/ comment what you think is wrong with her, I wanna see your ideas aha /

Agent B's point of view

I punched the wall of the house in frustration, the rough surface causing an ache to take over my wrist and hand. I took deep, heavy breaths, and I could feel my knuckles bleeding lightly as a cool, refreshing almost, breeze of wind hit my

I clenched my jaw and then squeezed my eyes shut. I kicked the wall, scuffing the tip of my boots, possible scratching them. A dull ache was starting to form, but I tried not to acknowledge it.

What's wrong with me?

My head ached in a way it hadn't in so long, in about three years. The extreme pounding was accompanied by loss of control of my body and a ringing in my ears. Let's not even get started on how I just shut down in the middle of the day inside of the house, only to wake up outside with all of the guys dead asleep and the moon high in the dark sky.

Tears threatened to escape my eyes because of how much my head hurt and I threaded my fingers through my hair, resisting the urge to throw myself at the nearest object and rip my hair out. It was all too tempting, but it wouldn't solve anything. I'd just hurt myself even more.

I turned around and slid my back against the rough wall, pulling my knees up to my chest and burying my head between them. I scratched at my scalp lightly and then let out a muffled cry as I was suddenly unable to use my arms and legs.

I didn't understand. What the hell is going on?

I struggled to take control of my arms, and when I did, I immediately began to bang on my calves. I could feel it, but I couldn't move my legs at all. Not the smallest twitch, the smallest flinch. They were motionless.

After five minutes, when I could finally move my legs, I was already a mess of tears. I was afraid because I didn't know what the fuck was going on with me and not only will this affect my job, but my entire lifestyle.

I got up, grabbing the wall carefully to help keep my balance. I limped to the sliding door since my legs were asleep, and then opened it, bumping into someone.

Due to my emotionally stressed state, my reflexes were slow so I just flinched and backed away. "Agent? Is that you?" I heard Ashton ask and I covered my mouth as a cry threatened to escape my lips.

I don't cry, I really don't, but I was scared and my head was literally killing me.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I turned away when he turned the light on. I covered my face with my bleeding knuckles and walked away while I could still use my legs. "Oh my god, your hands, what happened?"

"I-I-I um-uh-"

"Come here." He said and grabbed my hand, making me flinch. I was in such a weak state, that I didn't have the smallest ounce of fight in me at the moment. I felt like a little girl, a scared little girl.

Ashton set me down at the table and then went to get the first aid kit. I looked at my knucles, puffed pink and red with blood smeared on them and white scratches along the outer areas. My fingers were shaking like leaves in the middle of autumn, and I couldn't stop them.

Ashton came back and sat directly in front of me, opening the first aid kit. "I wake up to the sound of someone banging on the house and it's like, three in the morning." He said and I was too caught up in my thoughts to apologize.

This was terrifying. I've been through a lot, but this didn't come close. I couldn't control my own body, I couldn't stop the constant, constant, pounding in my head. I couldn't fight whatever the hell was causing my body to just shut down.

Worst of all, I didn't know what the hell was going on. I didn't know what was causing me so much distress, and why it was do all of a sudden. I couldn't fix it.

I gulped back a hiss of pain as he dabbed disinfectant on my hand and I felt embarrassed that the only way my hand would stop shaking, was for him to set his own arm on top of it. I watched him, and although he was speaking, I couldn't hear a word because the ringing in my head wouldn't go away.

"What happened out there?" He said after snapping his fingers in front of my eyes a few times. I looked at my hands, seeing white bandages wrapped around them and I looked at him.

"I... I don't know," I stuttered out, my voice cracking and barely audible. "I don't know." I repeated when he gave me a confused look, as if I was crazy.

"You don't know why your knuckles are bloody and why I woke up to banging?" He asked and I nodded.

"I-I punched the wall... r-repeatedly," I said and looked at my fists. "And... And I can't-"

I scratched at my scalp after threading my fingers through my hair and then I tugged on it, a louder ringing in my head, an even bigger pain. I didn't know I was screaming. I didn't know I was crying. I didn't know what I was doing.

I couldn't control my body, none of its functions were my doing. As Ashton was panicking and flailing his arms around, I was having the hardest fight I've had all my life, and it was against myself and I didn't even know what was going on anymore.

I'm the midst of it, I could feel myself teetering on the edge of blacking out once again. I tried to fight it, I did, but I couldn't.

