Everything felt so... weird. From the tingle in her slender fingertips as she gently picked up her coffee to the heaviness dragging her heart down. Allura didn't understand why she was here. She had agreed to a group putting without ever really thinking about how she would feel about being surrounded by so many people at one time.

She felt anxious.

She felt scared.

Most of all, she felt powerless against all the potential what ifs that could happen.

She was running on an hour of sleep after unrelenting nightmares keeping her up at night from the news of Lindon's death. When she heard about it, she had collapsed into Coran's arms in tears of joy for she had finally escaped a future of pure evil and suffocating darkness and yet that piece of her, her demon, felt sadness and guilt.

She had taken a life with her own two hands. Something that wouldn't stop replaying in her head as she tossed and turned in her bed, sweat staining the sheets as she cried remembering the moments that led her to such a drastic decision. She didn't want to admit it but holding the power over someone in a situation like that felt so... it felt invigorating.

She felt like she could have enjoyed it if she hadn't been so broken up in the moment and that single thought frightened her the most. She explained to the police what had happened to her that night and she didn't quite understand it but Mrs. Lindon refused to press charges or to even get her taken out of the academy she would be returning to on Friday. Mrs. Lindon had taken pity on the girl who had killed her husband, consequently setting her and her child free from the years of abuse they had experienced.

"So, you two are just even more gay for each other now?" Pidge asked, pointing his spoon at Keith and Lance who were sitting closer together than they normally would have.

Allura didn't care about listening to them, she was too busy staring down at her reflection in the coffee. Have felt as if the young woman staring down at her was a stranger. Her eyes weren't as bright as those surrounding her, her skin seemed almost sickly pale for her color, and her hair was sloppy. She looked as if she had been dragged directly off the streets and dropped into society without a transition.

She looked like someone she wouldn't recognize at first glance.

"Shut the hell up Pidge," Keith grunted from across Allura.

She continued to stare down at her reflection, feeling this thing beginning to boil up inside of her. She had felt it ever since that night, reemerging when she felt over stimulated like now. It was this emotion that made her want to scream and flip over the table and punch something as hard as she could until she tired herself out. It was as if the demon in her shadow had finally burrowed deep into her skin, ripping through layers of muscle and spreading through her circulatory system only to gnaw at her heart hungrily. Its smile no longer existent as its red eyes grew more and more bloodthirsty as it consumed her from the inside out. She slowly lifted her right hand from her warm cup and placed it flat against her chest.

Just listening to everyone made her ears ring. She wanted to drop her cup and just press the palms of her hands against the sides of her head but she didn't want to let that demon leeching off of her very essence to win her over so easily. She wanted to keep the sliver of innocence she had managed to keep a grip on. It was like a rose slowly wilting away as time ticked away, a petal falling as it neared its demise.

"Gay!" Pidge snorted as he flicked his trash at Keith's head causing him to lift his cane up but Lance stopped the black haired boy before he whacked the freshman over the head.

Shiro took a deep breath and gently placed his hand onto Allura's leg snapping her out of her weird trance she had been is as she stared at her reflection. "Pidge, let's just enjoy the fact that they're not trying to rip each other's throats out anymore," He sighed using his other hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.

Her blue eyes shifted from Shiro and I've to Hunk who was looking at her with concern. "Are you okay?" He asked, his thick brows raised as he sat on the edge of his seat completely ignoring Shay who was rushing around the café helping customers. "You seem off today."

Allura remained silent not realizing Hunk was speaking to her until Shiro gently nudged her while the rest of their group bickered with one another. Allura felt a heavy weight press down on her chest slightly as she forced a smile onto her face, "Yeah, I'm just exhausted. I'm not ready to go back to school and babysit the entire student council again..."

"Oh yeah," Pidge stopped screeching the word 'gay' and turned toward Allura, "How did that go?"

Allura raised her eyebrow in curiosity, "How did what go?"

"Your talk with the principal or headmaster or whatever it is you have at that prestigious academy of yours," Pidge replied with a deep sigh.

Allura didn't reply right away not because she was trying to choose her words but because she just didn't want to keep lying in front of everyone. She would've said that it went amazingly well but in reality it was horrible. The headmaster had basically told her she was going to be stripped of her after school duties and forced to go to therapy after the incidents that had occurred with Mr. Lindon. She listened as her own headmaster told her that he didn't want the reputation of the academy to plummet due to this inconvenience she had gone through so he was going to pay for her entire hospital bill as hush money. She felt disgusted, she felt like during those moments, allowing her demon trying to nest itself in her heart to gain control was okay.

She had imagined what it would feel like to take that lamp in between her and the headmaster and to just throw it against the wall and listen to the lightbulb shatter before she swipes everything off the desk and just punched him in the face. She wanted to see how frightened he was of her.

She was afraid that the others would think she was crazy if she told them this but she didn't want to lie. She looked down at her reflection and clenched her jaw before she spoke to them, "Every second felt like torture."

Shlip plap. Shlip plap. Allura turned her attention to the window that kept them separate from the harsh world outside and frowned as raindrops began to fall and paint the cement a darker color.

Lance leaned forward a bit, laughing off Allura's comment as he pointed outside, "Did anyone know it was going to rain today?" He inquired, blue eyes seeming to hold a little more light in them than normal.

Hunk nodded, "Actually I brought raincoats for everyone in case this happened!" He then rushed off to the door marked 'Employees only' before he came back with a little bag filled with raincoats. "They're different colors if that's fine."

Allura tuned out the world as they all began to grab jackets Hunk had brought for each of them. Shiro got black, lance was blue, Keith had a red one, Pidge was sporting a green one as he made Space Ranger jokes while Hunk wore yellow and Allura slipped on the pink one with Shiro's help before they made their way to the door.

Where was she going to go after this? She wanted someone to hold her hand and guide her to the right direction, down the linear path she had created when she was a young child growing up with at least one dream guiding her. Without her creed, she was lost. The raindrops slid off the hooded jacket as she stepped out and angled her face to the sky.

She was thing that stood between herself and her creed. It was her choice for where to go from here and yet she was lost. She wanted to scream at the sky, beg it for an answer that she knew would never arrive. She didn't want the demon inside to take over but she also found comfort in it. She knew that with it, she would be safe; it would protect her from harm and yet she was reluctant to let it take over.

She was reluctant to give herself the power she had always felt she was denied.

She was afraid.

Afraid and so terribly alone even as she held hands with someone she held dear to her tainted heart, listening to her friends splash in the puddles and scream obscene words at Keith who couldn't move as quick as the rest.

So again, where was she to go from here?

I'm going to start taking down the art I feature in the book here soon because I never got permission to use it and I don't want it to bite me in the ass when I least expect it so enjoy aesthetic photos.

Anywho, this chapter isn't the best but I struggled really hard with trying to write the chapter because I've been having writers block and I've been wanting to write everything BUT this. I tried though, if it's bad tell me and I will try to revise it :)

Thank you to those who sent me birthday wishes I really appreciated it!
Please, have a good night ❤

-Anri