A/N: songs to set the scene:
- if the world was ending - jp saxe, julia michaels
- hold on - chord overstreet
*Picture is what Jamie looks like throughout the beginning of the chapter
_______________________________

October 1, 2021

Jamie's POV

The day arrived all too soon. Sofia had finished filming most of the movie, so she was heading back to LA this weekend. Today I'm meeting with Collins and Adams, but I'm dreading what will be said. I've been home for almost two months and I'm not ready to get sent out again. I've enjoyed the time with my family this time around and, most importantly, meeting Sofia.

I look in the mirror and adjust my uniform once more before heading to grab my wallet, phone, and keys. I make my way to the front door and take a deep breath. I tuck my cap under my arm as I walk to the car, which I'm very happy Kimberly left me otherwise I'd be a sweating mess if I had to walk across base to Gunnery Sergeant Collins' office. I get the car started and make my way to learn my fate. You're probably wondering 'Jamie, why are you freaking out so much?' And I'd have to tell you that these meetings only lead to one thing: deployment. Like I said earlier, I've actually enjoyed these past two months and want to keep exploring things with Sofia. Hard for me to do that across the globe with little to no access to the internet.

I soon reach the parking lot and turn the car off. I take a moment to collect myself and grab my cap from the passenger seat. I look around at the young men and women moving around the open space. Some heading towards the Mess Hall not too far from here probably grabbing breakfast after a long morning of PT. While others scurry to meetings with their superiors. I adjust my cap on my head and lock the car before heading up the few stairs into the office building.

The closer I get to Gunnery Sergeant Collins' office, the louder my heartbeat is in my ears. I don't fear death. Death is inevitable and everyone must face it. I knew joining the military meant I'd come face-to-face with death multiple times, but the closer I've gotten with Sofia this past month is making it a lot harder to accept these moments.

I stand in front of Gunnery Sergeant Collins' door and knock, waiting to be let in. "Come in," I faintly hear through the door, so I step inside. I take my cap off and tuck it under my left arm, saluting my Commanding Officer. "At ease, Sergeant," Collins states and I take a seat next to Jessica. We both sit facing the man who will have our backs on and off the battlefield.

"I hope you've enjoyed your time with family and friends," he looks between the two of us and I nod my head. "Yes, sir. My mother unfortunately passed, but I got to see her as soon as we got back in August," I state and he gives me a sad smile. "I'm sorry to hear that, Sergeant. Other than that, I hope you've at least gotten to spend a lot of time with the family," he tries lightening the mood a bit and I nod my head. "Yes, sir," I keep the formalities short, feeling the weight in the room of our looming conversation.

"I'm sure you both already know why you're here today," he looks at us. "Yes, sir," we say in unison. "There are talks of Russia invading Ukraine in hopes of taking over. This doesn't bode well for anyone, but especially Ukraine. We are being tasked with making sure that the people of Ukraine are safely evacuated before Russia can hurt anyone. There's likely going to be fighting, but we're not going to interfere until the Ukrainian military says they need it. Our sole focus is to make sure civilians are safely evacuated to the nearby countries," his words cause my heart to sink. If Russia really thinks they can just waltz into another country to take it over, they're sorely mistaken.

"Sir, when will we be leaving?" Jessica speaks up and I look over at her. "We're set to leave early-January, unless things take a turn for the worse and Russia invades sooner. Humanity is suffering enough and doesn't need anymore bullies," Collins keeps a stoic face the entire time but I can see in his eyes that he doesn't know the outcome of this.

"Echo Company will meet tomorrow at 0500 to discuss the details. Please treat the next couple of months with your loved ones as if you won't be coming home. We don't know what we're getting into when we get there," he stands and we both follow suit. Jessica and I salute him, and he dismisses the two of us. We leave the room and I place my cap back on my head. As the material touches my head, I feel a breath leave my body.

"Are you okay?" Jessica keeps up with my long strides as we exit the building. "I think I will be," I pause my steps and turn my full attention towards the person I know who's just as scared as me. "Jess, you're in charge of coming up with our PT schedule and regime these next two months. I'll reach out to the group and schedule a meeting for tomorrow morning after PT. Sound good?" I lay out the plan and she nods her head.

"Yes, sir," she salutes me and I chuckle. "At ease, Corporal," I head towards the car and hear Jessica not too far behind. "Going to tell the family?" She asks and I pause unlocking the door, "I'll talk to them tonight. I don't need to pull EJ out of school for this. I'm going to have my first hard conversation though." She looks at me confused and I lean against the car door. "I've been getting to know someone these past two months and she's about to get a taste of our reality that I'm not looking forward to her going through," I sigh and Jessica gives me a tight lipped smile. "I'm sure she'll be understanding. If not, it's her loss," she touches my forearm and I smile at her.

