Andrea P.O.V.

Weeks were passing by so quickly and I still didn't feel any better. I didn't feel any better. My mood was just sinking and sinking by every passing week. I was still acting as if nothing had happened, especially around Ali. He didn't really suspect anything. The only person who knew about my true feelings was of course Lea.
I had a whole day for myself today. I was working on finally writing my own songs. I made myself some coffe and sat on the table in my room. I took out my lyrics book and strated writing.
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Few hours passed and I had something. It could use some work but I really didn't want to spend my whole day just writing. So I took my headphones and went out for a walk.
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After an hour I was heading back home. I almost choked when I heard Kristian's song came on my playlist. Then I got a text from Misha. Why would he be texting me now?

He doesn't know I'm texting you. But I have to tell you(show you) something. It was left open on his dining table. He will kill me but you have to see this.

After that message I got a picture of a handwriting. In russian. Wow Misha, you know I do not know russian. And text after that was a translation. I was just stepping on my porch and I froze in place. That photo was from Kristian's diary. That exact page contained all his feelings after the red carpet.
Then my phone buzzed for the fourth time. It was a message from Misha again.

He still loves you.

A tear escaped my eye. I took a deep breath. I knew exactly what I have to do.
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I ran into my house and went on my laptop. I booked my myself an urgent plane ticket to Moscow for today. I bought the only ticket left for Moscow for that day(the earliest flight possible). I took few essential things and ran to the bus that was driving to the airport. My heart was pounding faster and faster by every passing minute. I quickly texted Lea and turned on the airplane mode for no distractions. I ran into the airport, because the plane was leaving in an hour, so I had to run.
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I did all the security and was standing in a row foe the gate. I was shaking as I gave my ticket to the guy standing there so he can check it. I found my seat and fastened my seatbelt. As soon as we took off I put in my headphones and just leaned my head against the window.
I didn't know if I was sacared or excited. Was I doing a really stupid thing or not?
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As soon as I got out of the airport I took my phone and turned on the internet. I had so many missed calls, and messages everywhere. I didn't answer any of them and went on my instagram. I turned on the camera and filmed a short video:

Two years ago I made a mistake. It was the biggest mistake in my life. I tought I was going to forget it. The truth is, I never did and never will. I am here now, and I am going to pick up the leftovers of my courage and try to fix it. I don't expect him to ever forgive me, I can't even forgive myself. I hope this will turn out good, if not I will leave this place and never go back.

I finished the video small tears rolling down my cheeks. I wiped them away and called a taxi. I knew where he lived.
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As I got out, I had chills running down my spine. I looked, and there was his house right in front of me. I took the biggest possible breath I could and wento his door.
For a few seconds I just stood there looking at dark oakwood door but I finally managed to lift my hand up and I knocked on the door.
How I felt?
To be honest I don't even know.
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A.N.
I finally wrote the next chapter yayyy. I really hope you liked it. Next few are gonna be a little less drama(my way of saying none). Please stay safe!
Lots of love,Viktorija❤