Nathan.

"Nathan you have made me so proud. You see this smile on my face it's all because of you."

My mother said as she sat at my desk probably crossing her legs like she always do.  I was not interested in this conversation because I knew exactly where she is going with it. So I just continued looking at the tiny snowflakes falling outside.

"I have work to do." I tried to dismissed this conversation before it goes any further but she wasn't getting the drift. I did not heard any movements of the chair so I knew she was still sitting.

"We have been getting so much ratings and the sales have gone back up already. And I know we will make a lot more money when the pictures of you and Nora are published"

"Like I told you mother, I am not doing that photoshoot."

"Nathan you have to. People still can't believe that you are married so we have to give them pictures to see that you are in love."

"I am not in love with Nora." I am incapable to love.

"You are , you're just too afraid to admit it."

"Can you feel what is in my heart?"

"No, but it took me nine months to form it. So-"

"So what mother? You should control it now?"

"I'm not saying that."

"So stop forcing me to love Nora. I am doing what you want already so don't tempt me to tell the truth."

"I want a grandchild so love your bride." That's exactly what I am doing I am trying to love my bride. I am trying so hard not to feel for Ashley but I can't stop the feeling. I wondered if she's alright. I haven't heard from her in a week. I wondered if she is still having the nightmares. I wondered if she can sleep peacefully at nights and I wondered where she is and if she is safe. So many unanswered questioned and I don't have any answers to them.

Why did she go without telling me. These actions keep forcing me to do what my mother wants  and I am so uncomfortable doing it. I don't know if I will have Ashley. I don't know if she will fucking leave. So I have to do this pretending with Nora but one thing for sure I will not fucking have sex with Nora.

"You are not getting a grandchild from me anytime soon."

"I want a grandchild and that is finally. Go and be with Nora."

"Enough mother!" I yelled turning around pounding the desk with my fist. I take a puff of my inhaler. She  is getting me so fucking worked up. Why don't she understand that my life is not her business. She is not the editor of my fucking live. I was going to fix my mistake but no she has to do what is think is right.

"God dam it child are you going to give me a heart attack!" She yelled putting one of her hand on her heart. I am just beyond angry. I didn't answered I just looked at her trying to see if this is my mother. This is the mother who always cared me and my sister was always happy and have everything we wanted. This woman wasn't showing any emotions. Her eyes were hard as stone. She was dressed in a black dressed. I think she is wearing her dark heart on the outside.

"Where is the sweet loving mother I know? What happened to you."

"I am still that person." She stand walking towards me. She outstretched her hands to put on my cheek but I turned my head refusing her touched.

"But business is business.We need to talk about the merger." It's always about business for her. She doesn't give a fuck about anything.

"Mother I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Nathan-" Her phone rings cutting off her speech.

"Yes, I will be right there."

"This conversation isn't over." She said turning around and walking away.

Whatever. I am just fucking glad that she is getting out of fucking my office. My mother is making the greed for money eating her alive.

I turned and continued looking outside. The snow has picked up its pace. I pushed my hand in my pocket and take out my phone trying to call Ashley one last time but it when straight to voicemail again. I  have convinced in my mind that she wanted nothing to do with me. I'm a fucking cursed child.

I can never be happy. That word was strike out of my book ever since Cindy.

This atmosphere no longer needed my presence. I need to get out of this fucking office.

***

I was at Starge this underground club in the city where me and Jai normally comes to when we wanted to feel good. To feel really good. I parked my Audi and walked towards the door. The guard stopped me. I outstretched my hands as he searched me and patted me down. He had on so much beard and the look on his face right now is saying if you make any wrong move I will break all your fucking 206 bones. He was looking at me when a beam of light flashes on my face just for a second.

"Fuck Nathan, I haven't seen you since..-" I stand looking at him trying to remember the face, the voice.

"It's me Clay." He give me a shove on the shoulder, dragging my memories.

"Clay.." I laughed out "the fuck you at bro." I'm just playing my park because I don't have the slightest idea who he his.

"You don't remember me."

"No" I shook my head.

"You remember the nerdy kid in high school. The one that was being bullied and was kicked so hard that he remained unconscious for a week. I remembered you , you beat those boys. You saved my life. I own you my life."

I now remembered him but that story is for another day, right now I just want to feel good and forget everything. He let me go in and I was now surrounded with sweaty bodies, loud music and darkness. The place was surrounded with blue lights.