"I don't even know how I make her feel," I take a deep breath and Jessica steps closer, pulling me into a hug. "It'll be okay," she mumbles and steps back. We exchange a soft smile and go our separate ways to let our loved ones know our time together is ending soon. 

~~

I pull into the hotel roundabout and stare at the sliding doors. A knock on my window startles me. I roll the windows down. "Sir, do you want me to park your car?" The young valet asks and I just nod my head. I leave my cap in the passenger seat and step out of the vehicle. The young man hands me a slip that matches my keys. I watch him pull the car away and take a deep breath. I look over Sofia's messages again for her room number and head straight for the elevator.

As I stand in the empty elevator, my heart rate increases with each passing floor. The doors open, revealing the empty hallway. I look at the room numbers and finally reach the correct door '624'. I knock on the door and hear a faint 'coming' on the other side. The door unlatches and before me is the most stunning woman I've ever seen and to think she's interested in me is still unbelievable. Sofia's smile beams at me and she throws her arms around my neck. I wrap my arms around her waist and inhale her comforting scent.

Before long we hear someone in the room clear their throat and we pull apart. I glance towards the slightly taller man standing about a foot away. "Oh, Jamie, you remember Nick," she smiles up at me and I return the soft smile.

I put my hand out to properly greet him and he glances at it before walking past the both of us. "Sof, don't forget what we were talking about. Call me if you ever wanna get together," I see a sly, conniving smirk grace Nick's face as he leaves the room.

I shake my head of the worries about him as I remember what brought me here. "What's got you all dressed up?" Sofia asks, pulling me with her to the couch. "I had a meeting with my commanding officer," I pause and take a deep breath, leaning my posture forward. As I fiddle with my fingers, I feel Sofia rubbing her hand up and down my back.

"Umm, Sof, I need you to go into this with an open-mind and not worry straight off the bat," I look at her and see the confusion on her face, but she nods her head. "Sof, my unit is getting deployed at the start of the New Year. There's some stuff brewing overseas that we need to help with and it's not going to look good for us. ," I get up and walk towards the window overlooking the roads leading to the beach. I turn back around and see Sofia watching my every move. "I don't know if I'll come home from this one, but I wanted to tell you as soon as I heard the orders," I keep my eyes locked on hers as I sit on the small table in front of the couch.

I take her hands into mine and take a deep breath, "Whatever this is between us, I don't want it to end. I don't want it to end when you leave to go back to LA, and I absolutely don't want it to end when I get shipped off to Ukraine in January." I look up from our hands to see a few tears developing in her eyes. I can't fight the feeling that I want to cry too.

"Jamie, I'm not going anywhere. I told you that from the beginning. I'm here for you no matter what," she scoots closer to the edge of the couch and takes my face in her hands. I place my hands over her hers and keep my eyes locked on hers.

"I've fallen head over heels for you, and I didn't even know it was possible to happen so quickly," Sofia shocks me and I can't help my smile forming. Not finding the words, I capture her lips with mine. The kiss isn't quick, wanting her to feel the emotions I can't form into words.

I pull away and rest our foreheads together. "I'm so scared," I say, barely above a whisper. "More scared than I've ever been," I add as Sofia pulls back to see my face. She continues holding my face in her hands and caresses my cheeks. "I'll be here no matter what," she says so simply and it warms my heart.

I stand from the table and sit next to Sofia on the couch. She moves her body as close as possible to mine and I can't help but wrap my arms around her. Protecting her. Not wanting this war to take me away from her. I close my eyes and take in the feeling of our bodies together. Knowing now that we are only guaranteed until the beginning of January.

Sofia and I simultaneously pull back, locking our eyes and I can't help the feeling bubbling inside me. I lean down and capture her lips with mine. I don't want to miss an opportunity like this. She wraps her arms around my neck and shifts her body to lay on the couch. I hover over her and search her face to see if she's okay with this. "I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes," she breathlessly gets out and I just smile.

I continue kissing along her jaw and neck, and her breathy moans don't go unnoticed. I make my way back up to her lips and feel her hands slide down my neck, unbuttoning my khaki shirt. Not once does our focus leave the other's lips.

~~

I wake up with a weight on my chest and realize what just happened: I had sex with Sofia. Not only was that shocking to me cause we've only known each other for such little time, but also I just slept with a celebrity! I rub my fingers over her bare back and admire her beautiful face.

"Didn't your mom ever teach you, it's not nice to stare?" Sofia mumbles against my chest and I let out a breathy chuckle. "My mom actually told me I should always admire an angel if I ever came across one," I smirk as Sofia looks up at me, fighting the smile from forming on her lips. I brush a strand of loose hair from her face and feel a warmth over my body as Sofia kisses the palm of my hand.

