Chapter 18
"Hey. Hey. Delta. Watch this."
Delta, preparing to leave the courtyard, stopping and glanced at Blaise. "Yeah?"
Blaise nodded excitedly and lifted up her right hand, raising two fingers. A lively flame burst into existence, crackling at her fingertips like the flame of a candle. But this flame was enormous, almost as large as Blaise's head, and, swaying and swelling in the breeze, it threatened to grow out of control. Blaise furrowed her brow and glared at the flame, scrunching up her face in concentration as the flame shrunk. She didn't break the expression until the flame was the size of her fingernail, small but burning strong.
Still glaring at her fingers, she drew them up in an arc above her head. The fire left a glowing trail behind it, sparks crackling in its wake. Once she'd finished drawing the arc, Blaise extinguished the flames on her fingers and stood under the arc of fire, placing her hand on her hips and staring at Delta expectantly.
The fire hung in the air for a few more moments; then, with a sigh of relief from Blaise, they vanished. Delta stared at the spot it'd been, taking a few moments to process the sight. It was an impressive feat of control, something Blaise certainly would've been unable to do even a week before.
"Oh..." A warm burst of pride blossomed in Delta's chest, filling her whole body with joy before it spilled out of her mouth. "That's amazing, Blaise!"
A wide grin split Blaise's face, and she jumped a tiny bit before rushing over to Delta and tackling her in a tight embrace. Releasing the hug, she stepped back and grinned again, full of breathless joy. "Thank you so much."
"F-for what?" asked Delta, a bit startled.
"For helping me. For agreeing to help me, for sticking around, for being such a good teacher. Thank you."
"I--it's--it's no problem." Delta smiled at Blaise, the warmth in her chest not fading. At some point she'd become emotionally invested in Blaise's training; she wasn't quite sure what that point was or why it happened, but somehow it did, and, right now, seeing Blaise accomplish so much made her immensely proud. I guess Brook was right. There're more than just her.
"But," continued Delta as something occurred to her, "I'm not the only one teaching you. How are lessons with the council going?"
A shadow fell over Blaise's face. "Right. Those." She took a few steps back and shifted from foot to foot, not making eye contact. "Awful, really."
The warmth faded. Delta strode up to Blaise, trying to make eye contact. "Why?"
"Well--it's--" Blaise abruptly stopped fidgeting and fixed her amber eyes right on Delta. "It's me--I'm awful. Captain Sidereus--I can tell I made him feel terrible, and now he's trying so hard to make me happy, and--and now I'm the dirty hypocrite!" She stumbled back a few paces and waved her arms about emphatically as she spoke, seized by fervent frustration. "I can't go through a single lesson with any of them--even Kaia--without snapping at them, or getting angry, or not listening, and--and--even though I made such a big deal about needing help, I just can't stand them telling me what to do."
"You just--"
"I'm awful!" cried Blaise, fire burning in her eyes. "All I look like now is an ungrateful brat, and it's--even though I regret everything I do the instant it happens, I just can't stop myself!" The fire left her eyes, and her arms dropped to her sides. She sighed and her shoulders dropped, as if all the fervor bottled up inside her had been exhaled. "I guess--I guess it's because I'm stubborn. I've spent so long fighting them and resisting them and hating them, so when I finally suck it up and ask for help, it doesn't feel like I've got what I wanted. It...it feels like I've lost."
Delta tilted her head. Sympathy tugged at her heart, but she couldn't quite grasp the source of Blaise's problem. "But it's not a matter of winning or losing."
"I--I know that!" cried Blaise. She shook her head helplessly. "But--it's subconscious at this point, to hate the council. I mean, you hate the council too, don't you..? But--how does it not bother you?"
"I do what's necessary to carry out my duties." Delta placed a hand on Blaise's shoulder. "That's what you have to do, too. If training with the council is what's necessary to carry out your duty as a councilwoman, then that's that."
"When you put it simply like that, it seems easy," sighed Blaise. Shoulders slumped, she kneeled down to pick up her gloves folded on the ground. "But, I mean, I understand that it's necessary. It's not so much a logical problem...I told you, it's almost a subconscious reaction at this point."
"Suck it up and deal with it."
Blaise blinked, looking a bit surprised at the bluntless of the comment, but then resignation washed over her features. "Easier said than done. But I guess that's really the only solution." She finished pulling on her right glove and started on the left. "I don't know why I even bother with these anymore," she joked halfheartedly. "Since everyone seems to know."
"Then don't wear them."
Blaise grimaced and shook her head, movements weighed down by uncertainty. "Well...no...I--I don't think I could do that. It's not really, 'I need to hide the scars so I don't get caught,' anymore, it's...it's different."
