Letting Anju go wasn't the hardest part, the hardest part was living without her, feeling that void in my life that no one could ever feel.

I mean she was so young, just a teenager, she could have done a lot in life, lived the way she wanted to but no, God dint want to give her that chance and I was so pissed.

Why couldn't be there a rule like no one would die young? It was always worse to lose someone so young when you know they'd have such a good life if they were alive.

I wish God could just have a rulebook that stated someone would die only after the age of a hundred or so, but well if the world worked according to my thoughts I wonder where we would be.

The house felt empty without her, my father only came for her funeral and after that it was like he completely disappeared, before at least he used to come home late at nights, and now since Anju was gone, he had stopped coming.

That somehow made me think that maybe even though we thought he never cared maybe he did, he came back home every day just to be sure his daughter was okay. Well that wouldn't still change the fact that he was a horrible father.

All I ever did since she left was, go to college, come back home and sit alone wondering what to do, I really missed her, I missed our arguments and conversations, I missed how she would always ask me to get new romance novels for her to read, I missed how Kabir used to come here daily, since she left he hadn't visited even once.

I knew he just needed time to heal and in the meantime he was avoiding anything that could remind him of losing her, why would he then visit the place where we lost her right?

"Arnav." Khushi shook me. I looked at her in confusion then realized I had forgotten that she was here with me.

In the past month, if Khushi hadn't been with me after we lost Anju, I guess I would have become a depressed man and started drinking like my father to avoid the pain, but Khushi stuck by me, she made sure to visit me every now and then and she even did a lot of things just trying to make me feel better.

I was so glad that she was here, because without her I really dint know how I could have survived this.

"I'm sorry I just got lost." I apologized.

"Arnav, it's been a month and all I have done is tried to be patient with you. Look I know how much you loved Anju, but you're forgetting that she loved you too. And if she was here today to see you like this, can you imagine how hurt she would feel?" Khushi asked.

"What do you expect me to do Khushi, be happy that my sister died?" I looked at her angrily.

"No. But being depressed all time isn't the answer Arnav. Everyone dies every day, if we all kept mourning for them continuously then the whole world would be depressed.

Anju accepted what life gave her and left happy, so why can't you let her go happily. You have had your time to mourn her loss, and I get it, it's difficult to lose the people we love, but that's life, we have to move on.

I'm not telling you not to remember her, but you can even remember the good memories with her, all the times you both were happy, and all, I'm sure that's what she'd want for you."

"It's not like I'm not trying Khushi, it's just hard."

"Hard but not impossible." She cupped my face and looked me into the eyes.

"Arnav I am really sorry that you lost her, I miss her too, Anju and I had become good friends and I really do miss her and so does Kabir, they might be teenagers but what they felt for each other was real.

So you aren't the only one that lost her okay? We all did and we all are trying to come to term with the facts, but we can't, not until you also do.

"So how can I do that?" I asked. I would do anything not to feel this pain.

"Get out of your routine. Since she left all you've ever done is go study then come back home and sit alone and think about her. It's not going to be easy to move on if all you do is question why she had to leave. Whatever that was to happen has happened, so just accept it.

Go out, do things, go watch a movie with Nina, let's go on a date or go do something boyish with Kabir, just get out there and refresh your mind." She suggested.

"Okay, if that helps." I nodded.

"Great, now come one call Nina and make plans already."

"Right now?"

"So when do you think is the right time to start Arnav? It's now or never."

"Okay fine, stop being so bossy." I pouted as I stood up trying to find my phone, I don't even remember where I had put it.

"That's me, the mean bossy popular girl." She laughed making me laugh too.

After Anju, maybe this was the first time I had even smiled. Who knew how painful it was to lose someone so close to us.

KHUSHI

Once Arnav and Nina had made plans, I headed back home, the whole of last month had been very hectic. I wasn't the kind of a person to console anyone on a loss or something so I never really knew how to do it.

For me it was worse because I had to do it for both Arnav and Kabir, of course they both were closer to Anju than I was, that dint mean that I wasn't sad we lost her. It did hurt, but not as much as it was hurting the both of them.

The whole of past month I had been trying really hard to make Kabir and Arnav feel better and it sort of had me tired too, because I dint know how to do it, I tried my best and now I hoped it was going to work.

I was there for the both of them but I also needed someone to be there for me, trust me when I say this, it's not easy. It looks easy but it's not.

It surely is painful to lose a loved one, but healing someone from that loss is so difficult and I'd had the experience.

I wasn't complaining, but I was just feeling hurt that I was trying so hard to make them feel better and nothing seemed to be working.

I walked in and sat down on the sofa hoping Arnav was going to feel better after today, I mean even if he felt a bit better, I'd feel like I had accomplished a huge mission.

"Hey there." A voice disturbed my thoughts, I looked straight at the entrance and saw Sid walking in.

"Hey." I replied. At the moment I had a lot going on in my mind that I dint even bother to ask him why he was here all over a sudden or anything, I just sat in my place silently bot bothering to say anything.

"Are you okay Khushi?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"You don't look like." He said as he moved closer to me and held my hand, I don't know why but that made me cry. Why was I crying in front of Sid?

"Hey, what happened?" He looked at me worriedly.

"I don't know Sid, I just don't feel okay. The past month has been really hard and I just don't know what to do and how to handle things. You know me, I'm just a free kind of a person, I live in my own world and don't care about other people or anything.

But for the past one month that's all I've been doing, caring for the people that I love and I don't seem to know how to do it because nothing I do seems to help.

Sometimes I feel so useless, I wonder what's the point of me being in their lives if I can't even make them feel better.

I know this sounds selfish, I mean Arnav and Kabir lost someone they love and I should care and think about them instead of thinking about me, but it's just so frustrating.

Despite all my efforts, I can't seem to be helping either of them and I am so tired and hurt. I don't even know who to talk to about this, I have no one but Arnav to talk to, and right now I can't even talk to him, I'll just hurt him more.

"I am here for you Khushi, you can always talk to me." Sid said.

"But you're my ex-boyfriend and I cheated on you. Why would you want to be there for me?"

"Because I still love you. I know you have a boyfriend and it's totally okay, I'm just trying to be here for you as a friend okay." He smiled at me, I nodded positively as he pulled me into a tight hug.

Maybe all this while, all I needed was a hug. And maybe I'd have never let Sid even touch me let alone hug me, but I really did need someone and he was the only one that was there for me.