Chapter Nine

After dinner, I go to the music room and prepare myself. The last time I attempted to sing, I had a breakdown. I cried and I didn't tell Hayes about it.

When I was singing, the words had hit a soft part. Mr. Dean was right. It was the song that had that affect on me but it was true. I wasn't very steady at all during my weakest moment and I'm probably still not.

Yet, I owe it to Hayes to let him know how important he is to me. He played an enormous role in my healing process when I lost my adoptive family last year and my recent days. Saying thank you, isn't enough for him. He deserve much more and this song is just half of it.

I hear his footsteps as he approaches the piano. I turn to face him.

"I know why you didn't tell me." I start. "but that's still not an excuse for me for forgetting."

He arches an eyebrow. "Tell you what?"

"January sixth was a week ago. The day of the trial but more importantly it was your birthday." I look down. "I feel terrible for forgetting about it because you didn't forgot mine. Instead you were working on composing a beautiful song that I love so much."

He moves closer to me and grabs my hand. "Don't feel terrible. You had every reason not to remember it and I'm not hurt or upset you didn't remember. You were going through something more serious than my birthday." He attempts to comfort me.

I glance up at him. "It shouldn't have mattered and I'm sorry."

"If I was truly upset you, don't you think I would've said something?" He asks with a little grin.

I shrug. "I don't know. Maybe."

"I'm hurt you don't know me better." He jokes.

I smile. "There's a few things, I still don't know about you."

"Ask and I'll tell you."

"I will." I promise. "But first, it's time for your gift."

I stand up and lead him over to the studio. I guide him to a chair and kiss his cheek before pressing a small button that starts the music. I walk inside the studio and I can see him grinning as he sits with his arms crossed.

I take a deep breath before letting it out. You can do this. I encourage myself. Focus on Hayes. Nothing else matters.

I lock eyes with Hayes and focus on his grey eyes as I listen to the soft keys of the piano play.

When tomorrow comes
I'll be on my own
Feeling frightened of
The things I don't know
When tomorrow comes
Tomorrow comes
When tomorrow comes

And through the road is long
I look up at the sky
And in the dark I found
I lost hope I won't fly
And I sing along, I sing along, then I sing along

The drums joins in and I put more emotions in the next verse.

I got all I need when I got you and I
I look around me and see a sweet life
I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight
You're getting me, getting me through the night
Kick start my heart when you're shining in my eyes
I can't lie, it's a sweet life
I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight
You're getting me, getting me through the night
Cause you're my flashlight
Cause you're my flashlight, my flashlight

The drums dies down, only playing softly and allows the piano to takeover.

I see the shadows long beneath the mountain top
I'm not afraid when the rain won't stop
Cause you light the way
You light the way, you light the way

I sing the chorus a few more times and then the music fades out. I exit the studio and Hayes immediately pulls me into a tight hug.

"I'll take it you, you liked it." I say, smiling.

"Liked it?" He repeated, leaning back. "I'm surprised you think of me as your beacon of hope. It's an honor. Thank you for that."

"You deserve it. You done so much for me." I tell him. "Not only for me but for Lily and Abe as well. I've been thinking about having something for all guardians. Like showing them how grateful we are to have them, to have you."

"I know why you feel the need to honor us but it isn't necessary. We knew what we were getting ourselves into when we signed up. We knew the risks we would be taking and we still signed our lives away."

"That's the point." I say. "You're risking your life for us and you deserve some kind of recognition for all the hard work you went through and will go through."

"You only get recognition in one way and I don't intend for that happen any time soon." He tells me with a hint of sadness in his grey eyes.

"And what's that?" I ask, confused.

I don't think he wants to tell me but he still opens his mouth to speak only to but interrupt by another person, who knocks on the door, waiting for the words the enter.

"Come in." I tell them.

The person does and it's a guardian. He stands by the door not coming in any farther. He greets me with a small bow.

"Princess Millian." He simply says before looking at Hayes. "Guardian Cipriano we are in need of your help."

Hayes nods. "Alright. I'll be out there soon."

The guard leaves and I glance at Hayes. "What does he need your help with?"

"It could be anything." He replies. "He probably just needs help with the rookies. I'll be in your room later, okay?"

I nod. "Okay."

