____________________

"I love you."

I stiffen in surprise, her words causing my chest to tighten and my heart to hammer erratically against my ribs. I've been waiting what feel like fucking forever to hear those words leave her lips, and I'm blowing it. My reply is caught in my throat, unable to be voiced. 

What the fuck?

Mabel lifts her head, pulling away from me and holding the sheets to her chest. She's reading my silence as more than it is as she stares back at me with her widened green eyes. "S-sorry, I didn't mean it. I don't know where that came from."

Sometimes people can misinterpret their feelings after sex, or so I've heard, and mistake it for love. Raised levels of oxytocin or some shit like that. Her words hurt like she's driving a knife deep into my chest, but I manage to force a tight lipped smile.

"Mabes..." I trail off, reaching for her.

She shakes her head, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. "It's fine. I'm gonna use the bathroom. Just forget I said anything."

If I say anything now it won't mean anything. She won't believe me.

Mabel makes her way over to my dresser and pulls out one of my t-shirts, sliding it over her head.

Why am I such a fucking idiot?

She doesn't look back at me again as she makes her way across the room to open the bedroom door. She pauses in the doorway momentarily, her shoulders drooping with what I assume to be a heavy sigh, and then continues across the hall to the bathroom.

Saying those three little words to Mabel isn't going to be my first time saying them to a woman, but it's the first time that I mean them. I can't help but wonder if that's the reason I choked up. Maybe it had been a bad idea to wait for her to say it first. Maybe I should've told her as soon as I knew.

I drag a hand roughly over my face with a groan.
Mabel enters the room again, shutting the door softly behind herself. She keeps her head down but I can tell that her eyes are still glistening from tears.

I'm such a fucking dick.

When she climbs back into bed I pull her back into my side, but the air has changed between us. It's tense and uneasy, and I hate it.

If Lizzie or Tyler were here and found out how much of an ass I had just been they would surely give me hell for it. My sister would probably smack me and shout insults at me, and I'm pretty sure Ty would do something along those lines too. I almost wish they were here to knock some sense into me because God knows I need it.

"Thanks for tonight, I had fun," Mabel murmurs into my chest, her warm breath tickling my skin.

I squeeze her shoulders tighter and plant a kiss on the top of her head. "Me too."

As cheesy as it sounds, even in my own head, having sex with someone I love was a completely different experience. Almost otherworldly. It hadn't just been about getting one another off, but rather showing Mabel what I couldn't put into words. The better it felt for her, the more it increased my own pleasure, and I don't think I ever want to go back to having quick fucks.

Mabel's breathing deepens as she drifts off to sleep on me, and I can feel the exhaustion of our earlier activities setting in. I sink further into the mattress, surrounded by the sweet scent of her shampoo. My eyelids grow heavier and heavier until I just can't keep them open any longer and join Mabel in sleep.

✖️✖️✖️

When I wake up the next morning it's still fairly early. The rising sun shines its beams through my bedroom curtains, illuminating the room in a soft glow. I know right away that I won't be able to fall asleep again. My body might still be craving rest, but my brain has had enough and so sleep is pretty much out of the question.

Mabel snores gently beside me, laying on her stomach with her dark hair splayed on the pillows around her face. I watch her sleep for about a minute before chastising myself internally for being such a creep. I roll over, careful not to disturb her, and head for the bathroom with a pair of sweats and a clean shirt.

Judging by the clock on the wall that reads just after seven in the morning, I know that I'll have some time to clear my head before Mabel gets up. Her classes won't start until later in the afternoon, and if I remember correctly it's just the one that she has on Thursdays.

After getting dressed and brushing my teeth I head downstairs. Luke's door is propped open and his loud snores spill into the hallway. He's passed out cold on top of his blankets with his bare ass in full view. My guess is that he got too lazy to undress when he got home last night since he's still wearing one sock and has one pant leg of his jeans and boxers dangling from the ankle of one of his feet that's draped over the edge of the mattress. I can't help but roll my eyes as I close his door all the way.

I put on a pot of coffee in the kitchen and then head for the front door. I slide my feet into a pair of running shoes and pull a hat over my head. I'm hoping that a quick run will help to clear my head and tire me out enough that I'll be able to take a nap when I get back. Tugging on a lightweight jacket, I fish my phone out of the pocket of my pants and slip my headphones into my ears. When I'm content with my choice of music, I step out onto the porch, bouncing lightly on the balls of my feet.

I would much rather be doing laps on the rink than on pavement, but at this point I just need to get my blood pumping. My mind has been a scrambled mess since last night, always playing through different scenarios about what I would've, should've, could've done differently. Needless to say, it's about time that it shuts the hell up for a while.

I start out with a light jog and increase my speed little by little. My skin burns in protest at the cold mountain air, but it isn't long before I've worked up enough heat that the chilled wind doesn't bother me any longer. Sweat beads at my hairline, bleeding into the fabric of my beanie as it catches it before it has the chance to drip down my forehead.

About a half mile into my run I make the decision that when I get home I'll tell Mabel the truth. I love her, and she needs to know it whether she said it by mistake last night or not. I can't take this back and forth bullshit any longer, and keeping my feelings for her muted and bottled up isn't going to get us anywhere.

I've just made it back inside the house when there's a knock on the front door, startling me as I untie my shoes. I ignore it at first and continue with what I'm doing, smacking the soles of my shoes together to rid them of the snow. Another knock ensues, louder this time, and I let out a deep sigh.

"Jesus Christ, hang on," I grind out irritably, straightening up again.

I reach for the doorknob and wrench it back. I swear if this is just another Jehovah's Witness—

Kelsey stands on the other side of the door dressed in a baggy sweater and yoga pants, her dirty blonde hair piled on top of her head. She's holding something in her hands, her fingers blocking it from view as she rocks back on her heels and stares up at me from beneath dark lashes.

"We need to talk," she says, narrowing her eyes at me.

My jaw clenches of its own accord, and my fingers tighten on the door frame as I continue to block the entrance with my body. "No. I told you I was done, Kels. You can't just keep showing up here."

She appears more tired than I ever remember seeing her. Gone is the extensive amount of makeup, the spray tan, and the shine that her hair used to hold; replaced by dark circles, cracked lips, and hell of a lot of frizz.

"Alex," she begins again, switching her tactics so she sounds as though she's pleading. She shifts her hands in front herself anxiously, and I finally catch sight of what it is that she's holding. "We really need to talk. It's kind of important."

I squint at the object in disbelief, fear lacing up the length of my spine. Air whooshes painfully from my lungs and I struggle to suck it back in with a strangled sounding gasp. "What the actual fuck, Kels. Tell me that's not a fucking pregnancy test."

____________________

Get ready for a wild ride here guys...shit's about to get real...

Kind of on the shorter side for this chapter, but I'm trying to get the ball rolling here.

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