Chapter 45: Overdose

♪Love is a sickness, an addiction, overdose
It's harder to control as time goes by
I'm falling deeper into her
Oh too much, it's you, your love, this is overdose

Calvix's POV

"C-Calvix?"

"Nasurprise ba kita?" Nakangiti kong bungad sa kanya, "Hindi mo ba man lang ako papapasukin sa loob ng new condo mo?" Yes, she moved out.

"P-Paano mo ---"

I give her a kiss, a peck one. The reason why she blushed, "Of course I should know where my girlfriend lives. Now, can I come in?"

She smiled, "Of course my boyfriend can come in."

**

Naka-upo kami ngayon sa sofa. Magkakapit kamay at magkayakap sa isa't isa. Kanina ko pa din pinipisil pisil ang kamay nya, "Mahal na mahal kita Janelle." I whispered on her ears.

I heard her chuckled. She cupped my cheek and smiled. Then, her thumb caressed my lower lip slowly, "I lo ---"

♫I said, "Oh my, what a marvelous tune
It was the best night, never would forget how we moved...

Muntik na kaming mapabalikwas ng upo dahil sa pagtunog ng cellphone ni Janelle. Parehas kaming nakaramdaman takot at kaba. Nagkatitigan muna kaming dalawa bago ito lumakad sa direksyon kung nasaan ang cellphone nito.

♫Like we're made of starlight
Like we're made of starlight

"H-Hello?" Tumalikod ito sa akin at pinagpatuloy ang pakikipag-usap dito.

"A-Andrei?" Binalik nito ang tingin sa akin na nanlaki ang dalawang mata. Samantalang ako, relax na relax pa rin na naka-upo sa may sofa. It's been 2 weeks since we've been sneaking around like this. Not talking and acted like a stranger in school. But, if it's just the two of us. We acted like a married couple. And yes, it's been 2 weeks since we've been cheating on him, on my own cousin.

"A-Ano? Papunta ka d-dito?" Kaagad akong napatayo sa kinauupuan ko.

"Ah. Oh sige bye." Kinuha ko ang bag ko at dali-daling nilagay ito sa likod ko, "I should go." Paalam ko sa kanya. Hinalikan ko na rin sya sa noo. Pagkatapos ay dinikit ko ang noo ko sa noo nya, "Text me if he'll be here at night. If not, I'll be staying here."

Pagkatapos ay kaagad na akong lumabas ng unit ni Janelle. Nag-iingat akong sumakay sa elevator at naging mapagmatyag sa mga tao na nadaan. Hindi pa ko handang malaman ni Andrei, ang pinsan ko, ang kasalanang ginagawa namin sa kanya. Masyado kong mahal si Janelle para ibigay sa kanya ang babaeng mahal ko. Kahit alam kong mali ang desisyon ko, ginawa ko pa din. Kung ito nalang ang paraan para makasama ko sya, gagawin ko.

*

"Janelle, I think I can't do this anymore." Napatingala ang nakatungo nyang mukha kanina. Andito kami ngayon sa stock room. Hinawakan ko ang kamay nya, "Guilt kills me. I don't want to be the second option Janelle. I can't stand the thought of my cousin hurting because of me."

"Tingin mo ba Calvix hindi ako nahihirapan sa sitwasyon natin?! Ako tong naiipit! I'm the two timer here!" Her voice almost cracked.

Niyakap ko sya, "Just break up with him and be with me."

**

"Janelle..."

Tumakbo sya papunta sa akin, "Say everything you want to say. Hindi ako pwedeng magtagal. Inaantay ako ni Andrei sa ----"

Kaagad ko syang niyakap, "Hindi ko na kaya Janelle. Ang sakit sakit na. What if Andrei finds out? Nasira na ang pagkakaibigan namin. Ayoko naman na pagiging mag-pinsan masira na. Please Janelle. If you love me, break up with him. He'll understand you."

Binalikan nya ang yakap ko, "Hindi ganoon kadali yun Calvix. You know I can't break up with him. Sya yung andyan noong mga panahong wala ka. How can I break up with the guy who loves me so much?" Lumayo ako sa kanya at hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi.

"I'll make you happy. I'll protect you. I'll love you more than he loves you. Please don't go with him. Stay with me."

"I love you. But I can't leave him."

I pulled her close to mine and kissed her nape, "Then I have no choice. I'll wait for you."

I can't handle this! Guilt kills me! I love Janelle so much. Habang natagal, ako na rin tong nasasaktan sa ako ang mismong nag-desisyon. Nakikita ko kung paano unti-unting nanlalamig si Janelle kay Andrei. No sweetness, no kisses, and even hugging, just held hands. Tuwing makikita ko sila, nasasaktan ako. Pero, anong magagawa ko? I'm the third party here.

**

(Jagiya! Bogoshipda!) Napangiti ako ng makita ng mukha ni Janelle. Eto kami, nagvivideo call.

[Baby! I miss you!]

"No mu bo go ship da. Jeongmal."

[I miss you so much. Really.]

