Happy Tuesday, peeps. Here's another one and it's tense. 

***

Clint realized too late that Loki could get him locked up if he wanted- despite his promise. He could tell Thor everything he'd said, what he'd done, and then the team would surely put him in a dark corner and run tests on him that he didn't want to think of. He belatedly pleaded with Thor as they walked down the still empty hallway, "I don't know if I should go in there. I'll probably just be in the way."

"Nonsense, Barton. I value your presence if it will ensure my brother will converse with me."

The door to Loki's room was right there. He could feel his heartbeat start to race. He couldn't do this. He didn't want to go in there with Thor right then- at all, he meant. He didn't want to go in there at all. "Are you sure I-"

"Clint," Thor spoke firmly, stopping to face the archer. "I understand your hesitation. What my brother did to you is unforgivable, but this is not truly my brother. I am asking a great sacrifice of you, one that I will not soon forget."

Ugh! He held back a lamenting groan and offered, "You're so lucky I'm a good guy."

"I am," Thor responded, too sincere and too sad.

Clint swiped his badge, the sound of the door clicking open making the blood drain from his face. He stepped back and held the door open for Thor; the blond god walked in and left Clint in the hall alone. He waited but didn't immediately hear shouting or bloodshed as he'd expected.

He went into the room before he could talk himself out of it, but the bed he'd found Loki on earlier was empty. He scanned the room and found Loki sitting on the floor in a corner, eyes open but empty. Thor was sitting on the bed in silence, waiting patiently. Clint wasn't sure what to do so he just stood at the door and let it hit him in the back when it shut.

Like Loki could sense their presence, he lowered his head and when it lifted again his eyes were present again. Those eyes landed right on Clint, seemingly ignoring his brother. "Clint. You spoil me with your visit."

The archer cheated his eyes to the wall behind Loki, not connecting with his intense gaze. "Thor asked me to come." That signaled Loki to look at the god of thunder.

"Brother," he greeted, kinder than Clint had ever heard him speak to Thor before. "I am sorry for refusing your company. You were smart to bring my hawk along."

"Don't call me-"

Loki raised a hand, realizing his mistake. "Of course, Agent Barton."

"Will you speak with me now, brother?" Thor asked, fidgeting but not standing from the bed.

The god of mischief tilted his head towards Clint and raised a questioning brow. Clint realized he was asking his advice...or permission maybe. "I don't care who you talk to, Loki. I don't own you." He'd said it with more spite than he intended, but it was a soft spot with the god. Sue him.

Something about that seemed funny to Loki, who eyes twinkled as a smile lifted on his face. "Of course not, Agent Barton. You'd have no idea how to handle me."

Clint huffed a disgusted ugh and crossed his arms over his chest. "Can you two just say what you need to say so I can leave?"

Thor took the opportunity and stood from the bed, coming to stand in front of Loki, and then- much to Clint's surprise- lowering himself to sit cross-legged, mirroring Loki. "You are not my brother," Thor concluded as his opening statement.

"No," Loki offered. "You are not my Thor."

Thor lowered his head, sadness making it heavy. "Is your Thor well?" Loki's mouth twitched, obviously holding something Thor didn't want to hear on his tongue. Thor knew his own brother well enough to recognize pause in this Loki, because he prompted, "If it is harrowing news, I would still hear it."

Loki held his gaze for a long moment, assessing the truth of his words, but must have seen the sincerity in them because he sighed, sad and defeated. "We have not spoken in many years."

"Not much has changed then," Clint scoffed, only realizing too late that it was rude.

Loki only flicked his eyes to Clint before asking Thor, "Your Loki, is he not by your side in this world?"

Thor shook his head slowly. "He is no longer with me." The absolute brokenness in Thor's voice made Clint sorry he'd popped off. The archer sank back against the wall and slid down to the floor to actually listen for once.

"Did he die bravely?" Loki wondered.

"He sacrificed his life for my own," Thor answered, words drenched in unshed tears.

Loki hummed and tapped his fingers on his knees. "May I offer a word of advice?"

Thor finally raised his head and looked at Loki, tears slipping onto his cheeks. "Please," he welcomed.

"Go find me," Loki said plainly.

"I do not understand." Thor was shaking his head even as Loki kept speaking.

"I am not dead," claimed Loki, surer than anything he'd said since he'd gotten here.

