"Jimmy."

I stood in the bedroom doorway, gripping my phone.

Jim was sitting on the bed. His tired eyes met mine and widened. "What's wrong?"

"I have to go to Harris Memorial. Isla's foster mom passed away."

"God." Jim rubbed his face. "Get your things; I'll take you."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Just let me get the car keys. Does Isla need anything?" 

"I don't know," I said, grabbing my purse. "Ivy texted me, but I didn't hear my phone. She isn't picking up now."

A nod was Jim's answer. I slung my purse over my shoulder and shoved my feet in my sneakers in the hallway. Jim put on a hoodie over his white tee and gently nudged me forward, out of the apartment.

A short elevator ride later, we were walking toward Jim's Audi in the underground garage. I got inside as soon as he unlocked the car and buckled up while he did the same.

Heavy silence stretched between us. The shock of the sudden news and the sadness our argument caused filled my insides. I studied my clasped hands, looking at my lap.

Jim's warm hand wrapped around mine. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know. You?"

"Same." Jim sighed. "Did you know Isla's foster mom well?"

"Of course." I smiled. "Isla and I have been friends since elementary school. Rose was always so kind. We had lots of sleepovers at Isla's when we were little. I can't believe Rose passed away. She needed a heart transplant, but we thought she'd hang in there."

"It sucks. Poor girl must be devastated."

"Rose is the only family Isla has ever had. I don't even know what to say to make her feel better."

"Let her know you're there for her. Sometimes it's the best thing you can do. That's what friends are for, after all."

"Thank you." I squeezed Jim's hand. "And thank you for taking me to the hospital despite what happened earlier."

"We'll talk about it later," Jim said with his eyes focused on the road ahead of us.

My dad texted me where Isla was. When we got to the hospital, we headed straight for the room he'd indicated. 

Isla's head snapped up as Jim opened the door. Both girls were sitting on a couch, and Ivy had her arm around Isla's shoulders. I wasted no time rushing to them.

"I'm so sorry," I said, hugging Isla tightly.

She sniffled and gave me a small smile that didn't reach her red eyes. "Thank you, Ava."

"I'm sorry," Jim said, crouching down in front of Isla. "Do you need anything? Coffee?"

"I've had enough caffeine not to sleep for a week, thank you," Isla said. "And thank you for being here, guys. It means a lot."

"What happened?" I asked, sitting by Isla's side on the couch. 

Jim took a seat in an armchair and leaned forward with his hands clasped on his knees.

"Rose had a heart attack," Isla said. "Nothing could be done, and there was a DNR order."

"It's not your fault," Ivy said. "It was Rose's decision. You couldn't have done anything."

Isla nodded. "I know. I just hoped a heart would appear. I never thought I'd lose her like that."

Isla's slim shoulders shook as she buried her face in her palms. Ivy and I embraced her tighter. 

Jim sighed deeply, looking at the three of us. "If you need help with anything, tell me."

Isla shook her head as she took a tissue from the box on the end table by the couch. "Rose thought about everything. It's as if she knew it'd happen."

"What now?" I whispered.

"I'm staying at Ivy's," she said. "Her parents are on their way here. I'll take care of the rest of the things tomorrow. Please, thank your dad for me. He and doctor Jennings helped me a lot."

"I'm sorry I couldn't get here earlier." I stroked a hand down Isla's back. 

"Nothing to be sorry for. You and Ivy are here, and that's what matters."

The door to the waiting room swung open. Ivy's parents stepped inside.

"We're so sorry, Isla," Malcolm, Ivy's dad, said. "Rose was a wonderful woman."

Ivy made some space for her mom, Ana, who sat on the couch and crushed Isla into a hug. 

Knowing Isla wouldn't be alone flooded me with relief. A brief chat with Ivy's parents later, all of us left the room and headed for the hospital exit.

"See you tomorrow." I hugged Isla tightly. "Call me if you need me, okay? I love you."

"I love you too," Isla said. She waved goodbye to Jim timidly and got into Ivy's parents' car.

Jim and I watched the vehicle reverse out of the parking lot. Now that it was only us, the tension returned, and with it the memories of our argument and the note.

"Poor girl," Jim said, focusing his gaze on something in the distance. "It's so hard to be alone this young."

"Very. Rose was the only family Isla had ever known."

Jim lowered his eyes to his feet and nodded. "I know it's not the right time," he said, "but we need to talk."

I hugged myself. "Okay."

"Let's go."

I followed Jim to his Audi. He opened the door for me and slid into the driver's seat. As soon as I buckled up, the engine purred.

Heavy silence enveloped us. My eyes darted from the busy highway behind the window to Jim's profile. What was on his mind? He gripped the steering wheel tightly and focused on nothing but the road; his brows pulled into a frown and his mouth in a tight line.