"You need to tell EJ and Kimberly," Sofia lays her head back on my chest and I sigh in response. "I know, I'll have to wait until tonight. EJ has a game and I don't want to take away from his focus," I stare at the ceiling, feeling Sofia's fingers tracing the various scars covering my chest. "I can come with you," Sofia says and my mind eases a bit more. "I'd love to have you there. I'm sure EJ would like you actually getting to see him play," I chuckle and her soft giggle fills my ears. "Looking forward to it," she says, quietly.

We lay in silence, letting the news of me getting deployed in January sink in for the both of us. I'm not sure what's going through Sofia's mind, but I can only imagine how daunting this all is for her. My mind drifts to the worry that this will become too much for her and she'll leave like everyone always does. The fear of never coming home has grown tenfold with Sofia in my life. I've always feared not coming home and leaving Kimberly to raise EJ on her own or to take care of our mom. Even though she wouldn't be fully alone with Emily's help, it'd still be too much responsibility just for her to tackle.

I've grown attached to someone after only knowing them for a month. Sofia has been a light in my life that I never knew I'd get to have. I just hope that after she leaves for LA, I don't become a no one to her.

"What ya thinking about?" Sofia breaks me from my thoughts. "Will we be okay when you leave for LA tomorrow?" I ask, bracing for her reaction. Sofia adjusts to prop herself up on her elbow to look at me. "I think we will. LA isn't that far from here, and if my schedule isn't super busy I'll come down and visit. We will make it work," she says, and I lean down to capture her lips. "Thank you," is all I can muster up to say. She gives me a smile and lays her head back on my chest.

I hear my phone vibrating on the table and groan at the world not allowing me to bask in my happiness. I reach over to grab it and look at the screen to see I have a message from Jonathan.

Johnny

Hey dude,

just got some

news. You free?

My heart immediately sinks and goes to the worst. I kiss the top of Sofia's head and sit up. "What's wrong?" She asks, not moving from her spot so her head just slides down to my abdomen. "Jonathan texted and needs to talk. Is it alright if I call him?" I ask and she nods her head. I hit his name and FaceTime him.

After two rings, his face fills my screen and I see that he's in his Naval uniform. "Hey, what's up?" I ask and his face looks a bit grim. "I just had a meeting with one of my superiors. Looks like I'm getting sent out in January," his words hit me like a truck and I feel Sofia's body tense too. I glance down at her and her eyes are already on me. She nods her head and lifts off me to get dressed. I pull the blanket back over my lower body and turn my attention back to my friend.

"John, I'm getting shipped out too," I bluntly state and I see him stop walking wherever he is. "What?" He looks at me bewildered. "We're both leaving at the same time," I say again and his face becomes even more bleak. "Kimberly and EJ are going to be devastated," John adds and I sigh. "I know, I haven't told them yet. EJ has a game tonight so I want him to stay focused," I state, and John nods in agreement. "Have you told Sofia?" He asks and I nod.

"How'd she take it?" "I think as best as she could, having never been through this before. I came straight to her hotel when I found out. Didn't even change out of my uniform," I chuckle and for the first time on this call, I see John smile a bit. "Bet she couldn't resist you in that thing," he jokes and I avoid eye contact with my phone not wanting to give too much away to my friend.

"Oh my god! Did you have sex?" He quietly yells and I just roll my eyes. "You totally did!" He starts getting excited and I cover my face, feeling it heating up. "Alright, let's sit the three down tonight and tell them what's happening. Emily is coming to EJ's game tonight too, so we can tell all of them together," I quickly change the subject and John nods. "Sounds good. Tell Sofia I said hi and I'll see you tonight," we end the call and I see Sofia leaning against the wall near the bathroom door.

"Did you really tell him we had sex?" Sofia chuckles and I flop my body to the side into the pillows, groaning. I peak up and see her walking towards the bed. "I technically didn't say anything. He assumed," I prop myself up on my elbows as she reaches the edge of the bed. "I guess I'll forgive you then, but he was right. You're very attractive in uniform," she smiles and I roll my eyes. I grab the back of her thighs, pulling her down onto the bed. Her giggles fill the room as we take a moment to forget about the world around us.

~~

Sofia and I proceeded to lay in her hotel room just talking. Continuing to learn about each other. She opened up to me about how she hates the celebrity lifestyle. Never getting any privacy when she's out hanging with Paulina. She also told me more about her parents and life growing up in Miami.

Her family sounds close, which I wouldn't know anything about. I told her more about life in the military and how I've loved getting to see so many different places but how I want to take Kimberly and EJ some day to experience all of those beautiful places.