He bends down to kiss my forehead before he walks out the room. I don't move for a few seconds then I go over to the sound machine and turn it off. I sit on the couch, wondering what Hayes was going to say before we were interrupted. Whatever it was, it didn't sound like a good thing.

I leave the music room five minutes later and head to my room. I go into the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. After I have my pajamas on, I sit in the middle of bed, looking at my song book.

I glance up when my door opens and Lily walks in.

"I have something big to tell you." She says as she comes to sit on my bed.

"Did you lose your virginity?" I joke, smiling but when she grows quiet, my eyes widens. "You did, didn't you?" I accuse her. "When?"

"That's not what I have to tell you." She says. "It's about you."

"You have to tell me everything."

She blushes, lightly. "Not right now." She tells me. "Maybe later."

"Okay, okay. What do you have to tell me?" I ask, changing to topic.

"I had a vision and you're gonna have three new love interest."

I cock an eyebrow. "Three love interest?" I repeat.

She nods. "I'm not sure who they are but they don't go to our school."

"What do they look like?"

"Um, that's kinda hard to say. I didn't see their faces, only yours and there's one more thing."

"What?"

"They each had a marriage ring."

I'm beyond confused and shocked. "Are you sure this was a vision?"

She nods. "Absolutely. Why would I want you to find someone else to marriage when you have Hayes?"

I shrug. "I don't know. I just don't get it that's all."

Why do I have three suitors proposing to me? It doesn't make any sense to me. Especially since we don't even know who they are.

"I wish I could have more information." Lily sighs.

"Do you know when it'll happen?"

She shakes her head. "I don't but it seems like it'll be soon."

How soon is soon? Like a couple of days from now? A week? A month? I need a time frame of when this is going to happen to prepare or try to stop it. I mean I can ask Abe about it but I don't see how much help that will be. He wouldn't bring three complete strangers to where we are. It'll defeat to whole purpose of keeping our location a secret from the whole world. I decide to forget about it. I don't think I need to worry too much about something as stupid three marriage proposals. It won't happen.

"So," I start, looking at Lily. "Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Lucas?"

She looks like she doesn't want to tell me but she knows I won't stop bugging her about it until she tells me.

She sighs. "Okay. Fine. Do you remember that night of that breast cancer awareness performance? When we were in the car?"

That was also the night we were ambushed but I know she's referring to the moment after the performance. She had something important to tell me.

I nod. "Yeah. You said something about having this strange vision. You weren't sure what it was but it had something to do with you."

"Well, that's what I saw. I didn't know it was me and Lucas." She blushes again. "I didn't even think about losing my virginity. It never crossed my mind."

I thought about it once or twice with Hayes but things changed and I didn't want to think about it ever again.

"When did it happened?"

"Like a week before we were kidnapped." She replies.

I think back to that week. I try to remember if I had see any changes between them, if I had seen any glowing but I can't think of anything and that's because of one thing.

"So while I was receiving threatening notes, you and Lucas were having-"

"Ahhh." She interrupts me. "It was only one time."

I smile. "Wait until I see Lucas."

"No. Please don't say anything to him." She begs. "I told him I wouldn't tell anyone."

I understand why she didn't want anyone to know. Lucas and Lily are already on thin ice. Lucas is going to be a guardian soon and he won't be able to date Lily anymore once he graduates. Unless, they're like Hayes and me and keep it a secret. If Abe finds out Lucas slept with Lily, who knows what can happen.

"I won't say anything." I promise. "But what if Reid finds out?"

"I kept it from him for this long." She says. "If he somehow does find out, then Lucas is practically dead. Reid would murdered him."

"I'll like to see the day Reid and Lucas fight."

She gives me a stern look. "This isn't funny, Millie."

"I know, I know." I say. "I'm sorry. Your secret is safe with me. I mean I'm no better than you. I've been dating Hayes, my forbidden guardian, for awhile now."

I guess it hasn't been awhile when I think about it. It started off as a stupid game, a bet but the feelings began to develop for the both of us. I started dating him in July then at the end of August he broke up with me without any explanation. I was hurt and confused as to why he called things off when everything was going so well between us. Except for the biggest secret he kept from me. I don't know if they thought Lily and I were so stupid that we wouldn't be able to figure it out but they should've never kept in the dark. It's our lives that's in danger and even after they explained everything to us, I still think we shouldn't have been separated for all these years. It's dumb actually and so many bad things happened because of that.