"How so?"
"Well...it's like..." Blaise's eyes roved the courtyard, as if she could find the answer written on the walls. She put on a show of struggling to put of her glove, a clear excuse to give her more time to think. When she pulled it up to her elbow, she started speaking again with clear reluctance. "It's--it's like--the scars...they're all caused by my training, right? So I really got them because I can't control my powers, and I'm too stubborn to ask for help. So, the scars, they sort of say, 'Hey, look, here's Blaise who's so inexperienced that she can't even protect herself from her powers, and she's so irresponsible she's not even going to try and get help.' That sort of thing. And...and it feels awful to walk around with physical proof of that everywhere I go. I couldn't...I couldn't stand that."
"But you did ask for help," said Delta. "Isn't that something? The scars are proof of what you've overcome. To put it in your terms, you've won. Won against yourself."
Blaise smiled weakly. "I guess that's true. Thanks, Delta." Her eyes drifted to the courtyard exit. "Oh--I'm sorry! You said you had something to do after today's lesson, and I've been holding you up. S-sorry--you can go now."
"Don't worry. I've always got time to listen." Delta smiled at Blaise. "I'm actually going to meet Brook. Alina's finishing up her first meeting on Earth, and Brook wants to wait for her. Do you want to come?"
"Oh--of course!" Blaise scurried over to Delta and fell into step beside her, keeping pace as they walked into the palace. "I want to see how Adrian's doing."
Delta scowled at the name. Recalling his detached demeanor, green eyes glazed over with apathy, brought abandoned embers of fury burning back to life. Ever more than that--terrible memories of shadowed forests, plumes of fire, and Brook's screams twisted her stomach into knots.
Blaise noticed Delta's clear discomfort and remarked, "You can't hate him forever."
"Try me."
Blaise frowned at Delta. When she spoke, her words were soft and hesitant, as if she was afraid speaking them might shatter the air around them. "Have you told Brook?"
Delta bit her lip. "Told her what?"
"What happened to Adrian."
"What makes you think I haven't told her?"
"I was talking with her," said Blaise. "She asked me if I knew who the human spy was. I wasn't going to tell her, so I pretended I didn't know."
"Well," murmured Delta, "I'll get to it."
"She'll find out the second Alina opens her mouth," warned Blaise with a frown. "Do you really want that to be the way she finds out?"
Feeling like Blaise's stare was burning a hole through her, Delta muttered something incomprehensible and glanced away, looking at anything but Blaise. Blaise was right, of course, but Delta balked at the thought of admitting the lie to Brook. How would she react? Not only had Delta lied to her, but her "friend" that she'd previously thought safe was actually in peril. "No..." Then, with great reluctance: "I'll tell her when we meet her."
"Good." Blaise crossed her arms. "I think Adrian needs someone to care about him."
"Don't you?"
"Of course, but I can barely counteract your bloodlust."
Delta rolled her eyes. "I don't want him to die, Blaise. He's on a vital mission that could save Brook."
A smile crept up Blaise's face, and, in an attempt to create some levity, playfully nudged Delta. "Hey, I know that. You're past that phase." As quickly as it appeared, the smile faded. "But you wouldn't do it again, right?"
Delta frowned at Blaise in confusion. "Do what?"
"Sacrifice him like that. Sacrifice anyone, for that matter."
The forest attack. "You're still hung up on that?"
Blaise shrugged. "I guess not. I--I understand that Brook's important to you. But--just curious."
Delta took a moment to consider the question, unable to give Blaise the answer Delta knew she wanted.
Blaise instantly sprung on the silence. "You know it's wrong, right? Everyone's got their own ambitions and feelings and life, and even if you don't know them, that doesn't mean those things don't exist. There's--there's got to be a better option."
Delta closed her eyes and trailed her fingers along the wall to not stray off her path. Perhaps, earlier, she wouldn't have been able to, but she now understood Blaise's words, why Blaise detested the idea so. But Brook was her everything. Not everything. There's more. But, certainly, the most important. "Blaise. I understand how you feel. I'll try to avoid it. Is that fine for now?"
A pause. "I suppose."
Breathing a soft sigh of relief, Delta opened her eyes. She gazed down the dark hallway, where she saw two figures lingering in the hall.
"...is that Brook?" said Blaise.
"It can't be," said Delta, though her words were heavy with uncertainty. "We agreed that I'd pick her up at her room." But the closer they walked, the clearer the figures became, and one was clearly Brook. Black hair against white bandages; she was unmistakable. Panic bubbled up, sending Delta's heart racing. She shot off down the hall at full tilt.