"I know you said your mom kicked your dad out when you were younger, have you heard from him at all since then?" Sofia asks as I slip my dress shoes back on. "I'm one of the reasons he was kicked out by my mom, so if he tried reaching out to me I'm sure it would just be to tell me I was a mistake and the reason his life was ruined," I shrug as I finish tying my shoes.

"What was it like growing up?" Her question stops my motions and I take a deep breath. "Everything was pretty typical. My dad was a detective in the San Diego Police Department and my mom was a nurse at the Rady Children's Hospital in San Diego. They both worked a lot, but they still managed to be there for all of us," I stand up and readjust my belt.

"My dad wasn't very invested in our lives. He cared more about his badge and bottles of whiskey than our family," I sigh and turn to face Sofia. "My mom kicking him out was the best day for our family," I add and she gives me a sad smile. She smooths out my shirt and drapes her arms over my shoulders. "Your mom raised a man who is one of the most caring and selfless people I have ever met," she gives me a light kiss on the lips and I can't help the smile on my face.

"Thank you. My mom would've loved you," I admit, putting my hands on her hips. "I wish I could've met her. Get to know the strong woman who raised three awesome humans," she smiles and I kiss her forehead. "We should probably get to the house so I can change. Did you want to stay the night before you leave tomorrow?" I ask, hoping she'd say yes. "That sounds like a great idea. Mind helping me pack my bags," she replies easily and I nod my head. We get to work grabbing her things.

I fold up her clothes making them fit into her two suitcases with plenty of extra space. "Dang, how'd you do that?" She comes up next to me, inspecting the bag. "Military packing, remember? I have to fit so many clothes in my one bag along with some larger items cause you never know what weather you'll face," I state proudly as Sofia puts the pieces of clothing I didn't want to handle. We might have had sex no more than a few hours ago, I still want her to feel some sort of privacy with me not touching all of her underwear.

She puts her toiletries and make-up bags in her smaller suitcase, and we zip them up. "All set," she grabs her small purse and I roll the two bags to the door. "Have everything?" I turn around and ask before we leave the room. Sofia nods her head and grabs the door for me. We make our way to the elevator and wait for the doors to open. "How often do you wear this uniform?" Sofia asks and I smooth out my khaki dress shirt before answering. "This one, pretty much whenever I'm on base working. Think of it as business casual in an office setting," I look at her and she hums. "Why? Do you like it?" I quirk an eyebrow and she smiles. "It's definitely doing things for me," she smirks and leans up to kiss my lips. The elevator door opens and we break apart to head downstairs.

~~

Once Sofia got checked-out and I got the car from the valet, we headed to the house. We kept our hands interlocked on her lap while I drove through the winding roads to Camp Pendleton. I get waved through by the attending guards at the gate and continue on our journey home.

As we get closer to the house, I see Jonathon's truck sitting in our driveway. I pull up next to it and take a deep breath. Sofia squeezes my hand and it reminds me I'm not alone through any of this. We head to the back of my car and grab her two suitcases from the trunk. I give Sofia the keys and pick up both of her suitcases.

Sofia unlocks the door and I can make out two voices in the kitchen. I sit Sofia's suitcases near the door and follow her towards the two people in the kitchen. When I turn the corner, I see Kimberly and Jonathan sitting at the dining room table. John is in a similar uniform as me and Kim is still in her nurse scrubs. "Hey," I greet both and head to my little sister to give a hug.

I sit next to Kim, while Sofia sits next to John. "I'm assuming John's already told you the news," Kim starts the conversation and I look over at Jonathan who's eyes avoid mine. "Yeah, we talked already but I thought we were going to wait," I state but see Kimberly's face contort into confusion. "Sometimes these things are unexpected, but everything always works themselves out in the end," Kim states, making me confused on what we're both talking about.

"Sis, I think we're both talking about two different things. What's going on?" I ask and she takes a deep breath. She places a pregnancy test on the kitchen table and I lock eyes with Sofia. I don't know whether to be terrified for Jonathan or excited for my baby sister and best friend, who are about to be parents. Sofia stands up and hugs Kim, both excited. I look at Jonathan and he looks pale as a ghost. "Congrats, bro," I stand and hug John in the tightest embrace. "You guys are gonna be great parents," I look between the two. "This kid is gonna have a village and the best one to love and support them," I pat John's back and give my sister the biggest smile I can.

We sit and talk about preparations we should anticipate for the baby. Sof and I constantly lock eyes, reading each other's minds on how messed up this whole situation is. "So what's the plan if you get deployed during the pregnancy?" I blatantly ask Jonathan since now my sister needs to know rather than wait to tell her later. "Umm, we'll handle it like we have the past few deployments. We'll stay in constant communication whenever we are able and I'll write as often as I can too," John tries giving the best answer I know he can.

