The view of the night city was as breathtaking as usual. I came to this spot whenever I felt overwhelmed and wanted some peace and quiet to put my thoughts in order. After tonight, this place wouldn't be just mine anymore. It would remind me of Ava and our first kiss. 

My longest relationship was the one I had with music. Since I held a guitar in my hands for the first time, I'd dedicated my time to playing the instrument and writing lyrics. I'd been with girls but never wanted a committed relationship.

Finding a girl to spend the night with was easy — too easy and very far from being satisfying, apart from the physical release. Deep down, I craved a  meaningful, genuine relationship. I wanted what Kennedy had with Ellie. Hell, I would give whatever to have the connection my parents shared even now, two grownup kids, and many years later. 

I hadn't been in the industry for too long, but I'd seen enough to realize genuine feelings and relationships seemed to be out of reach for many of my fellow musicians. Our career was time-consuming, and as cliche as that sounded, it wasn't easy to dedicate time to your partner when your time hardly ever belonged to you.

Of course, some people made it work. Now, as I held Ava in my arms after kissing her, I was awash with certainty that it was worth it — trying to make it work with her was worth it. 

I'd never felt what she made me feel. I didn't think I'd ever kissed a girl for the sake of it, knowing it wouldn't lead to anything else, except for my first kiss when I was fourteen and awkward.

Not that I didn't feel awkward now. I smiled, tightening my arms around Ava. As if she felt that, she tilted her head up and looked at me.

"Cold?" I asked, smoothing my thumb over her cheek. The wind whipped Ava's hair around, and I tried to tuck the strands behind her ears while she blushed. I had no idea if she was blushing at the gesture or at the kiss that happened some minutes ago. 

So, I kissed her again, slowly and tenderly, just a soft caress of her lips with mine.

"Not cold," Ava whispered when we broke apart. 

"Blush again, and I will kiss you once more," I teased, laughing when Ava buried her face in the crook of my neck. I felt her smile against my skin.

"Although now that I think about it, I will do it anyway," I added, "after we eat."

Ava glanced up at me and frowned. "Eat? Where?"

"Here. Come with me."

I took her hand in mine, lacing our fingers, and led her to my car. I'd stopped by Thierry's bistro on my way to meet Ava and asked him for something that would taste well cold. 

I opened the rear door and grabbed the bag with food from the back seat. 

"You thought about everything," Ava said, trying to peek into the bag. 

"Dinner with a view." I winked at her and led the way to a stone block that served as a bench.

Ava was going to sit there, but I didn't let her do it, flopping down on it instead and pulling her into my lap.

"Quiche," Ava said with so much glee in her voice I grinned. 

"I had no idea it was your favorite."

"Reminds me of France. It was one of my favorite dishes there."

"The owner of the restaurant I got the dish from is French. He's the guy who's teaching me how to cook. Just don't tell him about my fuckup when you meet him. Thierry wouldn't be impressed."

"Everyone makes mistakes, Jim. What happened wasn't a big deal, but judging by the importance you give it, I'd say you're a perfectionist."

I chuckled before taking a bite of my food. I was a perfectionist, indeed, especially when it came to music.

"So, that means yes." I heard Ava say once she stopped chewing.

"I usually try to do my best, and it frustrates me when I fail to do it."

"Same." Ava sighed. "On some days, I feel like a failure."

I paused mid-bite and stared at her. "What? You?"

"Yeah. I see my girlfriends sure of what they want to do, and I can't help thinking that it took me too long to figure out what I wanted to study. I will start later than they did. What if I never get anywhere? My writing could be average."

"It's not," I objected. "But I get the fear. Everyone who does something creative feels that way. It's not only you. And yeah, it might be easier to succeed in a more conventional job, but you know it wouldn't make you happy. You have to take the risk. It might be worth it in the end."

Ava's beautiful eyes studied my face. "You're saying it as if you knew what you're talking about."

I sure did. After all, I had those same doubts and fears when I decided to pursue a career in music, but I couldn't tell Ava that yet. 

"My friend's girl is studying Arts in Paris. She had her first exhibition here before they returned home. If she made it, so will you. You're young, Ava. Young and talented. Give yourself some credit," I told Ava instead.

Ava smiled. We went on eating, facing the lit up high rises in front of us. Then, I grabbed the thermos and poured coffee into two styrofoam cups. 

Ava hummed her approval when she took a sip. 

"Do you like it?" I asked although I was positive she did.

"Yeah. It's amazing."

"I have more at home. And I think I also might have some chocolate."

Ava chuckled, looking at the cup in her hands. "Jim…"

"What?"

"You know I can't."

"Can't have some coffee with me?"

"Can't stay at your place again."

I downed the rest of my drink and hugged Ava to me, waiting for her to finish her coffee. 

"Why can't you?" I asked when she rested the empty cup on the stone beside her.

"I spent last night with you."

"That was last night. It doesn't count. It's a new day, a new evening, a new night. And something is different."