Delta, unable to slow herself in time, raced right past Brook and came to a skidding halt. She spun around and rushed over to Brook, gasping for breath.
"Wh-who's there?" Brook staggered backward, hands lifted up in front of her defensively.
"It's--it's me." Delta threw her hand on Brook's shoulder. "S-sorry."
"Delta!" Brook smiled in relief and leaned against the wall. "Sorry if I scared you."
"Why're--why're you out here?"
"Oh--that's--" Brook scratched her head and smiled sheepishly. "You were running kind of late, and, I mean, I figured you were busy, and I was worried I'd miss Alina, so when Saros came by and offered to walk me here, I figured, why not? This place is on the way from the courtyard, so I thought you wouldn't miss me...I'm...I'm sorry I made you worry."
Delta winced, feeling as if she'd just been struck. While she'd been off neglecting her duties, Brook had been here, waiting for her, needing her--and Delta hadn't been there. "I should've been there for you."
Brook grabbed Delta's hand and seized it in both of hers. "Hey, Delta. Don't take it so hard. It's a small thing. I'm glad you were out. Okay? So don't take this the wrong way. Please." Her smile turned pleading.
"Right," murmured Delta. She continued to hold Brook's hand, unwilling to let go just yet. Their warmth gradually slowed her pounding heart.
"Hey," mumered Blaise, the word almost inaudible. She elbowed Delta. "Tell her."
Delta bit her lip and took a step back, pulling her hands from Brook's grasp; the contact suddenly caused a spark of guilt. "Brook," she murmured, eyes trained on the floor. "Earlier...I lied to you."
"About what?" Brook's tone was cool and mild, revealing nothing. Delta chanced a look upward, seeing Brook's mouth set in a neutral line. The bandages hid everything else.
"What happened to Adrian. He--"
"He's the spy, right?"
Delta looked up in surprise. "You know?"
"Alina told me just this morning." Though Brook's voice stayed even, the corners of her mouth slid down. "Listen, Delta. I know that you want to protect me. That's even your job. But that doesn't mean you can shield me from the truth. Even if I am very weak physically, my mind isn't made of glass. I'm not going to shatter at the tiniest bit of bad news--which we get plenty of. I can't ever hope to be responsible for myself if I live in a fortress of lies."
"...of course." Delta hung her head, each sentence a blow to her heart.
"I'm not angry." Brook placed a gentle hand on Delta's shoulder and flashed her a warm smile. "Just no more lies, okay?"
"No more lies," repeated Delta, sealing the promise with her life.
Brook merely smiled at her. Unsure of what else to say, Delta took a step back and leaned against the wall. She became aware of a quiet conversation and turned her head. Blaise was engaged in a conversation with Saros; she appeared to be reluctant to participate, answering shortly and avoiding eye contact.
With Saros. King Saros. Delta dimly recalled Brook mentioning him, but she'd been too caught up in her panic to notice or care. Saros glanced over in Delta's direction and smiled.
"Hello," he greeted, practically radiating warmth. Saros, with his pale skin, dark hair, and sturdy build, could have easily been mistaken for his brother, if not for a few key differences. No heavy aura of pensiveness hung over his shoulders; no stern, perpetual scowl marked his face, nor did his dark eyes gaze at everything with deep solemnity. Saros was lively and loose and cheerful, traits that the people adored him for. "I'm sorry for taking Brook away. I hope you don't mind?"
"Of course not, King Saros," said Delta. The words came out a bit dryly, a touch of resentment edging her voice. Stop that. It's your own fault for not being there.
Though Brook chidingly clicked her tongue, Saros shrugged it off. "So are you here to wait for Alina as well?"
"I am," replied Delta. "Wh--" She cut herself off. Interrogating Saros would definitely be too far over the line, even if his presence there was a bit strange. Brook made sense--Alina was her sister--but why would Saros be so intrigued? Well, Alina is his student and successor. Perhaps that's why.
"I was just asking Lady Ignis how her training is going," chatted Saros. Blaise frowned as the comment and glanced around in clear discomfort, perhaps both at the title and the question.
No wonder Blaise had looked so tense. "Well," said Delta, "my lessons with her are going quite well. She's made significant progress. As for training with the council, it may be a bit too early to see how it's working."
Saros paused. "That's good."
Blaise breathed a sigh of relief.
Saros opened his mouth to speak again, but the low, deep sound of scraping stone cut him off. All heads turned to the door they were gathered around; it slid open slowly. Alina appeared in the doorway, clearly struggling to push the heavy door open. Saros darted forward and pulled the door open with ease, leaving Alina standing there, blinking, hands still raised, as if she hadn't quite processed what had happened.