Thor clenched his hammer tighter in his lap. "How can you know such a thing?"

Loki took in a deep breath, closing his eyes around it and letting it out slowly. "I would know if I were dead." It was so simple, it was almost childish.

"You mean to say you have a connection with the Loki of my world?" Thor questioned excitedly.

"Nothing so tangible, I'm afraid," Loki confessed. "I cannot feel him per say, but I am sure I am still a presence in this realm."

Clint fucking knew it. He knew Loki wasn't dead. He would've felt the weight lift if Loki were dead. Besides, Loki wouldn't be so kind as to leave this world and give Clint peace of mind. Thor leaned in, placed a hand over Loki's on his knee and squeezed. "What do you know of his current location?"

With a sad smile, Loki answered, "Nothing. If your Loki is anything like me, he is shielding himself from view."

Thor's voice was back to the authoritative, assuming way Clint knew it to be. "If you know how to find him, share it, brother."

Loki pulled his hand out from under Thor's and twirled his fingers just enough to displace Thor's hand from his knee. "I harbor no ill will towards you, but you will not demand anything of me."

"Loki, do not be selfish-"

"Do not speak to me of self-interest!" roared Loki, body still but eyes alight. He looked somehow stoic and vibrating at the same time. "I am not the same man you know, and I have lived another life, one you cannot possibly begin to understand. I owe you nothing, Odinson."

Clint realized that he'd pressed himself against the wall and his hand was on the knife at his hip. Loki slid his eyes from Thor to Clint and deflated. "I apologize, Agent Barton. You are not usually present for our little spats."

Thor stood and hovered over Loki, but the sitting god didn't take his eyes off Clint. The weight of them suddenly seemed soothing, like Loki was pushing relaxation on him through his stare. Clint felt his shoulders relax; his hand came back to his thigh.

Thor announced, "If you will not help me, I will find Loki on my own."

"Fine. Go," Loki dismissed him. "I hope that if you find him, you are more receptive to him than you are to me."

Thor's cape swished around him as he turned on his heel. He went and held a hand out for Clint. "We may go, Barton."

Clint was still staring at Loki, and Loki was still staring at him, and he couldn't explain his next words if you gave him a thousand years. "I think I'll stay for a few minutes." The look on Loki's face was pure delight.

The blond god's forehead creased, confused. "You do not need to spend any longer in this room with him. He is toxic."

Loki scoffed softly behind Thor. Clint took the offered hand and stood, but the moment he looked around Thor's shoulder, he knew he was staying. "I'm good. I'll meet you and the rest of the team in the common area for dinner, okay?"

"If you are sure..."

"He said he would like to stay, Thor. Trust him to know his own mind," Loki chastised.

Clint felt weirdly proud of Loki backing him up. It seemed that people were always questioning him, wondering about his thought process and his stability. He'd mostly blamed that on what happened years ago, like he was the weakest link and never recovered after Manhattan, but another piece seemed to think that everyone would second guess him even if he hadn't been controlled. It always rubbed him wrong, and to have someone- even if it was Loki- stand up for him made him roll his shoulders back and say, "I'll see you later, bud," to Thor.

Thor nodded but sent one more questioning glance over his shoulder before leaving and shutting the door behind him. Clint was looking at the door, couldn't quite look at Loki yet. Loki let him, sitting in the same position he'd been in since they walked in, and waiting for Clint to say something.

He knew that he had to say something; he knew that if he didn't say something soon, he'd just walk across the room and bury his face in Loki's neck. The pull was nearly enough to make him cry, so familiar and yet so at odds with everything he'd held in his mind about Loki since he was free of him. He stepped a few steps closer.

Clint cleared his throat. "I'm sorry I keep showing up without warning."

Loki was definitely smiling, Clint could hear it in his voice even if he couldn't quite look at him yet. "You are welcome where I am at any time. Though I suppose meditation isn't the most vulnerable act you could have caught me doing."

The air in Clint's chest evaporated. He coughed, caught off guard, and finally flicked his eyes to Loki. "Seriously. Do you have no shame?"

The god was smiling, Clint knew it. It pulled him closer, nearly to where Loki was sitting. "I have nothing to be ashamed of, Agent Barton. You have seen every inch of me and heard every sound. There is nothing left for me to hide."

