"this is what you want, to belong, so they like you. do you like you?"

-try, colbie caillat

"Okay, wait, so not only did you drag me into an empty classroom in front of what must've been the entire goddamn school, you also want me to lift a rule that I've implemented since, oh I don't know, the first day I rose to the top?" I let out a harsh laugh. "Just who the hell do you think you are, Asher Miller?"

"Come off it, Felicity," Asher said flatly. "It's not that big of a deal."

"It's a big deal alright, it's a huge deal, actually!" I fumed, pacing up and down. "First, everyone and their mother probably thinks that I pissed you off, and knowing your loyal fan base, I'm going to get even more flak than I already do! Second, if I give in to your absolutely ludicrous proposal, people are going to talk! They're going to talk, they're going to protest, and they're going to loathe me even more than they already do. This is more than your puppy love, Asher!"

"Haven't you ever been in love, Felicity?" Asher sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Come on, please? For me? I'll help to dispel any rumours, I swear on Buttercup."

"Yes, for your information, I have been in love," I snapped, probably more irritably than was warranted. "I think it's a whole ton of hooey. Sure, the idea of it is great and all, but when you're in the tank of sharks that's high school, there's no time for love, especially not with the pressure of grades."

"But she's the one," Asher looked dreamily into the distance, blue-grey eyes glazing over. I nearly gagged at the sight. "It's love at first sight, Felicity, I swear it!"

"And then your arse fell out," I deadpanned.

"No one says 'arse' in this day and age," Asher shot me a look that was both irritated and pleading.

I sighed in defeat.

"Look, fine, I'll try my best," I rolled my eyes. "But at least give me some information on this girl who I'm supposed to magically warm up to."

To tell the truth, I wasn't sure why I was even agreeing to Asher's request. If anyone else had asked the same of me, I would have turned them down immediately and made sure their name was dragged through mud for embarrassing me publicly.

Then again, Asher was different. He was the first person who had listened to me in a long time, and the first person who had willingly accompanied me even if I wasn't exactly the most engaging person to be around.

For that, I was grateful, and for that, I couldn't find it in me to reject him.

"Right, okay, so I ran into her at Starbucks," Asher seemed to brighten up considerably, and as he spoke, he gestured animatedly. "We talked a little, and I found out she just moved here from Manchester. She's coming here in a few days, after she finishes moving in and all that finicky jazz."

"And how exactly did you 'run into' her?"

Asher smiled sheepishly at that.

"Spilled my coffee on her shirt. Needless to say, there was a huge stain. I'm lucky she didn't saw my head off right there and then, the shirt looked expensive."

"Smooth, Asher, real smooth," I shook my head, half in exasperation and half in amusement. "God, this is all so cheesy. My whole life is turning into a teen flick."

"So, everything else aside," Asher surveyed me with a calculating look. "Can you help me?"

"No promises," I looked away, wrapping my arms around my middle. I wasn't about to drop all my rules and ruin my image because of what Asher believed to be 'true love'. But at the same time, I wasn't about to turn down someone who had granted me some respite in the hellhole I called my life.

I couldn't offer an agreement, or a rejection. All I could offer was an effort.

"Thank you, Felicity," Asher's eyes were soft as he looked at me. "This means a lot-"

"Don't sweat it," I cut him off. "And please don't continue that sentence. I'm this close to puking from how sappy this is." I grinned at him, faking breeziness despite the tight knot of dread that had begun to form in my stomach.

It was amazingly cruel how easy it was to forget that the world, with all its expectations, still existed outside the classrooms Asher and I conducted most of our conversations in. It was as easy as breathing to forget about everything I had gone through, everything I was going through.

I didn't know if it was because I was desperate to forget, or if it was just Asher.

"Right," Asher smiled, all sunshine and golden optimism. "Anyway, I'm going to leave before this gets even more awkward and people suspect that we're doing things we're not." He cringed slightly, before waving and exiting the classroom.

I turned away from the door, letting out a deep breath.

Of course, how could Asher understand? Beyond classroom 4B, beyond teasing and questions about morality, we still lived two separate lives. I had my reputation to uphold, as did he.

Maybe, in another life, we could've been friends.

But in this life, any commitment I made only ended in destruction.

===

It came as a surprise when Irene Carter pulled me aside after Math.

Although she was in my clique, I never considered myself particularly close to her, or anyone else in the clique for that matter. We put up an act for the masses, pretending to be a bonded group, when in reality we were as good as strangers. It was an odd setup, but it worked. They were hungry for popularity, just as I was hungry for recognition. As a group, we were a much more formidable opponent than if we were to take on the whole school as a person.

"Is something the matter?" I shifted uneasily from foot to foot, masking my nervousness behind a façade of impatience. "I only have so much time before the next bell."

"You don't intimidate me, you know," Irene pushed herself up onto a table, crossing her legs. "Besides, I come in goodwill."

"I'm sure that's what every despot in human history said right before they razed cities to the ground," I smiled sweetly, meeting her gaze with venom. "So cut to the chase."

Oddly enough, Irene wasn't fazed. By then, most people would have at least been slightly apprehensive. If anything, Irene looked more confident.

"Your attitude's going to be your downfall someday," she smirked, tossing her hair back. "Anyway, I wanted to warn you about Georgia."

I raised an eyebrow, looking disbelievingly at her.

"Don't look at me like I've grown two heads," Irene rolled her eyes. "If you haven't caught on, your little display with Asher Miller wasn't exactly pleasing to her."

I flinched slightly. Georgia Turner, while docile for the most part, was a force to be reckoned with once riled up. The only reason she hadn't turned against me was, once again, because of my status. And I had completely forgotten about her infatuation with Asher.

It was exactly what I had feared.

"I'll deal with her accordingly," I waved a hand dismissively, despite the trepidation coiling in my stomach. "Besides, she knows that if she dares to mess with me, there'll be hell to pay."

Irene laughed.

"You're interesting, Felicity," she regarded me with a knowing smirk. "Just like a Chihuahua - all bark and no bite. You'd be nothing without us, and you know it."

I bristled.

"What the hell do you-"

"I look forward to talking to you again," Irene hopped down, and her smile was surprisingly friendly. "But, I'd advise you to play your cards wisely. It's a precarious game you're playing, Felicity. And if you don't balance everything, sooner or later it's all going to come crashing down."

With a mocking salute, Irene sauntered out.