Dearest ex-friends

You crushed my soul. You were all I had left. Don't get me wrong, people at school still said hi to me, but I wasn't close to anyone. I was scared to get close. My other ex friends laughed every time I walked through the halls. Their snickers followed me everywhere. They were talking about how I was so terrible that my boyfriend had to bed a nerd. I wanted them to just shut up. I wanted it all to stop.

That's what I got for being too nice. To you, to them. Because money can't buy friendship. Money wouldn't heal my fractured heart, my broken soul.

You both tried to apologize. For me being upset, nor what you did. Ian, you finally said it wasn't working out and you wanted to be friends. You said I should have seen the signs. I was suffocating you. You felt you couldn't say no to me.

Zoe. You wanted me to be happy for you. Even though my heart was cracked in two and I hated being alive as my parents fought through a nasty divorce and I had to deactivate all my social media because people bullied me so relentlessly. I didn't even know you guys had helped spread the rumors.

I forgave you two. Or, I tried to. I actually sat next to you guys as you made out at lunch. I tried to be your friends because you have to forgive, right? You made a mistake and I wasn't good at relationships and I just needed a fresh start.

I just wanted to be happy. Was that so much to ask? Everyone hated me but I kept smiling because that's all I knew how to do. Because I had no reason to be sad because I was rich Laila and I was pretty and at least some people liked me, said Zoe. Remember, I was bullied worse than you, said Zoe.

It's not a contest, Zoe. We can all be sad, because we will all be sad at one point and that's okay.

And when you guys recorded a drunk video trashing me on Facebook that reached so many views, and my own sister commented agreeing because I was such a spoiled brat and I couldn't even be happy with that, I lost all hope I had in humanity and myself. My own parents even hated me. I had no one.

So I got a razor and I slashed my leg, right above my thigh because maybe I deserved to bleed. I wanted to feel something other than sorrow.

But you never knew this. Because you both stopped talking to me the next day.

Go to Hell
-Laila