"I agree, we'd handle the best we can. I know John's always at risk when he's deployed, just like you, but we can't do anything but hope that you'll both always come home to us," Kim takes my hand and squeezes it, giving me a half smile. The air remains heavy knowing I have to tell Kimberly that I'm getting sent out again in January.

I look at my freshly shined shoes and take a deep breath. "I'm out in January," the words leave my mouth fairly quickly. I hear Kim's breath hitch and a soft 'no' leave her lips. "When did you find out?" She asks, taking her hand away from mine. "I met with Sergeant Collins this morning. He's giving us a ship out date sometime at the beginning of January," I fold my hands in front of me and keep my eyes locked on the table in front of me.

"When did you plan on telling us?" Kim looks at me and I can't bear to see her sad eyes. "I was gonna tell you and EJ tonight after his game. I wanted him to be focused," I sigh out and feel the heaviness. Kimberly wipes under her eyes and takes a shaky breath. "We'll tell him after the game, and will do the usual plans. Make sure that everything is set in place. Sof, do you have any plans tonight?" Kimberly turns her attention towards Sofia, who looks like a deer in headlights. "I'm going to stay the weekend. Originally, I was supposed to leave for LA tomorrow, but after everything today I need to be here," Sofia reaches her hand towards Kim's and they give each other a soft smile.

~~

The rest of the afternoon was the four of us talking about the baby. I watched Jonathan the entire time and he was sweating worse than a whore in church. Sofia and Kimberly enjoyed the baby talk, but I was worried about how Kimberly would take Jonathan's news of being shipped out the same time as me. I did my best to not mention it since it's not my news to tell.

After a while, I could tell Kimberly was a bit tired so her and Jonathan headed to her room to relax before we had to leave for EJ's football game. "You look tired," Sofia moves to the chair beside me and runs her fingers over my cheek. I close my eyes and sigh at her soft touch. "I feel tired," I open my eyes and smile at her. "How about we go take a nap?" She asks and I nod my head.

She takes my hand and leads me to my bedroom. I unbutton my dress shirt and hang it in my closet. I stop undoing my pants, catching the picture on my wall of my first deployment. My mom on my right and a young Kimberly on my left with a very young EJ in front of me. I remember that day just like every other deployment and arrival home.

~Flashback June 2010~

I walk towards the large group of young men and women, just like me, going overseas away from their families for who knows how long. As we approach Echo Company, I stop and salute First Sergeant Moore and Sergeant Collins. Sergeant Collins was my Drill Instructor during boot camp and became somewhat a big brother to me. "At ease soldier," Moore addresses me and I grab the strap of my bag. "Sir, I'd like you to meet my mother, Victoria," I gesture towards my mom and First Sergeant Moore shakes her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am. Your son is a fine addition to Echo Company. You should be very proud," he removes his hand and her smile couldn't be larger. "I appreciate the kind words. We're very proud of Jamie," my mom beams up at me.

"Who would these two be?" Sergeant Collins points towards Kimberly and EJ. "This is my sister, Kimberly, and my little brother, EJ," I pointed to them. Collins and Moore both greet them, and turn their attention back to me. "We should be heading out shortly. Say your goodbyes and head to the plane," I salute Sergeant Collins at his instructions, and they both walk away.

I turn to my family and immediately have Kimberly jumping into my arms. "Please don't leave," she sniffles into my neck and I tighten my embrace. "I'm always with you," I say, feeling her tears against my neck. She gets off and I turn my attention towards EJ. "I love you, buddy," I pull him into my arms and he tightens his hold around my neck. "I love you too," he says into my neck. "I'll be back for your birthday, okay?" I tell the six year old and he nods.

I stand up and look at my mom. She flattens my uniform and looks up at me. "You take care of yourself, okay? No being a hero," her words make me chuckle. "Yes, ma'am," I open my arms for my mom and she wraps me in her arms. "Excuse me, do you want a picture?" A mom nearby asks us and we quickly accept. We get situated for the quick picture and my mom coordinates to make sure she gets the picture later.

We turn our attention back to each other. "Write every chance you get," she pulls back and wipes her eyes. "I will. I'll see you in December," I state and kiss Kimberly's forehead before following the others to the plane. Right as we reach the ramp, I turn around and look back at my family. I see Kimberly's face shoved into my mom's side and can tell she's sobbing. I wave at my mom and EJ in the distance. I turn back around and take a deep breath. I find an open seat and get strapped in.

~End of Flashback~

I smile at the picture and feel arms snake around my waist. "You okay?" Sofia rests her chin on my shoulder. I turn in her arms and place my hands on her waist. "I will be," I kiss her forehead. "I grabbed you a pair of shorts. Figured you'd want out of your dress pants," she hands me the shorts and I smile at her. "Thank you," I head to the bathroom to change. I look at myself in the mirror and see the tiredness. I splash some water on my face and grab my pants off the floor to hang up in the closet.

