(A/N: Check out my awesome new cover, courtesy of my wonderful friend Sakurano_Toon!!  *points fingers with goofy grin* Give her a round of applause, because HOLY CRAP LOOK AT THAT COVER!!!! <3)

"Hey, why'd you stop?"

"Will's asleep."

"Hey, Blue, wake up already!"

"Wh-what?  What's happening?"

"Bill!  He was supposed to fall asleep!"

"Yeah, but I'm not asleep, and I want you to continue."

"You're defeating the purpose of the bedtime story."

"Are you going to keep going or what?"

"You're the most selfish person on the planet."

"Less complaining, more story."

"...Fine."

-----------------------

Y/N glared at Wendy with a baleful expression as time ticked slowly by.

"You have to fall asleep sometime," Wendy pointed out.

Y/N stubbornly shook her head.  "Nope.  Never.  I'm staying awake for the rest of my life."

"That's not possible."

"Don't try to use logic against me, it won't work."

It had already been a day and a half.  Y/N had refused to return to the dining room, or the "place of nightmares" as she called it, so Soos had kindly delivered food to her room on a thankfully non-sentient napkin.

"What is up with this place?" she'd grumbled at one point.  "Is my bed sentient too?  Are the rugs aware I'm walking on them?  Does each stone in the wall have its own consciousness?"

Wendy had rolled her wooden eyes.  "If it's not talking to you, it's a safe bet it's not alive," she'd responded curtly.

Now Y/N nursed a cup of coffee, still trying her very best to keep from falling asleep.  After thirty-six monotonous hours, her eyelids were beginning to lose their battle with gravity.  The coffee mug slipped from her fingers as she slumped onto her pillow, thinking I'll just rest my eyes for a moment, but I'm not falling asleep... I won't ever fall asleep...

"Hello there, kitten!"

Her eyes snapped open.  The room had been drained of color.  Even Wendy was frozen in grayscale.  The only spots of color were Y/N herself and the ominous triangle at the foot of her bed.

"Hello, Bill," Y/N said through clenched teeth as she sat up.

"Hello, lovely," Bill replied.  If he'd had a mouth, she knew he would have been grinning.

"You can drop that," she snapped.  "I know you didn't take me hostage just because you think I'm hot."

"Hostage?"  His cackling sounded like the bleating of a demonic goat.  "That's the funniest joke I've heard since Louis XVI was beheaded!"

"Since... what?  And if I'm not a hostage, then why-"

"Do I want you as my permanent guest?" he interrupted.  "Would you believe it's because I'm lonely?"

"No."

He cackled again.  His voice was already beginning to give Y/N a headache.  "Good job, kid!  You're smarter than you look!"

"I'm flattered," she said, rolling her eyes.

Bill wiped away an imaginary tear.  "Well, kitten, I've got some big plans in the works for your world," his eye flashed blue as images of forests and deserts flashed across his yellow body, "but I can't interact with the physical world unless I make a deal with someone.  That's where you come in, kid!  Congratulations, you're my pawn!"

His stick arms waved every which way as he talked, emphasizing each sentence.  He seemed incapable of holding still.

"Just because I'm your 'permanent guest' doesn't mean you're the boss of me," Y/N said angrily.  "I don't have to make any deals with you."

"Sure, you don't have to," he acknowledged.  "But I'm warning you now.  This is my realm, and I can make your life very unpleasant." His body briefly flashed red as his voice deepened to a menacing growl.

"I'm positively quaking," Y/N said flatly.

"Oh, you will be," Bill agreed.  He snapped his stick fingers, and Y/N shrieked as the bed disappeared out from under her.

For a moment, the only thing she was aware of was the sensation of free fall.  She tumbled head over heels, realizing she was falling helplessly towards the forest floor far below.  In front of her terrified eyes, the forest burst into flames.  Smoke stung her eyes as the ground approached.

An instant before she hit the flames, her surroundings vanished.  Y/N found herself floating weightlessly in an airless void, the blackness punctuated by faraway stars and galaxies.  That now-familiar cackling echoed distantly around her.

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and tried to ignore every instinct that screamed I can't breathe, I'm seconds away from death, scream and flail and beg for mercy...

It's not real, she argued with herself.  I'm only dreaming, and I'll wake up soon enough.  She forced herself to calm down despite the pain in her lungs, keeping her eyes tightly shut and trying to ignore the obnoxious laughter.

"Wow, kid, you're a tough nut to crack!" Bill's voice was inches away from her ear.

Y/N's eyes snapped open to find herself once again in her black-and-white bedroom in the Fearamid.  Bill was right in front of her face.  She let out an involuntary shriek and jerked backward, cracking her head against the stone wall.

  "Any chance you can let me sleep in peace?" she grunted, rubbing her head.

"Hmm... Bill's pupil rolled in an exaggerated circle.  "Not likely!"

She sighed.  "I thought not."

"Aww, cheer up, kitten," Bill encouraged.  "It doesn't always have to be this way.  Once you agree to be my little meat puppet, I'll stay out of your dreams."

Y/N raised an eyebrow.  "But until then, you'll drive me insane with nightmares?"

"Now you're getting it!" Bill laughed again.  "Until you get with the program, good luck getting a wink of sleep!"

Y/N swung her fist at him.  As she'd expected, it passed right through with a ripple.

"Hey, that tickled!" Bill tilted his eye to look down at himself.  "Try that again, though, and I'll melt the flesh off your hand!  Then we'll see what really tickles!"

Y/N gulped, but put on a brave face.  "Do your worst."

"Oh, kid, you are going to be fun to break."  Bill's insane laughter echoed through the room as he vanished in a flash of blue flame.

Y/N gasped as she jerked awake.  The room was back to its normal colors, and Wendy was staring at her from across the room with a concerned look on her wooden face.

"Hey, Y/N, you alright?" she asked.  "You looked like you were having a bad dream."

Y/N ran her hand through her bed hair.  "I'm... fine.  I mean... I'll be fine.  Everything's fine."

"You sure?"

Y/N glanced at the tapestry on the wall depicting Bill.  If it's a war you want, you yellow monster, she thought as she ripped it off the wall, it's a war you'll get.

She marched out into the hallway, carrying the heavy tapestry with difficulty.  She stopped when she reached a torch on a wall sconce.

"I don't know if you can see me through this," Y/N addressed Bill's cross-stitched image.  "But if you can, I only have one thing to say."

She shoved the tapestry towards the torch, watching with glee as the flames caught.  "How do you like the view now!" she shrieked with vindictive glee.  "You're not the only one who can play with fire, you insufferable yellow lunatic!"

She dropped the flaming cloth and laughed at the top of her lungs while she watched it burn.  Man, maybe Bill has the right idea, she acknowledged.  Unbridled maniacal laughter is pretty fun.

"You'll never beat me, Bill," she said, even though his depicted image was nothing but a pile of smoldering ashes.

"I'm stronger than you."

(A/N: I took some liberties with Bill's personality in my other book, but for this one I'm trying my best to make sure it's spot on.  Please leave me some feedback if you think I'm drifting from his canon characteristics!)