Chapter Thirty Two

The hardest, saddest, heartbreaking day I dreaded for two days finally arrives; Lily's funeral. The day she died, I was denial. She couldn't actually be gone. She wasn't gone and this was all just a horrible nightmare I needed to wake up from. I was still dreaming and when I open my eyes, she would be right beside me.

She wasn't gone.

I kept telling myself for that for two long days but when I saw them bring in the funeral flowers and her picture, it finally crashed into me. My heart broke again and I lost myself.

I went absolutely crazy and I started to wreck whatever I could get my hands on. I broke vases, I knocked down picture frames. I destroyed everything I could touch.

And in my rampage, I didn't noticed the crowd that form to witness their deranged princess. One of the maids tried to touch me, to calm me down, but I ignored her and pulled my arm away from her hand.

"It's not okay!" I yelled. "Don't tell it will be because it not! It's never going to be okay!"

I was losing it and there was nothing they could do about it but watch me lose my sanity. Then before I could wreak anything else, he stopped me. He restrained my hands.

"She's gone." He told me, softly. "And she's not coming back, Millie."

I shook my head. "No, you're wrong. She isn't gone. This is just a dream any second now, I'm going to wake up."

He stared at me with sad eyes. "I wish it was a dream, Millie but you're not dreaming. Lily is dead."

Hearing those words coming out his mouth, I completely froze as the tears fell down my face. He pulled me towards his body as I cried and cried.

He took me to my room and I laid in my bed, thinking about her. He never left me alone. He watched over me, scared that if I were left by myself, I might go into my dark place. Little did know, I was already in it.

He was the light that never flickered. It stayed stronger even when the darkness threatened to erase it but even he wasn't powerful enough to overcome this. His light began to fade and I watched it, disappear.

His anchor to keep my above my own deadly waters, broke against the waves and I allowed myself to sink into the dark waters. There was no hope for now me.

She was gone and there was nothing I could do to bring her back.

Lucas came to visit me and we sat in complete silence as we grieved over the girl who was our sun. Even though there was no words exchanged between us, we knew how each other felt. He lost the love of us life and I lost my sister, my twin, my best friend.

Lily was his light and now that's she gone, he was in the same dark, lonely place as I was. Then Reid showed up to my room and joined our grieving party.

He knew her longer than anyone in this room. He grew up with her. He listened to her favorite boy band and became her best friend other than her protector.

We each shared a different bond with her and now we all shared the same pain. She was taken from our lives all too soon.

We listened to all five albums of One Direction thinking about the girl who was crazy about them and when the last song finished, they left. But before Reid walked out, he turned to me and looked me into my eyes.

"You know I would've traded my life for hers." He said with tears still in his eyes. "It was my job to keep her safe and I failed her. She trusted me with her life and I watched her die. And I can't say sorry enough."

If I knew that was be the last time I saw him, I would've said something, did something but I didn't and because of that he left the mansion without saying anything to anyone. He just left.

A knock at the door, brings me back to reality.

"Princess Millian?" A feminine voice says. "Are you ready?"

No. I think.

I will never be ready to say goodbye for good. It took the whole summer to finally let my adoptive family go.

"I'm coming." I reply.

I look into the mirror, straightening my black dress. I fix my hair before walking out my room. Lily's funeral is being held in the biggest room that can hold everyone.

I sit in the front beside Abe and everyone else sits behind us. I look at the picture Lucas picked out for the portrait. The picture was taken back in London. The sun was shining down on her as she smiles, warmly. In the background, is a green shrubs with or white hydrangeas.

Reid must've taken the picture. It's a beautiful one.

I look away from it and to the empty casket. Since, her body transformed into a bright orbit, her soul, we couldn't be anything in it beside her favorite things. Her pantings, her favorite books, her favorite color and favorite music. Things that represented her. That described her personality.

The funeral begins and Jessie, her first guardian, her adoptive father, walks onto the stage. He adjust he mic before speaking.

"We're gathered her because we lost a wonderful, bright, loving, caring young woman. Our princess. I had the greatest honor to became her second father here on Earth. I watched her grow from a scared, shy little girl to a brilliant, funny, courageous woman. Even though she was my assignment to keep safe, I didn't think about her as anything else but my daughter." He clears his throats as it gets harder for him to speak. "Excuse me. Lily was always special. She was my sunshine." He smiles a little. " And I'm so glad I got the privilege to know her."

