Where would you begin?
Where do you believe the issues began?

When?
When do you believe they would end?

How much work would you need to put into healing? Even then, how long until you reach nirvana?

For Pidge, everything seemed to be taking its lovely time. Things moved slowly almost as if he were stuck in traffic with that one annoying prick behind him honking on the horn in irritation. Time seemed to pass by quickly when he spent his time that morning dancing with everyone under the rain, becoming drenched in it as they smiled and laughed and acted like complete idiots. It felt normal and it felt right.

Now, he sat in his bedroom with his blanket pulled over his head as he kept his arms wrapped around his stomach in agony. He had been smiling all morning but now he was in the safety of his own home where people wouldn't judge him. He was wincing now and then when the cramps would get so bad he felt like he would throw up if he moved. He hated all of this. He hated being born with this body. He felt truly disgusted for having this issue.
Why was it him?

A small knock at the door echoed into the messy room making Pidge groan and pull the covers around himself even more tightly while he glared at the bottom half of the Marvel poster hanging on the wall his bed was pressed against. "Go away!" He shouted.

The door creaked open despite his request and shut behind the person before silence enveloped the room once more. Pidge frowned but didn't try to roll over to see who was standing in his little sanctuary he called his room. It was awkward. Too awkward.

"Damn," Matt's voice sounded as he stepped on an old water bottle laying on the floor with its label ripped off, "I thought I was the messy sibling."

Pidge grimaced as his abdomen felt like it was cramping up again and out of spite for the world around him, he pulled a pillow out from under his head and twisted around to fling it at Matt with full force also knocking Pidge out of his own bed. "I said get out!" He shouted as his body slid onto the floor so that his back and shoulders pressed down against the cold surface but his legs were up in the air still covered by his blankets.

Matt stumbled a few steps back as he caught the pillow and peeked around it. "Really?" He asked with a whiny voice as he pouted at his little sibling. Then he tossed the pillow onto the bed and knelt down to stare at Pidge with a soft smile of his face.

Pidge could never truly stay angry at his brother. Matt meant the world to him. He was the soul reason Pidge could smile in the mornings and be able to laugh at family dinners and enjoy living in the world sometimes. He loved the fact that the nerd he had grown up around who loved star wars and LARPING in the yard with friends had become well, the guy you see now.

Matt stretched his hand out to Pidge with confidence and his smile became even more bright as he motioned for his sibling to take it. "Come on, I got a surprise for you."

Pidge stared at the upside down Matt sitting in front of him and kind of frowned when he reached his hand out to him. "I'm suspended from school, should you really be treating me to surprises?"

Matt slowly dragged pidge across the floor. The blanket slipped off of his little legs and slumped down on the floor as Pidge was helped to his feet. Matt shrugged as he fixed Pidge's hair before picking two pieces of clothing up from the desk behind him and held it back out to his sibling. "I got mom's approval to this surprise, don't worry about being suspended. Well, be worried I mean you decked a kid in his fucking face but I mean, enjoy my surprise," He let out a sheepish laugh as he raised his eyebrows for Pidge to take the clothes.

Pidge looked down at them cynically. They were Matt's old 'Half-Life' sweatshirt and a pair of baggy sweatpants with zippers on the pockets. They looked like trash and something his brother would totally wear thinking it was cool.

Pidge raised an eyebrow at Matt, "Why your clothes?" He asked looking down at his own T-shirt and shorts he wore.

Matt rolled his eyes and shoved his clothes into Pidge's chest. "I've spent my life around two people who gets periods, I think I know what you want to wear when you're in pain Pidge," He ruffled Pidge's hair and smiled kindly.

Pidge couldn't help but also smile as he held the clothes to his chest. Why did he have the best brother ever. After Matt left the room, he quickly put the clothes on and realized just how comfortable he was in the sweatshirt and sweatpants that had been given to him. There was so much room in them for Pidge to move around in it and yet for them to still look like they fit the boy well enough for him to go into public with it on. He smiled as he looked down at it. He was happier than what he was a few minutes earlier.