"No," Clint countered, walking towards the dark-haired man. "No, that isn't me. I don't know you- I don't want to know you like that." It was a blatant lie, but he prayed Loki couldn't see it.

"Unfortunately," Loki added.

"What would your Clint think if he found you coming on to me?"

Loki raised a brow. "Do you really want to know?"

Clint cringed. "Nevermind. Your Clint is a freak."

"Deliciously so," Loki agreed, "but you did not come to admire my hawk."

The archer rolled his eyes. There was no arguing with Loki; he knew better. "I need to talk to you."

Loki stood slowly and brushed past Clint, eyes never leaving the archer's as their chests touched for the briefest moment, on his way to the bed. "I'd offer you a chair but they have not given me much in the way of furniture." Clint followed him to the bed and sat as far away as he could, just so he could breathe a little bit. "You very obviously do not feel comfortable being here. I'd love to know what is so vital that you would visit me again."

It needed to be said. He needed to just say it. "What happened earlier-"

"Should not have happened," Loki finished, surprising Clint.

Clint scrambled for something to say; he was expecting uncomfortable banter, if not a fight. "I...agree."

"You were in obvious need and I took advantage of your vulnerability. As your dom, I should have conversed with you previously and outside of a scene as to our parameters and-"

"Woah, woah, woah. The fuck?" Clint interrupted, eyebrows in his hairline. "First, I was not 'in need'. Second, you're my what?"

That made Loki smile again, but not in the slick, mischievous way he usually did. His smile was soft and proud. "Your dom. Well, not yours, but my Clint's. He has allowed me to be the one he chooses to take care of him. I assumed you saw your Loki the same way." The god was bursting with pride, practically glowing.

Clint couldn't think past that word. Dom. That would make Clint his.... "I'm not a sub," he resisted, the words physically making him stand up from the bed and stumble backward. "That's," he raked a hair through his hair, "way outside my wheelhouse. I've never even met a dom before." Another lie, though not as blatant. 

"Professed or not, Agent Barton, you smell of sweet submission," Loki teased, his eyes growing darker with each word.

"That's ridiculous," Clint scoffed, voice going high and thready. "I am not a sub." He felt pinned in place, standing there frozen and numb.

Loki stood as well but didn't advance on him. "I wonder, did you share the same experiences with your Loki as I did with my Clint during our time together in Manhattan?"

Ice.

Clint's veins ran cold and he felt the frigid prickle of hate at the back of his neck. "That depends, did you steal my mind and soul with one touch of your demented glow stick, and then use me to try and kill my best friend and successfully make me kill fellow agents only to further your own selfish plan to dominate our world?" He was breathing hard when he finished, chest heaving and fists pressed to his thigh.

The god looked appropriately chastised but pressed on. "Those are not the experiences I speak of." He stepped a little closer to Clint, still holding most of the room between them, but Clint felt the shrinking distance like a bolt of electricity. "I speak of the nights spent exploring who we are together. I speak of the first time you allowed me to put my hands on you, the night I removed the thrall. I speak of the way you begged-"

"Shut up!" Clint threw at him, face red with fury. "You have no right! What you did to me that week makes me want to rip my own skin off just to...get rid of it." He finished softly, brokenly, and collapsed to the floor to curl up, arms going around his knees. He pressed his forehead to his knees and breathed as deep as he could, trying to make his head stop spinning.

"Clint," Loki whispered, and it was so close it made the archer flinch. He raised his head and Loki was on his knees in front of him. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Fuck you," Clint spat, too tired to put much force behind it.

Loki ignored it and moved to sit next to Clint. It made Clint's entire right side burn, whether it was with hate or something else, he couldn't discern. "I would be forever in your debt if you would do me the honor of telling me what happened between you and your Loki."

Clint shook his head, staring down into his arms. "I can't," he breathed, inhaling a shaky breath.

"Then I will simply sit with you, if that pleases you."

He was so lost, so confused. Clint didn't know what he wanted, but he was sure it wasn't to get up anytime soon; he wasn't even sure his legs would carry him, so he just let his forehead fall to his arms and said, "Okay."

***

I am so falling for this dynamic and I can't wait to see what comes. Next chapter Loki and Clint get a little deeper. Until then, please let me know what you think so far. Any guesses as to what will happen?

Mwah! Xoxo, Jess