He speaks more about Lily and tells us a few stories about her childhood. It all revolved around a certain band. Then he offers the floor to anyone who wanted to say a few words about her. Danielle goes up first and then Laura, followed by Lucas.

They each had their own thought about Lily but it was all the same in the end. She was the better person they ever met and they will never forget her. Then after, the ones who made a speech about Lily, the power slide begins. The slow, music begins in the background as it starts with a picture of Lily as a baby. As it continues, it shows the different ages of Lily. She went from hiding herself from the camera to not looking directly at camera to finally becoming confident as she smiles right at the camera.

She was either painting, reading or dancing. I told myself earlier I wouldn't cry anymore but I failed. The tears silently slides down my cheek and I don't bother to wipe them away.

Then it ends and Jessie goes back up to the stage. He introduces me and I raise from my seat and walk up the few stairs that leads to the top of the stage. I take the mic of the stand and put it onto the stand connected to my piano.

Years ago, thirteen to be precise, Abe wrote a song for his wife, our mother, Allison. He sang it at her funeral and for some reason I felt like I had to do the same thing.

So, last night, I worked on making Lily's song perfect. I wanted every note and every word to be perfect because she deserves nothing but the very best. The song is about everything she had done for not only me but Reid, Lucas and Hayes as well. Because she was an angel, she flew home.

I place my hands on the keys, getting ready to press down on them. After taking a deep breath to collect myself, I begin to play.

"I fought for you the hardest. It made me the strongest. So tell me your secrets. I just can't stand to see you leaving." I sing. "But Heaven couldn't wait for you. No, Heaven couldn't wait for you. No! Heaven couldn't wait for you. Heaven couldn't wait for you. So go on, go home."

There's a small instrumental break before the second verse begins and I hum, softly.

"We laughed at the darkness. So scared that we lost it. We stood on the ceiling. You showed me love was all you needed. No, Heaven couldn't wait for you. No, Heaven couldn't wait for you. No! Heaven couldn't wait for you. No, Heaven couldn't wait for you. So go on, go home."

I repeat the chorus again one more time, my voice wafering as I get emotional, before ending it, lowly.

"So go on, go home. So go on, go home."

I play the finals keys and then it's over. No claps and I don't expect them to. I stand up and walk over the stage. I sit back down and the funeral comes to an end. Everyone comes over to us in a line giving their condolences. I don't say anything but simply nod my heads at them. Abe's does all the speaking for the both of us.

Each by one, they walk past us giving their sympathy but I can't bring myself to listen to other word anymore.

It reminds of the day I woke up in the hospital a year ago, only to learn I've been in a horrible accident that should've killed me. I should've been died but I wasn't and they were. Another person killed because he was trying to his job of protecting me and giving me a chance at a normal life.

He did yet he died along with Jen and Ryan, my adoptive mother and brother. They didn't even know what secrets David was keeping from them. They knew nothing and maybe that was best for them. They never should've been involved in my life in the first place. It wasn't fair to them to pick Jen and ruin her life. If she never knew about us, then she still would've been alive. She could've been anywhere on this planet, living a carefree, happy, life but then Ryan wouldn't have been born.

And that wasn't acceptable. The world deserved a Ryan Collins. It would be too dull without him. Just like it is now without him living it. David meeting Jen might've been the best and worst mistake he ever made.

It was a best mistake because I met Teri and made a lot of memories with her. I fell in love with Jason Shaws. Or I thought I fell in love with him. He showed me that wasn't love and because of him, I found love with Hayes. I have to thank him for breaking my heart and for putting Hayes into my life to heal it.

If I would've met Hayes in any other way, I don't think I would've fell in love with him and he would still be a player. He would've been my guardian I hated because of the way he used girls for his own needs and desires.

Sophie and Kyle wouldn't have any reasons to kidnap and torture me, either. And my life wouldn't be the way it is now. Everything would've been completely different.

It was the worst mistake because they all died in a car crash because of me. It was always my fault. My mother died protecting our lives and Lily died saving mine. Everyone's slowly dying around me and I can't help but to wonder who will be next. Who else would die because of me? Whose life it's in my hands?

Millions of them.

That's the answer. There's millions of lives resting on my shoulders. They're depending on someone they don't even know exist to save their lives they don't even know is in danger. And they're in danger because I couldn't finish my task. I couldn't kill him. I waited too long to make my move. I didn't attack first and because of that he got away and Lily died because of that. Because I let him get to me and distract me from the plan, he got away.

