Part 14
Since I walked into class and settled down in my usual place, Nina had been staring at me continuously, I pulled out a book, finished reading five pages of it and she was still staring.
"You know what?" She finally spoke up.
"What Nina?" I sighed as I closed the book and looked at her seriously.
"I don't think you like Khushi." She said looking dead serious, well I dint think I liked her anymore either.
"Great I think so too, the way she's been clearly treating me I wonder why I ever liked her." I rolled my eyes at her.
"You're an idiot, that's no what I meant, I was just trying to tell you that what you feel towards her it isn't just like, it's stronger, you wouldn't be acting this way if you only liked her." She said.
"And how am I acting?"
"Like a guy that's lost the only girl he ever loved." She giggled.
"I don't know about Love Nina, but I can definitely say I lost the only girl I ever thought I could love, because you know she said that even if I was the last guy on earth she'd consider staying single than be with me.
Why is she so mean? I mean I get it, I am a nerd, I am not as handsome as the other guy she dates but it doesn't mean I don't deserve to be loved." The words she said to me last night had been constantly repeating themselves in my mind and I dint know what to do about it.
"I know what we can do to make her like you. You need a makeover, get rid of this glasses, maybe shave off this beard, gel your hair and comb it backwards, you'll look so good." Nina looked at me excitedly as I looked back at her in disbelief.
I ignored her and looked at the board, why wasn't the lecturer coming? I was done thinking about Khushi, I needed some distraction.
"Why are you acting like you dint hear what I just said?" Nina nudged me.
"Because it's stupid and ridiculous and never going to happen." I said.
"But why now? Don't you want Khushi to notice you?" She pouted.
"Exactly Nina, I want her to notice me, not an improved better looking version of me, whatever you're saying works in movies and looks kind of good but it's actually stupid.
I am not going to change the way I look for her to notice me Nina, that's stupid, she better never notices me than me doing all this crazy stuff for her to notice me." I looked back at the board.
"Who are you?" She asked.
"What?" I looked at her again, why was she acting like a confused element today?
"I haven't been here longer Arnav but for the time I've been here, I've seen guys running behind her, doing crazy things to be with her and I'm giving you such a great idea but you're not taking it, why?" She asked.
"Look Nina, I don't mind doing things for her, like getting her chocolates or surprising her or taking her for a date or something, if it makes her happy I'd do it repeatedly but changing myself so she can notice me isn't something I want to do.
This is who I am, if she has to like me then she will like me this way otherwise I am okay with my one sided feelings." I explained, Nina just nodded silently and then finally stopped asking me questions.
It looked like the lecturer wasn't going to come and before Nina could start asking me more questions, I decided to pick my stuff and head to the library, I could at least use this time to read.
I turned around to pick my bag and to my surprise, Khushi was seated on the bench right behind mine.
When did she even come in? Or was she here before? How come I dint notice her? Anyway it dint even look like she cared because she was busy staring at her phone, so I grabbed my bag and headed out of the class.
Was she ever going to like me despite the hatred she had towards me? I guess I should stop dreaming of a miracle, they dint happen in real life.
How many times had I literally tried to convince myself like this yet ended up thinking about her?
*****
I dint see Khushi for the rest of the day until I walked in the parking lot after my classes were over, I found her standing there while leaning against my car.
"You want lift?" I asked, although it was stupid of me to ask, I mean after all that she said to me, I'm sure I was the last person she'd come to for anything but then like I said, no matter what I always ended up caring about her.
To my surprise she nodded positively so I dint say anything, I just unlocked my car as she got inside while I headed to the driver's seat, switched on the engine and drove off.
"I heard your conversation with Nina by the way, now before you start telling me shit again, I dint intend to, I happened to have sat there and I guess neither of you noticed, so I dint do it on purpose." She explained.
"I dint ask for an explanation Khushi." I said, she looked at me silently for a while and I tried hard not to look back at her, it was kind of awkward.
"Why did you give me lift despite everything terrible I told you?" She asked.
"So did you want me to leave you here alone asking someone else for lift?" I shrugged.
"Yes, that's what anyone would do."
"Why are you asking me this questions Khushi?" I looked at her in confusion, her behavior was weird, at times she was friends with me, at times she spread stupid rumors about me and got angry when I told her off and after that she was driving in my car with me asking me this questions, what was she trying to do?
"Because your behavior is confusing." She rolled her eyes with attitude. This girl and her attitude.
"Your behavior is confusing too, last night you said something else to me and today you're driving in the same car with me, I thought you dint want to see my face."
"I thought the same about you, dint you say you regretted whatever that it was that you felt for me and then you were telling Nina that..."
"Yeah that happens a lot with me, I say something and do the opposite." I said, thankfully there wasn't much traffic today so we arrived at her place quickly, I parked the car outside and waited for her to get out but she was just seated there silently.
"Khushi, are you okay?" I asked.
"Why do you like me Arnav? You were right when you said I am mean, heartless and all that, that's who I am and despite it all you like me, why?" She asked as she looked at me seriously, wow it was kind of scary and I dint even know what to answer.
"If I had an answer to that I would definitely tell you." I sighed.
She looked everywhere and kept on shifting on the seat uncomfortably, she ran her hand through her hair so many times while I just stared at her silently.
"You know before you, my life was so smooth and sorted, date random guys for a few weeks maximum months and then get rid of it, and then that day I asked you to do my homework and since then you're like stuck in my life.
I can't just ignore you like I always did, since whenever I know you, and it's because I am curious as to why you are like this and then suddenly you tell me you like me. I just can't get it Arnav?"
"Is it that bad that I like you that you're feeling this way about it Khushi?" I asked.
"Yes, because you shouldn't. I am not worthy enough to be liked, it doesn't happen in my life, and now that you told me you did and I heard your conversation with Nina too, all I'm asking myself is why?
Why would you like someone like me Arnav? I clearly don't deserve it, I haven't done anything worth you to like me, if you wanted what other guys wanted it could actually be understandable but why the hell on earth would you like me? it doesn't make sense at all."
"So you think you're not worthy enough for someone to like you?"
"Yes, and you shouldn't like me too because I cant like you back Arnav, and I felt bad for what I said to you and I felt bad after hearing your conversation, what you feel is beautiful and I am everything but beautiful.
I don't really know why you feel it but please stop feeling it because it's frustrating me, I don't want you to feel that way about me Arnav, just stop it and let me be at peace like I was before I made the mistake of talking to you." She said as she stepped out of the car in a hurry and rushed away.
What the hell just happened?
I was left with my eyes wide open like I was watching some thriller movie and I had no freaking clue on what was going on.
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