"Hands in the air!." The DJ shouted over the microphone and everyone listens jumping with their hands in the air and screaming on top of their lungs. The disco music was loud and I know I was at the right place.

I was drowning in the music and drinking my second glass of whiskey when someone bounce into. It was a skinny boy which was in his twenties. His hair was green and purple. What an awful combination.

"Oops, sorry bro." He said after studying me. One thing I know for sure is that he is high as fuck.

"What do you have?"

"I don't know what you talking about." He replied nervously. He was shaking and I know he have something.

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about." I put a firm grip on him, squeezing him so hard it looks like his pupils were about to jump out of their sockets.

"Alright, Alright" he muttered through the pain. I ease my grip on his hand, still hurting a little but not as much as before. He is a soft nut to crack. Softies should not do drugs dealing. If I was a cop he would be so fucking busted right now.

"Do you have Molly?"

"No man."He looked around then he pulled something from his pocket. "This is not molly it's something stronger."

"How much is it." I asked as he put the bag in my hand.

"Just give me a 50."

I look at the yellow and red tablet in the bag then I gave him the money and he left. I was spinning the tablet in my hand, twirling it between my fingers. I need to forget her. I need to get Ashely out of my mind and this whiskey wasn't helping.

Is this what I wanted? I asked myself.  Yes. I haven't heard from her in a week. I'm sure I am dead to her. I  have to forget her and my mother constant plead for a grandchild.

Fuck this.

I pushed the tablet in my mouth and swallowed. No thinking about it just doing what I want to feel good and to fucking forget.

I was now in the crowd screaming like this rest of the people here. I pushed my hand to my neck and loosen my tie a little. I feel light headed and I was sweating. This girl comes on me dancing and grinding her body against mine, I responded dancing behind her. She was in a tight dress with fish net stockings. She then turned and locked her lips with mine. Her lips feels good. Gosh I miss this lifestyle. Living without a care in the world.

****

"Oh yes baby." I moan as she put her sexy lips around my cock. I fist her hair around my hands as she work her head up and down. She then pushed down her mouth trying to get everything in her mouth. This deep throating is sending me over the fucking edge.

I didn't bother to get her name. I didn't need to because the moment she's done I will forget about her completely.

My eyes were spinning and I don't think I have control over my body or my mind. I don't even have control of the situation here.

She then release and started playing with my ball's. Wow feels so fucking good. My eyes were rolling and I was so close to organism.

"I'm going to come."

"Come over my face." She whispered. I did as she asked and she stick her tongue out licking what she can catch.

I then shake and pushed in my length in my pants and lay on my bed. My bed , what the fuck. I never bring anyone , any one night stand to my home. I felt exhausted. I didn't have the energy to over think this.

"Hey, you like that?" She asked. I closed my eyes shut as she lay beside me.

The drugs were now leaving my body. I was sweating like a pig. I need to wash my face and take a shower. I felt a weight on me as I tried to get up. I opened my eyes and saw a dark skin girl.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I'm so fucking screwed. What the heck did I do. I wouldn't be concerned about this if it was a few weeks ago but now I am and I don't have the slightest idea why.

"Hey" I shook her "get up."

"Ready to fuck  me now?"

"What."

"Ready for round two?"

"Get out! Just go "

"You just let me suck your cock now I want you to fuck me." She move her tongue over her lips and spread her legs opened.

"I can't do this. How much money?"

"I don't want your fucking money. I want a good fuck."

"Here just go." I pulled some money from my wallet and pushed it in her hands. I hold her hand pulling her towards the door when I saw she really wasn't going to leave. She outstretched her hands taking her jacket from the floor.

"Asshole" she whispered as we reached the door. Just as she stretched to open the door. The door opened like it as a mind of its own and I saw her.

I saw the girl I was trying to forget. I saw the girl who has squeezed her way into my heart. I saw her with tears running down her cheeks.

I saw Ashley looking at me, looking at her as she pushed her way through the door and I was completely dumbfounded.

Things are getting interesting.

This will be the last update for now. I thank you all for reading and sticking with this story. Love you all.

I am really proud of myself. Why? Because I am at freaking change 16 . If you used to read my Teen fictions novel then you know I never passed chapter 5. Haha 😀