To my very first oc,

Maybe there would have been hope for you. I don't know. I can't bear to look at your face nor speak your name, every thought of you a disgusting and horrible haze that reminds me of the idiotic and naive child i used to be. If I could kill you and make sure you never existed in the first place, i would. But i can't do that, so all i can do is move on.

But, then again, there's a part of me that pities myself and you. You represent everything i had no courage to speak about when i was young. You were my outlet and for that i am sorry. Maybe that's why i hate you so much. You're representative of everything i would rather forget, everything i wish never happened to me.

All I can do is move on now, but there will always be a little part— no matter how much i want to kill it— of you living in the back of my head. You're a dark and precious thing to me, a vast void of traumatic memories i'd rather shove away and forget about, but you also have some of the brightest stars that kept me going then.

However, I have to expand my horizons. I will miss the joy i felt with you dearly but i think today is the day i will let you rest. Today is the day i make it out of here. It's not time to fall asleep yet. Not for me.

And there will be some day i will face every bad memory you hold in your heart.

Ever sorry,
Cameron, your creator