Ten minutes of the drive were enough for the fear to settle inside me — fear of him leaving me and of the words he might want to say.

When the Audi cruised down the familiar narrow road, some of the tension eased. He wouldn't bring me to his favorite place if he didn't want to be with me anymore.

Jim parked under a tree and got out of the car. He opened my door for me, and I took his hand, lacing my fingers through his. He bit his lip, studying our joined hands, and said nothing as he led me to the stone block facing the night city sprawled beneath.

Jim shrugged off his hoodie and spread it on the block so I could sit. He plopped down next to me, and for the longest minute in my life, we stared at the buildings and the array of multi-colored lights dotting the skyline.

"I came here for the first time when we got signed," Jim said.

My eyes met his. "Why?"

"When something you've been working hard for finally happens, the logical thing is to be thrilled, and I was. But then it sinks in, and there's this strange emptiness inside. You no longer have the big, unattainable dream. It may sound weird, but the process of getting there is what truly makes the dream worth it."

"Enjoying the journey and not the destination."

"You enjoy both, but in a different way."

I inched my hand toward Jim's on the stone and exhaled a shaky breath when he took it. 

"Having what I thought we had was another dream of mine. I've always wanted to be a successful musician but never needed the extras, such as women's attention and a slew of girls to sleep with. I did sleep with some of them without being interested in anything else cause they weren't, either. They never wanted the person, just the status, the image, or the bragging rights. Guess what? It got old pretty fast."

Jim's grip on my fingers tightened. He swallowed and went on speaking. "My last meaningless hookup was days before I met you. She wanted access to a high-end club or some shit, and when it was done, I was mad at myself for settling for something empty yet again. I didn't think it could be different for me. 

"I watched my friend Kennedy and his girl, and I was jealous of what they had. In a good way, but still. Aiden had been through hell, but having Ellie helped him cope. I wanted that for me. I wanted to have someone who'd wait for me at home, someone who'd ask me about my day and hug me. Someone I could watch a movie with and make love to. That was my dream. I dreamed of something genuine, but I never met anyone I wanted it with until the night I met you.

"And fuck, I thought you knew how much I valued our relationship. I tried to be the boyfriend you deserved to have. I assumed our feelings were strong enough for you to believe me and not some crappy note I had no idea about. I thought you knew me."

Jim's hand slipped out of mine. He rubbed his face with his palms and dropped his hands to his lap.

"I'm going to Paris in a week. Kennedy's getting married in July, and I'm his best man. I planned to travel there and return home before going to France for the wedding, but I think I'll stay there and do some band promo. Several French magazines wanted an interview. I might as well do it in person."

"So, you'll be away for almost a month?"

"Yeah," Jim whispered. "I think we need a break."

Moisture welled up in my eyes, and my jaw trembled. A break never meant something temporary. It was a polite way of breaking up with someone.

Jim's calloused fingertips wiped the tear off my cheek. "We need some distance to think clearly. I want to give you space to decide if you want to be with me for real."

"Weren't we already together for real?"

"Yes and no," Jim said, caressing my face. "I'm talking about going public. It's about us figuring out the way to handle the paps and my fame. I need to know you trust me so we can have a future together. I want to attend events with you and let everyone know I'm in a committed relationship. I waited, and look what happened. One shitty note, and everything went to hell."

I leaned into Jim's touch. Tears burned my eyes and spilled onto my cheeks.

"Come here," he whispered, drawing an arm around me. Sobs shook my body as I buried my face in his chest. 

"Baby, please." Jim rubbed soothing circles on my skin. "I don't know what to do. I'm trying to save what we have, and sometimes being apart for a little while helps. You need to see if you can trust me."

"She used to be my friend."

Jim's caresses stopped. He gripped my face, and his eyes roamed it. "What do you mean? Who?"

"The one who wrote the note."

"Wait, so you know who did it?"

I wiped the tears with the sleeve of my hoodie. "Her name's Tasha. We'd been friends since elementary school, but when I came back from France, something changed. 

"She was obsessed with you. She told us you exchanged numbers at a club. Since I didn't know who I was dating, I was clueless and never gave it a second thought. But then I realized she knew I was dating Jim O'Brien the whole time. She was the one who sent me a video from your concert.  I kicked her out of my house and stopped talking to her, but my insecurity didn't go away.

"I didn't want to date for the sake of it or give myself to someone without feelings. Hearing Tasha say I was anti-men because of that did something to me. I started doubting my convictions, and when I met you, there was always this nagging feeling that I wasn't enough."

"Friends don't do that to each other. That's not friendship, baby. There's nothing wrong with waiting for the right person."

"I hate how easily I let her get to me. I saw the note, and her words about men preferring girls with experience rang in my ears. I thought I wasn't enough for you, and you held back with me."

"And you jumped to conclusions."

"I did. I'm sorry for doubting you without talking to you first."