Pidge was led out to Matt's stupid little car as he sang along to old songs by stupid boy bands he would listen to when they were kids. The car ride had been a bit long but it was all worth it when Matt sang 'I Want it That Way' to a car full of high school girls next to them at a stop light. Doing a dance to it as he exaggerated his vocals to the point where the girls were crying in their car from laughter. He was someone who could easily put a smile on anyone's face and the more time Pidge spent around him, the less pain and embarrassment he felt.

The surprise Pidge had been wondering about was a trip to the mall where Matt would buy Pidge any article of men's clothing he wanted. Pidge had a field day. He eagerly grabbed different types of sweatshirts, t-shirts, button ups, sweats, you name it, right from the racks and threw it into Matt's arms as he smiled in warmth at the shorter boy finally smiling in joy. They tried different styles, having Pidge mix and match clothes to see what looked best on him and what he should or shouldn't get. After they walked out with over two hundred dollars in clothes for the short gremlin, Matt bought him Chinese food and ice cream in the food court and even brought him to the candy store to fill up the largest bag they could find. By the time they were in the car, Matt's wallet had suffered a devastating blow and he stared down at it with tears in his arms as he remarked that 'it's like the great depression lives on in my wallet'.

This time, on the way home, Pidge was more excited than before as he stuffed his face with chocolate and sang along with Matt to 'Can't Stop Me Now' doing little hand gestures to trade off verses before they would both yell the chorus in unison like a bunch of dorks. They were smiling and enjoying themselves by the time the got home and dragged every last bag inside of their house. They didn't bother their mother as she sat in the kitchen handling a business call, so they decided to go upstairs and finish their day in the only way they knew how.

When they were younger and one of them were having g a rough day, the better of the two would sneak into the other's room and pull them from their bed and tell them that they would dance it out. They hated seeing the other one being upset and they made a silent agreement to always help each other by making them dance out their feelings. They always thought it was better than crying all alone in their room.

"You're probably feeling like crap so you know what we have to do right?" Matt asked as he plugged his phone into his stereo system an began going through his phone for good songs to play.

Pidge smiled softly as he nodded, looking around at the Star Wars posters that covered the walls. "Is that really a question? Of course I know what we have to do, dickhead."

"I prefer the term 'Furry', okay?"  Matt said as he finally chose a song and turned up his speakers.

Pidge couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia slap him across the face as the familiar sound of 'September' sounded. Matt started them off by holding his hand out to pidge and motioning him to come closer to him. Pidge smiled, his cheeks growing hot as he laughed slightly, watching his brother shimmying on over to his side where he began to attempt to do some terrible 80s dance.

Pidge slowlyosed his eyes, letting the feelings of anger and dread take over his body as he began to move his hips to the beat. "There he is!" Matt exclaimed as Pidge began to dance with him.

When the chorus hit they did a synchronized Cabbage Patch move and then began to jump around grabbing each others hands and spinning around in fits of laughter.

"Why are you kids being so loud?" Their mom appeared in Matt's doorway with a look of annoyance on her face as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Pidge froze up thinking they were about to be scolded for interrupting her call downstairs and probably embarrassing her while she spoke to  her client. However, Matt had a different plan. He did one of those stupid Running Man dance moves and inched closer to her before he grabbed his ankle and placed a hand behind his head to started hopping around and pulling his knee to his chest.

"C'mon ma," He said in between breaths as sweat began to form on his brow, "Come dance with us, this is your music after all!" He exclaimed before he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the room with them where she began to hesitantly move her arms in a weird dance move.

Just as Mrs. Holt began to get into it, the song switched over to Backstreet Boys and Mrs. Holt lost her little groove out of spite. She hated that group since she lived fifteen years hearing Matt blast them on high most of his life. They groaned as their mother excused herself out of the room but they too slowly found themselves no longer dancing but instead sitting on Matt's bed staring up at the ceiling with their fingers entwined with one another's.

"Thanks Matt, for everything today," Pidge whispered as he looked over at his brother.

Matt smiled and squeezed his hand gently, "Anything for my little brother."

Ello, I'm back :)

It's been a while since I've written anything so I apologize if it wasn't the best. It'll take me a while to get back into writing this story because I honest to god have not really touched anything I write for almost a month so I've lost my charm a bit but I'll be trying to get into it again. I graduated high school last week and got a promotion at work so things are okay right now.

How is everyone? I hope you're all doing well :)

-Anri