A/N: I forgot to mention this but the picture here will be which form Kiseki is in, in each chapter!

Recap~

I smiled up at him as I let go of his hand and, in that moment, I didn't care that I might've gotten sick from the cold rain, I didn't care if the titans were still out in the world to eat us, I didn't care that Levi and everyone else will die before me because I was immortal. I just simply didn't care in that moment because...

I wanted it to last forever for Levi was the closest family member that I could ever had and ever will have.

Chapter Nine~ 1726 Words

Today's the day. The day where it all changed. Today, the gates of the Trost District will fall at the hands of the Colossal Titan but soon be rise again because of the efforts of the Rogue Titan AKA Eren's Titan.

I took a deep breath in, nervous at the fact that so much is riding on me not fucking up, and boy would it be hard not to. There's so much pressure now that today has come.

Right now, we were 'going on the 56th expedition outside the walls'. I made it so as soon as we left the gates, the Special Operations Squad (including me since I was placed in that squad as well) we to use our 3DMG to go back inside the walls and go straight to Wall Rose. We were only to make a move if it was deemed necessary by the captain: Levi.

"There's nothing to be nervous about." Comforted Petra who was holding the reins of her her dark brown horse; Pepper (It was never mentioned what their horses names was so... I just chose a random name).

Petra and I have become the best of friends over the two years I've known her; I consider her my best friend. I've never had a best friend before, mostly because no one ever wanted to become friends me. I knew the reason why though. GOPE have become something a little bit like family to me, but not as close as Levi is to me; they're sorta like cousins, I guess.

Technically, I consider almost everyone my family, it just depends how close they are to me. For example; Levi is my older brother, Hanji is my mom, Erwin is my dad and GOPE are my cousins.

The only people I really hang around the most are Erwin, Hanji, GOPE, and, of course, Levi. I haven't really hung around anyone else other than that but that doesn't mean I haven't tried; everyone else is either afraid or disgusted of me. Mostly because I act like a crazy psychopath around other people I don't know all that well.

"There's everything to be nervous about. What if it all goes wrong? What if everyone dies because of my mistakes? What if-?" My questioning got interrupted by Petra's sudden embrace. I hadn't realised til now but tears were running down my face as my arms wrapped around Petra; returning her embrace.

I rarely ever show my emotions around other people but the members of GOPE, Levi, Erwin and Hanji are the only exceptions. My facade is broken when I'm around said people; they're the only one that make me smile, laugh, cry, and feel so many more emotions.

"Everything's going to turn out fine if your just believe; believe in us and, most importantly, yourself because if your don't trust in your fellow comrades, you'll find yourself doubting everything around you. If you don't believe in yourself, it'll cause more sorrow than not succeeding in your goal. So just believe - trust in yourself and us as well. We'll always be there for you, even if you mess up; even if the world is all coming to and end."

My arms wrapped around her even tighter as I felt more pairs of arms surround me. I looked up, still in the embrace, realising that Gunther, Oluo, Petra, Eld and (surprisingly) Levi were all now hugging each other in a group up.

I smiled a real, genuine smile as we broke away from each other's embrace, making me feel the warmth leave my body but just barely there. They all smiled back at me, Levi only releasing a barely noticeable smile but I saw it anyway.

"Come on, it's time to leave." Levi ordered in a stern voice, his face returning to his usual one but his eyes were still soft. The rest of us immediately followed his orders, mounting our horses.

My horse was a pure white with small black spots here and there. I named her Snash; the 'Sn' representing her beautiful white skin which looked like snow and the 'ash' represents the tiny black spots against the white that sorta looked like ash. It's not the greatest name there is but I couldn't think of anything else and Snash seemed to like it so I figured, why not?

When everyone had mounted their horses, we rode out of the stables, which were as clean as they could be because I had just cleaned it this morning and, unsurprisingly, some dust had started to gather. 'Ugh... I just cleaned that this morning...' I thought as I spotted a whole heap of dust that was collecting on the fences of the stables.

Galloping, the horses headed towards where all the Scouts had gathered to set off on their quest to eliminate their arch nemesis: the titans. As I tugged at the reigns, I slowed down Snash so I was the back of our little group.

As I did this, I thought quietly to myself about what could go wrong and what could go right but then, I quickly urged the thoughts away, instead, I thought about... home.

It's been so long since I've actually thought about Earth but I don't miss it one bit all because there was nothing left for me there; there wasn't anything that I missed - well, sure, I missed being able to watch anime from time to time but... that was it.

I had no family that would miss me; I had no friends that cared, heck, I didn't have any friends at all, let alone, anyone to talk to. I was always so alone but now I have friends and family here and I wouldn't trade it for the world; they're everything to me, mostly because they're the only ones I've talked to in years - decades, even.

A fallen angel can never return to the place they once belonged.

I smiled quietly to myself, closing my eyes, trying to imagine all the good times I've had with my fellow comrades; the time when I first met them; the time I would run down hallways to get away from Levi; the times when I would laugh with comrades at something funny; all tears that I cried and, most of all, all the smiles. Those were good times.

But I knew that good things must always come to an end.

It isn't fair... but I already knew that. Eventually, everyone will die, leaving me behind in this miserable world; eventually, all that would be left is me and the corpses of my fellow comrades. Eventually, everyone will leave me all behind; I wouldn't be able to go to heaven nor hell.

Nor can they belong anywhere at all.

It pains me to say this but... I don't want this life; I don't want to be immortal; I don't want to be left behind. I know that I wished for a new life... but I was hoping for a better one and, in a way, it's better than my old life but it's still painful. I guess this is my punishment for being selfish.

But who could blame me?

A feeling washed over me; a feeling I've never felt before but... it felt so familiar. I was sure I knew that feeling from somewhere but... where? I questioned this feeling in my head over and over, never reaching an answer.

They must stay in a rotten world for all eternity.

I gripped my chest, where my heart was. It hurt. Those were the only words I could use to describe this unwelcome feeling. No one had noticed me falling behind the group but one; Levi. Of course it was Levi, who worry about me so much? Everyone else was chatting up a storm whereas Levi had looked behind the group only to see me gripping my chest painfully.

Because that is their punishment.

He stopped his horse, turning his beautiful black horse towards me. "Seki, are you alright?" He asked, concealing his worry with the tone of his voice, this caused the other members of the group to follow his lead, all of them with worried faces.

For all of their sins they have yet to atone.

I tried to respond to his question but I could only manage to nod unconvincingly. Worry took over Levi's small form, although, he tried not to show it but it was obvious he was worried about me.

But...

He got off of his tall horse, which I had always wondered how he got off and on of but now wasn't the time. My breathing became erotic, my efforts to calm down was in vain, causing Levi to worry even more. 'What is this feeling?' Were the only thoughts that were going through my head at the time.

They are able to atone.

Eventually, all I could see was darkness; I didn't know what happened but I assumed I had passed out from... I don't even know. Maybe, it was exhaustion or.. maybe, stress? I don't know and I don't think I ever will. When I asked, everyone just shrugged and changed the subject... but I think that I switched with my original...

All they have to do...

Although, I remember a pair of warm arms embracing me tightly... and, even though, I should've been worried about what was happening... I smiled... because I felt safe in those arms but, I knew, that it wouldn't last forever no matter how much I want it to or how much I wish upon a star.

Is destroy their very soul until all that's left is a fragment of who they used to be.