(Baka naman pinagpalit mo na ko kaagad ha?! Yari ka sa kin tamo!) Napangiti nalang ako. Andito kasi kami ng family ko sa Cebu. Birthday kasi ni Nathalie and we planned to have a vacation. Sana nga sinama ko nalang sya para hindi ako nahihirapan ng ganito. We're staying here for a week.

(Mamaya may nakita ka lang na mas maganda at sexy sa kin!) She's now being a possessive girlfriend nowadays, and I love it.

(Ay nako! Susugod talaga ako dyan!) She laughed, (Basta! Be a good boy! I trust you, okay?!)

"You know it's only you."

(Talaga? Ako lang?)

"It's only you Janelle. Only you. I love you." Nakita ko ang malawak na ngiti nya.

(Na do saranghaeyo Calvix.)

[I love you too Calvix.]

*TOKTOK*

"Anak, naiinip na si Nathalie." Katok ni Dad.

"Janelle, I have to go. I love you. Don't cheat on me, okay?!"

She smiled, (I won't. I love you.)

(Bye!)

"Who's that?" Umupo si Dad sa side ng kama ko.

"My girlfriend." Nakangiti kong sagot dito. Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo sa kama at inayos ang mga gamit na dadalhin ko. Ipinatong ko naman ang Korean Dictionary ko sa ibabaw ng mga damit ko. Talagang pinagaaralan ko to dahil kailangan namin to ni Janelle para makapag-usap kami minsan ng wala masyadong tao ang nakakaintindi sa aming dalawa.

"That voice is familiar. And I know it's Janelle." I stunned for a seconds, "She's Andrei's girlfriend. Are you the third party here now, son?"

I took a deep breath and faced him, "I don't care. I love her Dad. I love her to the point I can hurt my own cousin."

**

I started to strummed my guitar,

♪Game that I used to play

So hard to be okay

Oh, I made a big mistake

This feeling that can never fake.

♪Once I've been inlove

This feeling that I've never had

I'd never thought that it would last

Now, I can't love you from afar...

Now, I can't love you from afar...

Chorus:

♪I'm sorry for the things I've done

Now, I love you, you can't be gone

It hurts and almost tear me apart

I'm here with you wherever you are

I can't let you go...

I can't let you go...

Napa-ngiti nalang ako. Wala pang Verse 2. Pag-iisipan ko muna. Balak kong kantahin ito kay Janelle pag natapos ko na. Muli kong sinara ang notebook ko at nilagay itong muli sa maleta ko. Ngayon na ang balik namin ng Manila. Sa buong linggo na halos wala akong magawa dito ay nag-sulat nalang ako ng kanta. Hiniram ko nga lang kay Terrence iyong guitar. Si Terrence ay ang bestfriend ng kapatid ko. Yes, he's a guy. Pustahan, madedevelop sila sa isa't isa!

--

Pagdating ko palang sa Manila ay kaagad akong dumiretso sa condo ni Janelle. Masyado ko syang namiss, sobra sobra.

"Calvix?"

Kaagad akong pumasok sa loob at agad syang niyakap, "I miss you. I fvcking miss you." I hugged her more tighter.

"Mas namiss kita Calvix."

**

Napagdesisyunan kong dito muna ako makitulog. Ang sabi ni Janelle wala daw si Andrei dahil kasama daw nito si Tito Dave sa may Batangas. Sa pagkakaalam ko, Andrei is now being trained by his Dad, Tito Dave, dahil after 2 or 4 years, Andrei would be handling their companies. Nabanggit sa akin ni Dad ito noong birthday ni Nathalie. He wants me too trained too. Ang sabi ko, sa summer na nalang. O kaya naman wag na dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na kaya ko naman ito. Pero, alam kong mahirap ang mag-handle ng madami naming kumpanya kaya siguro ay kailangan ko din ang mag-training.

I rested my head on her lap, "Andrei texted me... He wants me to skype with him this night."

Bumangon ako, "No. Told him that you're busy."

"W-Why?"

I held her hand, "I said no, okay? This night, it's just me and you."

"B-But ---"

"No more buts Janelle. I've gone for 1 week. He's been with you these past few days. Isn't that enough? Just this night. Forget about him."

♫ I said, "Oh my, what a marvelous tune

Napalingon kaming dalawa sa cellphone nya na nakapatong lang sa katabing lamesa namin. Inabot nya ito at tiningnan kung sino ang natawag, "It's Andrei. If I can't be skype with him. I guess I can answered his calls though."

♫ I met Bobby on the boardwalk, summer of '45

"No."

"Why not? I'll answered his call and tell him that I can't skype with him. That's all."

"I'd still say no."

♫ We were seventeen and crazy, running wild, wild

"You're being too selfish Calvix. I don't like it."

"And I don't like the way you're with me and you're attention is with him."

♫ Can't remember what song it was playing when we walked in

"Stop this. I'll answer it ----!"

I pulled her close to mine and kissed her, a passionate one.

No Janelle. You're attention is with me right now, not with his.

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