I can never forgive myself for that and I shouldn't. Too many deaths happened because of me and I deserve to feel this way for the rest of my life.

"If you need me, I'll be in my room." I tell no one in particular.

I walk out the room and head for my own. I keep my eyes down to the ground because I don't want to see anymore pity face. I don't deserve them. I make it to my room and shut the door. I kick my flats out before curling into a ball on my bed, letting the tears fall.

I begin to think about every moment I had with Lily. The first time I seen her, thirteen years later, in one of us connections. I thought it was just a strange dream but then I saw her again. We didn't know at the time, we were related or we were destined for something much greater than we knew.

All we knew was, we had to figure out why we were getting those weird, confusing dreams. It didn't make sense to us but when we were together the pieces starting to come together.

Then I met her in person when I tried to spy on Hayes and she saved me from getting caught. She came to California and ever since that night, our lives were never the same again.

Then over the course of two weeks, we got closer, somehow. We bonded without the bond being there yet. We weren't strangers anymore and I thought of her as my sister very quickly even after I denied us being related.

It goes to me accusing her of liking someone at our school and she finally admitted to it being Lucas. It didn't take them long at all to fall in love. Then all the times we had in Guardian Lynn's class and how helpful she had been with me dealing with Hayes.

She become my best friend and a short amount of time. It was like I never separated from her in the first place. I think about the Halloween Bash and the our birthday party. She made me a slideshow while I sang to her. That's when we clearly felt how powerful our bond truly was.

Then it goes to the horrible memories. The times she warned me about someone hurting me and I ignored her. And that's exactly what happened. I got hurt and in the process so did she and I didn't do anything about it. But when she was hurting me, she sacrificed herself for me. She gave up her life to save mine.

I think about that thought for four hours before it hits me.

No! That's it!

I get up from my bed, determined. I won't sit here, moping around, doing nothing but feeing miserable. I can't do that anymore. Especially not when he's roaming the earth getting more powerful as the days goes on. He's not winning anymore. He doesn't get the last laugh. Not this time. I failed Lily once and I won't do that again.

I walk over to my closet stripping out the dress. I fling it to the side and I grab a black comfortable shirt and black skinny jeans. I put them on before putting the black leather jacket on. I reach for the combat boots and slip my feet inside them.

I put my hair into a high ponytail before grabbing a backpack. I pack a few things I needed and walk out my door. I have to be sneaky about this. I don't want anyone to see me in the hallways. I want them to still believe I'm still in my room, wanting to be left alone.

I need two more important things before I can leave. My weapon and money. They're going to be the hardest to get because they're in Abe's office and I have no idea if he's in there right now. Abe thought it would better if the weapons were return to their original places because he didn't want anyone accidentally seeing them. So, he locked them away again.

I decide to risk and go to his office anywhere. I need my weapon. I slowly open the door and stick my head inside to see if it's empty. It is and after looking back into the hallway to make sure no one saw me, I enter the office fully. I shut the door and work quickly. I go behind the desk and press the same button I discover three days ago. I get burned again but it's quickly forgotten as the drawers lifts up.

I reach for the bow and arrows. I place them inside the bag and look at Lily's sword. I hesitate for a second before grabbing it also. I pack it and search for the money. It takes me a minute to find but when I do, I take a few rolls.

Once I have everything I need, I sneak out the office and head for the back doors. I'm cautious of the guardians in the back, on patrol, and I'm lucky the sun set an hour ago. That would've make it next to impossible to escape.

Instead of taking the SUV again, which would've drawn too much attention and I don't want that I opt for walking straight to the guard by the front gate.

He's different from the last one. He stops me, frowning in confusion.

"What are you doing out here, Princess Millian?" He asks. "It isn't safe for you. Go back inside."

"I can't do that and you're going to let me out that gate."

He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I'm not authorized to do that."

"Okay, let's try this again." I reply, looking him in his eyes. "You are going to let me walk out those gates and you will forget this moment ever happened. You will not remember that I left. You never saw me." I compel him.

"I never saw you." He repeats.

"Good. Now open the gate, close it behind me and walk away."

He nods before hitting the button that opens the gate. I walk out them, moving quickly before the other guardians on patrol sees what's happening. As soon as I put as much distance I think it's enough between me and the mansion, I stop running and begin to walk.

I have no clue where to start but there's only so many places you can hide a hundred and twenty feet monster made out of lava and rocks. I will find him or Ramadi. Whichever one I come across first, it's the one I'm going to kill.

I'm finishing what was started.