『Chapter Eleven』
『klaus mikaelson and the rare apology to salvage his love』

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"What do you mean he just left? Are you that incapable of using you magic to make sure that the very person that I needed to be here didn't leave?" Klaus asked, extremely pissed at Henry. Though he was more surprised that even Elijah had failed in what he thought was a plan and yet he was bestirred by Bodie who Klaus knew held himself back for whatever reason Klaus wasn't too sure on.

"I'm sorry Klaus but Bodie was fucking pissed!" Henry argued. "And if you haven't noticed, Bodie is normally the calm and collected but since you came back into his life and fucked it up he's more shut off and in towards his anger. He's fucking scary when he's angry."

Klaus didn't like the answer but knew that what Henry was telling him was true. In all the time that Klaus has known Bodie, he's never tried to get angry or would distance himself from a situation if it angered him in the slightest. He always thought it to be the curse he was yet to trigger, knowing that Bodie's anger came from that every so often. Klaus always wondered as to how Bodie managed after all these years to not trigger his curse, but he never asked because it was something that wasn't that important given the time.

He ended up sighing a little. "I need you to do a locator spell on him. I want him back."

Henry crossed his arms then. "So you can lock him back in here? You know that he'd rather kill than be locked back in this place alone with his thoughts."

Klaus narrowed his eyes towards Henry to which made the heretic look down at his feet. "Need I remind you that the only reason why you and your brother are still alive is because of Bodie. Now, before I lose any more of my patience, I would strongly advise you to do what I ask of you. Find Bodie."

"Fine," Henry sighed. "Do you have anything that belongs to him? I'll need it for the spell."

Will—who neither of them had heard come in—cleared his throat then. "Before either of us do what you want, I'd like to know what you're going to do to him once we find him. You have Bodie's white oak stake, so are you going to kill him?"

Klaus stared between the two, slightly offended over the idea that the pair thought him such a monster to kill Bodie. He killed for less than what Bodie done to him and yes he was angry over the fact that Bodie had rallied basically everyone against him as well as hiding the one thing that could kill him from Klaus himself, but he couldn't bring himself to kill Bodie. It would be the one murder he wouldn't be able to forgive himself over. Bodie meant everything to him even if he didn't want to admit it to Bodie or even showed it through his actions—but he always thought that he was doing what was best when it came to him. "I'm not going to kill Bodie! I just want to find him."

"And torture him?" Will asked, raising an eyebrow.

Again, he was shocked at the thought. "No!"

"Are you sure?" Henry asked. "Because you did try and make me torture him until he told you what he compelled me to not tell anyone as you think it might be something that you want the answer to."

Klaus wanted to murder them, they were getting on his nerves. He only got Henry to do that considering that he thought that maybe Bodie would cave in instead of pretending that he passed out. Though, Klaus would have to give it to him, Bodie really fought to keep his secret hidden from him, enough so that he compelled both Henry and Will to not talk about it at all unless it was to Bodie himself, alone. And yes, Klaus did assume that Bodie would tell Henry or even repeat the secret out loud, but it appeared as if Bodie intended to take this secret to his grave, and as tempting as it was to challenge it—Klaus didn't want to lose Bodie any more than what he has already.

"I am sure," Klaus said slowly, trying his best to force his anger down. He then walked over to Elijah—who was still laying on the floor with the dagger in his chest—and pulled it out. "I'm not going to hurt Bodie." Never Bodie.

Elijah's eyes opened as the desiccation faded from his face. He looked towards Klaus for a moment with a look that made Klaus realise that he should be the one to follow through with his plans rather than to listen to his brother who wanted to see if he could get more of a direct answer rather than torture.

"Thanks to you, brother, Bodie escaped. I assume that was what you wanted, correct?" Klaus asked, slightly taunting him.

Elijah stood with the help of Klaus who pulled him to his feet. "It wasn't what I wanted but I suppose it's a mess that I'll have to sort."

"No need," Klaus assured. "We'll have one of them track Bodie." He gestured towards the Woodfords. "And I'll be the one to follow after my Bodie considering that he wouldn't want to see you—Elijah—for almost daggering him, he might not want to see either of you heretics for, well, because of me—"

"And he wants to rip your heart out, Klaus, for literally everything that you've done, so be my guest." Will cut in.

Klaus hated him. He wanted to kill him. Think of Bodie.

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Bodie was sat in an empty Wembley Stadium that had been cleared out hours ago as there were still people dotting around clearing up the field and rows of chairs, though Bodie was sat out the way right at the back where no eyes to see him. He'd stolen clothes from a shop not that far from the stadium, not that it mattered much, he'd compelled the store assistant to forget that he was ever there. He'd also stolen several bottles of vodka, whiskey, and rum, wanting nothing more than to drink everything that he felt away. He already tried it with blood which resulted in seven dead bodies that Bodie couldn't be bothered to bury, so the mix between blood and booze in his mouth was rather odd but he didn't care that much.