-

"Agent B, wake up!" Someone said and I squeezed my eyes shut. I held my head in pain and then let out a small groan. "Agent, are you okay?"

I tried to speak, but I couldn't. I furrowed my eyebrows together and sat up. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and then looked at them. The whole band, plus Rachael, stood there.

"Hello, are you going to tell us what's wrong so we can stop worrying?" Luke asked irritatedly and I held my throat.

I couldn't-

"No one asked you to worry about me." I spoke, but that's not what I was trying to say. I widened my eyes in panic and I gulped.

I didn't want to say that. Why am I saying that? This isn't what I want to say.

"You passed out last night when I was bandaging your knuckles. You were screaming and crying and everything. I was scared because I didn't know what to do." Ashton told me and again, I spoke something I didn't even think of saying.

"It's none of your concern."

"None of our concern? Your supposed to be saving our lives and if you're breaking down in the middle of the night, we're gonna get worried! We need to know if we're safe or not." Michael said exasperated and I clenched my fists.

"I'm the best Agent around, of course you're safe." I said, not only making me sound cocky, but making me want to throw myself off of a building because I don't want to say these things.

"Yeah, okay, but we don't feel safe knowing our agent is breaking down and yanking her own hair out." Ashton said smartly.

"I-I-" I squeezed my eyes shut to tried to say what I wanted to, fighting for control of my own body and my own voice. "I didn't mean to say that." I said and looked at them.

"Didn't mean to say what?" Luke asked me and I nearly yanked my hair out again. Why is it so hard to do the simplest tasks. What's going on with me?

"All of that. I didn't mean to say all of that. It's not me saying it." I babbled, probably a bunch of nonsense to them all. "I don't know what's going on." I said finally and then squeezed my eyes shut.

My knuckles ached as I tightened my grip on the blanket and I took a deep breath. "Agent?" Calum asked softly as he set a hand on my shoulder.

"Leave me alone." My shoulder ripped itself from his touch, something I didn't want to do, and he seemed a bit hurt. "I don't need comforting."

"I just want to help." He said and I looked away from him. "Guys, can you maybe like, get out?"

"Yeah sure." Luke said sourly and then the door was slamming shut. I flinched at the loud noise and Calum sat down beside me.

"What's going on? You haven't talked to us like that since you first got here." He said and I shook my head.

"I don't know." I said pathetically and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. "I don't know what's going on!" I told him, allowing him to hug me.

"Talk to me, don't shut me out." He said and I was silent a bit, on my own accord. "I really care, I promise that I do. I want to help."

"I don't know Calum," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "I don't know what's going on. I... I'm... I'm scared." I told him truthfully and squeezed my eyes shut.

"What's happening?" He asked me and I shook my head.

"I can't... I can't control my body sometimes now... what-what I do, what I say. It's like... It's like someone is controlling me. I don't know what's happening anymore." I said, my heart racing as I confesssed. "I'm scared." I told him truthfully, feeling childish and immature.

I haven't felt this afraid in so long. I never allowed myself to be. It almost pained me to be so afraid and to actually confess to the vulnerable feeling.

He seemed lost at words, unsure of what to say, what to do. I sniffled and before I knew it, I was scooting away from him abruptly and he was on the floor.

"You didn't hear a word in said." I spoke, not meaning too. My eyes widened and I held my throat, tears filling my eyes. "I'm not weak. I'm not scared."

"Are you..." He looked at me confused and I closed my eyes. "Agent B?"

"I don't need your help." I told him, but I knew the pleading look I was giving him proved otherwise.

I fought to speak, pushing whatever it was that was trying to control me, away. I'm sure Calum was confused aswell, but I couldn't care any less as I basically fought in another battle between me and myself.

"Help." I begged, and I can't remember the last time I asked for someone to help me, let alone begged them too.

I didn't know how he could help me, I don't think he even knew. It wasn't like pulling a knife out of your thigh or sticking a needle in your vein. It was different. This was internal, no one could really help me control myself.

Without my consent, my arms were ripping the door open and my legs were taking me downstairs. My footsteps were loud, much louder than they should be, and I felt like a puppet. Like someone was controlling everything, from my walk, to my talk, to when I fall asleep.

"Agent?" Rachael asked and I looked at her. "Have you been crying?"

"I don't cry." I spoke against my will. I felt trapped inside my own body, and I couldn't control anything but the blink of my eyes and the breaths I took.

I was honestly terrified.