Ava snuggled into me and whispered, "What?"

"We kissed. And I want to do it again. All night."

"That's when you will try to get into my pants, right?"

Laughing, I kissed Ava's cheek. "Wrong. I mean just kissing. And feeding you some chocolate. We could also talk about your book."

"You're not playing fair," Ava complained. 

"I can be persistent."

"I noticed. I just don't want to rush. Besides, I told Dad about you today. He's cool with it, but he might not be if I don't spend another night at home so soon."

"Then, I will have to meet him."

"He said he wanted to. After we've been on twenty dates."

"Sixteen to go. Are you sure there isn't anything I can do to convince you?"

Ava's eyes sought mine. Then, she kissed me. Her lips brushed against my own, making me want more.

"We can compromise," she said, running her fingertips across my cheek. "How about a morning run together tomorrow?"

There wasn't anything I wanted more than that, but I couldn't do it and hated my packed schedule for it.

"I won't be free till late in the afternoon," I said. "I'm sorry. I have to take care of some things in the morning. Unless you want to run at six a.m., I'm afraid I won't be able to do it with you."

Ava smiled, shaking her head. "Not at six in the morning. I think I will need more sleep after tonight."

"Can you forgive me? I'll do my best to clear my schedule later in the day."

"You forgot that I'm starting to work tomorrow. It's an afternoon shift this week. But I'm sure we'll figure something out."

"I promise. Perhaps you could stay at my place? Not tomorrow if it's too soon, but maybe in a few days?"

Ava smiled at me. "It seems to be important to you."

I wanted to tell her it was way more important than she realized. I was a guy, but I wasn't immune to feeling lonely. And after having Ava sleeping next to me, I knew how huge and cold my bed would be when she wasn't in it.

But I said nothing. I cupped her face with my palms and kissed her harder than before, enjoying the soft gasp that fell off Ava's lips when I deepened the kiss and caressed her tongue with mine.

She responded tentatively, making me wonder if I was rushing things too much. I wanted her to trust me, to tell me what she felt and wanted before we took things further.

Although I didn't want to, I stopped. And an hour later, I drove Ava home.

The ride was filled with hand-holding and silence — the best kind of it, when no words were needed, and your eyes said it all.

Once we were next to Ava's house, I killed off the engine and leaned over the console to kiss her once more.

"Will you let me walk you to the front door?" I asked. 

Ava laughed. "It's not necessary, Jim. Thank you for tonight. It was amazing."

"Thank you for agreeing to go out with me. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

Nodding, Ava placed her hand on my cheek and pecked my lips. And just like before, I couldn't help craving more of her.

***

The reason why I couldn't spend the morning with Ava was sprawled in his leather chair, sipping his coffee.

Knowing Wyatt, he surely added a little something to his java. Unfortunately, alcohol didn't make him less of a jerk.

"Jimmy boy," Wyatt said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, "what do you have for me?"

The fucker didn't tell me to take a seat, but I did it regardless, mirroring his position. 

"We're working on a song."

"Work faster, Jimmy boy. Time is money."

"I know," I said, more to avoid a confrontation than to express my agreement with Wyatt's words. "We're doing what we can."

"Valentine's Day is the perfect occasion to release it."

"It won't be ready by then, Wyatt. The holiday is in a week."

And as much as it bugged me, I was yet to write the lyrics I wouldn't be ashamed to sing. 

Wyatt rubbed his chin, feigning that he was deep in thought. I knew it was merely an act. He never did anything without having a plan, and the fact that he insisted on meeting me first thing in the morning spoke volumes.

"I might have something in mind," Wyatt finally said.

"I'm all ears."

"I arranged an interview for you. It's for one of the biggest magazines. They will release it on Valentine's Day. You will speak about your personal life, say you're available and actively searching for The One. Then, a photoshoot. Your abs on display, the top button of the jeans undone. Whatever to make ladies swoon, right, Jimmy boy?"

"Wrong."

Wyatt narrowed his beady eyes at me. "Excuse me?"

"I won't tell the magazine I'm single because I'm seeing someone."

"Nobody cares."

"I do. My personal life has nothing to do with my music. Fans will listen to us, regardless."

Chuckling, Wyatt shook his head. "No songs, and now this. Is she from the industry?"

"She's not. Just an ordinary girl."

My reply was a lie. Ava was far from being ordinary, but the less Wyatt knew, the better it was for me and probably even Ava.

"You have a certain reputation, Jimmy boy. To the world, you are single and available. Who you fuck when you're not in public isn't my business. So, just to make sure we're on the same page— you will do the interview and answer the questions, saying what you have to say. I take care of the band's image, and mentioning some girl nobody cares about is stupid. I'll email you the details. Now, go write more songs for me."

I got up from the chair and walked out of Wyatt's office without sparing him a glance, pretending to be unaffected and indifferent.

I kept the rage bottled up inside right until I got behind the wheel of my car, ready for my kind of therapy — a long, fast drive with no destination in mind.