I glance at the bed and see Sofia's back to me. I put my pants on the back of the desk chair and decide my pants can wait. I crawl in behind her and wrap my arms around her. I kiss her clothed shoulder and peek over to see she's texting someone. "My sister is coming. She'll be here before EJ's game," Sofia turns over and I prop myself up on my elbow. "Okay, does she need a place to stay?" I ask and she just smiles up at me. "Probably, but I can ask her what her plans are," she says and I nod my head. "If she wants, she can stay here. I'll take the couch and you two can have my bed," I offer and she frowns. "I appreciate the kind gesture. Very chivalrous of you," she leans up and pecks my lips.

~Nightmare~

I lay on the cold, damp ground as the rest of Echo Company catches a few hours of rest. "Anything Sergeant?" Private Jacobs comes up and lays beside me. "Nothing yet, kid. Heard anything on the radio?" I ask, taking a sip from my canteen. "Pretty silent," he looks through his night vision binoculars. I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out a photo of Sophia I took at the baseball game. "Who's the girl?" Jacobs asks and I smile, putting the picture back into my jacket.

"She's my girlfriend," I look at him and he looks surprised. "Sergeant Hamilton has a girlfriend? Wow," he cracks the joke and I shove his shoulder. "I know, I'm surprised too," I chuckle softly. "Got anyone back home?" I ask him and he shakes his head. "Nope, I've been too busy. Being in the military isn't an easy shoe-in for dating," he states and I have to agree with him.

I hear gunshots in the distance and look at Jacobs. "Wake the others," I command and he runs off. I pick up my gun and prepare to shoot any nearby enemies. I scan the dark woods ahead of me and see nothing, but continue hearing the gunshots. Approaching footsteps accompany the gunshots and my body goes on high alert.

The Russian voices get closer and I maintain my position in the debris. "они здесь. я слышал голоса," the Russian soldier says to his comrade. I keep my gun in front of me, prepared to take either man down. A twig snapping behind us draws their attention and when they're far enough away I get up from my spot.

Gunshots ringing out in the night air draws my legs to move faster. As I approach our camp, I see puddles of blood. I hold up my gun as a single gunshot fills my ears. I slowly approach a clearing in our camp to see Private Jacobs, Jessica, and Sergeant Collins kneeling in front of several more Russian soldiers. "Puny Americans," one Russian says with his thick accent. "Tell us what the Ukrainians are planning, and we'll think about letting you all go," his accent gets thicker, the harder he tries speaking English.

None of them say anything and the Russian holds the gun up to Jacobs' head. As he holds the gun up, Private Jacobs' face changes to EJ's. Suddenly I realize I'm strapped to a chair in the clearing, watching the Russian soldier pointing the gun towards my little brother's head. "If you want your family to live, you should tell us what the Ukranians are planning," with his words, I try speaking but realize my mouth is covered.

Before I can say anything, a bullet goes through EJ's head and tears fill my eyes. I violently shake my head when I realize Kimberly has replaced Corporal Adams and Jonathan has replaced Sergeant Collins. Another body is being brought out, with no struggle as they're placed in front of me. The Russians waste no time putting bullets in Kimberly and Jonathan's heads and uncovering the new body they laid in front of me.

The sack is removed to reveal Sofia's lifeless body. "You can't protect them nor can you save them," his final words play over and over as a gunshot rings through my ears.

~End of Nightmare~

I jolt awake, breathing heavy. Sweat covers my face and I glance over to see a worried Sofia watching my every move. "Are you okay?" She rubs my back and I shake my head. "Everyone was killed in front of my eyes and I couldn't stop it," I rub my face. Sofia scoots closer to me and wraps her arms around me. I melt into her and she kisses my bare shoulder. "We're all here and you're okay," she speaks softly and I nod.

"Thank you," I say and she shakes her head. "You don't have to thank me. I told you I'm here through it all, and these nightmares are part of it," I turn and she smiles at me. I kiss her lips and rest our foreheads together.

"Let's see if Jonathan and your sister are awake," Sof kisses my lips and gets up from the bed. I watch her walk across the room and can't believe I have someone so beautiful in my bedroom right now. A pair of pants hit my face and pulls me back to reality. "What are you thinking about?" Sofia asks and I grab my pants to put them on. "Just admiring how beautiful you are," I smile and she rolls her eyes at my corniness.

"These cheesy lines usually work?" She walks over to my spot on the bed and stands between my legs. "I've never tried them before. Are they working?" I place my hands on her hips and she smiles down at me. "A little bit," she wraps her arms around my neck and leans down to meet my lips.

