will give you mine!", I said.

He looked at me shocked and hugged my tightly. I smiled and hugged him back.

As we lt go of each other I gave him the car keys. He had the biggest smile on his face.

I actually have never seen him so happy.

"And guys before you leave.", I said.

I ran up to them and hugged them really tight. I was like in the middle and they were surrounding me.

As we let go, everyone was standing in a line so I went member by member and kissed him on the cheek and hugged them again.

I had so much tears in my eyes, because they were like the greatest friends I have ever had/ met.

"Oh guys by the way my flight will go at 3am and you can come earlier so we have still some time with each other. So if you want to say goodbye then meet me at the airport.", I said while smiling with tears in my eyes.

All of my stuff was now in the truck. The staff was still in my house. I made him some coffee and after that he went back to the Entertainment.

I said that I will call when I am ready. So now I was home alone. I decided to write a letter to all of my friends.