"Chanyeol, let go off me!" An angelic voice pleased him to let him go. Only a blurry sillouette was seen.

"No, please. I can't let you go."

"It's enough, you are suffering so much. Let go of me, Chanyeol."

"Don't leave me, I'm begging you."

"Let me go."

"Please, say my name once again."

"Chanyeol. . please"

"Again" Chanyeol begged, tears falling down.

"Chanyeol. . Chanyeol"

"Chanyeol!!" A harsh voice woke him up. He was covered in sweat and tears, a daily routine.

"What, what happened?"

"Dude, you're screaming again in your dreams. You need to talk about it."

"Jongin, I'm fine."

"You're not!" Jongin yelled at him. "You cry almost every night Chanyeol, for the past four years that we have been roommates. You need to let go of him Chanyeol."

"Jongin, it's hard to forget beautiful memories."

For the past four years Chanyeol tried to forget him, him and his beauty, him and his positivy, him and his love. With Baekhyun, also Chanyeol's reason to live left him. He never felt so empty.

Chanyeol left his job, rather than leaving, he got fired. His boss said that his positivy towards everyone was gone and that he took the business down with his depression. His parents tried to encourage him but with no help.

Chanyeol felt like he went crazy, he didn't leave the house, but didn't want to stay in there either. Sometimes he even thought that he heard Baekhyun entering the house or hearing his voice, it drove him crazy.

"What if they won't like me?"

"Baekhyun, I love you, so they will love you too. Don't worry"

"Mom! Chanyeol yelled at me!"

"Chanyeol!" She pinched her sons arm. "Don't you dare raise your voice at Baekhyun."

"Am I your son or he? He never listens to me."

"I don't care, don't hurt Baekhyun." She said and hide the small boy behind her back. Baekhyun was showing Chanyeol his tongue, hugging Chanyeol's mother. "I love you mom."

"I love you too, Baekhyun" she smiled at him softly.

"Mom how are you even. ." Chanyeol talked to him self like every day. "I never had the courage to talk to you about him.

"I don't get it. We are friend for so long. Chanyeol and yet you never gave me a chance to help you. I don't think this is how a friendship works. Shouldn't we trust each other?"

"Jongin, please"

"Shut it, Chanyeol. I'm sick of this, I want you to trust me, I don't want to drown in your depression. Just tell me why-"

"I'm alone, okay?!" Chanyeol raised his voice. "For the past four years, Park Chanyeol has been dead. Not only he but his boyfriend too. The boy he loved the most, the boy he would be sacrificed for, the boy he would die for."

Jongin's eyes widened.

"He is dead, his body is withered, but my love isn't. The only things I have are my memories, but I don't want them. I want to forget these memories, but I can't because they are so beautiful" Chanyeol cried.

"So, so beautiful Jongin. He was everything I needed, everything I wanted and now he is gone. I loved him so but, no," he stopped himself. "I still do love him. I would never stop loving him, I can't Jongin, I tried" he whispered.

"Chanyeol, I-"

"I go to bed and feel his body laying next to mine, I walked to work and saw beautiful face smiling at me, his body sloely disappearing in the hallways. Sometimes I hear his voice murmurinf words I don't understand. I see him when I close my eyes, I see him when I open my eyes, he won't leave me, Jongin. I can't do anything against it, I love him so much, I feel so guilty."

Chanyeol was at the point, where his legs lost strengh to hold him.

"I wish I was dead, I wish I died instead of him, I pray to god everyday not to take my life until I suffered as much as he did in the fire. As long as my body isn't demolished as his, god shouldn't take me away."

Jongin walked over to Chanyeol, hugging him.

"I miss him so much, It feels like he will never leave my side, he won't leave me because he is so beautiful Jongin, my memories are so beautiful." He cried. Chanyeol cried and didn't stop, even after he fell asleep, his body shivered, his heart ached.

The next day arrived, Chanyeol woke up in his own sweat, hia body felt disgusting and no water in the world could change this.

Jongin wasn't at home, he had left early. A breakfast was on the table, a little note telling Chanyeol to eat.

"Wake up! Breakfast ist important!" Baekhyun's voice appeared in his head.

Chanyeol sat down, the beautiful smell of the food just disgusted him, he couldn't take a bite. He sat there straight for twenty minutes before cleaning everything up, he felt guilty for not eating anything.

"Stop watching so much Tv, Chanyeol." A soft voice sang again in his head before he pressed the button to open the tv.

He didn't even watch anything, he just needed sounds to cover the once in his head.

"-ll you, marry me?" The actor said his line, which caught Chanyeol's attention. He looked at the screen.

"Are you sure that you want to marry me?"

"Would I ask otherwise?"

The girl chuckled, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Yes, yes I want to marry you!" She cheered.

Chanyeol felt lonely, empty. That could've been him and Baekhyun, but that will never happen. He looked at his hands, at the two rings he wore for the past four days. The one which was made for Baekhyun was on his little finger.

The best thing in life are the people we love, the place we have been and all the memories we have been made along the way. Nothing will ever be really lost to us as long as we remember it.

Another day of Chanyeol visiting Baekhyun's grave. Five year had passed, he still wasn't over it. He never will be. Every day was a day filled with guilt, with emptiness. The hole Baekhyun filled with love, was a hole again with Baekhyun leaving him.

"Jongin still won't stop, what do I do, Baekhyun?" Of course he didn't expect an answer, all these years have been quiet. He missed his voice, the only place Chanyeol could listen to his angelic voice was in his head. "My friends say I talk too much about the same old stories with you, I wish I could've made more of our beautiful memories, babe. ." Tears were rushing to Chanyeol's eyes.

"No, no don't worry, I won't cry."

Chanyeol smiled weakly. "I wish you would be here. I'm so lonely, I quit my job years ago because I kept seeing your face everywhere, sometimes I thought you entered my office, or that you waited for me at home. But everytime I come home, the lights are out Baekhyun, the light of our house, the light of my heart."

He couldn't hold back his tears. "I hate this disease, the disease of strong memories, Baekhyun. Why won't you leave my head, huh, babe?"

Chanyeol didn't know what to feel. "Why are always the same memories playing in my head, Baekhyun?"

__________

The next chapter is the last one~