I rest my head against her stomach. "You okay?" She rubs my scalp with her fingernails, releasing a hum from my lips. "I'm worried about how EJ is going to react. He never takes me getting deployed well and now with Kimberly expecting and John getting deployed at the same time," I pause and let out a loud sigh. "The kid doesn't catch a break," I finish.

Sofia takes my face in her hands and forces me to look at her. "Listen, EJ will understand. He's a tough kid and has a bunch of people here for him," she smiles and I return it. I put my hands over hers and rub my thumb against her soft skin. "Yeah, I just worry about him," I say, worry lacing my voice.

Sofia kisses my forehead and looks down at me. "We'll talk to Kimberly and Emily about your worries, and the three of us will keep an eye on him," at her words I raise my eyebrows. "You'll be there for EJ?" I ask and she hums. "Of course," she smiles and I'm a bit in disbelief. Sofia and I aren't official nor have we really been talking that long. Why would she be so invested in my family and making sure they have support during my next deployment?

~~

We pull into a parking spot and I take a deep breath. Kimberly and I talked through how we'd tell EJ about me getting sent out in January, and our plan going into 2023 with her being pregnant too. As terrified as I am to be sent to a country on the brink of war, I'm even more terrified to be leaving my pregnant sister alone. Jonathan still hasn't told her he's leaving at the same time as me.

"The other team looks huge," John voices as we walk through the field's entrance. "Yeah, what are they feeding them?" I joke, trying to lighten the mood. "Whatever it is, can we feed it to our team? They all look like toddlers compared to them," John adds and we both laugh a bit.

The girls join us near the fence next to the field and look at the opposing team. "Jesus, our boys are gonna get murdered," Kimberly says, and John and I nod agreeing with her. We head towards the bleachers and see Emily waving us to her spot.

We climb the few steps to her spot and she exchanges hugs with each of us. "Paulina, Sofia, it's so nice to see the both of you," Emily says after hugging them. "Happy to see you too," Paulina moves to sit in between Kimberly and Emily. I let Sofia sit down before maneuvering around to hug Emily. "Can we go talk?" Emily says near my ear as I pull her into my arms. We pull back and I nod my head. I move towards Sofia and quickly sit down. "Emily and I are going to talk real quick. I'm gonna tell her," I inform her and she nods. She kisses my cheek before I follow Emily out of the bleachers.

We make our way underneath the bleachers like two high school lovers sneaking away for a quick make-out session. "What's up?" I ask and I see Emily's shoulders raise, taking in a deep breath. My best friend remains silent and I'm growing worried. "Em, what's wrong?" I touch her shoulder and immediately pull her into my body.

I hear the muffled cries touching my ears and rub Emily's back. "Kimberly told you, didn't she?" I ask and feel her nod her head against my chest. "You can't leave. We just got you back," she looks up at me and it breaks my heart to see her tearstained face. "I can't disobey orders. It'll go by fast, okay?" I kiss her forehead and hold Emily so close to my body, it's almost like our bodies become one.

We stand here for a few more minutes until the buzzing of the scoreboard reminds us that we have a football game to watch. "EJ is going to be devastated," Emily wipes her eyes and I shove my hands in my pockets. "As hard as it will be, he'll be okay. It's not his first unexpected deployment. I'll make it up to him," I shrug and Emily glares at me. "You can't always buy him something to make him forgive you," she has a bite to her tone as she crosses her arms over her chest.

I shake my head and step closer towards Emily. "I'm going to ask for either a promotion that keeps me home more or I'm going to retire," I state and I watch the disbelief fall on my best friend's face. "EJ wouldn't want you to do that. He knows how important being in the military is to you," Emily steps closer and places her hands on my shoulders. "I know, but he needs a parent around and I may only be his brother but I have to step up," I keep my tone calm. She nods in understanding. "Let's get back before kickoff," Emily grabs my arm and smiles up at me. "Thank you," I return the smile and follow her back to the bleachers.

~~

As the final seconds tick off the clock, Oceanside adds another loss to their record. Losing 31-13 to a league opponent isn't great. "Folks that concludes tonight's game. Your Oceanside pirates lose 13-31 to the grizzlies of Mission Hills. Please join us next Friday as we face off against the La Costa Canyon Mavericks at 7pm. Drive safe and have a good weekend!" The announcer finishes and I watch my little brother stalk his way over to us.

"Hey buddy," I fist bump his gloved hand and see the defeat in his eyes. "You played hard out there. Nothing you can do when a lot of your lineman are out injured," John tries reassuring him and EJ just shrugs. "I guess," he mumbles and accepts the quick hug from Kimberly.

