I haven't rested in a really long time.

That is how I am feeling now after waking up smelling the breakfast Leon was making. Must be the sleepless nights I had recently.

Last night he stopped us in the middle of the sea and came inside saying that he was going to cook. Then of course, I didn't know he knew how to cook.

The next hour and half, he was busy making dinner. When he was done, he brought the deliciously smelling food to the table. And let me confess, I hadn't eaten such food.

After dinner, he went to check on 'some things', then he came to the small but cozy bedroom and we cuddled before drifting off to sleep.

"I feel like a baby right now." I said when he brought food to where I was still sleeping.

"Be prepared because I don't plan on stopping." He took a piece of a cherry and fed me. It felt good to feel something sweet in my mouth.

"I'm glad that you like it. Now go get a shower because you are smelling." He said, rubbing his nose in disgust.

"Really?" I smelled myself and he laughed proving he was mocking me. Then I started hitting him playfully. I don't know how it happened, but the next thing I knew, he was on top of me. A couple of inches away from my face, may I add.

"Would you like another good morning kiss again?" He asked and I stayed silent because I couldn't utter a word due to the way he was looking at me.

"I take your silence as a yes." Then without wasting another minute, he dipped his head and took my mouth possessively not caring that I still had my bad morning breath.

I tasted coffee on his tongue as it found mine. His hands reached my waist and pulled me towards him making me straddle him. My hands came to his soft hair and I responded to his kisses just the way he wanted me too.

After a moment, he stopped. "Tell me if you want me to stop because after this, I won't."

His eyes were hooded as he looked at me, waiting for my answer. Remember how I told you that courage was not my thing, well I told him not to stop.

If I had courage I would have stopped him and even stopped this whole facade before we fell for each other. Because yes, I had fallen for him.

Don't take how we went for granted that we hate each other. And it was forbidden to fall for him from the start.

But no one can fight the power of love.

I was afraid that he would discover the truth, most importantly. Because unlike Emily, I was still pure.

So when he started taking my clothes off, I stopped him.

"Leon... I.... I'm still a..."

"I know that. Since this is the first time we are going to consummate our marriage. So don't worry, I will take it slowly."

So Emily lied to me not to look bad!!!

I felt like a load was taken off my shoulder and I had no remorse. I let him take us to our world and I forgot everything. Every now and then he would whisper some beautiful words that melted my heart away.

Why did we have to meet like this? Me pretending and him believing that I was someone else!

If only. If only I had had the courage to tell my mother the truth, maybe I would be the one living with him now and this would be all true and more beautiful.

Now how am I going to tell him the truth after this?

Later that day, we were outside on the boat enjoying the late sunset, me sitting between his legs while one hand was caressing my hair and the other was holding mine.

"Let me confess something to you." He said suddenly and I turned in to face him.

"I'm all ears."

"I am bad at words but I will try to make it because this moment is so important to us." He took both of my hands and kissed them before continuing,

"When Liza died, my whole world crashed. She was everything to me. My first love since I came back from my studies. We had memorable and beautiful moments that when she died, they kept haunting me. Especially since I blamed myself for her death." He took a deep breath, looked at the sea and continued,

"From that day, I closed myself in. When I started to lose my daughter, we consulted a psychiatrist and from that moment it was the two of us for a while. Then you came. I admit that at first I was mad at my father for arranging a marriage for me after I had just healed, especially after our hate for each other. But now I'm thankful to him because," he took my face in his hands looking deeply into my eyes, "Thanks to you I learned to love again."

I couldn't help it. Tears started to roll down my face. I was not sad, because I knew deep down that he was in love with me and not Emily.

"I love you. More than I could ever imagine, and please stop crying or else I will start to think that you are sad."

He wiped off my tears and I hugged him.

"I'm not sad and I love you more."

We stayed like that in each other's arms until night fell and it was time to go back. He went back to the wheel and this time I was beside him as he showed some things about how to sail.

I made a decision.

I will stay quiet and continue living as Emily, because I didn't want to lose him and if it meant living a lie I will. And because it was me he loved even though he didn't know.

We arrived at the port later that night and we took our car back home. Everyone was asleep by then because every light was switched off.

He went inside first with our luggage and I stayed behind to lock the car. Then I saw someone approaching me.

It was a woman judging by the figure. She continued to approach and when light came on her, I gasped.

It was Emily.

"What are you doing here? You know very well that Leon can come out in any second." I hissed.

"Calm down, I won't stay for long. I heard you were breaking all the rules I gave you before you came here to replace me and...." She stopped mid sentence and looked behind me.

I slowly turned and my heart stopped.

There stood Leon looking between us bewildered.

I knew it would not last long.

******************
😭😭😭😭😭😭

Let me just leave you here and go cry in the corner!!!

Much love 🧡

Marty.