He wrapped the jacket around him more, watching the slight movement of those still cleaning up for whatever other use the stadium would have on for the next day. He took a swing of the Smirnoff Vodka that he'd bought, pulling a face as it slid down his throat, leaving a slight tinge of pain running down. He knew that drinking wouldn't help him with everything going on, but he never felt more alone than what he did at the moment, he would've talked to either Henry or Will about this, but given their current state, he didn't trust them.

In all honesty, he never felt more alone. He forgot what it was like to be as lonely as this and ironically it was the only time that he missed his pack and his parents. He wished that he had his parents to lean against to talk about what troubled him—but realistically, he didn't know what troubled him the most, there was a long list, but he wouldn't even know where to begin. He cursed at Esther for making him like this, he cursed at Mikael for killing his parents, he cursed at himself for ever allowing himself to be what he was, he should've died the same time that his parents did.

He wished that he'd taken that white oak stake and used it on himself in hopes to reunite himself with his parents. And yet, he knew that his parents would be ashamed of him which hurt to think about, he loved them, but he knew that they wouldn't love him for being what he is and what he's done. He wished that he never became this, he wished that he could stop loving Klaus, he wished that he was never dragged back into the chaos of Klaus, he wished that he would meet his end.

But the thing that he wished more than anything else was that he wished that eternity wasn't as dreadful as this was. He wished that eternity wasn't as painful as this and he wished that it would end. He couldn't anymore. Every heartbreak, every betrayal, every disaster, was an added reason as to why eternity was shit, to feel everything as grand as he did was life's greatest misery. This isn't what he thought eternity to be like, yes it could be beautiful, but it was a pain in his ass which he hated more than anything in the world.

He ended up downing the rest of the vodka—which was roughly half—before allowing it to slip form his hand. He looked up at the open roof of the stadium and stared at the clouds which covered the stars, trying to fight down the tears which started to form. He didn't want to cry, but all which happened seemed too much, the vodka and already drunk whiskey was getting to him more than what he expected. He wondered how others like him dealt with this, with all this pain, but then he found himself not caring for what others did.

All Bodie wanted was to curl up in a ball and just pray that this all fades. A part of him wished that Mikael would just put him out of his misery, it was the least he could do after his wife turned him and he—Mikael—killed Bodie's parents. Maybe Mikael could end him, and he'd finally be at peace where he wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. He considered it for a moment, he probably wouldn't have to wait for Mikael to appear, he could just find a witch who could find Mikael and bring him here, but it would mean interacting with someone which he really didn't want to do.

Bodie closed his eyes, he just wanted to rest. He was so tired of everything being on hyper-drive, he was tired of his emotions over running everything in him, he was tired of being awake. He was tired of Klaus coming back into his life just to break his heart over and over again and for it to be the worst pain that Bodie ever felt. He wasn't sure on how much longer he could deal with all of this. It wasn't what he wanted for himself, he just wanted peace.

And he wasn't going to get that anytime soon. As much as he wished and wished for his suffering to be wiped out, he knew that it wasn't going to come anytime soon. He had to live until someone decided to stake him with the white oak which was in the possession of either Mikael or Klaus, which sucked so bad. He wished that he'd taken that stake or kept it hidden so in a moment like this, he could finally slip away where no one would miss him. And no one would, everyone would move on, and the world would keep spinning.

He wondered if this was what Esther meant all those years ago when she meant that this was judgement, that eternity would prove that he was guilty of a crime that he did actually commit. He wished that someone would just judge him for it, he didn't want to wait anymore. Did Esther want him to just yell out that he killed Henrik? Did Esther want him to admit that the reason why he couldn't sleep of a night was because of his kill of the Mikaelson's family youngest boy? Did Esther want him to confess that he tries to cover it up with being as kind as he could? Did Esther want him to confess that he—Bodie Erikson, the son of a wolf, was a murderer of a small boy who couldn't defend himself? Because he would, he would admit it to her if it meant she would kill him.

He wanted peace. He wanted to be put at rest. He thought that he was put on this planet to love Klaus Mikaelson, but time and time again it was proven to be incorrect, and it was proven that loving Klaus was just a cause for pain. He didn't know what else to do with his life, he couldn't consider people his brothers because Klaus would find a way to put them against him, he couldn't live a life without needing to come back to pull Klaus out of his dark stages. He couldn't live unless Klaus destroyed everything around him.