"I definitely enjoyed watching you play and not getting injured," Sofia pipes up next to me and I see a slight smile on EJ's lips. "You both came?" He asks Sofia and Paulina, and they both just shrug. "We wanted to catch one more game before we have to go back to LA on Sunday," Paulina says, hugging his side. "Well thank you both. I'm going to grab a quick shower and meet you at the car?" EJ looks at me and I nod my head. "We'll see you over there," he walks away and I look at my growing family.

Paulina links arms with Emily and Kimberly, and they walk towards our cars. "You ready?" I look at the man I've practically called my brother my whole life. "As ready as I'll ever be. We'll tell EJ together. I have to tell Kim before she cuts my balls off," he pats my shoulder and I chuckle. "I will gladly help her too," I sling my arm over Sofia's shoulders and we follow the other three.

~~

The drive home is eerily silent. EJ fell asleep right as the engine started. Sofia's fingers rubbing my rough, calloused palm keeps my attention on the road instead of drifting off to the unknown. All the what ifs coming our way wants to burst through the floodgates of my brain, but I need to keep it together.

We pull in behind Jonathan's truck and I put the car in park. As I shut off the car, EJ's head slowly rises from his hunched state. "We're home," I turn and look at my little brother. "Did they stop for pizza?" EJ asks, nodding towards the truck. "Yep, that's why Paulina rode with them," I state and hear a chuckle come from the backseat.

We get out of the car, following behind EJ as he adjusts his duffle bag on his shoulder. I wrap my arm over Sofia's shoulders as we walk up the driveway to the front door. Once I enter the house, the weight of what I have to tell EJ suddenly hits me.

I pause outside the kitchen and watch my family, which has now grown in such a short matter of time. What used to just be me, my siblings, Jonathan, and Emily, has now become us, Sofia, Paulina, and my unborn niece or nephew. As I think of the people my line of work emotionally affects now, the more it reminds me that I can't do this forever.

"You okay?" Sofia comes up to me and hands me a plate with two slices of pizza. I give her a smile in thanks and nod. She rubs her hand on my back and leans her body against mine as I take a bite of my pizza. I mindlessly chew, stuck in my thoughts. Sofia kissing under my jaw pulls me back to the room.

I lock eyes with Jonathan and he gives me a small nod confirming that it's time for the inevitable. I sit my plate down and wipe my hands on a paper towel. I kiss the side of Sofia's head and push off the counter. I clear my throat and face the dining room table.

All eyes are on me as I try mustering up the right words to not make EJ hate me. "I met with my CO earlier today," I pause and feel a presence join my side. I glance over and see Jonathan standing next to me. "We're getting sent out in January. Russia is planning something big against Ukraine, and they need support," Jonathan speaks up and my eyes go wide. I wasn't expecting him to blatantly say he's being sent out too. I look over and see Kimberly's face drop.

"What?" Kim works up, and I can see her fighting back the tears. "You both are getting deployed?" Emily speaks up and my eyes look to the floor. I slowly nod my head. "But we just got you two back!" EJ's voice booms and exerts so much hurt.

"You know we don't get much say on when we get sent out or when the world catches on fire," I muster up the words, but quickly regret what I say. The loud scraping of a chair against the floor pulls my head. EJ crosses the floor and stands inches from my face. "You always leave and this time," he takes a shaky breath, "I hope you don't come back." EJ pushes past me, heading straight for the front door.

My feet are glued to the floor and my heart feels like it's been stabbed multiple times. "I'll go after him. He shouldn't be alone," Kimberly gets out of her chair and stops in front of me and Jonathan. "That boy has been through hell this year. Although we love you both and all you've done in your military careers, at some point you need to realize that the people here," she gestures to herself and the other three women at the kitchen table, "might not be here the next time you come home from deployment."

I watch my little sister walk away and feel the rest of my heart break. She's not just watching a sibling get sent into war, but she's watching the father of her unborn child leave too. I started debating whether I should retire earlier than usual to make sure I'm always here to take care of my family and have a family of my own, but I don't have many skills that can transfer over into civilian life.

"They'll come back around, just give them time. We just never know when you might not come home," Emily hugs us both and follows the same path Kimberly and EJ went. I look over at Sofia and give her a tight lipped smile. "She's right," Jonathan voices. "We might not come back from this, so we need to make these next two months worth their while," he pats my back and leaves the kitchen. I watch my best friend head towards Kimberly's bedroom.

"What do you need from me?" I feel Sofia's arm wrap around my waist and I rest my head against hers. "Can you help me and John with making Thanksgiving and Christmas ones to remember? I've gotta make them the best they've ever been for EJ," I sigh and feel Sofia kiss my neck. "Of course, Pau and I will figure out our plans for the holidays and figure out what we can do to help," she wraps her other arm around my front and just holds me. Sofia's literally holding me together and without her, I don't know how I'd be able to make it through these next two months.