/ small little trigger warning, the ending of the chapter talks about suicide and suicidal thoughts, read that with caution please /

Agent B's point of view

"Okay so she was standing on the building right? Just taken a guy out and the other two were on the verge of falling off the damn building." Ashton tells Luke and I kept my eyes closed, my head hurting.

"She runs from the middle of the roof to the edge and grabs on to the bottom of the helicopter. She pulls herself up, already hundreds and hundreds of feet in the air, and gets on as if she didn't just jump off a fucking building." He finishes and I felt someone nudge me.

"She did! You should have been there to see it! It was so cool, like some kind of movie." Calum said and I dozed off a bit. "Agent B? Are you okay?"

"Maybe she's still tired." Michael said and I hummed. "It's okay, just take a nap. We all had a rough day yesterday."

"Especially you," Calum added and I looked at him. "We'll be okay. If not, we'll wake you up, promise." He told me and I nodded.

"Okay." I said and yawned, closing my eyes again and getting comfortable on the couch. I felt someone drape a blanket over me and I heard the boys lower their voices.

"You actually pulled a gun out on her?! Are you crazy Ash?"

"After all this? Wouldn't doubt it."

-

"Agent," a girl said and I looked at the red head. "How are you?" Savanna asked and I shrugged.

"Fair." I answered and looked at her, noticing we were at the same place and she wore the same exact thing.

"I see Ashton is okay, along with the others." She answered and I nodded, putting my hands in my pockets. "Thank you. It means a lot you'd go out and actually look for him."

"I'm mad you said we were both extras, but I'm in debt for you saving his life." William spoke, suddenly appearing. "Thank you."

I shrugged and Savanna motioned me to go to her. I did as she said and she looked at me. "You need to promise me you'll be patient with these boys. They're dipshits but they can't die."

"Yeah yeah," I said and ran a hand through my hair. "I won't let them die. It's all talk." I told her and she nodded.

"I wanted to inform you that your schedule is clear for a bit. Kennedy might swing by, that's all."

"I hate her guts." Me and Savanna said and I chuckled as I shook my head.

"That's my man," Savanna spoke, cracking her knuckles. "She better get her ratchet ass claws off my man or I'll shove my gun up her-"

"You're dead, shut up." William said and I rolled my eyes. "I know she's a bitch but you can't do anything about it."

"Or can I?" Savanna smirked and snapped her fingers, taking us to a bedroom. I furrowed my eyebrows and she grabbed a tube of lipstick.

She wrote on the mirror and I rolled my eyes. "Savanna, stop." William spoke and took the lipstick from her when she continued writing on the mirror.

"No. Luke is mine. This bitch needs to go." Savanna said and took it back, writing some pretty vulgar language on her mirror.

"Fun." I muttered and William grabbed my arm, causing it to burn. "Don't touch me!" I said and ripped my arm from his grasp. "When you do, it leaves burns me!"

"Oh yeah, sorry." He said and I rolled my eyes. "Before you go, I need you to promise us something." He told me.

"I make no promises."

"Promise us that these boys will make it out alive, they'll carry on playing shows and being the band they only dreamed of." William said and I nodded.

"No promises."

-

"Agent B? Are you okay?" Calum asked me and I hummed. "You shook pretty badly in your sleep for a bit." He told me and I nodded.

"I'm fine." I said and he just looked at me. "How about you all just chill in here tonight? So you're all in one area."

"I like that idea." Calum spoke and they all agreed, except Luke. "Come on Luke, it's one night. Just sleep on the couch or the floor or something tonight."

"What happened to your arm?" Michael asked as he looked at the new, hand shaped mark on my skin.

"It'll go away. It's from yesterday." I said and he nodded. "Where's that one girl?"

"Rachael?" I nodded and Ashton shrugged. "I haven't seen or heard from her in forever actually. Last time I saw her was when I stormed out of here."

"I don't trust her." Michael said and it went silent. "I know she's been our best friends for almost a year but really, I don't trust her anymore."

"Why not?" Luke asked. "She'd never hurt us. She saved our life, what happened? You two used to be the closest too."

"I heard her talking on the phone one day about manipulating and I don't know. I'm kind of... weary and hesitant." He told us and I nodded.

"You don't trust anyone when you're in a situation like this." I said and Calum looked at me.

"We trust you."

"You shouldn't." I said and he blinked a few times before nodded. "How about you guys go eat dinner or something?"

"We ate before you woke up." Michael said and I nodded. "Are you okay? You're like... you seem so stressed and so... so lost? I fused even?"

"I'm fine." I said and he blinked a few times before nodding. He didn't believe me. I knew he didn't.

"I'm gonna go use the restroom." Ashton said and then ran upstairs. Calum and Luke followed, saying they needed to change get out of their skinny jeans and grab some pillows.

"I know you're not okay." Micha told me a d sat closer to me. "Why do you lie like that? What's so wrong with just admitting it?"