With a sigh her arms fell her her side and she fell onto the door frame, leaning on it with all her weight. She trembled ever so slightly. Delta hurried forward and put Alina's arm over her shoulder, holding her stance as most of Alina's weight fell onto her.
"Are you okay?" asked Delta.
"F-fine," murmured Alina, voice weak and faint. "Just a bit tired. Th-the spell took more out of me than I thought. Guess I'm out of practice."
"Alina!" Brook took a few unsteady steps forward, arms stretched out in front of her. Blaise jumped forward and, with on hand on Brook's shoulder, guided her forward to Alina. Brook seized Alina in a tight hug, which Alina attempted to return with one arm. Once Brook stepped back, Alina's arm immediately darted back to the wall, taking some of the weight of Delta.
Saros stepped forward. "How'd it go?" Any trace of his conversational friendless was gone, replaced by a intense, almost desperate tone.
Alina seemed to shrink under his boring gaze. "Um, good. The human spy is doing quite well. He's gathered much information about the killer?"
Saros, whom Alina claimed to be quite understanding and perceptive, pressed on, despite Alina's clear discomfort. "Is there an organization?"
"Unfortunately, yes."
"Do you know where it is?" Saros took a step forward, looming over the wilted Alina.
Delta pulled Alina a bit closer and took a step back; a wave of dismay washed over her as her back hit the wall. Alina, with considerable effort, lifted her head and met Saros's eyes. "I don't think we should be talking about this in the hallway, where anybody could hear. It's confidential information, after all, and with the chance of a spy about..." She let the words hang in the air for a few moments. "I'd prefer to present it in a meeting with the rest of the council."
Saros remained quiet for a few moments; for a wild heartbeat, his desperate expression deepend into a scowl. Delta's stomach turned as she wondered if she'd have to protect Alina. Something about Saros's frown sent chills up her spine, made her want to grab Brook and run until the kingdom was a mere speck against the blue sky.
Just as quickly as it appeared, the frown was gone, and Saros took a step back, desperation and anger completely vanished. "That makes sense," conceded Saros with a grin. "I'll have to arrange it as soon as possible. In the meantime, Alina, you should rest."
The tension was broken so quickly, Delta thought she might collapse there and then. Alina slumped against her shoulder, breaths quick and shallow. Sparing a glance at Blaise and Brook, she saw that they were both pressed against the far wall, Blaise's normally tan face gone as white as the palace stone. Even Brook had sensed the tension, and her mouth was twisted into a small, uneasy frown.
"Um, of course, King Saros," murmured Alina. "Would you take me to my room, Delta?"
"Certainly." Delta set off down the hallway, slowing her pace so Alina didn't struggle to keep up.
"I--I'll come too!" Brook staggered forward in their general direction, both hands planted on the wall. It was the first time Delta had seen Brook even attempt to go somewhere without a guide.
"Me too!" exclaimed Blaise, leaping forward to guide Brook. With Blaise's help, they moved much faster and fell into step with Delta and Alina.
They crept onward in tense silence, hardly daring to breathe until they heard Saros's steps heading in the other direction, grower quieter every second. Even after they faded into silence, nobody spoke, waiting until Saros could have walked the entire length of the palace.
Brook, of course, was the one to break the silence. She battered Alina with question after question, most of which Alina deflected, repeating her statement about spies. Every time the word was mentioned, Blaise scowled. But eventually Blaise was drawn into the conversation, and she and Brook took turns interrogating Alina about Adrian's well being. Alina couldn't give much information; the extent of her knowledge was "alive and unharmed."
First Delta dropped Alina off at her room. Blaise seemed to loosen up significantly after that. Next went Brook. Afterwards Delta and Blaise walked aimlessly down the halls both unsure about their next destination.
It didn't take Delta long to decide. "I'm going to go back to Brook."
Blaise merely nodded, and they turned around to head back to Brook's room.
"Hey, Delta," ventured Blaise. "Do you have your answer?"
"For what?"
"Sacrificing others."
Delta didn't answer; rather, she concentrated on walking forward in a straight line. She still understood Blaise's perspective, but the idea of leaving Brook alone had reignited something within her. Protecting Brook was her job, her duty. Without Brook, what would Delta be? Still something. Brook was her world. There's more than just her. But, even if there was more, Brook was still the most important. Couldn't Blaise understand that?
"Blaise," said Delta, quietly, "if you could have saved Enyah's life by sacrificing a stranger, would you have done it?"
"I--" Blaise stopped short, her footsteps ceasing.
Delta walked onward, leaving Blaise to think alone in the crumbling hallway.
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