Jim wrapped me in his arms and spoke against my cheek. "I never exchanged numbers with her. Since I met you, it's been only you for me. I don't need other girls, but the note isn't a problem. The trust is. What will happen when I go on tour? What will happen when I have to attend events, and you see pictures of me in the media? Those are parts of my job."

"I know."

"I need you to trust me. We can't build a relationship if you doubt my loyalty and my feelings when I never gave you reasons to do so."

I nodded, burying my face in the crook of  Jim's neck. 

"I'm also sorry for raising my voice at you. I snapped, and it won't happen again."

"You were hurt. I get it. Do you know how that note got into your pocket?"

"I don't, but I'll find out," Jim said, touching my forehead with his lips. "Don't worry about anything, okay?"

I looked into his eyes. They softened, and Jim tilted his face down, angling it so he could kiss me.

Our lips collided. It was fire, and impatience, and the questions we still needed to answer. I swung my leg over his lap and climbed on top of him, clutching the back of his shirt and fusing my mouth to his, desperate for him not to pull away.

Jim's palms cupped my behind. He jerked me forward, making every inch of my body touch every inch of his.

"How could you even think I'd have this with anyone else?" he asked, stopping the kiss for a second, his voice strained. His tongue slid into my mouth right after, and a low groan vibrated in his throat.

Jim held me as he rose to his feet and snatched his hoodie off the bench. I wrapped my legs around him tighter while he carried me to his car. 

He slid into the backseat and made me straddle his lap. Jim's lips returned to mine, and his hands caressed the back of my thighs through the denim of my jeans. 

He rid me of them, leaving me in my underwear. Hot lips moved from my mouth to my neck, laying a trail of blazing kisses.

"Only you can do this to me," Jim whispered, raising his hips. His hardness hit my core, and I clutched his shoulders, closing my eyes.

He lifted my shirt and tugged my bra down. His wet tongue swirled around my nipple at the same time the tip of his erection pressed against my entrance. He filled me slowly, sucking on my breasts. His moan vibrated against my chest when he was deep inside me. My palms slid under his shirt, desperate to touch his smooth, hot skin.

Jim's fingertips pressed into the back of my thighs while he pulled me forward. My body responded to each caress of his lips, tightening in delicious anticipation. I rocked back and forth on his lap, feeling him grow hotter and heavier. Restrained by the limited space of the car, we barely moved, but even the slightest shift of his hips paired with the caresses of his mouth, multiplied my arousal tenfold.

With one of my hands on Jim's back, I moved the other one to the front of my body. My fingers found my clit. I circled it and stilled when Jim stopped kissing me.

"Don't stop." I panted.

"You touching yourself is the hottest thing I've seen," Jim said, licking my nipple. "Do it, baby. You're so close I can feel it. Don't hold back."

"I've done it many times, thinking about you."

Jim bit me softly. "And where the hell was I?"

"In your bed."

"Thinking about you, too. Only you."

His hips moved, and so did my hand. My mouth parted when my muscles tightened, getting ready for a release. 

"Keep going, baby. I'll be right there with you."

Jim's palms slid up my thighs to my bum. He guided my movements, kissing me as if he couldn't stop, moaning each time a whimper left my lips.

It took one more thrust and one more touch of my fingertips for the wave of pleasure to spread inside me. It grew in intensity because Jim was still moving. Still kissing me. Still worshipping my body with his hands. 

I cupped his cheeks with my hands and pressed my mouth to his. The tip of my tongue grazed the tip of his, and he let go, trembling in my embrace. 

"I love you," he rasped. "Like I've never loved anyone. Tell me you believe me."

"I do."

"Use the time away from me to decide if you're ready to openly be with me. I'll be thinking about you, but I'll give you space. Whatever you decide, tell me what it is once I'm back."

I knew what my answer would be, but I nodded. I needed to work on my insecurities, and Isla would need her friend.

Jim cleaned me up and held me for what felt like hours. Then, he drove me home.

His kiss in my driveway tasted like goodbye. I clung to him, forcing myself not to break down.

"One more thing before I go," he said, rubbing my back.

"Yeah?"

"That girl you told me about, what's her last name? I need to know how she managed to put the note in my clothes. She must have been at the event."

I put some distance between us. "Tasha Rogers. Don't hide things from me. If you know something, tell me."

"There aren't and there won't be secrets between us."

Jim's lips met mine. Sadness and longing dripped from his gaze when I looked at him over my shoulder, my key already in the lock of my front door.

I'm back! My apologies for the long chapter. I didn't want to split it, so here we go.

I might've dropped a little bomb. If you realized what it is, tell me.

Thoughts?

Who's excited to see Aiden and Ellie again?

Tell me everything! I'm excited to know what you think!

P.S. the song is somehow fitting. It's on Beautifully playlist on my Spotify. Link in my bio.