He'd taken out the rum, opened it, and gulped down as much as he could before the taste got overwhelming. He wasn't sure if the alcohol was helping him or not, he knew that blood hadn't helped him which probably meant that the alcohol wasn't going to help him at all—but at this point, he tried not to give much of a fuck. What was the point anymore? There was no point in life if he was going to be a murdering bloodsucking hybrid who continually had his heart broken by a guy he couldn't move past.

Bodie almost melted down into his seat, placing his feet across the backs of the seats below him and leaning his head back against the chair he was sat on. The bottle of rum laid on his stomach and his hands buried in his pockets. He hadn't wanted to move, he wasn't sure if he did want to move, he thought about just staying here to rot, but it was too open and he'd rather a room for him to sit alone in. Maybe Katherine Pierce was right to get herself locked in a tomb, it was lonely and meant suffering without being aware of the time that passed within the outside world.

He felt a rush of wind then though he wasn't sure if it was the English wind picking up or if a vampire had found him and demanded that Bodie paid for the lives lost against the Mikaelson's. Bodie couldn't be bothered to open his eyes or acknowledge whoever was there. In fact, he prayed that they'd fuck off and just leave Bodie to wallow in his state for a while longer even though his thoughts would be a reason he might impale himself repeatedly with a wooden stake—it had a similar affect, right?

Though, his prayers were shattered when he heard the slight creak of the seat moving but, yet again, Bodie didn't open his eyes. He hoped that whoever it was would leave, he really couldn't. His heart couldn't take talking to anyone, afraid that if he did, he might break more than what he is at the moment. He couldn't deal with crying in front of someone who's not going to understand anything that he felt.

What shattered his hopes that whoever was near him would leave more was the fact that they'd stolen his bottle of rum from his stomach. Actually, it was the sudden vanishment of his alcohol that made Bodie open his eyes and look around for who stole his alcohol, though the one person that he hadn't expected to see was Klaus standing there with the bottle in hand with his lips pressed together and eyes only just meeting Bodie's harsh glare. He wanted to scream or stab something with a knife he doesn't even have—which defeats the purpose of multiple choices, but Bodie wasn't exactly thinking straight.

He stared at Klaus, not knowing what to do, he wanted to beat the shit out of Klaus for everything that he's done over however long—all the days just seemed to fold into one at this point—though he also wanted to just cry and yell at him in hopes to get it through is thick skull that he couldn't deal with his actions towards him any longer. He wasn't even sure if he had the strength to do anything, he'd felt too hollow and yet felt too much of everything to even utter any words or even raise his fist.

All he could do was just stare at Klaus who seemed to awkwardly stand there waiting for Bodie to say something or do something. And Bodie did want to say something, but he didn't know where to begin. His fear that everything since Klaus' arrival back into his life was just fake, that Klaus had been playing into knowing that Bodie never stopped loving him and using it to his advantage. He knew that Klaus said that he wasn't, but Bodie couldn't help but assume that it was true—and he couldn't help but assume that everything since was fake. That it didn't matter this time around.

He couldn't understand as to why Klaus would want to even do something like this to him, he couldn't wrap his head around as to what made Klaus think that it was even right to manipulate the ones that he cares about the most into making Bodie tell them the secret that he was hiding—a secret that Bodie doesn't know as to why Klaus would be so desperate to know. Maybe it was Klaus' paranoia that made him do it, that Klaus assumed that Bodie knew something that could aid Klaus in something grander than this, but he didn't.

The only things that Bodie was keeping from Klaus was that he was a hybrid—that he had triggered his curse back before being made into an Original—and the fact that he'd killed another which lead to the creation of them. But Bodie didn't see as to how that would help Klaus if anything it would shatter Klaus more than anything, which was why he vowed to himself that he'd never admit any of it not to him and definitely not to any of his siblings.

Bodie shook his head slightly then, straightening himself up while he rose to his feet. "I didn't want to be followed." He reached for his rum, but Klaus moved the hand it was in further from Bodie's reach which also made Bodie step closer to reach for it and again Klaus moved it further away until Bodie was close enough to him to feel the heat from his body and it was the only time that Klaus looked at Bodie, staring at him in the eyes.

"Give it back," Bodie said, though it came out as nothing but a whisper. "Please, K."

"Let me talk to you," Klaus spoke in the same hushed tone, "I just want to talk."

Bodie took a step away from Klaus then, but he refused to break eye contact with him. He couldn't take being another second being so close to him. He sat back down, crossing his arms. "Fine. But if this turns into you trying to pull some weird shit, I'm gonna leave."