But maybe Abe saw something far worse than he was letting on. He lost his wife and I think he still blames himself for that. Maybe separating us was the only way he thought he could protect us at the same time give us as much of a normal life as possible.

Going back to Hayes and me, we didn't begin to date again until the beginning of December. Once he wrote me that letter that made me realize how much I truly love him. He was going to leave because of me and it was only fair that I was the one to fix it. I stopped him from leaving and allowed him to explained everything to me.

I could understand why he couldn't tell me why we were forbidden during the summer because then he'd had to explain my hidden life and obviously he wasn't going to do that. He's only option was to break up me when Abe arrived. His job was to help me be myself again for Abe's sake and I was myself making Hayes' job complete.

So, we had maybe a solid two months together but it feels longer than that. During those months we weren't together, we still had feelings for one another that we tried to ignore and ended up failing even though our feelings were never on the same level.

At the beginning, I tried to make Hayes see that he was wrong and he still loved me when he said he didn't anymore. I tried to make him see how wrong he was but it was like I was getting nowhere and it frustrated me. I soon gave up and believed him when he said it was just a fling. During that time, he tried to tell him side of story but I didn't want to listen to him because he made me sound like another girl on his check list which I guess I was at the time.

He wanted us to be friends and I couldn't accept that. I wouldn't accept that. He wanted me to move on and that night when I performed at the bash, I did and he slowly started to realize he was wrong but it was too late. I already moved on and put him in the past.

Then, I saw what the future held. I saw Tartarus and that day in my room, I kissed him like an idiot. That made things even more complicated than they already were. After that, feelings were revealed and explained.

"If Abe ever found out what his two daughters were doing behind his back, he'd a heart attack."

"Let's pray he doesn't find out." I say and Lily nods in agreement.

We talk for a few more minutes before she goes to her room. Once she's gone, I finally let my true emotions out. I know it started out as teasing but when Lily told me it true, I couldn't help but feel sad. I didn't want her to feel what I was feeling because that was a special moment in her life. Even though she didn't actually say it, I knew she was happy that it had happened with Lucas.

I'm sad because she had a romantic moment with the person she loved wholeheartedly and I didn't and I never will. My special moment was taken from me and I'll never get it back. Now, I can never get rid of that image, his touches, any of it. He ruined it all for me and I can never experience it in the way I had image. I barely can handle Hayes touching me in certain places. I don't think I could handle going that far without doing any damage to myself or hurting his feelings.

I know Hayes doesn't care about any of that, just me, but sooner or later he won't be able to take it anymore. He was player and he openly admitted to that. He told me, he wasn't anymore and I should believe him. He hasn't given me any reasons not to and I just think I'm overthinking everything like I always do.

I move my song book off my lap and sit it on the small dresser next to my bed. I glance at the clock and see I have a few more hour before Hayes will arrive.

I can't keep depending on for sleep. He wasn't getting much sleep because of me. I can see it in his eyes. The same dark circles I had under my eyes not too long ago now appear on him. I'm being selfish. I told myself, I was going to be myself after being unrecognizable for two weeks but here I am, keeping Hayes from getting his sleep.

It's bad enough he has to wake up early as it is but staying with me, he has to get up even earlier so he won't get caught. If I were to bring it up to him, he would say it didn't matter and he was fine. But it does matter and he isn't fine.

So when he comes to my room, I tell him what I've been thinking and he says what I knew he would say.

"Hayes, I'll be fine." I say. "I know you're exhausted and it's because of me. You stay up, watching me, to make sure I'm okay."

"It's not problem, Millie. I'm your protector. It's in my job description to watch you."

"I'm asking you." I shake my head. "No, I'm ordering you, to sleep in your own room and bed."

He smirks a little. "Whatever you say, Princess."

Again with the royalty title. At least he didn't bow this time.

I frown. "What are you doing?" I ask when he doesn't head for the door but makes himself comfortable in my bed on the side he took over.

"I'll listen to you." He says. "But not tonight. Tomorrow."

I eye him, not quite believing him.

"I promise." He swears. "Now, come here. Let's go to sleep."

I move closer to him and rest my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Savoring the sound because it'll be awhile before I hear it again. I close my eyes as Hayes wraps him arm around me. The warmth surrounds me and I fall asleep as he kiss my head, softly.