All good things must come to an end. The past few weeks had been amazing. It was just the calm before a storm. I knew they had been too quiet.

I woke up early as usual making breakfast for my Angels. I then went upstairs to get dressed before waking everyone up.I picked out simple skinny ripped jeans and a white hoody paired with my white vans and a black beanie because why not.

Looking at myself in the mirror I liked how I looked.
You look ugly.How can you even stand to look at an atrocity like your self.

They were back and I can't say I had missed them. I choose to ignore them not allowing them to mess with my day.

After dropping the girls off at school I rushed to mine. I can't wait to see Xena. She is waiting for me just outside the school as usual with two cups of coffee.

She looks so good with her blue ripped jeans,white cropped shirt an her hair up on a ponytail exposing her  long beautiful neck. I couldn't look away.

You should be disgusted with yourself. What would she think knowing that you are looking at her like that. Do you still think that she would want to be anywhere near you. You are just an ugly miserable poor girl. You are a waste to space. Nobody cares or even loves you they just pity you.

I needed to go.The voices were getting too loud for me to handle. I sprinted to the bathroom farthest from the classes leaving Xena there dumbfounded.

Luckily I was the only one in the bathroom.

"Please stop I beg you."

Nope you know what we want you to do.

"I can't please don't make me. I promised Ade that I wouldn't do it again."

But she is not here,she won't even find out. Just do it it will be our dirty little secret.

"Okay"

With trembling hands I reached into by bag and pulled out the razors pulled down my jeans and cut into my skin. I felt the relief wash over me since they were now silent. I bandaged the wounds and pulled up my jeans ready to get back to class.

For the rest of the day I avoided Xena like the plaque. She must think I'm crazy. I just didn't feel like talking to anyone.

At the end of the day I just headed straight home and texted Ade to pick up the girls. I locked myself in my room.

Maybe the voices were right. Everything they said was true anyway. Would it be better if I just left. Maybe that's why everything that has happened to me is my fault.

I fell asleep with these thoughts running through my head. The memories from my past still haunted me to this day. I knew that i couldn't give up on Ade and my babies. I also did not want to drag Xena into this mess that is my life.