Klaus didn't say anything then, he sat down next to Bodie, placing the rum into the cup holder between their seats. Bodie tried to not watch his movements, even if it was tempting. Klaus was silent for a moment as if he were trying to figure out what he wanted to say. He opened his mouth slightly and closed it again a few times and as much as Bodie was trying to be patient with him, he just wanted to leave, he didn't want to be around Klaus at the moment. "I know I fucked up since I came back into your life. And I want to fix that."

Bodie scoffed. "You did more than fuck it up, Niklaus, you ruined it. All of it. Everything that I had, you ruined it."

Bodie watched as Klaus tensed at that, looking down to the floor with his hands joined at his lap. Bodie didn't often use his full name, he'd sometimes use it to make a point or when he was anything but happy with him, but even then, it wasn't often. Klaus' jaw clenched then. "I thought that by doing what I was doing was for the best. I didn't take into account of how it would affect you or who I'd hurt in the process, but I never meant to hurt you at all."

"But you did," Bodie whispered. "And for what? To know what I've been hiding?"

"Yes, because I'm worried about you, Bodie." Klaus said. "Whatever it is, I can tell that it's eating you up and hurting you slowly inside," he turned to face Bodie then, "and I can't deal with you being hurt, knowing that there's nothing that I can do to help you. So, I thought that if I can get either William or Henry to get it out of you with me close by that I might be able to help you move past it."

"Klaus, trust me when I say that you will not be able to help me move past it," Bodie spoke, looking away. "It's something that no one's going to help me move past." He shook his head then.

Klaus paused for a moment. "There's no need to drown out the hope of moving past something that gives you nightmares. Bodie, I want to help you, if you give me a chance. Let me help, my Bo."

"I can't," Bodie's voice broke slightly, though tried to cover it up. Klaus must've heard the slight crack in his voice as he—Klaus—reached over and placed his hand on Bodie's thigh. He wanted to pull away, after everything that Klaus done to him, there was (and probably always will be) something comforting about his touch. He shook his head. "I can't tell you, Klaus. I want to, so desperately, but I can't. It's something I'd rather tell all of you."

Klaus seemed almost unfazed by that though after a quick moment, he nodded. "Okay. I'll let you keep it until I decide to un-dagger them all. But if it's that big of a thing, then why didn't you tell all of us before I started daggering them?"

"Because I was afraid," Bodie responded. "I was afraid of what you all would do to me. But more importantly I was afraid of losing you. And I still am."

"If it's that big of a secret, why hide it for so long? Why make sure that I don't know?" Klaus questioned.

Bodie shook his head. "You don't want to know." He couldn't tell him. He already spoke too much on it, he couldn't say anymore based around it. He didn't want Klaus to figure it out, but he knew that Klaus probably would if he thought too much into it—which Klaus might, but Bodie wasn't sure, he was too caught up in his own worry to even begin to be concerned for what Klaus may or may not figure out. He cleared his throat then. "What else did you come for? Other than to hopefully get my secret out of me?"

Klaus moved in his seat to turn towards Bodie then. "I wanted to tell you that I understand your rage towards me. I know that since me coming back into your life, it's been a mess because of my slight obsession with wanting to know what you choose to hide from me. I wanted to. . ." he paused as if he was trying to find the right word or trying to build up enough courage to say the word, "apologise. I wanted to apologise to you. For my actions. For compelling your brothers and for breaking your trust. I know that you just wanted to help me, and I should have let you rather than pushing you away."

"Is this real?" Bodie asked. He was surprised to hear that Klaus was apologising to him. Klaus was actually apologising, it seemed unreal that he would. "Are you actually apologising to me?" He looked round then, a part of him half expected to see Elijah somewhere giving Klaus a stern look from afar or something.

Klaus grabbed Bodie's cheeks so that Bodie's head was in his hands. "I'm being serious, Bodie. This is serious. I need you back if you will take me." His hands dropped slightly before joining at the arm rest.

"I will only take you, if you promise me three things," Bodie said. "One, not doing any of this bullshit to me again. Two, not using me for your own personal gain and for this to be real. And three, no compelling of either of the Woodfords."

Klaus smiled, a small, cute smile. "I promise you, my Bodie Erikson."

"Good." Bodie moved in quickly, placing a small kiss on Klaus' lips then. "You're still going to have to work for my forgiveness, though."

Klaus pouted, narrowing his eyes at Bodie. Klaus hoped that he salvaged enough, that his apology meant something to Bodie, enough that it allowed them to move forward as—hopefully—one. He feared that he almost lost Bodie because of his stupid, yet somewhat reasonable (or what he thought to be reasonable) actions. He needed Bodie. More than what he admits to himself. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if he lost Bodie because of what he done—if it was anyone else, he wouldn't care, but it was his Bodie. His light. His everything. The one that helped bring him comfort when Bodie didn't realise that he did.