"Because it dsoesnt matter, it shouldn't matter." I told him and shook my head. "Drop it. I'll be fine-"

"You say that but will you be? Everytime we ask if you're okay, you say you're not and it's scaring me okay?" He said and I shook my head. "I know you're some high and mighty agent but it's not okay to bottle up stuff."

"I'm not bottling anything up okay Michael? I'm fine. Stop asking, stop pressing the subject." I told him and he rubbed his face, clearly irritated with me.

"You're not okay, I know you're not. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong." I said and stood up. "Stop it, I'm fine, thanks for asking seventy times, I'm fucking fine."

"You're a liar." He said and stood up himself. "Why can't you just tell me that oh, maybe you're stressed, maybe you're exhausted, maybe you need to get something off your chest. Why are you so close off?"

"I'm not closed off okay? I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me. You're blind." I said and he laughed.

"I'm blind? I think even the blind can see that you're not okay and that you need some kind of help! I just want to help you!" He told me and I grabbed the knife from the coffee table, pressing the sharp end of the blade right under his adams apple.

"I'm fine." I said and he stepped closer to me. I watched as the blade dug into his skin, almost enough to cut him. He stood his ground, his eyes narrowed at me as he spoke.

"You don't scare me anymore." He said, his hand gripping mine and his voice low. "If this is how you deal with people who just want to help you, I can see why you're alone."

"You don't know why I'm alone, don't act like you do." I said, my throat tightening. "Don't try to act all bad Michael, I know you're afraid right now. You all are."

"I know you're afraid, whether it's for us or yourself. You're just as afraid as we are." He told me and I looked into his green eyes. "Why are you like this?"

"It's not important-"

"I'm no psychic, I can't travel in time, I can't even tell right from left sometimes, but I know that something is tearing you up inside and I just want to help. Since the start, you've pushed us away and even that in itself shows me that you're not okay." He told me, moving the knife from his neck.

A red line appeared on the stubbled skin, bright against how pale he was. I shook my head and threw the knife at the ground, sticking it in the wood.

"Fine, you want answers, I'll give you answers. Nothing but the truth." I said and looked him in the eye. "Ask. Away."

"Why are you so cold, so cut off?"

"Because everyone I let in has died one way or another and it's left me scarred." I said, my voice steady, strong. "I've seen hundreds of people die, from children to elderly, family to complete strangers, and that takes a toll on a person."

"What's wrong?" He asked me. "Before you blew up and pressed a knife against my neck, what happened?"

"I had a dream where your friends, Savanna and William told me to promise them to keep you guys safe." I said and he rose an eyebrow at me. "Savanna wrote on Kennedy's mirror with bright red lipstick and William grabbed me, which caused the hand shaped print on my bicep."

"I don't believe you." He said and I scoffed, turning to looked at the direction of the front door as the bell rang frantically. "Who cold that be?"

"It's Kennedy." I said and he rolled his eyes. Luke went to get the door since me and Michael were having a stare down.

"Kennedy, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." We heard Luke say and I chuckled humorlessly.

"Believe me now?"

"How?" He asked me and I bent down to pick the knife out of the floor. "How is that possible?"

"Anything is possible." I said and looked at him. "Are you don't asking me questions?"

"D-Did you make the promise?" He asked me and I shook my head. "No?" He asked again as he gulped.

"You can't make any promises regarding death." I said and he looked down. "Maybe Savanna made that mistake, she did, didn't she?"

"Don't-"

"She promised she'd make it out of this alive. Promised that no one you loved would be harmed? Promised that it was a happy ending for all?" I pressed, swinging the knife in my hand carelessly.

"Please-"

"Well, she was wrong. Death doesn't listen to promises, it doesn't pick and choose who dies. It's not all planned out on a book. It's unpredictable. It's like Russian roulette, ever play it?" I asked, not caring about how he teared up a bit.

"Agent-"

"You haven't. Well, I watched people play it. I watched them shoot themselves. You put a bullet in the chamber of a revolver, spin the ammunition case, then shoot yourself in the head. Maybe you'll die? Maybe you won't? You don't know because it's a one out of six, one out of eight chance." I said, my finger now toying with the tip of the knife.

"I'm b-"

"That's life. You don't know if you're going to die today, tomorrow, next week. You don't know. Everyday you wake up, you're taking that gun and pulling the trigger. Maybe you get the bullet, maybe you don't." I said and chuckled humorlessly.

"Please-"

"The only time it doesn't really count is suicide, even then, some people don't die from their attempt. Maybe that's what keeps them all alive, not the fear of dying, the fear of what would happen if you don't die." I said and shrugged my shoulders.

"That's-"

"Or if you're clinically sick with some kind of incurable cancer or disease. Then you add a bullet each day, each week, each month maybe, and when the guns finally fully loaded... Bang, next person over. Game over for you." I said and he put his hand over my mouth.

I looked at him and he was in tears, and I could feel eyes burning into my back. "You're not afraid of dying, why don't you do it then?" Ashton asked coldly as Michael moved his hand away from my mouth.

"It's not my time just yet," I said and looked at my finger as I accidentally pricked it on the tip of the knife. "But I promise you'll get front row seats to the show when it is."